Daryl
The entire ride to the Sanctuary, I had to talk myself down. It was a good thing it was a long ride because I needed the time. I was going back to the place I swore I would never go. I had no choice. I had to do this for Maggie. My thoughtless actions had cost her enough already, she wouldn't lose anyone else because of me. Glenn's death was my fault. Even though Maggie said she didn't blame, I did. I was the one who impulsively swung at Negan. I couldn't take his taunting of Rosita anymore, the problem was I swung first without thinking of the consequences. That well-meaning, but poorly timed punch cost Glenn his life. We all had to watch as Negan brutally murdered him. That scene will forever be running through my head. Not a day went by that I didn't think of him.
That's why I had to do this for Maggie. I needed to redeem myself even this little bit, to make up for the loss of Glenn. Fetching the doctor from there was the least I could do.
I saw the Sanctuary buildings approaching in the distance and I felt like I was going to throw up. That's how bad I hated it here. And that's how bad I hated Dwight. He locked me up, kept me naked in a hot dark cell, fed me fuckin' dog food, but I never ever gave in. He took my bike, took my crossbow, and that bastard took my vest. That was the last piece of home I had. My only part of my life before the world went to shit. That vest was me and I want that piece of leather back.
I was able to steal my motorcycle the day I escaped. A got a new crossbow from the Kingdom, but I still didn't have that vest. If I had to kill that mangled motherfucker to get it back I would. But not today. Maggie had to come first.
Then there was Angel. If I tried to kill Dwight now it would be my death sentence. Me against the hundreds here had me on the losing end. I couldn't do that to her. I know she needed me as badly as I needed her.
Angel came into my life as I was giving up. I should have died that day from the knife wounds, but somehow I was able to stumble miles to that abandoned cabin. It was like something was steering me there for her to find me. Angel saved my life that day and changed me forever. I can't imagine not having her in it which is the oddest thing for me. I went well over forty years living for me and not caring about much else.
Merle and me used women for just one thing – sex. I wasn't the kind of guy you dated and brought home to Mom and Pops. No, I was the guy you fucked in the bathroom when you were half-drunk in a bar. I didn't need more and I definitely didn't want more. Livings with this group of strangers, who now were as close as family to me, I learned that women could be friends too. Maggie, Carol, Michonne, and the others became my friends and I trusted them. But they never warmed my bed. I never wanted that with any of them. Angel changed that the second I met her.
I was hot for her as soon as my eyes could focus that day. I said nuthin', did nuthin' about it. There was no way a beautiful woman like her would want an old redneck loser like me. But I loved the nights. We shared the same small bed with Angel cuddling up next to me. I never fell asleep until she did. It was the only time I could relax and let my imagination run wild. What would it be like with her every day by my side? And most importantly, what would it be like to be inside of her? Now I know. It's fuckin' incredible and gets better every damn time.
So, I'm not gonna act like a jackass and go after Dwight. I need more time with Angel. If I plan it right, she'll be part of the family by then, so if anything happens to me, I know that she'll be taken care of. That's why today's not the day.
As I approached the gates on the bike, I realized that I was saying that over and over again. "Today's not the day. Today's not the day." It couldn't be. There was just too much at risk for me to fuck this up. First things first and that meant bringing the doc back to Maggie.
"Stand back!" one of the guards shouted as I pulled up to the gate. They aimed their guns at me.
"Take it easy. I'm from the Hilltop. We need Doc Carson."
"Never saw you before. You ain't getting the doc," the taller of the two said.
Even though what they were saying made sense, I didn't have the time to deal with this. "Listen, get me someone in charge, now! We need the doctor. Ain't got no time to waste dealing with you pricks."
The shorter of the two finally ran off to find someone. The other guy kept glaring at me, but I just ignored him. I put the kickstand down and got off the bike. My heart was racing a mile a minute and I thought it was about to burst outta my chest. I hated this place so fuckin' much.
After a couple of wasted minutes went by the door opened and out walked of all people Eugene. The douchebag traitor. He looked at me in surprise. "Daryl, Rick said that you were dead."
"Yeah, well I ain't. We need Doc Carson. Maggie's gonna have the baby. They sent me to get him, but these two pricks won't let me in."
"Open the gate, Tyson and let him in," Eugene said as he walked toward me.
I took my crossbow off the back of the bike and strutted toward the building like I didn't have a care in the world. As the gate clang shut, I turned back to the guards. "If anything happens to my bike, I'll slit both your throats. Got it?" I didn't wait for an answer but just kept walking past Eugene and into the building that tried to claim my soul.
Eugene rushed after me. "I'll get Dwight. He needs to approve this."
I stopped short, turning to glare at the man I had absolutely no respect for. "I don't give a shit what you gotta do. I'm getting Doc Carson and taking him to Maggie. Ain't nuthin' gonna happen to that baby."
"I'll get Dwight," he said. I watched the one-time member of my group scurry away to find the man that I hated and had vowed to kill. With Negan gone, Dwight was number one on my list. The words "not today" kept running through my head as I made his way to the infirmary. I knew its location from my imprisonment.
Dr. Carson has his back to me as I entered the room. I was glad that he was alone. "Doc, Maggie needs ya at Hilltop."
"Daryl, my God you're alive," he exclaimed as he turned to see who was talking to him.
'Yeah, it's me back from the dead. C'mon we gotta go. Maggie's having the kid."
"Okay. I have a bag put aside for this in my quarters. Stay here and I'll be right back." He started to leave the room but stopped when he got next to me. "Good to have you back."
"Yep. It' s good not to be dead." The doc laughed at me and patted me on the arm before leaving. Well, it was the truth. I was glad not to be dead. Had too much to live for now. I really did.
I wandered around the room trying to kill time until he got back. The sooner we could get outta here the better it would be. Maybe I could be gone before even laying eyes on the prick bastard.
"Well hell. Looks like Eugene was right after all. You are alive."
Damn.
I slowly turned around to face the man that had made my life a living hell for a long time. The man I swore vengeance against and the man I couldn't kill. At least not today. "Been gettin' that a lot today."
"He said you wanna take Dr. Carson with you. Maggie's in labor?" Dwight asked as he leaned up against the doorframe.
"Yeah, she is. Is this gonna be a problem?" If it was, then I may have to kill him.
"Not at all, Daryl. We knew she was due soon. Both communities share Doc Carson. It's a win-win for all of us."
Just when I was hoping he was going to give me a hard time, he didn't. I didn't want Dwight to be nice to me. I needed him to be the same lying scarred bastard he was when I was here. That kept the hate going. Him being nice and agreeable went against it all. Saying nuthin' right now was the safest thing for me to do.
"Still don't talk much do you?"
"Not to pricks like you I don't." Yeah, so much so not saying nuthin'.
"I'm not the enemy here anymore, Daryl." Who was he kidding? Did he expect me to forget what he put me through? The hell I lived in because of him?
"So you say. But we both know you don't always mean what you say, right?"
Dwight shook his head. I was no pushover and he knew that. "I'll see what's taking Doc Carson."
"Yeah, you do that." I was glad he was gone. I didn't trust him one bit. I never would. Rick was stupid if he did. "Where the hell are you doc?" I said out loud to the empty room. "We gotta go."
"Ready," came from behind me and even though I was expecting him, it startled me for a brief moment.
I saw he had a filled backpack in his hands. "Good. Glad you got a pack. We're on my bike. It was the fastest transportation we have."
"Let's go then," he agreed.
I practically ran to get back to the motorcycle. Doc Carson probably thought I was in a hurry to get him to Maggie, which was true, but I also needed out of that building and away from the Sanctuary and Dwight. My urge to kill him was growing stronger by the second. But this was not the time or the place.
The ride back to the Hilltop was fast and thank-fucking-god uneventful. We managed to stay away from any decent size herd and the living for the entire trip. The sun was starting to set when I finally saw the tall walls of the Hilltop come into sight. That dirt road that led up to it was still a bitch filled with ruts and potholes. For once I was glad the ride was over.
I drove us all the way up to the front steps of Barrington House. Rick must have heard the engine as he came out the front door. "How she doing?" I asked him.
"It's progressing along. Glad you made it back with Harlan. Dwight still alive?"
I got off the bike and mumbled, "Unfortunately."
Rick chuckled and directed the doc to follow him. "Just a second, Rick." I watched the doctor open his pack and pull something out of it. "Dwight asked me to give you this when we made it back. Said you'd understand."
He handed me a piece of black folded leather and all I could do was stare at it. I barely knew that Angel had run to my side to welcome me back. I couldn't take my eyes off what he had given me. It was my vest. The black leather vest with the angel wings on the back. Just when I was happy to hate his mangled face, he had to go and do this.
"Daryl, what's that?" Angel asked. And when I didn't answer, "Are you okay?"
I held the only piece of my past that I needed back in my hands. Dwight stole it from me like he had taken everything else he could, except who I was. Not he or even Negan could ever take that from me. This was almost as important. It was stupid for feeling this attached to a piece of clothing, but this kutte, my angel wings vest was me. It was who I was…and I had it back.
"Daryl, you're scaring me. Babe, what is going on?"
"I'm okay I told her," but my voice cracked and told her I was lying. I never lied to Angel.
"No, you're not. Let's go back to the trailer and you tell me what this is all about."
Angel pulled on my arm, but I resisted. "What about my bike?"
"It's not like anyone's going to steal it. It's fine here for now, but you're not. When that man handed you this, your face went completely white, so we're going to the trailer and you are going to tell me what's going on. Okay?"
I felt like an idiot as we walked back the tin can we called home. But if anyone could understand it was Angel. I was hard to get, but she always got me.
I followed her into the hot trailer. It was always this way at this time of day. "What is that and who it is from, Daryl?"
All I could do was show her. I took the folded vest that I was holding against my chest and opened it up. It looked the exact same as the day I had it taken away from me, complete with the small cut from a knife over the left shoulder blade. I could thank a dead Savior for that.
Angel's eyes met mine and they filled with tears. "Is this your vest? The one that asshole took?"
My "yeah" came out hoarse and deep. It was all I could say.
"Put it on, Babe. It's yours again."
I slipped it on and it felt good. It felt like I was me again. The last piece of what made me…me was back. Angel's tears encouraged me to do the same. I couldn't help it. It was only a stupid piece of clothing, but it was mine. It was my last remnant of who I used to be. Not the man that followed his brother around doing shit that I never should have been involved in and not the guy that fucked drunk chicks in bathroom stalls, but the guy I was when it was just me. The dreams I had that I never told anyone about. The guy that wanted to do better but didn't know how. That's the guy I was in this vest.
My girl wrapped her arms around me and I pulled her close. I could get stupid over something as ridiculous as this and not have to worry. Why had it taken me so long to find someone like her? We stood like this for no longer than a minute. It was an emotional moment, but I was good.
"Let me see those wings," Angel said. "Turn around."
Now I felt stupid modeling the damn thing for her, but I turned around so she could see them. "What happened here?" I felt her fingers in the slit the knife had made.
"Some asshole tried to take me out. I just got cut a little."
"And him?" she asked.
I couldn't help the smirk that appeared on my face. "Dead."
Angel laughed, "I shouldn't have even asked. You okay now?"
"Yeah, thanks. Just was…unexpected." Fuck that Dwight for messing with my head when it comes to him.
"Wanna go up to the house and see how Maggie's doing? If Carol's still with her, I was thinking I should throw something together for everyone to eat. What do you think?"
I gave her a hug that ended with a kiss on her head. "Good idea. Let's see if the little brat's here yet. And I'm starving. Only had breakfast today, so food is definitely on my mind. C'mon lets go. I gotta move the bike, too."
My arm rested across her shoulders as we headed up toward the main house. I was surprised how comfortable I was doing this. I actually felt good. It felt normal and Angel and me are nothing like normal.
We got up to the bike and Angel turned to face me. She took the front edges of my vest in her hands and turned those damn purple eyes toward mine. "I'll go check on how things are going with Maggie. You park the bike and we'll meet in the kitchen, okay?"
"Yep."
"But…Daryl?"
Her tone told me something was up. "Yeah?"
"Later tonight…do you kinda think you could keep the vest on when we…"
Oh hell, no. "Nope. Not happening."
"Ah, c'mon. It'll be fun. You looking all hot in that bike vest and nothing else."
I was putting my foot down. No way, I knew I'd feel like an idiot. "Angel, I done everything you ever asked or wanted to try. I even let you tie me up, which was sumthin' I never thought I'd do, but I let you. There ain't no way I'm gonna wear my vest and nuthin' else. I'll feel like a damn fool. So, no I ain't gonna do it."
Great. Now she's giving me that sexy look that always gets me to say yes to anything. I ain't gonna fuck her wearing it like I belonged in the damned Village People. I moved back from her and swung my leg over the bike. "Nope. Get your freaky ass inside and check on Maggie. That's never gonna happen, so drop it."
I started up the engine before turning back to Angel. She had her hands on her hips, but I still shook my head no. Then she gave me the finger before heading up the steps into the mansion. She was a piece of work. That she was. I drove the bike the short distance back to our trailer and parked it. Slowly I headed back to Barrington House. Hopefully, Angel was still going to make sumthin' to eat. I was starving and if she refused me food because of the vest, I may need to reconsider. I was that hungry and that stupid crazy for her. Damn, I was going end up looking like a total idiot later. I just knew it. Fuck me.