Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.

Enter Luke and Han, on Life Day.

Luke and Han open presents, such as sweaters and sweetcakes from Jaina.

Luke opens another present: an RZ-1 A-wing interceptor.

Luke. I don't believe it.

Han. Who sent it to you?

Luke. Look and see if there's a card.

Han searches for a card.

Han. Nothing. Minions of Xendor! Who would spend that much on you?

Luke. Well, I'm betting it wasn't the Larses.

Han. I bet it was Yoda. He sent you the cloaking device anonymously.

Luke. That was my father's. Yoda was just passing it on to me. He wouldn't spend hundreds of credits on me. He can't go and give students stuff like this.

Han. Yeah. Di'kuts like Marek would say it was favoritism. [grins] Luke. Marek! Wait until he sees you on this. He'll be sick as a shaak. This is an intergalactic standard interceptor.

Luke. I can't believe this. Who . . . ?

Han. I know who it could have been: Jinn.

Luke. Jinn? Listen: If he had this many credits, he'd be able to buy himself some new robes.

Han. Yeah. But he likes you. And he was away when your X-wing got smashed. He might have heard about it and decided to visit Mos Eisley . . .

Luke. What do you mean, away? He was ill.

Han. Well, he wasn't in the medcenter. I was there, cleaning out bedpans on that detention from Vader, remember?

Luke. I can't see Jinn's affording something like this.

Enter Leia and Anji.

Leia. What are you two laughing about?

Han. Don't bring her in here.

Leia. [sees A-wing] O! Luke. Who sent you that?

Luke. No idea. There wasn't a card or anything with it.

Leia's eyes grow alert with suspicion.

Han. What's the matter with you?

Leia. I don't know. But it's a bit odd, isn't it? I mean, this is supposed to be quite a good ship, isn't it?

Han. It's the best ship there is, Leia.

Leia. So it must have been really expensive . . .

Han. More than all of the Kuns' XJX-wings put together.

Leia. Well, who would send Luke something as expensive as that and not even leave a note?

Han. Who cares? Luke. Can I have a go on it? Can I?

Leia. I don't think anyone should fly that interceptor.

Anji leaps at Viceroy.

Han. Get her out of here!

Han pulls Viceroy away from the nexu, who he kicks.

Enter Viper Probot, which begins to whir.

Luke pulls the probe droid out of Uncle Owen's socks.

Luke. I forgot about this. I never wear these if I can help it.

Han. You'd better take that nexu out of here, Leia.

Exit Leia and Anji.

[to Luke] Can't you shut that thing up?

Luke stuffs the probe droid back in the socks and locks them both in his trunk.

Luke. [about Viceroy] He's not looking too good, is he?

Han. It's stress. He'd be fine if that big stupid fuzzball would leave him alone.

Enter Leia.

Luke, Han, and Leia enter the Great Hall.

Enter Yoda, Mon Mothma, Darth Vader, Yaddle, Sio Bibble, Liam (a first year youngling), Salla Zend (a dark-skinned first year youngling), and Sora Bulq.

Yoda. Happy Life Day! As there are so few of us, it seemed foolish to use the House tables. Sit down. Sit down.

Luke, Han, and Leia sit.

Crackers!

Yoda offers the other end of a cracker to Vader, who reluctantly tugs, revealing a headgear of a Dathomiri Witch.

Vader scowls and gives Yoda the hat.

Yoda wears the hat.

Dig in!

Enter Roan Shryne.

Roan. This is a pleasant surprise.

Shryne. I have been meditating, Master. And to my astonishment, I saw my abandoning my solitary luncheon and coming to join you. Who am I to refuse the promptings of fate? I at once hastened from my spire. And I do beg you to forgive my tardiness.

Yoda. Certainly, certainly. Let me draw you up a chair.

Yoda reaches into the Force and telekineses a chair in between Mothma and Vader.

Shryne. I dare not, Master. If I join the table, we shall be thirteen. Nothing could be more unlucky. Never forget when thirteen dine, the first to rise will be the first to die.

Mothma. We'll risk it, Roan. Do sit down. The nuna is getting cold.

Shryne hesitantly sits down.

Cripe, Roan?

Shryne. [ignoring Mothma] But where is poor Master Jinn?

Yoda. I'm afraid the poor fellow is ill again. Most unfortunate that it should happen on Life Day.

Mothma. But surely you already knew that, Roan?

Shryne. [glares at Mothma] Certainly I knew, Mon. But one does not parade the fact that one is farseeing. I frequently act as if I am not possessed with the power of Force Sense, so as not to make others nervous.

Mothma. That explains at great deal.

Shryne. If you must know, Mon, I have seen that poor Master Jinn is not long for this galaxy. He seems aware himself that his time is short. He positively fled when I offered to meditate with him.

Mothma. [sarcastic] Imagine that.

Yoda. I doubt that Master Jinn is in any immediate danger. Darth. You've made the potion for him again?

Vader. Yes, Master.

Yoda. Good. Then he should be up and about in no time. Liam. Have you had any of these sweet-sand cookies? They're excellent.

Liam blushes and takes a cookie.

All eat.

Luke and Han stand.

Shryne. By the Emperor's Black Heart! Which of you left your seat first?

Han. [glances uneasily at Luke] I don't know.

Mothma. I hardly think it matters, unless an Anzati assassin is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first being to enter the Main Entrance.

All but Shryne laugh.

Luke. [to Leia] Coming?

Leia. No. I want a quick word with Senator Mothma.

Han. [aside, to Luke] Probably trying to see if she can take any more classes.

Exit all but Luke and Han.

Enter Gantoris, at a party with a couple of Dathomiri Witches, several Jedi Masters, and his gualaar.

Gantoris. [drunken] Happy . . . hic . . . Life Day. Password?

Han. Scurvy cur.

Gantoris. And the same to you, sir.

Exit all but Luke and Han.

Luke and Han head up to their dormitory.

Luke begins polishing the A-wing.

Enter Leia and Mon Mothma.

Mothma. [indicates the A-wing] So that's it, is it? Miss Organa has just informed me that you have been sent an starfighter, Skywalker. May I see it?

Mothma takes the A-wing.

Hmm. And there was no note at all, Skywalker? No card? No message of any kind?

Luke. No.

Mothma. I see. Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take this, Skywalker.

Luke. W-what? Why?

Mothma. It will need to be checked for curses. Of course, I'm no expert. But I daresay Master Dreis and Governor Bibble will strip it down.

Han. Strip it down?

Mothma. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks. You shall have it back when we are sure it is curse-free.

Luke. There's nothing wrong with it.

Mothma. You can't know that, Skywalker, unless you were to fly it. And by then it would be too late.

Exit Mothma with the A-wing.

Han. Why did you go, running to Mothma?

Leia. Because I thought . . . and Senator Mothma agreed with me . . . that the ship was probably sent to Luke by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Exit all.