Chapter 35 – Separation
Eight weeks along, and still no bump, her abs were as defined and sexy as ever. Her maternity leave coupled with the decision to stay in Davenport left her with something she'd never had before: time in super-abundance. Her first week home she'd already given the nest a floor-to-ceiling cleaning, decided which guest room would become the baby's room, cooked and frozen two weeks worth of meals, and walked Paulie so much she swore the dog was sick of the activity. She visited with Marek, the only person she knew in the area, every day at the school, and made daily phone calls to her parents, Seth, Raven, Renee, Ginger, and Bayley. Of those, only Renee could chat forever, as she was in the same boat, pregnant and home alone. Kimber took a lot of comfort in her calls, and it was clear Renee did as well.
Being away from her guy was even harder than she'd thought it would be. Her first night alone, she'd been unable to sleep. Seth's pillow was a poor substitute, and Kimber hated herself for having changed the bedding before leaving for Chicago, because his scent would have been of some comfort. She'd tossed and turned all night, and the next day she'd plunged into every closet in the house in search of some item that may have not been washed. In the entry hall closet, she'd finally found a light dress coat that still bore his scent, and took it back to bed with her. She'd cried herself to sleep, and because she was sleeping, she'd missed his morning call. Worst hump day ever.
She cried herself to sleep every night, hugging Seth's coat. She didn't think it was possible to miss someone so much. They talked several times a day of course, but it only seemed to make her heart ache even worse, because the call would have to come to an end. She never let Seth hear her cry, but she always cried afterwards, no matter where she was. So far, she'd cried in her car at the post office, at Walmart, at the grocery store, at home, while walking Paulie, and in front of Marek. She didn't seem to have any control over her emotions at all. As one who'd always risen above whatever was hurting her, be it physical or mental, that lack of control bothered her.
She told Renee about it, who said it was normal. She was full of pregnancy hormones, after all. Even had she not been pregnant, the separation from Seth would have been hard on her, because not only were they engaged, they'd spent the majority of their time together since she'd moved on to the main roster. Kimber knew she was right, and began trying a little harder to rise above the sadness. Renee also told her there was nothing wrong with finding comfort in sleeping with Seth's coat; she herself slept with a teddy bear she sprayed with Dean's cologne.
"One good thing about being pregnant is we don't have to do the European tour," Renee said on Monday afternoon.
"Right? Twenty-one shows in eleven days, fuck that," Kimber replied, and laughed, then sobered. "The time difference is going to make it hard to stay in touch with Seth."
"That's true. Hey, why don't you come out here for a visit while the guys are gone on tour?" Renee asked brightly.
"I would love that. I'll book my flight today!" She had missed hanging out with Renee since she'd gone on maternity leave, and they both needed someone to dull the lonely feelings.
While she was booking her flight, the doorbell rang. Paulie beat her to the door, yipping and snarling, and Kimber looked through the decorative glass to see it was Brenda, travel tumbler in hand. She opened the door. "Hi, Brenda, come on in. Paulie, down."
"Oh, that's okay, Kimber dear, how are you feeling? Hey, Paulie!" Brenda patted the very excited dog on the head, and he ran off to fetch a favorite toy.
"I'm feeling pretty good, except for the morning sickness. And, I'm peeing more, which is a little...inconvenient. But other than that, I really can't complain. I'm making travel plans to visit my friend Renee while her husband and Seth are in Europe. She's pregnant, too, due October third."
"Oh yes, Dean's wife. I've never met her, but I've seen her on TV and at the shows." She handed Kimber the travel tumbler. "I made you a chocolate malt. I loved them when I was pregnant with Seth. Extra malt, extra chocolate syrup, made with frozen custard, not ice cream."
Kimber took a sip. "Mmmmm, this is sinful! Is there a such thing as an acquired craving in pregnancy?"
They shared a laugh. "Now, dear, if there's ever anything you need help with, or you just want someone to talk to or go to dinner with, please give Joe or me a call. I know it's probably been hard being away from your friends and family. Seth told me you were born in Illinois, but lived the last few years in California."
"Yup. I moved to Milwaukee when I was nineteen, to help with RCCW, and that was my home base until I visited Arcata. I just got this overwhelming feeling of being home. But now, I feel it here." She took another swallow of the delicious malt that was going to destroy her hot body, but who cared, and opened her arms wide, and spun around in the kitchen. "I'm so happy. I love it here."
"Let's see if you still say that when winter comes," Brenda teased.
"Oh yeah, it's been quite a few years since I've had to deal with a Midwestern winter. Certainly haven't missed 'em. Even when I was living here, I tried to get away for as much of winter as I could. But, with these monthly doctor appointments, I don't think I'll be able to avoid this one." Kimber sat down at the kitchen table.
So did Brenda. "Who's your doctor, dear?"
"Dr. Mary Sportiello. She's been great so far. I'm really looking forward to the next appointment, because we'll get to hear the heartbeat." Her hands automatically went to her flat stomach. She couldn't believe there had really been a time that she'd wanted to have an abortion. "Seth's going to try to record it on his phone, so we can have it as a keepsake, and share it with you guys and my folks." The mere mention of Seth made her lower lip tremble, and she bit it. Would she ever stop missing him?
His mother didn't miss the fact she was close to tears, and got up to give the young woman a hug. "There, there, dearie. I know you miss him, but it's not good for the baby for you to be all upset."
Kimber nodded. "I know. I try so hard to stay busy and keep my mind off it, I call my friends and family, I help out at the school, but Marek won't let me in the ring, so I'm relegated to doing paperwork in the office. Ever since I was nineteen, wrestling has been my life, it was what I was born to do, and even though I've accepted that I can't do it for awhile, I can still train people."
"Yes, but maybe you shouldn't right now. Even that can be dangerous. You plan to go back on the road after you're a mother?"
"As soon as I'm ring-ready. Seth's promised to help me train, so I can get back as soon as possible." Kimber finished off the malt and went to wash the cup. Brenda, although she meant well, was starting to irritate her the way only a mother-in-law could.
And, the older woman sensed this, and changed the subject. "Have you started making any wedding plans?"
"Not yet. I don't know if I can handle pregnancy and wedding planning at the same time. Maybe we'll just elope the next time we're in Vegas. We never sat down and talked about it, so I don't know what he's got in mind." Kimber dried the tumbler, and set in back on the table, hoping Brenda would take the hint to leave. "Thank you for the malt."
"I think you should talk to him about it. Planning the wedding will give you something to do besides putting yourself in harm's way over at that school."
Kimber visibly bristled, and had to close her eyes and take a deep breath. "I don't put myself in harm's way, I told you, Marek hardly lets me into the training room. I haven't wrestled since my test was positive."
"Kimber dear, I just think you need to be more careful. I follow you online, and read your post about your workout, and I was shocked. You should be taking it easy."
"My doctor," she replied tightly, as she balled her hands into frustrated fists beneath the table, "approved my workout plans. I wouldn't go against her orders, or do anything that would put our baby at risk. It's better for me to be getting exercise rather than sitting around doing nothing because when it comes time to have the baby, my body will be able to handle labor better. It helps me relax, it helps me sleep, and distracts me from how much I miss Seth! Damn it!" Kimber pounded the table with one fist before burying her face in her hands and going off on yet another crying jag.
Brenda went into the closest bathroom and brought her a box of Kleenex. Furious Kimber tore out a handful and wiped her face. "I'm sorry... Renee says it's the hormones from the pregnancy."
"Of course, dear." Her future mother-in-law patted her back. "I'm sorry if I said anything that may have upset you."
"It's practically impossible not to upset me these days," Kimber admitted. "I miss Seth so much it literally hurts. I feel like I'm missing at least half of myself. From the night I debuted on the main roster, we were together constantly. Though we met due to very unfortunate circumstances, it ended up being the greatest night of my life, because it was the night he came into it. Even before we got into a relationship, we shared a special bond, a special closeness and comfort with each other." She didn't know why she was telling all of this to Seth's mother, but to talk it out was calming her down.
"You and my son are a lot alike," Brenda said, as she continued to rub Kimber's shoulders.
She nodded. "Some people in the industry referred to me as a female version of him, but they were just citing the ring work and character." She giggled a little. "I did cosplay as him in the Shield for a few gimmick matches when I was still working the indies."
Brenda chuckled. "Yes, he mentioned that."
"It was Raven's favorite gimmick, she was, and still is, obsessed with the Shield. We did others, too. Taker and Kane, Lesnar and Heyman, The Hardy Boyz, and even Hulk and Macho Man once. My favorite gimmick was the Hardy Boyz, I was Jeff, because I had the tattoos and rainbow hair. WWE won't let me have rainbow hair. My original gimmick with them was supposed to be a sex goddess, but Seth helped me get a match working with Matt Hardy, and they realized I was a better fit as something like I'd always been. Let me change my ring attire and all."
"You love wrestling, just like my son. No wonder you yearn to be doing it so badly."
"Yes. Once I started training, I realized it was what I was born to do. I love what I do, and I love your son. I'm not a woman of faith, but I'm starting to think that maybe everything happens for a reason. I don't know how much he's told you, but I was literally dependent on him for my basic needs when we first met. I was hazed really bad by the other women, and they stole my purse. No phone, no ID, no money, no credit cards, I couldn't even see very far because they took my glasses, too. I had never been in that position before, and I was so very lucky he was the one who came upon me first. I think we started falling in love before we even began to date. Even though I was going through hell before every show, having him there before and afterwards gave it the gleam of a fairy tale. He was my Prince Charming, my Link, my knight in shining armor."
"And when we got pregnant, it was definitely meant to happen. I mean, I had an IUD that had a failure rate of point eight percent, and got pregnant. It was meant to be."
"I think so, too. My son is a very lucky man to have found you. It's so touching how much you two love each other that it makes me want to cry. When he proposed to you last week, I did cry."
"So did I. I had no idea he was going to do it until he got down on bended knee. I didn't even know he was going to come out during my promo. When he did, I thought he'd just come out to announce the pregnancy with me, because he'd told the whole RAW team two weeks before that, so surprised it didn't leak into the media before we got to announce it. But, damn, I just was so excited and happy when he knelt down that I'm surprised I didn't pee my pants. If we'd waited until this week to do it, I probably would have. I know that John proposed to Nikki on a much grander stage, but I think Seth did it better. And, I'm not just saying that because it was my special moment."
"Women in the audience were crying. It was something special. It was very obvious throughout the entire segment that you and Seth love each other very much."
"That's why being apart from him makes me so sad. It really did help to talk about it, though. Thank you, Brenda."
Brenda hugged her. "Always, Kimber dear. Anytime you need to talk, give me a call."
"Thanks, I will."
Brenda left, and Kimber finished booking her flights, and reserving her rental car, so Renee wouldn't have to go through the trouble of picking her up, or doing all the driving. She was really looking forward to the trip, in two weeks time, so close to Renee's due date. She couldn't believe WWE was forcing Dean to go to Europe so close to the birth of his first child, but they assured him that if she called when she first started feeling labor pains, it was likely he could fly there in time for the birth. Kimber doubted that, and hoped Renee wouldn't go into labor early, because she'd be the one there, getting a crash course in what she'd be doing that spring, and not Dean. She also hoped they would let Seth have some time off around her due date, so there would be no question that he'd be there when she went into labor. At least the schedule didn't call for them to be abroad around that time, the last out of the country dates before her due date were the week after Wrestlemania, in South America.
She wondered if she should watch RAW, just to see and hear Seth, or would she only get upset again? She had a few hours left to decide, so she slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed Paulie's leash and a few plastic bags. She clipped the leash to the dog's harness while he relaxed in his bed, and he looked up at her as if to say Really, lady? Let sleeping dogs lie!