In which Weasley Tequila is confronted by Lee high on luck once again, Lee the lucky blackmails Granger Hermione, and the missing nin's condition of being in multiple places at once is confirmed.
There were times, many times, that he'd wondered if his wait and see strategy was worth the sheer aggravation he had to put up with on a daily basis. If he'd been a bit more reckless, been a bit less depressed in the chamber, he could be ruling England right now.
Well, that might be ambitious, but he could at the very least be meeting with his Death Eaters and doing something productive.
Instead he was babysitting the golden trio and wondering how he'd been lumped in with magical Britain's very own version of the three adolescent stooges. Lord, somehow, the appearance of the shinobi had just made it worse.
Like that glimpse into Lee's life had reminded him that there really was a world outside of a Hogwarts ruled by Granger, Weasley, and Longbottom. And damn them all but he wanted it, he wanted it so badly it hurt.
But if wishes were horses then beggars would ride. More, there was no point in being impatient now, he'd lasted this long hadn't he? When Ginny was older, when she had graduated Hogwarts, then he'd have his day. Just watch, at the end of all of this Granger and company would be unwittingly working for him, shoving the wraith that was his other half out of the way, and he'd have himself a very good day.
He just had to wait for it.
"Bloody hell," Ron cursed as he fiddled with the extended ear whose other end was surreptitiously being hung from the windowsill of the Leaky Cauldron's main hallway in an effort to spy on their resident spies, "They're not saying anything in English."
Granger, sighing, beat Tom to the punch, "Honestly, Ron, they're alone out there, of course they're not speaking in English! It's why I thought eavesdropping was a stupid idea."
"You're the one who said we should know what they're thinking!" Ron spat back, flushing and looking more than a little embarrassed.
"That didn't mean I expected them to just sit outside the house and start gossiping about all their plans in English!" Hermione hissed back, bushy hair rising on end with her irritation.
As always, Neville tried and failed to calm their tempers, "Guys, guys, it's alright. We just wanted to make sure they weren't summoning the ministry, right?"
And they certainly weren't. No, peeking out the window it looked like Lee Eru was sulking with the other two-thirds of Konoha's golden trio trying and failing to lift her spirits. Yes, it really did seem that Eleanor Potter hadn't taken to Sirius Black at all. Poor Dumbledore, what would he do now?
Hermione gave a small hmph of displeasure, "I suppose so, but they're trained for this sort of thing, I imagine they could just sneak off later when we're not watching."
"And then what?" Ron asked, "They don't know where Sirius will be later. Neville's right, Mione, if they wanted to turn him in, they'd do it right now."
"So, they might not be turning him in," Hermione growled, "But that doesn't mean we should trust them either."
"I'm not saying that," Ron agreed, and then looked over at Ginny, wincing, "No offense, Gin."
Tom didn't know if he should be genuinely impressed or just vaguely amused that Ron had remembered that not only was Ginny in the room, but she was the only one among them who was on any kind of decent terms with their resident ninjas.
Truly, Tom couldn't help but think, they didn't deserve Lee.
"Oi, hey, wait a minute!" Ron said with excitement as he turned back towards the window, "I think she's coming back in!"
She was, but that wasn't the remarkable bit, what was odd about it was that she… It wasn't that she was glowing, but that was the word that popped into his head as she watched her, like she was so overflowing with confidence that it simply radiated from her being. Gone was that frustrated, miserable, sulking and replaced with an overwhelming charisma.
Suddenly, without knowing why, he found his mind racing back to Ollivanders' when she'd looked at him and he'd felt…
Oh god, his heart, it was happening again.
"I need to leave," he said, not to them, but to himself. Unfortunately, it had the three of them staring at him anyway, clearly somehow not seeing what he was seeing.
"Merlin, Ginny, I thought you were the only one that liked them," Ron said blinking even as he retracted the extendable ear, before he grinned wildly, "Although, I have to admit, that one kid punching Malfoy in the face was just—"
Tom didn't wait to listen, once again he felt out of sorts with this body he'd stuffed himself into, too small by half, and had to get out of here before she and the rest of them walked up those stairs. It was too late though, as always she was quick and confident, moving with graceful purpose up the stairs and cornering before he could dash back in their booked room.
"Tequila!" Lee said, her smile a bright thoughtless grin that felt the same as if she'd just thrown a thousand daggers into his heart at once.
Lee stepped forward, lifting some of Ginny's red hair between her fingers, giving him a look Tom almost wanted to describe as sultry, "Tequila, where are you running off to?"
Yes, apparently Tom liked them lethally confident. No, liked wasn't a strong enough word for what he was feeling, suddenly trapped in those bright green eyes, Tom loved them—
"Tequila looks like she's busy," Minato Namikaze abruptly cut in, snatching Ginny's hair out of Lee's fingers. His lips were stretched into a smile that was rather familiar to Tom, it was the kind he'd worn so many years ago at Slughorn's parties, something desperately polite yet brimming with malice just beneath the surface.
"That's Tequila's trouble, Minato," Lee said, glancing over at Minato before pinning Tom through Ginny again with a look, "She's anything but busy, so many plans and nowhere to run with them. I bet you Weasley Ginny knows absolutely everything there is to know."
Right now he wasn't sure if he knew his own name.
She smiled slowly, a shark's grin that he somehow couldn't look away from, "And I bet she's just dying to tell me."
Before Lee could reach out for Ginny again her hand was snatched, this time, by a very awkward Kushina Uzumaki, who was flushing the color normally reserved for tomatoes, "That really was a getting lucky potion, wasn't it, Lee? You know what, why don't Minato and I take you to some out of the way broom closet somewhere where no one will ever look for us."
Minato's head turned slowly, eyes cold, giving his comrade a frosty look, "Minato and I, Uzumaki?"
Uzumaki flushed, her head swinging back to him, "I mean…" she paused, eyebrows lowered, and then said, "No, I actually do mean that. I'm tired of being left out of—"
"Broom closets, Uzumaki?" Minato drily asked, which somehow managed to deepen Uzumaki's blush to shades unknown to both man and tomatoes.
"Mione," Ron asked, looking more than a little dazed, "What am I watching right now?"
A fourteen-year-old girl seducing a sixteen-year-old wraith trapped in a thirteen-year-old's body whilst simultaneously capturing the intense sexual interest and concern of her adolescent teammates. They had gone beyond love triangles, he couldn't help but think in a daze, he didn't even know what this shape was anymore.
"Mione, right, Hermione," Lee said, as if her memory had just been jogged, and she turned away from Ginny to stare at Hermione Granger, "That reminds me, Granger?"
Hermione squeaked, looking very alarmed, likely reminded of the last time Lee had spoken directly to her. Only, whatever it was about Lee in this moment, that strange oozing charisma, it seemed that Granger was just as hapless to it as Tom himself, and not only could she not look away she also couldn't speak back.
Lee placed a hand on Minato's shoulder, motioning towards him, "Minato Namikaze is muggleborn, his parents were foreign merchants who immigrated to Konohagakure during the second war. Despite this he not only has enough chakra to be a shinobi, but the cleverness, chakra, work ethic, and talent to be one of the greatest shinobi of our generation on the fast track to be in high command by the age of fifteen."
Minato looked somewhat abashed, rubbing the back of his head and blushing, "Lee, you don't have to—"
Lee then motioned to Uzumaki, "This is Kushina Uzumaki, heir to the Uzumaki clan and Uzushio, whose history dates back at least five hundred years. Not only due to her inherited abilities and techniques, but also her hard work, talent, and innovation she's currently the same rank as both myself and Minato."
Now it was Uzumaki's turn to look both embarrassed yet pleased at her teammate's praise.
Hermione looked dubious, concerned, likely feeling some sort of trap was closing in but not able to see it yet, "I don't get what this—"
"Inherited blood limits, family techniques, and raw chakra alone cannot and do not make one the best of the best," Lee summarized, leaving Hermione no room to interrupt, "Yes, those born from civilian families have a distinct disadvantage when entering the academy compared to their peers. Yes, they are statistically unlikely to have nearly as much chakra as their comrades. However, great shinobi have come from civilian roots and we do not disregard that."
Hermione looked stunned, all of them looked stunned, Ron and Neville glancing towards her as if to read what she thought of that and how they were all supposed to respond. It was, after all, an admission that Lee believed what Malfoy believed but that there were also clear examples that people rose above it.
Lee, however, continued, "You, Granger, can become a great witch or whatever it is you do here in England, through discipline, hard work, intelligence, as well as sheer raw ability. You will surpass any and all of the English clans, leaving lazy heirs like Malfoy who have forgotten the meaning of power and discipline scrambling in the dirt behind you with ease. However, if you think feeling sorry for yourself and calling anyone who points this out your enemy, then you will remain at best mediocre for the rest of your life. But maybe, in this country, mediocre is all you need to be."
Now Hermione bristled, the spell broken, "How dare—"
"Think, Granger, before you speak," Lee interjected.
She was so…
No, there really wasn't another word for it, cool. Lee was cool. She was doing here what Tom wished he'd had the nerve to do in Hogwarts over fifty years ago. Instead, Tom had bowed his head and taken it all with a smile, just waiting for the day when he would rule them all if he could only be patient.
"I don't need advice from you," Hermione spat, crossing her arms and glaring across at Lee, "You know I'm already the brightest witch of my generation, don't you?"
Then unexpectedly, Lee grinned, "You have chutzpah, Granger. That's good, you'll need that. More importantly though, remember this feeling, and remember that if you think you want Eleanor Potter staying in this country she will make it her life's purpose to tear that title from your bleeding civilian fingers and tell everyone it's because she's a Potter and you're not."
Hermione spluttered, but Lee was already gone, waiving at Hermione cheerfully, hooking her arm in the baffled Namikaze's, and giving Tom one last meaningful look, "Tequila, you will hand me an in-depth report on everyone of import inside and outside of Hogwarts within twenty-four hours."
A part of him wanted to refute that, say that he didn't work for her, that she was in fact lucky to even be alive right now. The other part of him still couldn't quite remember his name or how he got here.
By the time he managed to gather himself back together she'd already made her way back into the room where the others were waiting.
"Bloody hell," Ron said, and for once, Tom agreed.
Somehow, though Tobirama couldn't say how, they'd gotten stuck on the topic of Black Sirus' twelve-year wrongful imprisonment at the hands of his capricious government.
War was a messy business, civil war even more so, and it was not uncommon for there to be a cleaning of house so to speak. Generally, those who were loyal to the old regime found themselves quickly embarking for the pure world when the rebels came into power. However, it had not been the rebels who won here, the English nin had been beaten back into obscurity by none other than an infant Lee, and Black had instead been hastily imprisoned to assure the civilian population.
Though, this was not how Black himself had put it.
"There were arrests left and right in those days," Black said with a sigh, that spark of energy having diminished ever since Lee had fled the room and his offer of paternal affection, "Everybody and their brother was being brought to trial before what was left of the Wizengamot. Of course, that was the trouble, half the Wizengamot had been working for that bastard and were now scrambling to make it seem like they hadn't backed the wrong bloody horse."
His old friend and their current English chaperone, Lupin Remus, said nothing but simply quietly poured the five of them (Tobirama, Hashirama, Haru, Black, and himself) a cup of tea at the small table in the room.
"That's what I figure, anyway, that they were all so eager to make it seem like they were the most loyal of all. So, my case comes up, and it looks so bloody cut and dry that they don't even bother with it. Dumbledore thought I was secret keeper, James and Lily had originally intended me to be secret keeper, even Mooney here thought I was secret keeper. Nobody but James, me, and Lily knew that it was really Peter."
"Secret keeper?" Hashirama asked and Sirius just shook his head.
"There's a spell, a really complicated one, that lets you hide a location from anybody. Nobody, no matter how good, can get inside. However, for it to work, you have to have somebody as the spell caster powering the wards and someone as the secret keeper who can give out the location as needed. We didn't know that Peter would give it to the dark lord himself."
"And so they didn't even bother to try me, didn't wait to hear that it was Peter the rat, Wormtail, and not old Padfoot and I spent the next twelve years rotting in hell with my soul sucked out by demons because Dumbledore couldn't bother to talk to—"
"Sirius," Lupin cut in, giving him a look, and at the sight of it Sirius deflated once again, the anger and heat going out of him and leaving a man who looked so much older than he should have.
The people in this country, Tobirama had come to think, looked terribly young. This man though, even in Konoha, for his age he would look old.
"Of course, with Peter away, there's no exoneration for good old Sirius," Sirius said with a shrug, "And so I get to be under house arrest instead, which is nice and all, but after escaping Azkaban you'd think I'd get an upgrade better than the old family townhouse."
He laughed, shook his head, "You know, I don't really blame you guys for not wanting Ellie to stay here. I wouldn't want her staying with me, don't really, and maybe the Weasleys could take her in but if I think about it the choices really are slim. Well, no wonder you don't want her staying over the summer."
"Well," Hashirama said, looking absurdly guilty of all things, "It's not that we don't want that but…"
It was exactly that.
Tensions were rising, Lee was a chunin now and soon to be a jonin, the village could barely afford to send the four of them off like this now and they really expected her to stay for the summer, for years, with no payment being sent back to the village?
Black did seem to care, Tobirama would give him that, and he at least appeared to have a very legitimate excuse for not keeping an eye on the girl when England had the chance to. That, however, did not mean Tobirama was going to bend with sympathy.
Especially since, as always, that constant English headache was coming back from the proximity of Diagon Alley. God, could these people not make one item that wasn't vibrating if not tap dancing with chakra? Did they really need to have chakra in their everything as Lee would put it?
More, had they not put it together yet, that, "You could just hire her."
Tobirama blinked, watching as all eyes turned towards him, as he realized that he had just said it aloud and English no less.
"What?" Black asked, eyes wide and looking as if he wasn't sure he'd heard quite right.
"If you need Lee here," Tobirama said slowly, regretting every word but feeling in a bit too deep to stop now, "If your people need her here for some task. Then you could simply hire her and a team of shinobi from Konoha."
Of course, Sirius didn't know what kind of a price Konoha would put on a mission that was essentially "sit and look pretty and make the locals feel like they know what they're doing". As that's what it seemed like what these people wanted, from what Black had said.
"A task?" Black asked, before laughing, "What, you mean like defeating you know who again?"
Lupin hit the back of Black's head, looking all too much like the reasonable member of a genin trio, "Sirius!"
"You know who?" Hashirama asked, leaning forward.
"Oh, you know who," Sirius said with a small smile, before at their confusion explaining, "I mean, the dark lord, someone's told you all about him right? Merlin, Mooney, what have you guys been doing?!"
"The dark lord?!" Tobirama blurted, feeling as if he nearly wanted to fall out of his seat, "Isn't he dead?"
"Well…" Sirius trailed off, eyes darting between each of the foreigners, "Don't go spreading this too far around, but we don't think he's gone at all. 1991, what would have been Ellie's first year, he infiltrated Hogwarts by possessing one of the teachers. Then, we think part of 1992 he possessed Ginny, good kid but never quite recovered from that if you know what I mean. And now… I don't know, but Dumbledore's convinced he's not gone and I'm not either."
No, he wasn't gone, not in the way Black meant. He was currently sitting in Konoha fuming, chakra still sealed, because he wasn't terrorizing his countrymen after years of house arrest. The way Black talked though, it was as if his chakra was still lingering in England.
As his chakra had been lingering inside Potter Eleanor's head.
"How—" Tobirama stopped, trying to think of how to phrase this, "How powerful, exactly, would you say this dark lord was?"
The man from Lee's head, he had the chakra one might expect from a low ranking jonin, perhaps a particularly skilled chunin, but Tobirama had always wondered how powerful the man must have been to sacrifice that much chakra. Then, when reading the histories here, he had figured that was all the chakra the man had had and that his soul had somehow trapped itself in her rather than move onto the pure world.
"They say the only man he ever feared was Dumbledore," Lupin said quietly.
In other words, only one wizard in this nation was seen as being on par with the man.
Which meant that Ren was not all of the man's chakra, not even close, and that there very well could be another wraithlike piece floating about England. Which, suddenly made it very clear why Dumbledore was so set on reobtaining Potter Eleanor. It wasn't simply for blood limits, for the wellbeing of the village, but perhaps to eliminate the missing nin as she had once before.
"Defeating a missing nin like that, even if he is incapacitated at the moment, would cost a lot of money," Hashirama cut in with a smile, looking far too calm in this situation. However it seemed to have the intended effect as Black laughed.
"Oh, believe me, if Ellie can do it the ministry will be more than willing to pay. Well, if they ever get their collective heads out of their asses. Not to mention it's on the down low at the moment, so to speak, but if he does ever rear his head for real you can expect some real mass hysteria."
Black smiled, sighed, and then said, "That's a bit much for a kid though, tell you what, would you let me hire her to attend Hogwarts like a normal kid?"
Eru Lee would never be a normal, civilian, girl. Even if, somehow, they paid for her education and absence from Konoha and its wars, she would always and forever be a shinobi. In time, Tobirama believed that even these people would see that.
Still, Hashirama smiled softly, reached across the table to promise the man, "We'll talk to the hokage and see what can be done."
It was at this point out that the girl in question walked in.
And the first words out of Tobirama's mouth were, "What did you do?!"
Her chakra… he didn't even know how to describe it. He'd seen Lee's chakra far too often, overbearing and pressing as it was, even dampened down it would flood half the village the way Mito's and now Kushina's did. It wasn't larger than usual, but there was something about it that seemed to almost sing, to force Tobirama to look and just keep looking as she radiated the kind of confidence and good fortune one expected from gods.
For the first time, when Tobirama looked at her, he believed her self-proclaimed divinity.
Lee didn't answer, walked forward and took the seat next to poor Haru (who seemed to be feeling the effects without understanding why, breaking into a cold sweat just by her sheer proximity) and inspected Black Sirius.
Minato and Kushina, both grimacing and looking incredibly alarmed, loitered behind Lee.
For too long, she said nothing, causing Black to fidget uncomfortably as if he was more of a schoolboy than her.
"Merlin, you really do have your mother's eyes," Black babbled, "Look, Mooney, don't they look just like Lily's?"
Lupin didn't respond.
Minato tentatively reached out towards Lee's shoulder, "Lee, maybe now's time to—"
Lee just looked over her shoulder at him, not saying a word, then looked back at Black, "Sirius, I haven't been in England in ten years, and it shows desperately. Listen to Granger, her concerns are sometimes legitimate, and she'll tell you that I don't belong inside this country or this school."
"I—"
"You mean well, and I appreciate that, but don't force me to do something that you think is for my own good. You remember how well that went for you, don't you?"
Black laughed, rubbing the back of his head, looking like Lee had hit entirely too close to the mark, "Geez, Prongslet, you're so eerily intuitive—"
"You're doing it to me, even if it's for something you truly believe in, would not be all that different from what your family did to you. More, I can't guarantee our version would end any differently than yours did. Don't push this, Sirius Black, or none of us will like the consequences."
Black opened his mouth, closed it, then said, "Alright?"
With that, she summoned herself a cup of tea and smiled, "That went smoother than I thought, it's nice when things come together."
Tobirama's eye drifted to the door where a rather traumatized Granger, Weasleys, and Longbottom were only just now walking in. Meanwhile, behind Lee, Kushina and Minato looked as if they were continuing to regret everything.
Tobirama didn't know what was happening but he was dearly wishing it hadn't happened as well.
"A toast!" Lee cried out, raising her cup of tea with a delighted grin, "To the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, which for some reason I'm certain will involve dragons."
Author's Note: In which Lee gets everything she wants through a combination of charm and blatant threats. Good times.
Thanks to readers and reviewers, reviews are most appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto