Disclaimer: All the characters and places and stuff belongs to JK Rowling (:

A/N: Apologies if I didn't reply to your review last chapter.

- Chapter Thirty-four -

~ Decisions ~

Lily was pushed hard against the stone wall of the inside of the Owlery. She screamed into the hand again as she hit her head hard. In a Sarah-inspired way, she bit into the hand.

'OW, you …' the person swore repeatedly.

'Jason?' Lily spluttered, although she couldn't see in the dim-lit room. She shuddered and dropped her wand upon discovering that her mouth was full of blood.

'Quiet,' he snapped.

'What are you doing?'

'I know what you've been getting up to with your freaky friends,' he spat. 'And don't think I'm going to let you get away with this, pinning the blame on me.'

'But it is you,' said Lily.

She felt a hand slam against her face, as her head hit the wall again.

'Took you long enough to figure it out,' Jason sneered. 'And they said you were bright.'

'I was a little bit unwilling to accept the truth, that's all,' snapped Lily.

'No. You really are dim. I'm one step ahead of whatever game you pathetic lot are trying to play.'

'Yeah, right. We're going to turn you in, Downs; you're going to pay for all the people you've hurt, including James spending his time in Azkaban.'

'No, you won't,' said Jason simply.

'What?'

'No – you won't. You won't turn me in.'

'Of course we will,' Lily argued. 'Haven't I already said?'

'If you tell another soul that I have anything to do with the attacks,' Jason growled threateningly, his face far too close to Lily's, 'I'll tell Dumbledore everything about your friends.'

'What about my friends?' said Lily quietly.

'I know you know what I mean,' Jason guffawed, sounding bitter. 'I've seen you with them. See, being a vampire, you spend a lot of time not sleeping. Being me, you spend a lot of time outside. Spending a lot of time outside means you see things you shouldn't … such as three Animagi and a werewolf, or the murder of that wayward girl you claimed was your friend.'

Without thinking or even hesitating, Lily slapped Jason, hoping her handprint was clear on his cheek. 'You do not insult Aaliyah.'

'But you get where I'm coming from, right?' he said darkly. 'If you dare expose my secret, I'll expose yours. It's your choice. You know your friends will go to Azkaban for illegally becoming Animagi. So if I go, they're coming with me. Your choice, Evans.'

'I just want to know one thing,' Lily swallowed, trying to stop her voice from shaking with trepidation and fury. 'Why? Why are you doing this?'

It was a moment before Downs answered her question. 'I fell in love,' he said simply, in his normal voice. 'I wanted you from the very night I watched you getting attacked by the savage werewolf. I had thought about stepping in to help you out, but I didn't. You were strong, you were brave. Everyone knew you were bright and independent and a catch with the boys. You're very pretty, everyone likes you … you were perfect for me.

'But you had your eye on Potter. I hated how you were head over heels for him. I wanted you for myself. I didn't see what you saw in him, and I still don't. I'm just as intelligent and good-looking. Why couldn't you fall for me instead?

'I decided to drive you away from him. I wondered to myself if you would like him if he were accused of being a vampire and if you believed he had hurt innocent people. I decided you wouldn't. I thought about only taking down people who were close to him. I knew his one strength that was also his weakness: he placed far too high a value on his friends.

'I saw him in contact with that first-year in your house, that Watson girl, and I already knew about how he was quite fond of assisting younger ones. I decided to get her, and then Pettigrew, one of his best friends. I considered Black, but even I'm not that heartless. And as for Lupin … well, he was quite nice to me, I wouldn't pay him back like this.'

'And the Hufflepuff? And that Holly girl?' Lily asked, her voice barely a whisper. She had been listening too attentively, not bothering to correct him in places she would have ordinarily felt would need correcting.

'The Hufflepuff I attacked, because it would look suspicious if only Gryffindors came to harm. And Holly … I would confide in her. I used to until she turned against me, told me all I was doing was wrong. She had it coming …

'So I framed Potter, but you had already caught me with Holly. You stopped mattering, you had flown out of the picture and I could see you weren't coming back. Now it's all about escaping Azkaban, even if it does mean framing Potter.'

Lily didn't like the way he spat out James's name, as if it were something dirty.

'Even if I hadn't caught you with Holly,' said Lily, her voice full of contempt she had never heard before, 'you still wouldn't have stood a chance. You were obsessive, controlling, demanding … You were never there for me. Ever. You were always somewhere else, always too busy for me. You never put the effort in, you put me down at every chance you had … and, I just think you should know, I'm more of a cheat than you are, which, instead of disgusting me as it did before, now pleases me. James and I kissed once when I went to stay over his place for Christmas. I can't believe I wasted time feeling guilty about that.'

She was pleased to hear him counting to ten under his breath; this meant she got to him.

'Whatever,' he said through gritted teeth eventually. 'Don't turn me in. If you do, I'm taking your friends with me to Azkaban. The decision's all yours. I won't mind too much; either way, I get satisfaction.'

He pushed Lily against the wall once more and stalked off.

Lily sunk against the wall feeling hopeless. She wouldn't scream and cry as tempting as the urge to do so was; Jason would like her to cry, he would love for her to hurt. But, no, she wouldn't. There was always an agreeable way out – all she had to do was keep looking for it. She had plenty of time to think whilst patrolling in peaceful solitude that night, and, finally, she had an idea.

*.*.*

Lily began wearing a garlic necklace after her somewhat fierce confrontation with Downs. She sent word out to all of Potter's Ninjas to not speak about their prime suspect with any teachers, or any conclusions they jumped to. Surprisingly, they all obeyed, although there was a lot of uproar and unanswered questions as to why not. It was Remus, Sirius and Vanessa who eventually got the truth out of Lily, but they kept it within their circle.

'So he's seen us transform?' Sirius clarified, handing over another goblet of iced pumpkin juice for Lily's minor injuries.

'Yeah,' said Lily, thankfully accepting it. 'And he'll tell everyone you're all illegal Animagi if we put forward all the evidence we have against him.'

Sirius swore loudly; Vanessa stamped on his foot for it.

'Guys, not now,' said Lily somewhat resignedly, closing her eyes.

'I say we grass him up,' said Sirius.

'But you'll all go to Azkaban,' said Vanessa.

'Azkaban won't be too bad if we have each other, right?' said Sirius, although he sounded uncertain, rather like a scared and worried five-year-old.

'You'll probably be in separate cells,' said Lily, opening her eyes again.

'So, what, James is just gonna stay there?' said Vanessa shakily; she sounded as though she was about to cry.

Sirius fought the urge to put a comforting arm around her.

'If anyone's gonna be locked up, it should be me,' Lily sighed. 'Downs did this all for me.' She ignored Sirius miming throwing up. 'No one else should have to bear the consequences, and I'm not just saying that.'

'Lily, you didn't ask him to do anything,' said Vanessa reasonably. 'Right, Remus?'

'Yes, yes,' he replied, looking a little pale.

'What're you thinking?' she inquired.

Lily felt she already knew before he spoke; she knew him well enough.

'If only I wasn't a werewolf,' he groaned. 'You guys would never have become illegal Animagi and Downs wouldn't have blackmailed us.'

Lily's expression softened. 'Remus, you know he would've found another way of getting to us, even if James, Peter and Sirius weren't Animagi. Don't go so hard on yourself; you're not doing anyone any good. We could all throw the blame on each other and ourselves, but it won't get us anywhere. Come on, you're the brains of the group. We need you.'

Remus smiled appreciatively at the compliment and nodded, looking heartened.

'He's given us choices … we've just got to decided which choice is the right one,' said Vanessa, thinking deeply.

'What if we turn utilitarian?' said Remus.

'Turn what, sorry?' said Sirius.

'What if we look at this from a different point of view,' he said quickly. 'What if we decide to go for the happiness of the greatest number of people? You know, which choice pleases the majority of people.'

'But that means James stays locked up,' said Lily painfully, her heart sinking at the thought of James's ruined life and about his poor mother sitting inside their little cottage awaiting her son's release. What if she didn't live that long?

Lily was counting on a reply from Magda and Pat; she had sent another letter describing the situation not long after she had sent the first letter. Magda and Pat were old and wise – she felt they would know what to do. It did, however, mean letting more people in on the secret, which was never safe. But Lily took the risk.

They eventually decided to mull over their options the next day, for it was getting late and they had classes the very next day, although the idea seemed impossible with so many things going on. But none of them slept well that night, all of them being worried about the near and distant future and life without James. Some year this was turning out to be.

*.*.*

'Eat something, you guys,' Alice said positively. 'Are you all right? The two of you look absolutely dead. No offence or anything.'

'Yeah, yeah,' said Vanessa sleepily.

'Of course we're fine,' Lily mumbled, more alert than her best friend. 'Didn't get much sleep, that's all.'

'Well, you're gonna have to catch up on sleep fast,' said Cassie, 'because we have Transfiguration first, Lils.'

Lily groaned loudly.

Cassie slid over a mug to Lily.

'What?' she moaned.

'Drink it,' said Cassie, smiling out of amusement.

'It's not any of that Pepper-up Potion again, is it?' said Lily wearily. 'Because if it is, I have news for you –'

'It's just coffee,' said Cassie.

'Ew, I hate c-'

Cassie got fed up. She pulled back Lily's hair so she was facing the dismal ceiling of the Great Hall and tipped the coffee into her mouth. She choked a little, but the coffee did the trick in seconds; she was much more vigilant than before. Vanessa was forced to undergo the same treatment.

Sirius laughed at them, as he passed them on his way out of the Great Hall with Peter and Remus.

'You don't look sleepy,' Vanessa grumbled. 'Why do you not look sleepy? This is hardly fair.'

'I'm used to late nights,' he chuckled.

Vanessa stuck her tongue out at him.

'Oh, Lily, you had mail,' said Cassie, handing over to her a letter. 'You were too asleep before.'

'Thanks,' she replied, taking the letter.

It was from Magda and Pat. Their writing was mostly full of sympathies and comforting words, but it was their last few words which really got to Lily:

We have faith in your seemingly innate ability to make the right decisions.

So Lily knew what to do. She always knew what to do. Even if the consequences came out terribly, she had the right intentions. She wanted James to go out of Azkaban, and for no one she loved or cared about to go in, especially as she felt it was mostly her fault … her fault …

She looked up at the staff table; it was full, except for Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher. Maybe it was the coffee pushing her on, but she seemed to know what to do.

She ripped off her garlic necklace and threw it aside. She got up and headed for the staff table. People were staring at her already.

'Professor Dumbledore, I have a confession,' Lily said clearly.

The students nearby stopped talking and looked around; other students followed suit, wondering why everyone was so quiet all of a sudden.

'I know you'll be surprised,' she continued, 'but, please, don't be. I've been meaning to get this off my chest for a long time now.'

Dumbledore looked as though he already knew what she was going to say. 'Go on, Miss Evans.'

'Lily, no!' Vanessa squealed, also guessing what Lily was about to do next.

'I'm the vampire you've been looking for,' she said. 'You all remember how much James and I wouldn't get along? Well, I wanted to get rid of him once and for all. Only now it's gotten to my conscience. I can't go on like this. I've hurt too many people. Lock me up.'

Lily watched Filch run across to Dumbledore behind the staff table. The two had a quick discussion before Filch jogged away and out of sight. She was a better actress than she thought.

'Yep, that's right,' she said turning to everyone. 'It's me. It was all me. I had fun messing you all around,' she added derisively. 'Potter's Ninja Army – ever heard anything so ridiculous?' She hated herself for the harsh words she employed.

'No way,' a tiny Hufflepuff boy shouted. 'No!'

The babble broke out again; some people looked outraged, others understanding, others betrayed. Everyone on the staff table looked torn between curiosity and disbelief. Lily had the mad desire to laugh.

In a matter of minutes, Ministry representatives were at the scene, just as Lily had hoped for – her words were being taken seriously.

The Heads of Houses attempted to clear out the Great Hall as the bell rung, but the students were too stubborn, and soon they gave up.

'So you openly confessed to your crimes?' a tall and scary-looking one said in a deep voice.

'Yes, sir,' said Lily quietly. 'It was me all along, not James. You've got the wrong person. I wasn't in school when they took James away.'

'Why not?' the man replied shortly. 'You should always be in school during term time.'

'I had my mother's funeral to attend, sir,' she said even more quietly.

The man's expression didn't relax. 'Criminals don't stir my sympathy,' he said acidly.

Lily didn't notice Dumbledore was standing by her side, looking as if he could see right through her new charade.

'So you're the one we've been looking for all this time?' he said.

'Yes,' she replied.

'You realise you face imprisonment?'

'Yes,' she said calmly, not revealing a hint of fear.

'Well, we have a confession from the girl.'

'No!' someone shouted. 'She's not the vampire. I am.'

Lily turned, half-expecting to see Downs – it was Sirius. She grinned at him appreciatively when none of the adults were looking at her. He didn't know he was starting off a chain reaction.

Suddenly, a fifth-year girl at the Hufflepuff table stood up and said, 'Black isn't. I am.'

Plenty of students began following suit, standing up and claiming to be the vampire, confessing to crimes they hadn't committed; Lily's lip bled from her biting it in an attempt to not smile. Even Hagrid, who was positively beaming, stood up and confessed, although it didn't quite work as everyone in the Hall was well aware that Hagrid metaphorically had the hugest heart out of them all.

'So you have many confessors,' said Dumbledore serenely with a tint of contentedness, 'what shall you do? You have locked up the one who claims he is innocent, and you have before you a Hall full of people who claim that they are guilty. What decision do you make?'

The representative stared at everyone in the hall, his face conveying sheer derision and displeasure.

'I see you are all determined,' he said finally. 'Potter will have to be released, then. We have no other choice. I don't suppose we have enough cells in Azkaban for everyone. You all win.'

He and his other representatives slowly left the Great Hall in bitter defeat. An explosion of cheers took place; even a few Slytherins and McGonagall couldn't help but look overwhelmed.

Many surrounding Lily closed in on her, hugging her, congratulating her. She was practically crying with happiness, but caught Dumbledore's twinkling eyes and his thumbs up.

What very few people in the Great Hall realised was that they had only overcome one hurdle. They were going to get James back, but they couldn't get Downs locked up without James, Peter and Sirius joining him. She would worry about that later. Right now, victory – or partial victory – was sweet, and the feeling had come very rarely that year.

*.*.*

Things were almost going back to normal. James was all too jovial to be back where he belonged, the attacks had stopped and trivial matters began taking over their lives once again. But the fact that the vampire was still roaming freely among them aggravated all who knew. Jason became the least popular student in Hogwarts by far, but he appeared to be savouring the loneliness.

At that moment, the Marauders and Lily were sitting by the armchairs directly in front of the fireplace in the otherwise empty common room, and were filling James in on everything they had found out since he left. Lily could tell by reading his face that he was angered by everything Downs had put him through, but, after a quick look at Lily, he decided to say nothing, which she was grateful for.

'I still can't quite believe him,' she sniffed, blinking back tears. 'I feel so … contaminated. Why did it have to end this way? I miss him, but I hate him, but I want him back, but I wish I never met him.'

'Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say,' said Sirius darkly.

James didn't say anything; he couldn't express how envious he felt that someone who hurt her so much could still have a place in her heart. She was perched on the arm of his chair. He took her hand and squeezed it consolingly.

'Lily,' he said painfully, 'he's not worth a single tear or even a thought of yours. How can someone who's hurt you so deeply be any good for you?'

'Ordinarily, Flower,' said Sirius, standing up and stretching, 'I would revel in your sorrow. But I don't feel like it now. Prongs is right; Downs is history now, bitter history. He won't look back and think of you, so you shouldn't look back and think of him. Move on. I'm pretty sure he already has.'

Lily just stared at him with her mouth hanging open slightly, torn between mild shock and amusement.

'I'm off,' he yawned. 'You'll feel better in the morning, Flower. 'Night.'

Peter and Remus followed suit, the latter smiling warmly at Lily as he left.

She sighed loudly, unable to suppress it any longer.

'He's right, you know,' said James quietly, looking up at her. 'Downs just isn't worth anything.'

'I wish I could think like that,' she replied, staring down in his eyes.

'I don't see why you can't,' he murmured.

Lily found herself inching closer and closer towards him. Before she knew what she was doing, she had her arms around him, one hand lost in his dark and dishevelled hair. She pressed her lips gently against his, and, after a few seconds of surprise, he began responding, softly moving his mouth across hers. His right arm found the small of her back and pushed her closer to him; his other arm was wrapped around the back of her neck. She could feel him smiling slightly under her lips …

And then he roughly pushed her away. He abruptly stood up and left her without a word, hiding his face. She sat in his place in confusion, jumping when she heard his dormitory door slam.

Was that all James wanted from her? A passionate kiss? She, Lily, was just a game to him, and he had got what he wanted from her; he no longer wanted or needed her. So he really did only want her for the chase.

Wednesday 1st March 1978

A/N: Sincere apologies again. I was quite hyper while writing this. It all sounded reasonably realistic when it sprang into my mind.

If you were the compassionate-natured Lily or James and you had a way of getting Downs in Azkaban without anyone else going in with him, would or wouldn't you? Don't forget, he thought he was in l-o-v-e …