AN: In honor of The Hobbit's release, I came up with this. *grins* Enjoy.
"Riella, please," Prowl pleaded. "I'm not asking you to ban it! I like the movie too, remember? But it's just too much. Especially with the new movie."
The femme sighed. "It's not that bad, Prowl. Try to enjoy it."
"Red Alert hasn't recharged in a week!"
"Okay, okay." Riella chuckled. "The Nazgṹl pranks may have gone a bit too far -"
"And Wheeljack wants to make a Ring of Power!"
Riella frowned. "That was definitely not my idea…"
"Even Ratchet is quoting it!"
The femme raised her hands in surrender. "All right, don't glitch. I'll try to take care of it. No guarantees that this will work."
The Lord of the Rings trilogy is epic. Never try to convince any of us otherwise. But it does lead to a few rules…
1. Quotes are limited to one per 'bot, per day.
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." (Watching the Chevy twins attempt to decipher that statement was worth the hour of practice to say it correctly.)
"Don't worry, she knows an idiot when she sees one."
"I didn't hear anything important! Just a lot about a ring, and a dark lord, and something about the end of the world…"
"Everywhere I lie, there's a giant root sticking into my back." (Hence the shortened camping trip.)
"They have pints? I'm getting one!"
"Men? Men are weak." (Charlotte Mearing shocked everyone with the quote.)
"One does not simply walk into Mordor. There is evil there that does not sleep." (For some reason, this statement, with 'Mordor' replaced with 'Walmart', is popular on base.)
Leo: You need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing.
- Me: Well, that rules you out.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?"
"We ain't had nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!" (Ohhh that scared Ratchet.)
Anything at all in Elvish. (It disturbs government agents when they don't understand us.) (Apparently Cybertronian is bad enough.)
2. Also, quotes from the parody "Lord of the Beans" are banned.
"It says…if you can read this, you're too close."
"Got any waffles?"
"I can't believe I'm missing burrito night for this." (Sam.)
"If you wear it right, it'll even keep your nose warm!"
"Dibs on his espresso maker."
*singing* "Oh I'm a lucky fellow, I'm a lucky boy! I've got a new umbrella, and it's my pride and joy! Rain may come and the sun may go, but I'll be dry from my head to toe! Oh I'm a lucky fellow, I'm a lucky boy! *speaking* Hey, I've got a new umbrella!"
"We'll create a distraction! Does anybody have a banjo or an inflatable turkey?"
Should I need to mention the Elvish impersonator? Don't even try, Leo.
3. Contests for Best Gollum Voice are no longer allowed.
You will never guess who won…
None of the usual suspects…
Ironhide, of all 'bots.
He says it comes of witnessing one too many cats with hairballs.
Andy Serkis is Sides' and Sunny's new hero.
4. Along that line of thought, no more Nazgṹl costumes.
Not even on Halloween!
They scared Red Alert. (Which was funny.)
And Chromia. (Which was not funny.)
And Optimus. (The cannons were very scary.)
And Bluestreak. (Which made me feel like a complete and utter jerk.)
5. Be careful what parts you watch with certain 'bots.
The scene with the trees being destroyed made Prowl upset.
The spiraling downward shots made Sam dizzy.
Ratchet was thoroughly disgusted by every single evil creature.
Red Alert should just never watch any movies at all.
6. Don't encourage the younglings to throw pillows at the screen when the bad guys are in the shot.
Almost broke the TV.
We also made a royal mess.
And ran out of pillows before the first movie intermission.