Naruto can tell that he's off right now. He doesn't know if it's been tipped off by getting his ass severely beat, or if he's actually getting depressed again.

His body still hurts terribly. He's pretty sure one of his ribs is cracked. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to walk.

Of course, both of his jobs are strictly walking.

His head aches too. And if he thought his hand hurt after punching a hole in the wall, it was nothing compared to his hands now.

"God that fight was so awesome." Konohamaru bobs with each step he takes.

Naruto has already heard this sentiment. It's all he's heard from Konohamaru, actually. Since his fight, since his unlikely win, all his canvassing partner has been talking about was the fight.

Both Konohamaru and Udon had signed up for a beginning class at Jiraiya's. Though both of them were nonplus to find out which neighborhood it was located in.

He could tell from his notebook that he was beginning to feel bummed out. He didn't know if it was natural, from experience his disconnect from Hinata. Or from Sasuke. Or from just his life over all. Or if he was chemically lowering in his brain, lowering him into the grave of depression.

He hates depression more than mania. Sure mania was more dangerous. But depression was like wearing a weighted vest. It was like all the colors in the world lost saturation. Like all food tasted like… mush.

It was hard to explain.

And he knew, realistically, that mania was bad. That it was normal for his memories of it to distort. He knew that. That's why it's important to keep the notebook. All he had to do is flip the pages and read his own terrified writing.

Depression was worse, even still.

"How did you learn that move so fast?" Konohamaru asked.

"It wasn't fast." Naruto tried not to get annoyed.

If there's anything he's learned from being abandoned, it's not to let your feelings leak out. He had forgot that when he was with Hinata. He forgot to keep his cards close. He forgot that he can't count on other people.

He always forgets with Hinata.

She's so sweet and he loves her so much. He just wants to have that… that feeling. That connection.

But -

"It was so crazy, your like a natural."

"No. I'm not." Naruto huffs.

"And holy shit. You didn't tell me your girlfriend was so hot."

"She isn't my girlfriend." Naruto can feel the hairs raise on the back of his neck.

He's getting irritated. It's uncalled for. But he can still feel the annoyance course through him like some mind altering substance.

"Yeah but she was there. She was like all over you-"

"Yeah, except she's not." Naruto finally snapped. "She isn't my girlfriend because she doesn't want to be my girlfriend. She doesn't want to be with me."

Konohamaru looks shocked.

It is shocking. It's out of nowhere.

But Naruto can taste his own unhappiness like bile in his mouth and he wants to spit it out.

"I woke up at five in the morning and practiced that move. Until I had to get ready for work. Then, I came home and practiced that move. Until I had to go to my second job. I came home and practiced that move until I went to bed. Every single day. For weeks."

Konohamaru's eyebrows raise. He whistles lowly. "That's some serious dedication-"

Naruto's teeth grind together and he almost sees white. How? How could Konohamaru possibly interpret that as something positive.

"It's not dedication. It's pathetic. It's from loneliness. I don't have a family. I barely have friends. I lucky to even have a job."

"Bro, what are you talking about? You're literally the best at this job."

"I got this job on a freaking fluke. And once it's over, I'm going to lose my apartment because I can't find another job, because I can't pass a fucking background check."

"What do you mean? What did you do?" Konohamaru looks shocked.

"A lot of dumb shit. That's my point. Nothing I do is good, or cool okay. I wasn't even supposed to win that fight."

There's an awkward silence that befalls them, after Naruto is done with his temper tantrum.

He rubs the bridge of his nose. His headache is persistent. And after his outbursts, he's laden with guilt.

"Look - I'm sorry for freaking out on you. I'm just tired. I think."

"Well, you know we can take a break. We're literally the only ones that don't, you know that?" Konohamaru frowns at him. "Like, literally, we can go sit in that cafe for like twenty minutes and be fine."

Naruto's shoulders sag. His only strategy at trying to stick out at this job was ruthless work ethic. But he's sure, maybe; this break will be okay.

Naruto hates coffee though, caffeine is bad for his bipolar. So he orders water, and a coffee cake. It reminds him of Hinata. Of walking out of their lobby together, instead of alone.

Of happier times.

"Why can't you pass a background check?" Konohamaru blurted out. "Have you like… been to…" His voice faded off into a whisper.

"Jail?" Naruto's voice is only mildly annoyed, and patronizing. "Yeah."

"What did you do?" He gasped.

"Killed little rich punks."

Konohamaru blinks a few times, as if reassuring himself that he couldn't possibly be serious.

Naruto smirks a little. "Just stupid shit."

"Come on, like what?" He presses.

Almost like he's fascinated.

Maybe it is fascinating for a sheltered, rich kid. Who's to say?

"Fighting. Drinking. Usually just post bail after a night and shit gets dropped. I spent two months though, when I first turned eighteen."

"Why?"

Because he had Sasuke's drugs in his pocket. It's not like he was completely innocent at the time. He definitely bummed his fair share of Percocets or Xanax. But he couldn't afford that much. Both him and Sasuke got locked up and charged though, so they couldn't get bailed out.

That was before Hinata though. She would've been there in a second.

"Because I'm not Hiruzen Sarutobi's grandson." Naruto decided to snub him again, just for the fuck of it.

Konohamaru frowned again.

"It doesn't matter. But it's there. And it sits there forever. It doesn't leave. Just like the tattoos. You decided to do things on a whim and then the rest of your life you're some stupid fucking punk with face tattoos and a record."

Konohamaru frowns. "Okay, but the tattoos are kinda dope man."

"I swear to god I'll nine move combo you in the face." Naruto glares.

"Okay come on though, they really match the Nine Tail Demon persona you got."

Naruto rubs the bridge of his nose again. "Just stop talking."

"Come on that nickname is so badass."

"For the love of god."