Hey my lovelies!

I'm so so soooo sorry I didn't update two days ago. You see, when I signed on again that night I only had four reviews :( So I didn't update again. But then when I signed on again the next day (yesterday) I had 7! That's the most reviews I've had on a chapter! That's amazing! Thank you so much, guys!

Anyways, in a way I'm glad I didn't update then. I had last night to make it longer and better.

This is the longest chapter yet! At 3547 words! Woo!

Tell me what you think (There's going to be one more part to the wedding, just because I didn't want this one running to 6000 words + having to keep you guys waiting even longer)!

I do not own the hunger games!

xXxXx

"I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there's no relief in waking." FINNICK. LET ME LOVE YOU. PLEASE.

Finnick hasn't let go of my hand. I'm not joking.

As soon as everyone cleared out of the beach room, he interlocked our fingers and haven't let go. Not even when I went to the bathroom. He came with me. It was rather hilarious.

Right now we are walking (hand in hand!) to the reception… My bikini is now under my dress, so I'm ready to strip whenever I need to. First up is the dinner- I'm so excited to see my cake, it's unbelievable.

We enter the room, and I gasp. It's beautiful. There are twinkling lights and centerpieces of flowers and decorations that match my dress. "What do you think?" Finnick whispers into my ear. I look up at him and he's grinning from ear to ear. It's obvious to me that he designed the whole layout.

"Finnick! Did you do this?" I ask him.

He nods, bringing me over to the table in the front of the room. We are able to see everyone, and they will be able to see us, too. It's going to be me, Finnick, Trixie, Johanna, and Haymitch at the front table. I guess Haymitch is being counted as Finn's 'best man'.

Soon after that the room fills with people, whom I smile and wave at, and dinner is served. It's more of a serve-yourself, I suppose. There are many trays laid out of all kinds of sea food and bread. I eat till I feel sick, stuffing my face of the food from home.

Once I'm finally full, Me and Finnick are ushered to stand up. Haymitch leaves the room with Katniss, and I know Peeta must be coming soon. Two citizens who I don't know walk to the corner of the room where there are curtains set up, surrounding a table. The pull them back and I gasp.

The cake is beautiful. It's a three layered vanilla cake, but it's decorated like the ocean. There's every type of fish in every color you can imagine all over it, along with sea weed and sea shells. There's soft sand surrounding it, too.

I'm so distracted by the cake that I don't notice it first. But then I see it.

Surrounding my amazing cake are pictures. All kinds of pictures of all of my friends and family that are passed. The room is silent, and I let out a squeaky sound, yanking my hand from Finnick's to cover my mouth. I slowly walk towards the table, tears filling my eyes.

Ky. Carter. Esmeralda. Mitchell. My parents. Chaff and Seeder. All of my allies from my games.

Their pictures are laid around the table.

I'm so shocked, I don't know what to do. Nobody moves a muscle in the room, giving me time to absorb this. I move closer to the picture of Ky; I haven't seen him in so long… He's smiling and laughing in this picture, I don't know how they found it.

I make my way to him, taking the picture in my hands. I look at it, smiling and letting out a sob, "Ky…" I'm so happy that at least their pictures are here if they can't be, I don't know how to explain it.

I ignore the rest of the room, all of the people and cameras on me, and I pick up the picture of Carter in my other hand. "Oh, Carter, I am so sorry…" I whisper to it as he's actually here. Then there's hands taking the pictures from me and I look up to see a smiling Finnick. He places them back on the table. "Look at them, Finnick… they're all so happy…" I whisper to him like a little child.

"That's what they're like all the time up there, Gemma." He says back to me. He nudges my arm, nodding his head in the direction of the door. I look in that direction, and I see Peeta, with chains around his arms and feet, smiling at me.

"I'll be right back," I tell Finnick. He nods and I walk over to Peeta. I hug him tightly, "Thank you, Peeta… This is the best gift I could imagine… and the cake is so wonderful, just thank you so much…" He can't hug me back because of his arms, so he just stands there awkwardly.

"It's okay, really. I'm glad you like it…"

I pull away from him to look him in the eyes, "No. You don't understand how much it means to me… I haven't seen Ky in years…" Peeta suddenly ducks away, and I turn around to see the cameras directly on us. "I'll see you later for my dance, okay?" I whisper to him before turning around and pushing past the cameras to reach Finnick.

…

"H-hi…" I say from my spot on the stage next to Finnick. We decided we will have cake after my speech, so here I am. The only problem is, is that I have absolutely no idea what to say. Finnick wraps his arm around my waist, and I look at him for reassurance for a quick second. "I uh, I don't know what to say…" I mumble. I take a deep breath, "Okay. Well. Thank you all for coming, it- it means so much to me." I bite my lip as the voices begin to whisper. "And I want to ask you if you will be able to bear with me as I tell you my story…. I-I've never told anyone it, before, so now having it broadcasted to all of Panem is going to be hard."

I sink into Finnick, "So, as you seen to my reaction to those pictures, it is definitely not easy for me to talk about this…" I pause, looking up at him.

"But, with my help, she's more than willing to tell her story." Finn picks up, smiling down at me. I hear murmurs from the crowd, and I look to Coin. She's smiling smugly as she gives me a thumbs up. I pull away from Finnick, walking over to the picture of Carter that has been moved to a table beside us. I pick it up, tears springing in my eyes as I turn to the crowd.

"S-see this smiling man? He was my best friend in the world since we were just little children… now he's dead, because of President Snow." I swallow, staring straight into the camera. I clutch the photo to my chest, "Well, I'll start off my story, I suppose. I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter, Trixie, at the fine young age of 16. Being one of the richer, more popular families from district one, this was a huge deal. The only people that didn't treat me any different were Carter and my… my father. Trixie was born on the day of the reaping, so my name wasn't in to be drawn that year. Mr Snow must have known this," I glare into the camera, talking right to President Snow, "because what a coincidence it was, being reaped the very next year, on my daughters first birthday."

I put the picture down, not able to look at it any longer. I walk back over to Finn, hugging him quickly for support. "This brings me to the next point in my life, my hunger games. My district partner was… his name was K-ky Green…" I trail off, taking a deep breath. Finnick murmurs sweet nothings into my ear for a few moments, helping me along. "We… we quickly became friends… but he… he liked me as more than a friend… and I uh-" I wipe my eyes, tears falling having to relive this. The room is deadly silent, and Finnick picks up for me again.

"Ky loved Gemma, and I think what Gemma is trying to say that she loved him, too, she just didn't know in what way. Along with Ky, her allies were Annabelle, Juniper, and Marigold…" He points to each of their pictures, and that's when their deaths come flooding back to me. I completely forgot about them. How could I forget about them?

I bury my face in Finnick's shoulder, and he strokes my hair for a second. That's when I decide I need to suck it up, and be a big girl. I pull away from him, "I… I watched each of their deaths. I killed Marigold as she was getting attacked by a mutt. I wasn't fast enough to protect Annabelle from her district partner that stabbed her. I was passed out from the pain, unable to save Juniper. I remember… we were at the final six," I smile even though my voice is shaking and there's tears running down my face, "and me, Ky, and Juniper got attacked by the tributes from district twelve…" I turn to Finnick, "Help me undo this, would you?" I gesture to my dress.

He unzips the zipper running down the back, and I step out of the dress, standing there in my bikini. I swallow, looking down at my bruised, scarred, and broken body. Every single person in the room either gasps or shrieks and I shrink against the noises. "And she started to carve me up…." I trace over the smiley face scar, "This was the main thing she did, this smiley face. But see all of these?" My finger runs over the swirly scars on my chest and arms, "She did these too. But the rest are all from my abuse over the years." Someone passes me a robe so I don't have to put my dress back on, and I slip myself inside it, nodding to them in thanks. "Anyways, after that the games ended pretty quickly. Because of all these cuts, I was dying… and Ky… he- he protected me. He got killed saving me. I held him in my hands as he died, bleeding to death."

I reach over and take the picture of Ky up again, admiring his beautiful features. I carefully undo the frame, taking out the picture. I hold the picture in my hands, just holding it for a long time, staring at it as I rub my fingers over his face. I can feel him standing next to me, I can feel his presence. Then, in a matter of seconds I fold the picture into a tiny square, big enough to fit in the palm of my hand. "Then I won the games. After that, I was labelled mentally unstable, because I used to leave reality and have major mood swings. I still am on the medication, and I always will be."

I know I have to say what happened to my mother, but I can't form the words. I motion to Finnick, so he speaks up. "After she won, President Snow offered her a position as a courtesan, just like me. The trick is, though, if you don't accept, he kills someone you love until you do. Gemma refused at first, but once she came home from her victory tour…" He looks to me, wondering if it's okay that he goes on, and I nod, staring at the floor. "She received a package. Inside that package was the head of her mother, still warm and bloody. This didn't help with her current mental state, of course." I watch my tears come in contact with the floor, and I wipe them away with my foot. "But she accepted anyways."

I look up, to see the eyes. All of them are filled with fear or sorrow. "You forgot to mention that all of the peacekeepers would hit me, no actually, beat would be the better word. The peacekeepers would beat me whenever they had the chance. But still, I accepted."

Finnick takes me in his arms, "You didn't have a choice, baby." He whispers to me.

"I did. And I made the right one. I would go through all of that over and over again if it meant protecting my loved ones." I turn away from him, back to the crowd who anxiously want to hear more of my story. "Anyways, each year I had to mentor just meant having to go through all of that-" I shiver, thinking about the men again. Finnick rubs my arms.

"Someone cover Trixie's ears, please? She doesn't need to hear this." Finnick says to someone on the side of the stage. I find Trixie in the audience and see her pouting as a woman holds her hands tight against her ears, I smile.

"And each time I- I did it, it got worse… they were more rough, it was more painful, and there was just more and more and more of them… It drove me to insanity." I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "But I knew I had to be strong, for Trixie and for Finnick."

A few 'Aw's are shared, and I continue. "For Trixie, because she needed her mommy, and for Finnick, because he needed his love. After a few years, I couldn't stand to be away from Finnick, so me and Trixie moved to four. I have to admit, it was hard without my mo- I mean Esmeralda there. We became so close… and now…" I swallow back my tears, unable to say that Es is dead.

People nod in understanding and I take a deep breath, "And now she's not with us anymore, neither are Mitchy, their two kids, Glossy, Cash, and the rest of the people you see on that table." I point to the pictures, "And It's the president's fault." I look into the camera, "He deserves to die, in a slow and painful way, after being abused and used like I have been for years." I small, twisted smile appears on my face as I think of President Snow being beaten. It fades just as quickly as I remember the day in his office, getting raped in front of Finn…

I start to cry again, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. "Sorry. I- I'll move on. The quarter quell was announced, and I knew I was going into the arena again. I was positive I was going to die in there, so I tried to convince Finn to save himself over me-"

He cuts me off, looking into my eyes, "I would never do that. Not in a million years. I'd save you over myself any day."

"Hush, Finn." I quiet him. "But we got into the arena, and something changed that night. It blew up. The sky turned to flame, and before me and Johanna knew what was happening, we were lifted into the sky. Once we were in the hovercraft, we saw Peeta there…" I notice the look on Katniss's face, and I nod my head towards the door. "Katniss, Johanna, I'm going to speak about our time… there, so if you need to leave…"

Finnick tightens his grip on me, preparing himself for what I'm going to say. I've never told him in detail what they did to us in the Capitol, I don't want him to know, honestly. I see Katniss shift uncomfortably, and then Johanna leaves the room towing Trixie along with her. I'll have to thank her later. "Is Peeta around?" I mumble to Finnick. He shakes his head.

"Well, when we were in the capitol… we were starved, tortured, beat, I was raped to many times to count-" I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Strapped to the table, in my cell, in front of Johanna and Peeta. Everywhere." I open them again, seeing faces of disgust. "But they were always there to comfort me… to help me, to hold me as I cried. We weren't allowed to cry though, or we'd just end up being hit again."

I walk away from Finnick, stumbling around the stage. "That wasn't by far the worst though. We each had our own designated kind of torture. Johanna was soaked and electrocuted, from 10 Am – 1 pm…" Her screams ring through my head, and I press my hands to my ears to try to stop it. I feel Finnick's hands on mine, trying to coax me out of my little ball state. Trembling I remove my hands, "I- I was from 1pm – 4pm, and Peeta was from 4pm – 7pm." Another round of Peeta's screams happen, and I take a deep breath, trying not to scream. "P-Peeta was h-hijacked, as you all k-know… And I was a mixture of everything…"

I rest my forehead against Finnick's chest, squeezing my eyes shut. While they're closed I let it out, "I was burned, electrocuted, hijacked, beat, raped, every horror you can imagine. I can remember their favorite weapon was the baseball bat with the barbed wire on the end of it. It hooked your skin and tore it open when they pulled back." My hand reaches my arm, and I run it over a scar I know is from that weapon, It's jagged. "Another thing they used to do, that was worse than any kind of physical abuse, was that they used to play everyone's screams over and over… we could never sleep, because they would just blast it through our cell." I take a shaky breath. "By the time they rescued us I wouldn't talk to anyone. I was littled away to skin and bones, anyone came within 5 feet of me I would scream and shake."

I turn around, off of Finnick. "But I'm getting better, now. I'm working on it. I had to tell Johanna and Peeta to leave, because I know I would have triggered something in their hearts. It's too much pain to go through, again… Just talking about it brings their screams to my mind." I wince as Johanna's and Peeta's screams combine, echoing through my head. I grit my teeth, pressing my fingers to my temples. "See, screams."

The audience starts talking amongst themselves as I curl into a ball on the stage, rocking back and forth to try to get the screaming to stop. I push Finnick away when he tries to comfort me, a little harder than I should have. He simply sits across from me, waiting.

What feels like forever later, the screaming finally stop and I stand up. Finnick stands up too, and he hands me a few pills. "It will help, love." He whispers, handing them to me. I look out to the audience, seeing everyone's eyes on me.

I smirk at their shocked expressions; I can't help it. I hold up my hand of pills, "Cheers!" Then I chug them back. Their faces were priceless, I'm glad I got it on camera.

I feel extremely refreshed and better after the pills, and I put my dress back on, done talking for now. I will more than likely have to answer questions later, but as of right now I just want to have a few dances with my Finn. It's time for me to stop reopening my wounds before I bleed out.

I wipe my face, and someone hands me a wet cloth. I take it gracefully, dabbing my puffy face carefully so I don't ruin my makeup even more than I already have. After that's done I look to the crowd, "Well, that's all for now… I can't... talk about it anymore. I'm sorry. If you have any more questions, you can ask me privately later. Right now it's time for cake!" The next thing I know, a smiling Finnick grabs my hand, pulling me over to cut the cake.