Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.

Challenges listed at the bottom.

Word Count - 305

AN - This is insane. Crack!fic. Also Sam's fault. So. Happy reading?

Avoiding The Crazy

Percival watched with wide eyes as Newt took the mundane looking suitcase from the guard with gentle hands. He—there was no other word for it—caressed the shell of the case, checking for damage and scowled deeply at the guard as he turned away.

He looked genuinely angry, though Percival couldn't quite work out why. Sure, he knew that Newt kept his creatures in the case, but surely there was magic in place that stopped them from being disturbed or hurt when the suitcase was moved?

The almost lazy way that Newt ran his hands over the leather looked strangely intimate, and Percival shuffled slightly, feeling like he was intruding on a private moment.

Which was ridiculous. Because that was a man and a suitcase. Except perhaps not so much because then Newt spoke and Percival was quite sure his jaw would have dropped open if he didn't have excellent control on his facial expressions.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Newt whispered to the case. "I'll clean you up properly when we get home."

Percival blinked. "Is everything okay, Mr Scamander?" he asked, his head tilted to the side slightly.

"We're fine," Newt replied absently, holding the suitcase to his chest. "Be glad to get home though. Thank you for the escort, Sir."

Nodding, Percival offered his hand, and the two of them shook hands briefly. He'd thought to ask Newt out to dinner, before the man returned to England, but now he was thinking that perhaps it was best that he'd avoided that crazy.

He'd had plenty of crazy to deal with in the last few months. He certainly didn't need any more, not for a while at least.

He watched as Newt walked away, cradling the case, and whispering what Percival could only assume were sweet nothings… to a suitcase.

Yes, definitely best to avoid that.

Written for;

Auction - Newt/Suitcase

Fair - Symbol, 6. Rainbow: Suitcase / Animal, 8. Lion: Lazy

365 - 129. Mundane

1000 - 65. Newt Scamander