It had been a long, long night.
Bakura the rose was sitting criss cross applesauce on his king sized bed filled with all his favorite things! Steak, an assortment of dildos, framed photographs of himself engraved in pure gold... but something was missing. The rod. Marik didn't come home last night.
He had stayed awake just to wait for him too and was even careful not to drip any steaksauce on the bed! That mindslave was very, very frustrated and not just emotionally. "GRRR!" Bakura said with a little pout and slammed his delicate hands down on the table(bedsheets). Do not worry about him injuring himself though because it was very soft, cozy fabric. He huffed and pouted even more as he waddled his way on to the kitchen to make more food to eat. The rod was nowhere in sight. He didn't come in there for that but its the priority at all times.
"Where could Marik possibly be?" Bakura asked out loud. Ring a ding a ling here comes the phone! The beautiful bunny boy picked it up in a flash. Quicker than he could say 'Rod!?', a voice came out of those speakers. "If I were you, I'd check the desert" the voice said. It was low and doctorly.
"What?" Bakura asked with little question marks coming off of him (he really wished he was just coming but you don't always get what you want and you need to remember that). But that was all there was and the mysterious doctorly voice had hanged up the phone and all that was left was the beepy. The rose was a little confused to say the least but he thought that maybe in the desert the rod would await him.
"Gimme rod gimme rod gimme gimme" he sang and sang to himself in his "beautiful" voice as walked out the door and started on his way to the desert. Minutes passed, and soon the minutes turned to hours. Sand was blowing at least 100mph, it was a sandstorm beyong your wildest dreams. "Marik?" Bakura called out, but no rod reply came. What the fucking shit was going on here? The bunny boy did not think it was possible to be this hungry and this thirsty at the same time. Desire. Just when he was ready to give up hope, in the distance he is seeing it! A figure! Something other than sand! A huge, massive-
What?
"Marik?" Bakura asked again.
And again, no reply followed. The rod was up there - eyes closed, mouth loosely hanging open, hands and feet stuck through with nails that hang him up on the cross like a painting to display.
On his head was a crown of thorns.
Bakura felt a wetness on his cheeks and he reached up to touch it. "This-" Bakura said, moving his hands to his mouth to keep a choked sob from escaping. "-isn't funny, this really, really, isn't funny." His voice, slightly muffled but still within hearing, was cracking in two. When the Rod did not respond for a third time, Bakura dropped to his knees and not for the usual business if you know what I mean. "GET DOWN! WAKE UP! I WANT YOU TO WAKE UP" Bakura wailed like a baby up at the crucified Rod Man and stomped his feet a little bit too, but all was still in the desert except for the steady drip of tears down Bakura's cheeks and the sand whipping around them.
The Rod Man was dead, not sleeping. He couldn't wake up - not now, not ever.
(You see, Marik was no mindslave.)
Bakura the beauty rose was feeling more than a little upset. His entire body was slumped over and he felt sore, kind of like the morning after he got the rod-
No.
Don't think about it.
Instead he made his way to the Ishtar Household (could he even call it that anymore?) but once he reached out for the door, he stopped. "Oh no..." he whispered to the wind. Who was going to have to break the news to Gregory Goodwin Pincus? Jaden Yuki didn't even know yet, so Bakura decided with a heavy heart that it would have to be him. Without the Rod Man it seemed to take so long to get places, he kinda had little legs. But with the power of-
He made it to Gregory's house and rang the doorbell. After a few seconds Good Ol Pinc ghosted his way out. "Bakura! Good to see you ol' chap! How can I help you?" Pinc smiled warmly, unaware of the tragedy that had befallen.
"Oh jeez um... good to see you too, Gregory..." Bakura said and scratched his bunny ears in distress. This was not going to be easy. "Is something wrong, Bakura?" Pincus asked. Bakura looked to the floor dejectedly and nodded. It was more than wrong actually, his whole world just got flip flopped upside down. He wasn't used to feeling so bad about someone dying. Normally it was a time for celebration but now...
"Can I come in?" Bakura asked but he was already hopping his way through the front door and sitting on the inventor mans comfy white couch made of heavens finest clouds. He lived up there but don't worry because Bakura was not dead and only visiting! "Erm... take a seat?" Gregory said sarcastically. "Sit with me, Gregory. I have got some bad news" Bakura said, patting the fluffy cloud beside him. Gregory put up his index finger into the air. "Hang on a moment, let me go make us some tea."
Then he ghosted his way into his heavenly kitchen that was also all made of fluffy white heaven cloud. To make his cup of tea Gregory Goodwin Pincus first knew very well that he had to boil the water! He got out his best tea making pot and poured the water right inside and brought it to a good boil on the cloud stove.
After it was boiling, he pre heated two teacups to prevent the steeping water from dropping in temperature as it is poured inside! He put just a little bit of boiling water to the two cups. (Ceramic and porcelain retains heat the bestest, kids. Remember my words and heed my warnings.) He allowed the water to be inside of his precious kitchenwares until it was warm in his ghost hand but when it was done it was time to get it out of there! He poured it out into his cloud sink immediately.
Gregory smiled. It was time. He ghosted over to his teabags and plopped the teabags right on inside. Once finished, he added the hot water to the mix and his tea was really cookin' now! Gregory's nostrils flared. It smelled so delicious. But he couldn't feast yet! He had to let the tea steep. It was the hardest step of all for that ghost man. With a sigh and a heavy heart, he covered his tea with a cozy to prevent temptation and waited 2-3 minutes staring at the cozy, unblinking eyes fixated on the prize. Desire was inside of them.
But at long last, the tea was ready! Patience makes perfect. He took the two tea cups and put them on a little platter! He ghosted back into the living room to deliver the goods. "Marik is dead" Bakura announced. Gregory dropped the platter to the floor, shattering it and the little cups instantly.
The tea had been spilled.
(Much like Marik's blood had been on the desert floor.)
It was silent. Neither one spoke after that, letting the news sink in. "...Stop joshing around, Bakura. You know that's not funny." Gregory sat down on the couch and laughed nervously, running a ghostly hand through the hairs on his balding head. "You're funny, real funny! Hahaha. Now tell me why you actually came." Bakura stared at Gregory, eyes glassy and face cold.
Gregory kept laughing and laughing and also looking at Bakura for validation that it really was all a cruel prank, but nothing came of it. It was quiet again. "How did it happen?" Greggy finally asked it. Bakura looked away, it hurt too much to look at the seriously in pain expression of creator of birth control Gregory Goodwin Pincus. "It was really bad. He..." The image of the Rod Guy's strong muscular arms and strong muscular legs nailed to a huge cross with blood dripping dripping dripping down popped into Bakura's mind and he couldn't finish the sentance. Instead he just shook his bunny ears, still avoiding the Pinc's watchful eyes. (Watchful like God? If he really was watching, why didn't he stop it?)
"It doesn't matter. He's gone. I'm sorry." Tears were bubbling and then falling for Pincus, and he was choking, choking choking. I can't see. "He...he was my friend. My best friend, he can't be gone. He can't-" Gregory Goodwin Pincus was taking it worst of all. Bunny boy didn't know what to do, he was bad at a lot of things and that includes cheering people up. He tried to put a hand on Grego's shoulder but he shook it off.
Pincus leaped off the couch and out the door to the rest of heaven's pearly kingdom but then fell to his knees. "Why?" Gregory Goodwin Pincus lifted up his head and screamed to the heavens before him. "Why God? Why did you take him from us?!" But no answer came.
Bakura waddled out and sat beside him. "There isn't a God, Pincus. That's what I decided and I think what I always knew. If there was a god, he'd still be here" he said to the sobbing inventist. Greg Pinc was really throwing a big fit this time. After hearing Bakura renounce his faith, his body was thrashing all around on the cloudy floor and flailing his limbs in all sorts of directions.
Eventually, after a temper tantrum as long and hard as-
Shit.
Much like god, there was no rod anymore either.
But anyways, Pincus was calming down from his temper tantrum and was panting heavily and breathing out mathematic algorithems. "What is 2+2?" Bakura asked. Gregory Goodwin Pincus sighed. "Useless" he said and got back up to return to his cloud house. "USELESS." he said louder this time and got out all of his math and science books and brought them all into a huge, gigantic pile outside his cloud home. He covered them with every last drop of tea he had. "Woah that is a lot of tea" Bakura said. "God is dead" Gregory Goodwin Pincus said and lit the fire.
The two of them stood there, shoulder to shoulder, watching the death of math until there was nothing but black singe marks on the clouds. "I need your help with something, Gwegowy..." Bakura whispered. "Old chap, I'll do anything" Pinc said back.
When Bakura told him he needed assistance, not in a zillion years (thats a lot, Pincus is an inventists and knows many numbers) did that ghost think it was going to be this. All the Rod Friends were gathered around the cross, speechless and in mourning. That Jaden Yuki's backwards b-ball hat had even come off. They all knew that they had to do.
"HEAAAAAVEEEEE! HOOOOOO! HEAAAAAVVVEEEEE! HOOOOOO!" Chris Evans said through his loud hysteric sobbing and all together the Rod Friends picked up the cross and put it onto their shoulders. Seperated, they are weak, but together? Together they are as strong as the strongest rod man that ever lived. (Rod Guy, also known by many as Marik Ishtar.) And with that strength, the gigantic cross is lowered, lowered, and lowered some more down onto the ground.
It is Chris Evans who carefully removes the nail from his right hand, and Policeman Jim who removes the one on the left. After those are gone, Aster Pheonix removes the right foot nail, and Francis takes off the left.
But Bakura? Bakura, the most treasured mindslave of all, it is him who takes off the crown of thorns. After it is off, he kisses his forehead, tears softly falling and wetting his skin.
Spot wraps his bestest friend up in the finest white linen that he could get his paws on and then lowered his head. Slowly, all of those present followed suit and soon all rod friend heads were lowered in silence. "Its time" Chris Evans said and in unison, they all lifted his large and muscular body up and heave ho'd and heave ho'd and heave ho'd some more the whole way to the cave. "Rest in peace, Rod Guy..." the rod friends said together and put him down on the stone slab. "I will always love you too" Bakura said and walked out of the entrance and into the rain.
If anyone present still had any faith in God, they would have said that he was crying for him.