Author's note: Last ch! I almost didn't believe it myself when I scrolled down to the bottom and saw that it was the end. Thank to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, and favorited. This has been my most successful story (so far) and honestly it wouldn't have been as great without everyone who read.

Oh yeah and thanks to MonkeyLovr, who came up with the idea for this story (actually I don't remember a single story that she didn't come up w).

Chapter 36

Emma watched as Ava fiddled with the duck, talking to it and making faces. Henry and Killian had gone to get snacks and drinks, something they couldn't get enough of. She didn't know what it was about carnival foods that were just so appealing.

"Here we are." Killian plunked three heaping plates of funnel cakes on the picnic table. "These are bloody foods of the gods, I swear."

"Great," Emma said as she dragged the closest plate towards her. "Did you guys bring back any drinks?"

A styrofoam cup was slid toward her. "Here." Henry said, almost shyly. Upon closer inspection, it was a cup of hot chocolate with...what else? Cinnamon.

"Thanks." She said as she took it, raising it to her lips.

"Henry made sure to specially order that for you." Killian said.

"Really?" Maybe he really was softening.

He nodded. "Want to go on the ferris wheel later?"

"That sounds lovely." Killian interjected in his typical fashion, before she could respond. "I'll take Ava to the teacups."

Emma had always loved ferris wheels. There was just something about being up high, above the world, where the issues that had troubled her weren't able to reach her.

However, it didn't help that her first kiss with Neal had been while they were stuck on a ferris wheel. He'd snuck them in somehow, and when the ride had creaked to a stop (what was it about ferris wheels and breaking down) and they'd just been talking when he'd planted on her.

It had been one of her favorite memories until the cops showed up to arrest her.

Emma snuck a look over at Henry; his expression was placid as he drummed his fingers on his leg. She hoped to God that this would not be another memory for the slot in her brain that was permanently on lockdown.

"Enjoying the ride, kid?"

"Yeah." He flashed her a half smile. "Never been up so high before."

"It's pretty great, isn't it? Unless you're scared."

"Nahh."

Ok, enough beating around the bush. "Listen," she started.

But at the same time he blurted out, "I'm sorry."

She looked at him with an amused smile. "Go ahead."

"I'm sorry." Henry repeated. "For, well you know…"

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because I was rude and you deserve that."

Killian. He must've spoken to Henry. Or maybe yelled at him. "Killian talked to you and told you to say this, didn't he?"

Henry didn't even try to deny it. "Yeah, he did. But he was right, Mom. I was being rude. And I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault you left. You lost your memories and-"

"I know what happened." She interrupted. "But why the sudden change of heart? Not that I'm not happy about it. Because I am. But why?"

"I missed you." He said. "A lot. And it's not going to help anything if I stay mad."

"Well, you have every right to be mad."

"I know. But I don't want to be. It's not going to help and it's just going to make anyone miserable."

"I'm sorry, though." She said. "Really. I know I shouldn't have left and stayed away for so long."

"I know. It's ok."

"No, it's not."

"You're right. But we have to move on, right?"

She reached over and squeezed him into a hug. "When did you become so mature?"

"Mom." He choked. "Too tight."

"Sorry."

Henry. Her son, her first kid. He reminded her of Neal so much, but at the same time not. He had a little bit of her, Regina, and Neal-all of their best qualities. "I love you, you nkow that?"

"Yeah. And I love you too."

To no one's surprise, Ava had fallen asleep in the car on the way home. Henry too. He looked so peaceful that Emma almost wanted to just let him sleep in the car, but she knew Regina would have her head if she did so.

So she dropped Henry off at Regina's. They could work out their custody of Henry thing again later. As she waved goodbye to a noticeably subdued Henry, she stifled a laugh as she realized that Regina would probably give her hell tomorrow about how much candy she'd allowed him to have. Oh well. It had been worth it.

Killian carried the giant duck under his arm while Emma lifted Ava out of her car seat, cradling her against her coat as they made their way into their apartment. The duck was set on the couch and Ava was tucked into her bed.

Both were so exhausted that they just settled wordlessly into bed, Emma pulling on an oversized t-shirt that she'd bought for Killian years ago, not long after Neverland. He'd worn it for a while before she'd claimed it as hers. It was her favorite, go to pajama option; in fact she'd worn it in Boston for a while before wondering where she'd obtained a shirt like that and thrown it into the back of her closet, thinking it had been Neal's or something.

She was glad she hadn't tossed it out.

As she let the soft bed envelop her tired muscles she felt Killian wrap an arm around her. "Today was a bloody good day." He murmured in her ear, his breath tickling her skin.

"Yes." She agreed. "The best in a long time."

And they drifted off to sleep, exhausted by all of the carnival fun. As she fell asleep, images of whirling around on the carousel with Ava, riding the ferris wheel three times with Henry, and cotton candy danced beneath her eyelids.

Bloody good day, indeed.

Her peace was broken several hours later, when she jolted awake. A moment later she realized why; coming from down the hall through the open door were loud cries.

Emma could feel Killian stirring next to her. Though he, being a deep sleeper, rarely used to wake up when Ava cried, he started to rub his eyes. She figured he'd developed this wakefulness when she'd left.

"It's Ava." He stated unnecessarily.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes I know."

"Want me to go?" He offered.

"No." Emma replied, pushing her feet into her slippers. "I got it." As she shuffled out of the room she was struck by a feeling of deja vu. The last time both of them had woken up at night and she'd left the room, leaving Killian behind was the night she was shot. The night that had ruined everything.

Pushing that thought out of her mind she slipped into Ava's room, where sure enough the little girl was sitting up, rubbing at her eyes.

"Hey, sweetie." She said softly. "What's wrong?" She sat down on the edge of the bed and turned on the bedside lamp.

Ava was crying too hard to respond, so Emma just rubbed her back in soothing circles and waited for her to calm down, which finally she did.

"Want to tell me about it?" She continued rubbing Ava's back, remembering that it was something she particularly liked. "You know the drill. It'll make you feel better."

Ava hiccuped. "Bad dream."

"Yes, I kind of figured that. What was it about?"

Ava toyed with her bear for a moment before responding. "You left."

Oh no. Emma's heart sank as she took in what Ava said. After their amazing day today, she'd assumed that Ava was over her abandonment. Clearly that was not the case.

"You left and didn't come back." Ava continued. "You said...you said...you didn't love me."

Ava's words felt like a crushing blow. "That dream again, I see." Emma sighed deeply. "Ava, I know I can never say this enough, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you and Daddy behind. I'm sorry for making you feel that I didn't love you. I'm sorry I missed your birthday and your first day of preschool. I know that nothing I ever do or say can make up for it. I mean, I really know because I went through the same thing.

"But that doesn't change the fact that I love you so much. You brought light into my life every single day after you were born and even when I didn't know who you were. I love you, Ava. And there will never be anyone or anything that will ever make me stop loving you."

There was only a short pause before Ava said, "I love you too Mommy."

Emma hugged her daughter close for a long moment. "Do you think you can go back to sleep now?"

Ava nodded, and Emma helped her lie back down before reaching up to turn off the light. "Good night."

There was a tug on her hand. Emma looked down to see Ava looking at her with an almost shy expression. "Stay with me?"

"Of course." Emma settled into the little bed next to Ava. "Go to sleep, princess. You'll need the energy to do whatever fun activity Daddy has planned for us tomorrow."

"Mmkay." Ava rolled over to face her mother and gradually her face grew serene once more.

Emma now knew that it hadn't been her fault. Well, not really. Once she'd gotten her memories back, a small part of her had known that it hadn't been her fault. It was that fucking bastard who'd set off the chain of events that culminated in everyone's misery. For his sake she was glad he was safely locked up in jail. Because between her, Killian, and David he surely wouldn't live for very much longer.

But just because it hadn't been her fault hadn't made it easier to accept that she'd missed out on part of Ava's life. Even if it was just several months. She'd promised never to miss a single moment of her daughter's life like how she'd never known what Henry was like for the first ten years. And there was no way to make up for it.

Except move on. That was all anyone could do. And she knew that they would be able to. They were all strong in their own little ways, stronger than anyone could ever imagine.

And in a small way she could thank the bastard. Because he'd given her the chance to realize that nothing could break their family apart. Even without her memories she'd (re)connected with Killian and Ava, (re)formed her family.

If they could survive that, they could survive anything.

Author's note: Ahhhh, I don't know what it is about this ending that makes me smile. I just love it so much. That's a little self centered, isn't it?

Anyway, let me know what you thought of it, and if you're interested, check out my other CS fanfic, Don't Complicate It. Or Unconditionally, which is a SQ one but not exactly...

Thanks for reading again!