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Clowns x Love Letters x Experiments

Ever since her fight with Canary, Lucy kept having this dream. In her dream, there were two clowns, but they were strange. Everything around her was full of vivid reds, blues, yellows, greens… it was like a carnival. People mulled around, laughing to each other, and brilliant lights flashed on and off. The overly-sweet smell of fried food saturated the air. Everything around her was happy and colorful, but the clowns… the clowns were colorless. One clown wore an outfit that was mostly white with black splatters on it, and the other clown's outfit was mostly black with white splatters. It wasn't just the clowns' outfits that were black and white though; the clowns were like people in a black and white photograph – entirely grayscale. Each of the clowns would smile and hold a hand out to her, as if gesturing to her to come with him, but something told her she couldn't go with both of them. The mostly-white clown wanted to take her one way; the mostly-black clown wanted to take her another.

But in the end, even though one clown as whiter than the other, they were both gray.

Only the clowns' eyes weren't black, white, or gray – perhaps that was the most disturbing part of the dream. Crimson spots dotted the aqua eyes of the whiter clown, as if to taint pure, serene water with blood. On the other hand, the eyes of the blacker clown were a continual mesh of colors, continually warring with one another for whose existence would overpower the others. Unlike the whiter clown's eyes where she could clearly make out two colors, the eyes of the blacker clown were too chaotic.

Since she wouldn't take the hand of either of them, the clowns cocked their heads, bemused.

"Are you unable to decide?" one of them asked.

"How silly," the other one grinned. "A naïve child."

"I'm not naïve!" she wanted to shout at them, but for some reason, she chose not to say anything. They chuckled at her annoyance.

"She who cannot decide…" the first clown began.

"…chooses neither," the second clown finished.

And then the clowns would fade away, leaving her there, standing in the middle of the carnival.

"Zebulo-san, Shikua-san, thank you very much!" Gon said gratefully. Today was a great day. The sun was shining brightly down upon as they said their goodbyes to the two men who had helped them train to make it past the Testing Gates.

"Not a problem," Zebulo said. "You will need to be careful now."

"Yup!"

"Just follow this path up to the mountain," Zebulo continued, gesturing towards the huge mountain, enshrouded in a thick layer of white clouds, looming in the distance past a thick forest. "I think the house is probably somewhere on the mountain."

"…Probably?" Leorio repeated grimly.

"Sorry," Zebulo said apologetically, scratching the back of his head. There had never been much of a reason for him to go there, so he had simply never went. "To tell you the truth, I've never been to the house. Can't help you there."

"Please don't say that," Kurapica said. Zebulo smiled at the blond-haired boy.

"So then, we'll be leaving now!" Gon said happily.

"Do your best!" he called out as they walked away. He liked those kids – the innocent one, the calm one, and the loud, hot-tempered one. They were all different, but they were all good people. Killua-sama had made some nice friends… if only the other Zaoldyecks were capable of making friends like them.

But then again, if they were, they wouldn't be the Zaoldyecks anymore, now would they?

"The three of them really are amazing," Zebulo said, this time to Shikua. Shikua stood next to him, wearing his typical red vest and gold shirt while smoking a cigarette. He wasn't one much for goodbyes, so he hadn't said anything while Gon, Kurapica, and Leorio were leaving. "Now you should know the reason why I went 'psycho.'"

"Yeah, but…" Shikua began, "what really scares people is what's coming up next. Even with well preparation and complete protection, within only five minutes, she killed over a hundred men."

Zebulo knew Shikua was reminiscing to a time several years ago, and he knew who he was talking about – the mysterious line-guarding girl. The only time Zebulo had ever seen her was when she first walked came to the mansion with her younger brother… The two of them had looked so pitiful. He couldn't help but wonder what their reasons for coming to the Zaoldyeck mansion were from time to time. He doubted they were anything like that of Gon, Kurapica, and Leorio.

"I remember the one survivor was scared to death after that," Zebulo said. "He quit being a hunter and stayed to work as a door watcher."

Shikua let out a puff of smoke. "Well, that's when I truly realized what it means to do something out of your reach."

"But the masters and servants here are all monsters," Zebulo reminded him. There was hardly anyone that could compare to them anywhere in the world, particularly in the case of the Zaoldyecks themselves. "Those children will understand after they go across that line."

Zebulo thought about the three kids for a moment. Normally the household intruders were like Shikua had been, entering because they wanted the fame of taking down the Zaoldyecks. These kids were different though. It was amazing how far they'd go for their friend; most people would have given up the second they'd found out he was a Zaoldyeck. "If it's those kids though, maybe…" Zebulo started thoughtfully.

"I haven't had daydreams in a long time," Shikua commented.

"I heard you even pointed your gun at Mike to save Gon," Zebulo said incredulously. "Is that because they're still so young?"

"People need to have a dream."

That Deep Fat Fried Balloon… was a snake. Mind you, the fattest snake she had ever met, but definitely a snake. She had wanted to avoid Killua, but did he let her? Of course not.

The first thing he did was convince Killua to play a (probably rigged) video game with him under the condition that the loser had to do one thing that the winner wanted. The Deep Fat Fried Snakey Balloon told Killua to write a letter to chocolate, saying what he would do if it ran away from him.

And naturally, the Deep Fat Fried Snakey Balloon had given it to her and told her it had been written to her after whiting out the word "chocolate" whenever it appeared.

Now what, by chance, do you think that letter said?

It said something along the lines of:

(insert big splotch of white out where the Dear _ should be)

Where are you my beloved (insert more white out here)? How could you leave me? The world is such a dreadful place when I can't have you around. Your lack of presence in my life has shattered me! I don't know how I can live without you.

~ Killua

Clearly, all the chocolate he was eating had gone to his head and driven him insane. In any case, Killua's brain was more dysfunctional then she had realized. How the heck could he write that corny stuff? That had to be the sappiest thing she'd ever read. You know, she fainted when she first read it since she thought it was for her. Thinking about it, she felt her face heat up slightly, but she decided the reason for that was most certainly because of irritation and definitely not because of anything else. How dare Milluki trick her.

Vanilla was a good dessert. It kept you sane.

Oh, but Milluki wasn't even done after that! After that, he proceeded to drug Killua. And now you're asking, "How is it possible to drug a Zaoldyeck?"

It is very impossible indeed, if your name is Milluki Zaoldyeck.

He had simply slipped Killua some sort of enhanced alcohol that he himself had invented. Which would explain why the Zaoldyecks weren't resistant to it. He had purposely created it in order to make a drug that the Zaoldyeck's weren't entirely resistant to. She didn't know much about it, but she suspected that if a normal person took even a small sip of it, they'd automatically overdose. It wouldn't be the normal sort of overdose though. It would be the sort of thing where the second you think of something depressing, you want to commit suicide. What a great drug for a Zaoldyeck to create, eh?

Well, truth be told, it just made you act more on your instincts. From what she'd found out, Milluki had used the drug in order to test whether or not he could get Killua to go see her under its influence. And Killua did. Or at least Milluki said he did. Lucy couldn't help but wonder if Milluki had drugged her with something as well because she couldn't remember this visit at all. All she knew was that the Deep Fat Fried Snakey Balloon seemed to have gotten something intriguing out of it because a very creepy smile would curl over his fat, greasy lips whenever she mentioned it.

Well, she figured it must be true that Milluki had drugged Killua to make him visit her because the next morning after that, Lucy had woken up holding hands with Killua. One way or another, he had fallen asleep sitting next to her bed. Now Lucy wanted to know how the heck that happened, but she wasn't going to find out unless she could convince Milluki to tell her.

(So far, she had been rather unsuccessful.)

Again, she felt her face flush slightly, and again, she blamed it on irritation.

As such, she had then proceeded to attempt to free her hand of Killua's, but that was to no avail. She didn't know what kind of strange invention Milluki must have used to accomplish this feat, but she couldn't let go of Killua's hand, nor could he let go over hers, for the entire day. That stupid Deep Fat Fried Snakey Balloon. It was incredibly difficult for her to keep her calm when he was around. She had to constantly remind herself of Kuroro's and Shalnark's advice that letting anger control you only got you into trouble. Lots of trouble.

In her opinion, being stuck to Killua for an entire day was more than enough trouble as it was.

This time the flush was even greater than before. She needed to get better at not showing her anger on her face.

This was only anger…

Definitely not anything else.

Yes. Definitely.

…

…She hoped she could leave the Zaoldyeck house soon. She wasn't sure how much more annoyance by the Deep Fat Fried Balloon she could handle.

Milluki sighed, both pleased and displeased with his recent experiments. His first dating sim game experiments with Lucy and Killua were a success. Upon receiving the "love letter" from Killua, Lucy had turned a magnificent rainbow of reds doing one of the following: a) ripping up the letter, b) demanding to know Milluki what he was scheming, or c) fainting. She had chosen the third option, fainting.

Then, he had successfully drugged Killua with his own special concoction. Killua's options had been a) do nothing, b) go see Lucy, or c) investigate her connection to Canary (Yes, Milluki had certainly been listening in on Lucy and Canary during their battle. How he loved his household listening devices). He had chosen option b, to Milluki's great satisfaction. Although the two of them hadn't done anything particularly juicy (which was disappointing), Killua had chosen to stay with her all night and she had talked to him while half asleep. It was a possible fluff scene for a dating sim game, so it was nice material.

And then after that he had simply used another invention to make their hands stick together. The material he had received from that was priceless. The whole day, they refused to look at each other. They were too embarrassed. How amusing.

Now the experiments Milluki was displeased with were his recent zombification attempts. He had recently read a manga with a rather sexy zombie girl called "Sankarea," and he had to admit, it would be awfully nice to have his own personal zombie girl. He had attempted to research that stuff called "nen" that he had read about by hacking the Hunter website and found out it could also be defined as "life force". In that case, assuming he manipulated nen correctly, it was theoretically possible to revive the dead.

…Milluki couldn't use nen though.

…

(So in the end, it was only a given that these experiments were failures.)

If Zeno was there, he would have said, "Mil… you're a genius, but also an idiot," just like he did when Milluki made the mosquito bomb.

Author's note: Alright I'm gonna be honest and say that... I have some serious writer's block for the Celestial Tower arc. I have all these ideas, but I don't know how to organize them... which means more sporadic updates for this story. I'm sorryyyy D;

On a brighter note, you should read my sister's HxH story called "A Muted Truth is a Lie." It's good! I'm helping her beta it~ She only has one chapter up so far, but I think you'll like it ;3

I've also started writing a story called Fallacy for the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom. Check it out! xD

It's about a girl an incredibly curious girl called Claire who manages to get herself into the investigations department at the military. She not an alchemist, a chimera, or a homunculus, and she may not be a stronger fighter, but she's really smart. Just how strong is knowledge really? EnvyXOC.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter (Did you like my creepy lil clowns at the beginning? I think I've watched Dark Woods Circus one too many times...)~ Review please ;D