The past three days had probably been the longest three days of Gibbs's life. Waiting to find out if his Senior Field Agent, his second in command, his loyal St. Bernard, his surrogate son had lung cancer. Even though it was killing him he was trying his best to put on brave face for Tony. The younger man was scared to death. He had always been terrified of his mortality and now he was staring death in the face.
Gibbs was still kicking himself for not being there for Tony's biopsy three days earlier. It had been the same time as McGee's dad's funeral and Tony had insisted that he be there for McGee. He did go back to Tony early though.
FLASHBACK
Gibbs sat in the back row of the small Catholic Church where the funeral for McGee's dad was being held. He saw McGee sitting between Sarah and Abby. Sarah tightly gripped his right hand and Penelope's left. McGee leaned into Abby's shoulder tears streaming down his cheeks. Gibbs tried to focus his attention to John's best friend a fellow Admiral who was finishing the eulogy by singing the naval fight song. In hopes of soothing his churning gut, He knew that Tony needed him and even though Jane was with him he still needed to be. Without warning the churning became too much. He jumped up and ran out of the church. He burst through the door marked gentlemen and made b-line for the stall. He slammed the door behind him and before he could bend down to the toilet. The contents of his stomach spewed out all over the floor and toilet seat. His gut was still churning and now his heart was racing inside his chest. He heard the door open and another man enter.
"Jethro are you alright?" Ducky asked voice laced with concern.
"DiNozzo needs me Duck." Gibbs replied.
"Really?" Ducky asked.
"My gut is killing me." Gibbs replied.
"Well then by all means go to him." Ducky replied.
"What about McGee?" Gibbs asked.
"I will talk to him you go to Anthony." Ducky replied.
Gibbs washed his hands and rinsed his mouth out. He was walking across the parking lot when he heard his phone ring. It was Jane.
"Jane?"
"Oh good Jethro."
"What is it?"
"They need your consent to do a further exploratory."
"I'm heading back to Bethesda."
"They need it now."
"They have my permission."
Gibbs tested his own driving speeding back to Bethesda. Completely terrified that he would get back and learn that Tony had died. Once he arrived he raced up to surgery and collapsed beside Jane into one of the chairs. Three hellish hours was how long they waited for news. Before the doctor finally walked out and approached the family. After what seemed like hours he finally pulled down his surgical mask.
"How is Tony?" Gibbs demanded.
"The spot on his right lung we originally hoped was a shadow on the x-ray is tumor and it has wrapped around the entire lung." The doctor replied solemnly.
"Can I see him?" Gibbs asked.
"As soon as he's in recovery." The surgeon replied.
Just then a nurse walked into the room "Family of Agent DiNozzo?" she called.
"What now?" Gibbs asked.
"I'm afraid he suffered a small seizure in the recovery room. It's likely just a side effect from the anesthesia." She explained.
END FLASHBACK
The scariest part of all of this was that if Tony did have cancer. It may not matter the drugs weren't fighting the infection as well as the doctors hoped and he had been running a hundred and five degree fever for three solid days. Right now Tony had been asleep for twenty-four hours straight. Though through his whole six day hospitalization he had been awake at best nine hours off and on.
"I have the results of Tony's biopsy." Dr. Pitt said entering the room he sounded like he was going to cry.
"Can you tell me?" Gibbs asked.
"You are Tony's next of kin and have power of attorney so yes." Dr. Pitt replied.
"Talk to me." Gibbs replied.
"I'm sorry but the tumor and all of the spots are cancerous." Dr. Pitt replied voice cracking.
"What do we do?" Gibbs asked.
"There's nothing we can do. Surgery is too risky and it's too late for chemo or radiation. He doesn't even have a good chance of beating the infection. Not to mention if we did anything and by some miracle he pulled through the scaring would be so severe that he would have no quality of life. I'm sorry." Dr. Pitt explained.
"H…How long?" Gibbs asked voice cracking.
"At best three months." Dr. Pitt replied sadly.
"Okay" Gibbs replied trying to fight off tears.
Dr. Pitt left the room leaving Gibbs alone with his dying son. How the hell was he going to tell Tony that he was terminal? How was he going to tell anyone? He gently gripped Tony's hand. Wishing that the cancer would leave Tony's body and go into his own. Then quickly regretting that thought since the twins needed him. Oh God the twins. J.L. what was going to happen to him if Tony died? Tony was his best friend and despite Gibbs's unconditional love the only person he fully trusted. Now he was going to be gone soon and J.L. would lose yet another person he loved. How much did that poor kid have to go through? Liz had been through a lot too but J.L. J.L. was like Tony bad luck just seemed to follow him everywhere he went.
"Boss?" Tony asked weakly.
"I'm right here DiNozzo." Gibbs replied.
"Test results?" Tony asked.
"Yeah I got them a few minutes ago." Gibbs replied.
"Tony I hate to tell you this but everything is cancerous. There's nothing they can do. You have at best three months." Gibbs replied.
"You tell others?" Tony asked.
"Yeah I'll tell everyone." Gibbs replied.
"Why is my arm wet?" Tony asked.
"Oh I think there's a leaky vent or something. I'll go tell someone." Gibbs replied.
Gibbs made it half-way down the hall before the mask slipped and he just completely broke down. He had a steady stream of tears ever since he had learned that Tony was terminal but as he walked down the hall. He just lost control. Out of the blue a choked sob was released and it was like a pipe burst and tears flooded his face. He honestly did not know that it was really possible for a person to cry that much. The tears made him feel light-headed and dizzy. He was glad that he was close to the emergency rail because without warning he fell forward.
"Jethro are you okay?" Jane asked wrapping her arms around his limp yet trembling body.
"N…No I'm not!" Gibbs cried.
"What's wrong? It's Tony isn't it?" Jane asked.
"Y…Yes!" Gibbs cried.
"What's wrong?" Jane asked.
"His God dammed lungs are full of cancer! They're giving him at best three months!" Gibbs cried.
"Oh Jethro I'm so sorry." Jane replied.
"Just want to take away his pain!" Gibbs replied.
"I know." Jane replied.
"He doesn't deserve any of it!" Gibbs cried.
"Everything happens for a reason." Jane whispered.
"Yeah right." Gibbs replied.
Jane held Gibbs tightly in her arms until he had calmed down enough to walk. Slowly the two walked together out of the hospital. Jane followed Gibbs to his car and placed a kiss on his cheek as he climbed in. Gibbs drove home alone with his thoughts. He looked back behind him at a traffic light and saw Jane's van behind him. He smiled to himself it had been a while since somebody had worried about and wanted to take care of him. It felt good. He pulled into his driveway got out of the car and headed towards his house. He heard Jane's car door close she came up behind him and tightly squeezed his shoulder.
"Jane" Gibbs said quietly.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Jane replied.
"As good as I can be." Gibbs replied.
"Would you like me to take the twins off your hands for tonight?" Jane asked.
"No I think I need them to be with me." Gibbs replied.
"Alright well call me if you need anything." Jane replied.
"Thanks" Gibbs replied.
He pulled Jane close to him and she leaned in. He felt like a teenager again making out with a girl on his front lawn in the daylight. It took his mind off the mind off the emotional turmoil and heartbreak that he had been feeling the last few days. He felt young, wild, and like he didn't have a care in the world. He wished that he could stay in that moment forever. Unfortunately it eventually had to come to an end. Slowly the two separated.
"I love you." Jane said.
"I love you too." Gibbs replied.
Jane turned and walked back to her van, turned into the street, and drove away. Leaving Gibbs alone in front of his house. He let a few more tears fall, wiped them away, and walked into his home. He saw Amy sitting on the couch with Liz playing some kind of child's clapping game. While J.L. lay on the floor spinning the wheels on the Hot Wheels Mini Cooper that Ziva had given him.
"YAY! Gibbs your home!" Liz cried running into Gibbs's arms.
"Hey Lizzie were you good for Amy?" Gibbs asked.
"Yes she was very good." Amy replied.
"What about you J.L.?" Gibbs replied.
"Is Tony better?" J.L. asked.
"No J.L. I'm sorry." Gibbs replied.
"We made him a get well card." J.L. said.
"Just like the one our class made us!" Liz cried.
Gibbs felt his chest tighten when Liz handed him the hand drawn "Git Wel" card. Normally he would have smiled at the innocent gesture but knowing that Tony was never going to get better made it too painful. He looked down and saw four innocent eyes looking into his own.
"He'll love it." Gibbs said trying not to cry.
"When can we see him again?" J.L. asked.
"Soon" Gibbs replied.
It occurred to them that he had a lot to explain to the twins. If or when they ever got to see Tony again. How the hell was he supposed to explain terminal illness to five year olds? When he still hadn't found a way to explain Tony having the plague to them?
Gibbs awoke the next morning to the cruel reality of Tony's illness and the effects it would have on the people in their lives. He had a lot of decisions to make about Tony and the end of life care he now required. Most he would have to first discuss with Tony since he was competent. He'd also have to talk to Ducky and do research of facilities and professionals. There however was one decision he could make about Tony's care. Right there on his own whether Tony liked it or not. Quietly he sat at his desk grabbed a sheet of paper and envelope from the drawer, and a pen from the cup.
After dropping Liz and J.L. off at school he drove to NCIS and slipped into Vance's office. He was surprised to see the director sitting at his desk.
"Jethro what are you doing? Are you here to tell me I'm a terrible person again?" Vance asked angrily.
"No Leon I am here to resign." Gibbs replied.
"Really you are resigning over our fight? Yet I am an idiot for feeing suicidal when I thought my son was dead? Real mature!" Vance yelled.
"It's not because of you Leon! I don't give a rat's ass about any of that!" Gibbs shot back.
"Why the hell are you then?" Vance demanded.
"Because Tony has cancer! He's dying! And he needs me! My kids need me! I just can't anymore!" Gibbs shouted before completely falling apart.
A/N: The next chapter Gibbs will have to tell everyone what happened. New chapter Friday please read and review thank you.
A/N 2: I mentioned earlier that I intended on wrapping this soon and writing a sequel. This story has at least six more chapters. The spinoff is going to be the second of a trilogy. The second part will be about Gibbs and Jane and their life together. This story ends with a wedding *hint* *hint*. The final installment will be about J.L. and Liz over the course of their senior year of high school.
A/N 3: Please vote in my new poll thank you.