I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter thirty four- I'm Here Now.

-Sirius' POV-

Lily gave me a kiss on the cheek, as I got up to go visit Zee. James had just come back and he's still as silent as ever. I know it's killing Lily, because the one I love is silent too and it's sure as hell killing me.

Remus had just told us that if she didn't wake up by tomorrow night that she'd be sent to St. Mungo's. That means they don't think she's waking up. But she had to wake up, she just had too. I know if she didn't that I'd still have my friends and Lily who I now thought as my sister. We've grown closer over this whole experience and I can finally see what Prongs has been bragging about for years. She really is a great person. I think that if I had her to help me I might come out of this alive. Well half alive.

She has no idea how much she means to me, I regret so much. I wish I never yelled at her and blamed her for Regulus' death and I wish I didn't act like I didn't care when Diggery asked her out. I should have told her I loved her sooner. I should have told her I loved her after she risked her life for my brother. I should have never let her go. No, I corrected myself I should have listened to her when she tried to tell me she wasn't cheating on her. I was so stupid and I wasted so much unnecessary time with my damn pride. I almost hate myself for this. I do hate myself for it, because if she wakes up and doesn't remember me or anyone else. I couldn't handle it.

I creak open the door slowly and slowly make my way over to her bed.

"Sirius." Someone croaks. I glance my head up sharply. That wasn't Zee I was hearing things. I had to be. I walk to her bead quickly and glance down. Her blue eyes were staring back at me. My knees give away and I fall on them. Those blue eyes, the ones I thought I would never see again. Tears leak out of my eyes, and then before I know it I'm sobbing loudly. She really was alive, she wasn't dying on me. And she knew who I was. She wasn't lifeless she was Zee. My Zee.

"Say it again." I say looking up at her.

"Sirius." I choke off another sob.

"Say it again."

"Sirius." She laughs, and I close my eyes as it bounces off the walls. That sounds, it was the most beautiful thing to me. "Why do I keep saying your name?"

"Because you remember me." She smiles and my heart clenches.

"Of course I remember you."

"I need to make sure you still have your memory."

"Okay.." she trails off.

"What does James call you?"

"Mauire." She answers.

"What is your animagus form?"

"A tiger."

"How old are you?"

"18."

"What is your-"

"Sirius." She stops me with a hand on my shoulder. "I remember everything."

"Even the bad stuff." I ask, as I stand up and take the chair next to her bed.

"Even the bad stuff." I was quiet for a moment.

"I thought you wouldn't wake up. I thought you left me."

"Wake up?" I glance up in shock.

"You don't remember what happened then?"

"Not exactly." She says. "I remember the fight and then almost killing the guy, and then I know I was passed out but I could somehow hear James about to kill the death eater. I stopped him, then all I remember is feeling people and hearing them talk sometimes but I couldn't talk back." A tear falls from her eye. "It was scary, I couldn't exactly hear what they were saying but I knew they were talking and I couldn't make myself talk back." She starts crying harder.

"You were in a coma. We didn't know if you were going to wake up. You were asleep for 2 weeks. It was the longest 2 weeks of my life."

"2 weeks? Oh my-" her words get cut off as she sobs loudly. I reach down and hug her. She squeezes me back lightly.

"It's okay, you're here now. And that's all the matters." She stops crying and sits back.

"How is everyone? Was anyone else hurt?"

"Everyone is terrible. James won't talk he hasn't said a word since it happened, Lily cries all the time, Remus is trying to hold everyone together, and Peter is picking fights with anything that moves. It's bad." She looks down. "I'm not doing so good either." She looks back up.

"Sirius I'm-"

"Don't apologize. I knew what you were doing when you said we weren't your friends. You were trying to save us, and I should have done something I shouldn't have stood there. So I'm sorry."

"Yeah but-"

"No! Don't interrupt me I have something to say and I want you to listen." She nods. "I've been so stupid, so, so, stupid. I should have listened to you when you said you weren't cheating on me. I shouldn't have blamed Regulus' death on you and I shouldn't have broken things off with you. I knew I loved you the whole time but I waited, I felt like I needed to get things on track first. Then when you went out with Diggery well I acted like a jealous arsehole, and snogged the first girl I came across. And during this whole week all I kept thinking about is how you thought I hated you when in reality I felt the opposite. I really am in love with you, so much. You don't understand how much you mean to me. I told Lily that I didn't know what I'd do without you. She said that I would be fine but the truth is I wouldn't be fine, I told Lily something and I meant it. I wouldn't be me without you." She looks up at me and cracks a smile.

"I wouldn't be me without you either." I sit back and breathe a sigh of relief. "Sirius?" I look back down.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I've waited so long to hear that again." I say squeezing her hand.

"Sirius." She says again.

"Yes love."

"I don't want you to tell them I'm awake."

"Why not?"

She grins at me, that grin I love so much and says, "I've got a plan."

Xx

Zee walks into the bathroom at the usual time when everyone comes down the hospital wing to check on her. I put my head in my hands, as the door opens.

"Sirius?" I hear Remus ask. I don't lift my head from my shoulders. "Where is Zee." I don't answer, but a smile breaks out on my face. "Sirius!" Remus yells.

"They took her!" I hear Lily sob. "Zee!" She yells.

"Yes?" The sobbing stops dead and I turn around and grin. Zee walked out of the bathroom with a wide smile on her face. I looked first to Lily who had her mouth hanging open, to Remus who was smiling, and to Peter who finally got the chip off his shoulder. But when I looked at James, nothing had changed. He still had the same cut off expression.

"Zee!" Lily yells again and throws herself at Zee. "Don't ever do that to me again! I missed you so much!" She cried hugging her tightly.

"I promise I won't." I walk towards the group as Lily let's go and Peter hugs her.

"Oh Peter." Zee sighs as Peter starts to cry.

"I-I missed you so much. It wasn't the same." She kisses his cheek and smiles at him.

"Don't hog her Peter, hand her here." Remus says. Remus grabs her quickly from Peter and hugs her tightly. He doesn't let go off her and I strain to hear the conversation.

"I love you Xeomara, please please, never put me through that again. I wouldn't be able to handle it next time." He says as he breaks down in tears.

"Shh Remmie, it's alright. I love you too."

"Hey don't kill my girlfriend! I just got her back." I take Zee in my arms bridal style and for the first time since Christmas I kiss her. He mouth parts and my tongue meets her. And I couldn't help but think that this was the best feeling in the entire world and nothing would ever beat this. I pull my mouth away from her reluctantly and put her down in bed.

"I take you to are back together." Remus say walking over.

"It's about time." Lily says.

"Agreed." Peter chimes in. I look to see Zee staring at James who had yet to say a word. She gets up slowly and starts to walk towards him.

"Jimmy." She says, his face breaks and his lower lip trembles. "Jimmy don't cry."

"Maurie." He says and she throws herself at him, as they both sob and starting muttering incoherently to each other between kisses. I had no idea what they were saying but they knew. I didn't even care that they kissed on lips, because I knew that they would never had what we had. And I would never have with her what they had together. Tears rolled down my cheeks at them being together, and I looked to see that my other friends were crying too. He really does need her.

-Xeomara's POV-

James brings his lips down and kisses me in a brotherly fashion, I kiss him back. "I love you." I sob.

"I love you too." He kisses me again. "Don't you ever do that to me again do you understand me."

"I won't. I promise." I stare into his hazel eyes and he stares back at me.

"I heard you." I didn't say it out loud my I knew he heard.

"You were what woke me up; I was waiting for your voice James." He stifles out a sob and then I hear his voice in own head.

"I'm sorry I took so long."

"Don't be." I say out loud. "Never be sorry, I would never be mad at you. Ever."

"I know, I know." He sobs. I reach forward and kiss the tears off his cheek.

"Stop crying because I can't stop if you don't." I say with a laugh, he laughs too and I sigh in relief and hug him."It's okay James, I'm here now."

Finally both of tears melt away and we were just left hugging each other. I lean up and kiss him again.

"Okay, look I put up with the other hundred kisses but if you kiss my girl on the lips again Potter I will take that beautiful red head off your hands!" Sirius says playfully. I laugh and turn to see Lily and him standing arm in arm, both wiping tears off their cheeks. James swings me up and carries me to bed.

"Stay." He orders. "You need to relax so you can get better."

"Yes Dad!" I say with a salute. He rolls his eyes at me.

"I thought I'd never see you smile again." Lily says, I reach forward and grab her hand.

"That pathetic death eater, he'd never been the end of me!" I say confidently.

"Still the same." Remus mutters under his breath I shoot him a mock glare. "And you were right." He adds louder.

"I usually am, but what about this time?"

"She loves me." He beams. "I told her about me, well accidently because I talking about how much of a great friend you were, then she told me she already knew and well we're together." I sigh in relief I was going to give that girl a large hug when I see her. She made him so happy.

"Thank Merlin. See Remmie, I told you that you just had to wait for the right girl. I told you you'd be perfect together."

"Thank you." He says.

"Didn't I tell you that that was what I was here for?" He nods.

"Heard you were picking fights with people Peter." He laughs nervously.

"Yeah about that," he says looking around at us. "Sorry."

"It's alright wormy!" James says from where he was standing with his arm against Lily, who leaned into him.

"You should be the one apologizing James!" She says with a whack on his shoulder. "You who haven't said one damn word to anyone for two weeks! Two bloody weeks!"

"Sorry?" He says leaning down and kissing her lips. I watch as she melts against him. When she pulls back she pouts and mutters,

"How can I be mad at you when you kiss me like that?" He grins.

"You can't be." He says kissing her again. The door swings open, and in runs Jade.

"Remus, listen I know- Oh My goodness! You're awake!" She says to me, as she walks over. I lean up and pull her in for a hug.

"Thank you so much for being with him." I whisper. She hugs me tighter,

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She pulls back and I say with a large smile.

"Welcome to the family." I say gesturing around at all of us. She grins back as Remus reaches forward and pulls her to his side.

"Sirius wasn't very helpful last night. What happened to the slytherins?"

"Most of them got away, but the ones that didn't were expelled." Remus says.

"And the guy that killed our parents, he was trialed and founded guilty. His punishment was the dementors kiss." James says grinning.

"Dammit! I wish I could have seen it!" Everyone laughs.

"Yeah me too." James and Sirius say together. I grab Remus' watch and see that they still had ten minutes till classes.

"Alright, I appreciate you all being here, but NEWTS are in two weeks and you all need to go study!"

"But Zee-" Sirius starts. I cut him off with a kiss on the lips.

"Go!" he sighs and stands up.

"Yes, love." He pouts and starts walking towards the door. We exchanged good byes and then I'm left alone. I sigh, they have no idea how good it was to hear them again. To be alive.

"Xeomara." Madam Pomfrey says with a smile. "How do you feel?" I smile.

"I actually feel great."

"Good. Just as long as you keep taking the potion I gave you, you should be okay."

"So I can leave tonight?" I ask hopefully.

"Well," she starts then sighs. "Yes, very well." I jump up and hug her.

"Thank you Madam." She shakes her head and hugs me back.

"I think we're past last names don't you. Call me Poppy." I grin.

"Fine then call me Zee."

"Fair enough." She starts walking away again.

"Poppy?" I call after her. "Could you not tell my friends I can leave, I'm going to surprise them tonight."

"My lips are sealed."

I smile at how great it's going to be to be back in my own bed. Well Sirius' bed whatever, same thing. I-

"Xeomara." I hear a voice say in relief. I look up into the twinkling eyes of Dumbledore.

"Hello Professor." I say and to my surprise he leaned down and gave me a hug.

"You had us all very worried." I smile apologetically. "But no matter, no matter." He says.

"You handled yourself well out there." He tells me. I frown.

"If I handled myself better I would be here right now." He shakes his head.

"No, you being here shows your bravery. You stood up for your friends and put yourself in danger to protect them."

"I'll always try and protect them. I wouldn't be anywhere without them."

"They wouldn't be anywhere without you either." I smile again but frown as I remember something.

"I almost killed someone."

"Yes, but you didn't." He counters.

"But I wanted to, I felt the curse on my lips. If I said it I have no doubt that he would have died. Does that make me a bad person?" He shakes his head.

"No, it doesn't make you a bad person. You were angry and upset. Your emotions were everywhere. He killed the people you knew as your parents and had just tried to kill you as well. But you stopped. You didn't kill him, and that proves what kind of person you are. It proves that you won't let grief get to you." He stops thinks before he says the next thing, "Xeomara, sometimes you have to kill people. It may not be right, and you may not like it but the order members, they've killed before. It doesn't mean that they are bad people. They did what they have to do. And if someday you do kill someone, it will be because you have to do it." He tells me.

"Are you sure?" He shakes his head yes.

"I've done things I'm not proud of in my life. Everyone has. But I don't regret doing some of those things only because I had to. But the other ones.." He trails off and I have a feeling he's talking about something very personal. He stands up and walks towards the door, right before he walks out, I ask him,

"The other ones?" He turns to me his blue eyes no longer shining, and he looks more than 100 years old.

"I'll regret until the day I die." Then with a swish of his cloak he's gone.