A/N: Sorry for the gap in updates. Life is busy.

As soon as her eyes fluttered open Evan was hit by what day it was and what they had planned. In spite of herself she couldn't force hope away and she couldn't kill it when she got out of bed either, yawning and stretching. Carl woke up when she started moving and rolled over to the side, groaning. When she saw that his breathing had evened out again she silently headed towards the white dresser opposite the bed and pulled the top drawer open. From there she chose some underwear and a black t-shirt and from the drawer beneath she picked out a pair of jeans. They were male jeans, but the man who had worn them must have been skinny as a twig because they fit her reasonably well. At least well enough that they didn't risk falling down if she had to run.

With the clothes in her hands she moved away from the light piece of furniture and aimed for the door instead. They had opted against boarding up the windows this time so it wasn't dark when she entered the hallway. She didn't hear any noise coming from the other two rooms that served as bedrooms, so she simply assumed that no one else had gotten up yet. Evan pushed open the door to the bathroom and stepped in. She had already decided against showering and the decision was reinforced when she tugged off the large shirt and pants she was sleeping in and felt a shiver run up her spine. They did keep a fire lit all day, but they had to let it die in the evening and so when they woke up it was always chilly in the house. Not really the kind of environment that makes you long for a freezing shower. Once she had used the toilet and washed her hands, she pulled on the fresh clothes and then tied her hair back with a hairband. She studied her features in the mirror and both liked and hated what she saw.

She hated how the girl in the mirror looked emotionless, as if she didn't feel anything at all anymore. Evan knew it was because of the walls she'd built up. And at the same time she loved the girl in the mirror just because she looked like a blank piece of paper; not even a trace of an emotion. She cursed her feelings more than once a day and it almost drove her insane the way she'd flicker from not caring at all, about anything or anyone, and wanting to give up because everything was pointless, and then to caring so much for her small group that she'd walk straight through the entire country if she had to as long as they were safe. With a sigh of frustration she turned away from the reflection and re-entered the hall. At the same time as she headed towards the kitchen she ran into Daryl.

"Are you ready?" he asked instead of the usual good morning that she'd have gotten from Dale or Carol.

"I am," she confirmed. "I'll just grab something to eat and then we can go."

He stopped then, realizing it was pointless to follow her to the kitchen. "I'll be in the truck."

The day before they'd stuffed the sign they'd made as well as a box of water and food in it, all ready for departure. Evan didn't want to waste time – she wanted to get to the house as soon as possible. In the kitchen she grabbed one of the cans of peaches they'd opened the night before and with a pencil she scribbled down a note on a crumbled piece of paper for the others. When she passed the door to the dining room, now Dale's bedroom, she did knock on the door however and stuck her head in.

"Hey, we're leaving. Keep watch?"

"Ah, yes," he replied groggily.

She didn't wait for anything else, but closed the door again and headed out. The trucks were both parked aimed away from the house and towards the dirt road that led down to the main road. They had been parked next to each other, so that it didn't matter which one you picked, you could just get in, turn the key, and head off if there was need for it. Carl had wondered how they'd open and close the gate if they were in a hurry but Daryl barked at him that if they were in danger they'd just floor it and crash straight through it.

The sun had barely appeared over the horizon when she walked through the grass and towards the running truck where Daryl was waiting. Before leaving the house behind she'd grabbed the revolver that was now hers, and a box of extra ammo. She knew that Daryl had his crossbow as well as the new set of arrows he'd found in town. Dale would have the rifle and a handgun too, if need be and even Carol had a gun. They did have one more tucked away in the green truck and everyone had been given their own silent weapon. She noticed her hand shivering slightly when she reached for the door and pulled it open; Evan was scared. And nervous. Now that enough time had passed they'd be able to look through some of the remains, at least if it was safe enough, and there was a strong possibility they'd encounter a charred body in there. If they did though, they wouldn't be able to know who it was. It could be Glenn. It could be Rick. Or it could be a stranger for all they knew.

"Everything alright?" Daryl asked when Evan let out a sigh.

"Yep," she confirmed shortly.

He didn't need to know anything more and pushed down on the gas pedal. They only stopped for a second when they came to the gate, so that Evan could dash out and open it, and then they continued on their way once it was firmly shut and secure.

The ride was silent, as it so often were when Evan and Daryl spent time together, but neither really minded it. They knew what they were doing, where they were heading, and why. Analyzing it or discussing it was unnecessary. And with the way Evan's heart was trying to break through her chest there was no way she'd be able to talk about something else. Time after time she reminded herself how slim the chances were that this would ever bear fruit, but she couldn't force the thoughts away. It felt, to her, like she hadn't seen Rick's face in months, when that wasn't the reality at all. It had been days though, and that was enough. She wondered how she would handle it if she found out she'd never see his face again. But then she forced those thoughts away as well and let out an exasperated sigh. Daryl threw her a glance but didn't react more than that. Evan closed her eyes and tried to think about other things. About how lucky they were to have found somewhere to hide over the winter. But she dreaded the future. She dreaded spring. Even if they hadn't seen a single sign of Glenn or Rick they would leave once spring came. At least that was the plan. Though Evan wasn't sure she wanted to anymore. Their newfound home should be good enough to house them come spring and summer too. Maybe even longer than that. Granted nothing else went to hell and no one else set fire to the house.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind and she mentally kicked herself for never thinking it before. If someone had indeed set fire to their previous house and led the walkers there with the intention of killing them (there really couldn't be another reason behind it) then why wasn't it possible that the person (or persons) had decided to kill any survivors that they could? What if Rick and Glenn had managed to survive the fire, and Lori getting attacked and bitten, only to be shot and killed by the arsonist? Evan felt bile climb up through the back of her throat and she swallowed forcefully.

"What are you thinking?" Daryl asked suddenly, shattering the silence, and Evan wondered if it had been her facial expression that caused him to do it.

"If someone set fire to the house to kill us, maybe they also killed Rick and Glenn. If they made it out of the house at all."

He seemed to think about it for a second. "I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Because no one would be stupid enough to stay that close to the house after the herd of walkers approached it," he said matter of factly. He shifted a little in his seat and moved his hands on the steering wheel slightly.

"I guess that's true," she admitted.

"Evan, no one could control those walkers. No one. Like I've said before; they weren't someone pet dogs they released on us. If someone did that, then they probably made a lot of noise and drove in our direction and then headed out of there faster than the light." He smiled at her. "Anything else would be idiotic."

"So are we saying that we think whoever did that is a genius?" she shot at him, grinning now. She hadn't thought it was possible, but the tone had gone from harsh to soft.

"Probably not. A genius would have succeeded. Far as we know there was only one person who didn't make it."

Lori's face as a walker whirled into Evan's consciousness and she looked out the window to try and force it away. "One. Or three."

"Don't tell me you've given up too."

"I don't know." She shrugged, glancing back towards him. "Maybe it would be for the best to accept that there's no hope to find them alive."

"Or maybe that would be the same as deciding to just sit down and wait for death."

Silence wrapped around them again. Soft had gone to harsh again.

"Listen, Evan, to me it doesn't mean giving up." He sighed and held onto the steering wheel a little tighter. "If I accept that we're not going to find them it'd feel like it was a shame. I liked Rick, and I liked Glenn. But I would be okay with continuing without them. I'd still have a will to fight. But Carl… if he decides to accept that we're never going to find his dad then that would break him. He needs to hold on to hope because it's all he has left now that his mother's gone. And you…" There was a brief pause, and Evan waited breathlessly for his continuation. "It would break you too, because you're that attached to him. I don't care if you just like him or love him – you're attached to him. He means something to you. And if you decided that there was no hope in finding them, I don't think you'd have much hope left for anything else either. Or am I wrong?"

She bit her bottom lip sharply. "You're not wrong."

"Then cut it out and keep the faith."

"Yes, sir," she said, half-serious and half-mockingly.

Her legs were shaking so badly when they stepped out of the car that she had to hold on to the door to stop herself from falling. When the farm had come into view Evan had been dangerously close to asking Daryl to take care of everything on his own, but she didn't want that. For some reason it was very important that she was the one who left the sign out there.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "Do you mind dealing with Lori?"

He nodded and pointed towards the left, where a stray walker was approaching. Evan released the car door and told him she had it. She allowed the gun to stay put in the hem of her jeans, and instead reached for the axe that rested in the back seat. Then, with determined steps, she advanced on the walker, fingers gripping the weapon so tightly she thought the wood might break. When it came within her reach she raised the axe and allowed it to sink into the walker's skull violently, blood gushing out of the wound. But it fell to the ground and she pulled the axe back, wrinkling her nose at the sight of brain substance stuck on the blade. She wiped it in the grass swiftly before heading back towards the house. They'd decided to leave the sign pretty much where the front porch had been. In case the others came back, she wanted it to be easy to be found.

She returned to the car, looking carefully in every direction every few steps, and leaned in a second time to grab the sign. The scent of a burning fire reached her nostrils then and she knew exactly why. She shuddered but didn't stop, leaving the car again and heading towards the porch. She set it down in the grass, leaning it against the rubble, her entire being praying that it would be enough. After that she stepped away, going to retrieve the box of supplies from the truck as well, and then placing it gently next to the sign. That was it. It was all they could do. After closer inspecting the burnt down house she realized that there'd be no point in even attempting to search for anything in it. The only thing they'd succeed with would be to get soot all over their clothes and possibly getting crushed by something or other.

When she had done her part she decided to stay by the car, eyes peeled and axe ready, and wait for Daryl to finish. She didn't have to hang around for very long and soon she saw him returning to the truck. He glanced sideways towards the porch but then returned his focus to his goal. They didn't speak when they climbed back into the car, or when they pulled away. They turned to avoid a single walker but didn't bother killing it. It wouldn't have any urges to eat the food they'd left and it definitely couldn't read so it wasn't going to follow them for 25 miles. It was no threat to them. For the first few miles they drove in peace, with their breathing and the roaring engine being the only sources of sound. Evan's eyes followed the trees outside, studying the scenery, and glancing up towards the sun that was still high in the sky every now and again too. All she wanted in that moment was to get back to the house, tell the others that they were done, and then take a cold shower. Originally she had planned to search the surrounding woods too, but realized that it was pointless. If Rick and Glenn were okay enough to get into the woods, they would have walked too far by then for Evan and Daryl to have the slightest chance in finding them. And if they had been very injured, so injured they couldn't get far, then they'd be dead. Evan couldn't handle finding that, at least not yet. She let out a sigh and leaned her head against the window, eyes darting quickly from tree to tree.

Then her heart froze.

"Stop the fucking car!"