:: Chapter Thirty Four ::
Their voices and words were no more than a minor buzzing in the background and barely enough to pull Eliza from the thoughts swimming through her mind. From reliving her nightmare on a never-ending loop while she recited to herself the stories Lord Scourge had told her of Nathema.
Everyone standing by her in the war room took on a ghostly form and froze in time, blending with their surroundings while an ashen landscape spread out before her very eyes. Cracked bones and ivory skulls as she'd seen them a thousand times before in her dreams, in her fears come to life, littered the cold and dry surface and she could almost taste the rot in her mouth. The taste of death and soon, if her nightmarish visions were any indication, the lost planet would claim another life. A life she would not be able to bear losing.
Her face turned white and another wave of nausea rose in her stomach—she hadn't stopped feeling sick since she'd awoken that afternoon. Her body crumbling to the weight upon her heart and soul, poisoned by her own fears.
"I'm going," she interrupted the debate that had escaped her notice.
In truth, while she knew it was selfish, she didn't care whether the timing for a rescue operation was inconvenient. Whether her absence would leave the base on Odessen vulnerable and whether anyone approved of the journey. As Commander, she was expected to make the correct judgment calls that benefitted one and all but in this situation, nothing else mattered to her and she did have more reason beyond just personal ones.
"Regardless of my obvious motivations, Scourge would make for a valuable asset to this team. While in captivity, he may have become privy to information we can use and, depending on the treatment he's received on Nathema, he is one of the strongest fighters I have ever known."
A small sigh escaped Lana but she couldn't bring herself to argue—she knew it would be an exercise in futility.
"We're nowhere close to having the Gravestone fully upgraded nor do we have a solid plan for an assault on the Spire. I suppose there would be no point in you idly sitting here and waiting."
"Right. Speaking of which," Eliza took a sharp turn to face the blonde and everyone else, "don't breathe a word of these plans to Senya. This is strictly need-to-know and she doesn't. In fact, don't even tell her there are plans in the making, period."
"You don't trust her?" asked Charlie.
"I do. I trust her love for her children. She still mourns Vaylin and speaking as a mother myself, there is nothing Cyara could ever do that would make me love her less—I'd always fight for her no matter what.
"Senya is no different. While she may disapprove of Arcann's actions, in the deepest of her heart he's still her child, the little boy she gave birth to and loves. It's best she doesn't know what we have in mind for him and that she not be tempted to reach out and give him a heads up on any oncoming assaults in an attempt to save him."
"That's a fair point," Jonas agreed and cast a sideways glance at his best friend while he inquired, "Is anyone coming with you, Eliza?"
"I won't ask you guys to risk your lives on this rescue op but I welcome volunteers."
"I'm joining you." Theron took her hand and squeezed it gently. "You're not doing this alone."
Gratefully she leaned against him, her arms hugging around his middle while her head sank onto his shoulder. "Thank you."
"Count me in as well and if I may suggest? Bring Andronikos along," Jenna offered.
Eliza exchanged a curious look with Theron, failing to see the point. "The pirate? Why? He just got here."
"He's an extremely skilled pilot and a man who needs to be out there, be a part of the action and feel the heat. Besides, it may be a good opportunity for you both to have a chat and for you to judge his merit?"
"If he passed his medical, I guess."
"He did," Doc informed her and added a smile, "And I will join you as well."
"Really?"
"I've no love for the man but yanno, he's been a prisoner there for years, he may require medical attention or any of ya in case there's trouble, so."
Eliza nodded and swallowed hard, loathing the reminder Lord Scourge may be in a dire state yet thankful for the unexpected offer. "I appreciate it, Doc, truly."
"We'll keep an eye on things here," said Jonas while he slipped an arm over Charlie's shoulder. "You don't have to worry."
"You're up to date on all contingency plans?" checked Eliza.
If anything were to go awry in her absence she'd never forgive herself but she had to go. Each argument she'd made with herself about responsibility, about leadership, deceiving in the freedom it posed yet forever expecting her to serve everyone's best interest, had been overthrown by instinct and passion.
"I am. We've got this, promise," Jonas assured her.
"I'll have your ship made ready," Lana offered, eager to have some form of responsibility now her task of locating Nathema had been completed.
Eliza flashed her a brief smile. "Good. Alright, guess I'm going to go recruit me a pirate and meet you all in the hangar bay in say, an hour."
—
The galley on the Vanora was near dark and empty and it would be at this time of day, or rather, night, the middle of it and Eliza sleepily drifted inside. She'd been a recluse since their journey had begun three days ago. Exhausted and sick almost every day, all day, to the point she'd remained in bed hoping to conquer whichever cold plagued her.
Her appetite, however, hadn't abandoned her in between bouts of nausea and she dug through the conservator finding some leftover flat cakes and a frosty treat bar.
"Gonna share?" A deep and unexpected voice startled her and she flipped on the dim overhead light.
"I don't know, I'm very particular about sharing my frosty treats and it's the last one."
Andronikos grinned over the rim of his bottle of rum, keeping his one good eye on her. "Alright, I know better than to try and separate a woman from her sweets. Drink?"
She screwed her nose up at the bottle he held out and sat down. "Best not but thanks."
"Are ya really sick? Or just not up for the company?"
"I'm sitting here now, aren't I?" Eliza split the frosty treat bar in half and handed him a piece anyway.
"Aye."
"So, Nox. I know you worked with her."
Half a shrug rolled along his shoulders and he took a swig of his rum. "Yeah. We ain't gonna be having problems but I'd like to hear what happened."
His question awoke memories that took her back years and left her to wonder. Perhaps she shouldn't have cured Lord Scourge of his immortality. If she hadn't, he wouldn't have to suffer now, he wouldn't feel pain or perhaps he would not even be in captivity at all. Without his ability to love her, he could have left her crew long before the Eternal Fleet's invasion and he'd be safe now.
'I've weakened him and put him in harm's way by curing him…' Eliza thought and the judgment she held toward her selfish actions left a bitter taste in her mouth but she swallowed it back and explained to Andronikos.
"We both chased the same mystical relic on Makeb. A gem holding the life force of some princess. I needed it to cure Scourge's immortality, she wanted it for… well, who knows? She got there before I did and the sorceress's spirit that still lingered possessed or killed her. I thought I was fighting Nox but, I think she was already gone by then."
"Then Revan killed whatever was left of her? I heard rumor but I ain't Sith enough to be told anything official by you lot."
Eliza nodded. "I wasn't there for it, Meg and my uncle were."
Andronikos finished the last drop of liquid and stretched back in his seat, reaching for a second bottle behind him. "Crazy Sith.
"I warned her this endless pursuit of power and eternal youth would be the death of her but she became obsessed. Wanted to outshine her old Master, the Council. Didn't help that guy she was seeing kept calling her a slave. Lust and loathing, a bad combination if you ask me."
"Ravage…"
"Yeah, him. Always reminded her she came from nothin' and was nothin', you know? Tried proving him wrong but it cost her I guess."
A chill traveled down Eliza's spine—that could have been her—and she recoiled at the memories that surfaced. How easily she'd given in to her darker impulses with Ravage by her side, how at times she'd loathed him and yet had craved their lustful exchanges.
"Were you close?" she asked.
"For a time but then she joined the Dark Council and, a former slave girl dating a nobody pirate like myself? She ended it but we stayed friends until she ditched the entire crew, said she'd outgrown us, then robbed her own department."
"That wasn't Nox anymore by then, it was Caerna."
He shrugged again, swirling the bottle by its neck before taking another swig. "Woulda liked for things to end on a different note but she was trouble from the start. Part of her charm, y'know?"
"What did you do after?"
"Went my own way for a while until this war started. Got a strange call saying to meet on Nar Shaddaa, turns out it was Ashara putting together a group of misfits to fight back. Seemed like a good fight to me."
His one good eye narrowed on her. "Now, your turn to share, perhaps over a game of pazaak?"
"Sure. What do you want to know?"
"Well, from what I gathered we're on our way to some dead hole in the galaxy to save your husband… but, you're also dating that SIS guy. Sounds like there's quite a story to tell there, what will you do when you get your Sith back?"
A deep sigh escaped Eliza's lips—it was the dreaded question she'd avoided asking herself in the past few days—and she shook her head with a sardonic response, "Go to hell, probably."
And right about now that bottle of rum actually looked inviting.
While Andronikos shook and dealt the cards, Eliza delved into the pieces of her own past, at least those she felt willing to share, but she never got far. Barely managing to finish one game, with half a flat cake left untouched, drowsiness took a hold of her once again and the pirate watched her fade before his very eyes.
"Hey, you do have a medic aboard, why don't ya have him check you out huh?"
A logical suggestion and she'd already considered doing so but decided against it, with good reason in her opinion.
"It's probably a combination of a lack of sleep and too much stress… no biggie. But, in case it is anything more or worse than that, I just don't want to know for now. I've got enough on my plate as it is."
For a moment it looked as if Andronikos prepared to scold her for her stubbornness but a split second later his expression turned to one of understanding. In her shoes, he may just have run to a quiet nebula at the other end of the galaxy by now. War was one thing but personal drama and hardships? He shuddered to himself.
Days blended into nights and Eliza showed no sign of improvement while their journey progressed. It troubled Theron and against her wishes, while she slept, he'd called Doc into their quarters for a basic and brief examination. The expert merely shook his head when he finished and they stepped outside, lowering their voices to a whisper.
"It's not a cold or virus," said Doc. "But without a blood sample, I can't determine the origin either. May have to assume it really is stress or perhaps the origin is of a different nature entirely."
"What? Like a Force related…" Theron frowned to himself. "Something?"
"It's possible."
"Could the Emperor be doing this to her? I'll bet he'd have ample reason to keep her away from Nathema… illness could have made her unfit to travel."
Doc nodded. "I wouldn't put it past the old bastard. Still, if it is him or Force related then her state should improve once we reach Nathema."
"What if it's Scourge?" asked Jenna and she elaborated seeing their confused stares.
"They've always shared a bond, right? His visions and all that other Force whatever stuff. What if he's suffering and somehow, it is now affecting her like… calling out to her?"
The mere thought twisted Theron's expression into one of resentment. "I don't think he would do that. He… loves her."
'And so do I. Damn this mess,' his mind added but he quickly shut those tormenting realizations down.
"It may not be deliberate," Doc pointed out before he excused himself to update Eliza's chart.
"How are you holding up?" Jenna glanced Theron's way.
An indolent shrug rolled along his shoulders. "I… have no idea."
"Talk to me?"
"I'm…"
Expressing his feelings had always been difficult—he wasn't the kind of person to share. Self-taught to keep it all inside and figure out a way of battling whichever demons gnawed at his consciousness. Perhaps a thing he'd picked up from Master Zho and the Jedi or simply a result of his past—he'd grown so accustomed to having to fight his own battles it was hard to let anyone in, save for Eliza and Jonas.
"Anxious, I guess? Worried about how we'll find him and troubled by either outcome. If he's alive then what happens next between her, him and myself? And if he's beyond saving… I'm scared she won't be able to handle that either," Theron began.
"In the past years, she's gone through missing him, holding on, hoping, giving up, mourning him based on a lie and having her hope revived to this state of… whatever this is she's going through right now."
"A lack of sleep and stressful situations can fell even the strongest person," Jenna pointed out. "And that could very well be all this is."
"I know, I just worry and…"
He chewed down on his bottom lip and lowered his voice to a whisper, ashamed of his own admission, "There are days where I wish he was… that we'd never found out…"
The mere thought and words ignited feelings of guilt and he rose up from his seat abruptly while shaking his head. "I know that sounds horrible but—"
"It's understandable," sympathized Jenna.
"Maybe but I don't feel right about it and… It's not even just for myself. It's her and everything this has been doing to her which is frustrating because there is nothing I can do to help, nothing I can do about any of this except ride it out and hope for the best."
Theron cast a glance at the door leading to his quarters and sighed. "I can't lose her again."
"Then don't. Fight. For her, for the both of you. You know I'm rooting for you."
"If he's alive and well… you know he tried to kill me once?" A miserable chuckle escaped him. "He won't be pleased to see me there."
"Beggars can't be choosers. It's a rescue op for his benefit, he can deal with unwelcome faces," said Doc as he overheard the last of their exchange. "Tis not like he'll be thrilled to see me either."
—
Eliza held her breath when they approached Nathema's surface and mentally prepared for the effects the absence of the Force might have on her. She'd never experienced such a thing but heard the stories of Ziost's aftermath and easily recalled Lord Scourge telling her how it left him sick to visit Nathema.
As if she didn't feel nauseous enough already but to her surprise, she noticed little difference while they touched down.
'A gift… use it well,' the voice of Valkorion whispered to her but he didn't stick around for a reaction and gleeful laughter echoed his departure.
"Looks like the Imperial Guard never got word of their Emperor's demise," commented Theron when he spotted the welcome committee posted outside the only structure left standing in its glory.
A structure dissimilar to every other ruin on the ashen surface and bearing the architectural signature of the Spire on Zakuul. Modern, shining, proud and Eliza felt it a monstrosity and insult to the souls who'd died in the Ritual of Nathema millennia ago.
"Either that or they serve Arcann now," said Doc.
"For the time being…" Eliza mused and thought of the unwelcome companion inside her mind.
"No doubt they hold out hope for Vitiate's return—their loyalty has always only been to him. Arcann would be no more than a placeholder to them, one they'll indulge until such a time their true Master returns."
Jenna gave a shudder. "This world is unnatural. Let's kill those guards, grab Scourge and bounce."
"A sound idea."
Dispatching of the guards was quick and easy work. While Andronikos and Theron lay cover fire, Eliza let her blades roar and she danced between the red-clad pairings headed her way to cut them down one by one. Jenna had her back using nothing but her vibroknife, eager fists and an attitude to help eliminate the protective forces while Doc remained safely behind the pirate and the spy. Out of harm's way and working Theron's tech to scan the building for signs of life but something interfered with his signal.
"I can't pinpoint an exact location," he said when they regrouped.
"Then we'll do it the old fashioned way—go in blind and see where it leads." Eliza shrugged and slowly, confidence took root where her fears had dwelled.