05/11/10
Dear Hunter,
Today was Lauren Mallory's birthday. So Jasper, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Alice and me decided to give her an awesome present! First, we know that Lauren arrives at school at about 7:30 in the morning so Edward and Jasper hired 8 male strippers to be at the school by 7:00. We gave them a picture of Lauren and told them to strip for her. It caused quite a pile-up of female students. I think one of the cafeteria ladies even stood by to watch. Then we wanted to get revenge because Lauren was always thinking dirty thoughts about Edward, me, Jasper and sometimes even Carlisle which is too gross for words. So Edward distracted Lauren by flirting with her (which Bella wasn't too happy about) and I replaced her coffee with mouthwash and Jasper put food-coloring so it would look like coffee. Then we videotaped her reaction and put it on youtube.
That was the best birthday bash ever!
Yours,
Emmett