I was in the midst of putting the final touches on some of the wedding decorations the next afternoon while I thought about the previous night. Colby had totally planned all of that. In fact, I had called her out on it that morning after I finished up with my work on the farm. Sure, I had to be over at her place to fulfill a request for Reina and collect my reward, but I would have been over there right after work anyway. There really had been some soft chocolates. Colby had left them on purpose and she had never intended to come back with them. When she got tired of listening to me fuss at her, she'd waved the plate of chocolates in front of me and ended the conversation that way. I am ashamed to admit that I caved quite easily under the sway of those chocolates.

It had been a wonderful night. It really had. Any time that I ever spent with Akito was wonderful to me and it never really mattered what we were doing just as long as we were together. Whenever I was around him I was happier than any other time of the day. And I was a generally happy person so. . .yeah. The only way the night could have been better was if I had been in there in a romantic capacity as his actual date.

Ever since Akito and Courtney broke up I'd been doing a lot of thinking. I'd been thinking about all of that advice I had been given that had basically told me to go for it or else risk regretting it my entire life. All of the advice I'd been given by my mom, Colby, and even Jackson pointed straight toward me telling Akito that I had always been in love with him and then dealing with the aftermath that was sure to come. Last night, as I'd had that dinner with Akito, I'd wanted to. I'd suddenly really wanted to. For some unknown reason I had felt unaccountably brave. Maybe I was finally just reaching my limit of secrets and longing and always never knowing for sure. . .I'd wanted to open up my mouth and say "So, Ki, I hate to spring this on you now, but you've owned my heart for about half of my life."

Well, maybe not those exact words, but I had wanted to get the idea across to him somehow. The thing was, though, it hadn't been too long since my relationship with Jackson came to an end and it certainly hadn't been that long since Akito broke up with Courtney. I didn't want to make it seem as if. . .as if I was trying to turn him into a rebound and didn't really feel as deeply about him as I did. Or, if on the extremely slight off-chance he did say he wanted to give something with me a go, I didn't want to feel like I was a rebound after his breakup with Courtney.

I had spent so much time after Courtney came to town thinking that I should have told him sooner. There were so many days filled with me lingering on my regrets and what ifs, wondering what might have happened if I had opened up my mouth before the day of the Hand Fishing contest. I hadn't thought I would get another chance, but Courtney was gone and I had a chance now. I had the chance to tell this romantically unattached man all the things I had held back for so long. Yet, there I was hesitating once again. Something was different now, though. Something was distinctly different. Finally, I had every intention of telling him. I was terrified, but I planned to tell him. The thing was, I just needed a little more time to go by before I made my move. The last thing I wanted was for him to think he was a rebound.

I heard something hit my window and that snapped me out of my thoughts. I froze right in the middle of cutting a ribbon and turned my head toward the window. Something hit it again and my heart kind of stalled in my chest. There was only one person I knew with a tendency to throw stuff at my window. I dropped the ribbon and scissors and jumped up, hurrying over to the window and parting the curtains.

There he was, standing in the middle of the snow with his silvery-white hair making him look like he absolutely belonged. He was all bundled up against the cold, looking warm and perfectly at ease. He had a snowball in his hand and I noticed the remnants of the ones he had already thrown sticking to the glass of my window. His eyes were fixed on me and they were just as bright and green as I remembered. Jackson was finally back!

I hurried to pull on a pair of boots and grabbed a coat. I was almost afraid he'd just disappear before I made it out the front door. Maybe I just imagined him out there to begin with. But no, he didn't disappear. When I closed the front door behind me he was right where I'd seen him. The two of us kind of stood there for a minute silently assessing each other. There he was, my ex, my cousin, my friend. I wasn't sure how to approach him though. I wasn't really sure how he wanted me to approach him and that made me feel uncertain. Suddenly, though, he dropped the snowball from his hand and opened up his arms. I took his invitation as I closed the distance between us. I threw my arms around him and let him envelope me with his. As I breathed in that familiar scent of grass I smiled against his chest.

"I'm home, Vi," he told me as we dropped our arms and pulled away from each other at last.

Just like that, all the awkwardness was gone again and being around him felt normal. It felt right. I reached up and pulled his face to me before I placed a kiss on his cheek, just like I always had. It was a special kiss that I had usually always reserved for my cousin. "Welcome home Jack." Then, I pushed him on the chest. "It's about time! Some best man you are, staying gone so long."

Jackson laughed at me and put his arms in front of himself in defense. "I know, Violet. Really, I do. I honestly didn't mean to stay away this long. Things really started to line up for me while I was away and those gigs went even better than expected. Before I knew it, I was committed to more than I had originally planned. Seriously, though, I plan to be by Makoto's side so much from now on that even Keiko will get tired of me."

It was my turn to laugh because Keiko normally didn't get tired of anybody. Well, unless your name was Courtney, but that was a special case. "Your trip was good then? I'm so happy to hear that."

"Better than good!" he enthused. "In fact, at the beginning of spring I'm leaving out again for a little while. More gigs have already been set up and I really can't complain about having employment now can I?"

The thought of him leaving again so soon made me sad, but then again that was how it had always been with Jackson and his music. He was in and out of town, usually for uncertain amounts of time. It had been a slow year for him up until now and I had been in the city for so long that I'd never had to see him come and go like that. I could and would adjust, though. My days of paranoia about running Jackson out of town were over. Jackson wasn't running away anywhere. He would always come back.

"It's not about employment and you know it. Music is fun for you. Getting money for it is just a bonus." That was true. Maybe that was why I had felt so drawn to drawing Jackson that day we had our first date. Whenever he was playing music there was a certain sense of peace and happiness about him that I was pretty sure I got whenever I was in the zone working on an artistic project.

He flashed me that dimple again as he grinned. "It's nice to get that bonus, but you are right."

Something occurred to me then that I had to ask. "By the way, Jack, did you get that chocolate I sent you for Winter Harmony?"

He gave me two thumbs up. "I did. It was delicious and I felt like I was getting a piece of home. You timed that out just right. I'm guessing you went to my mom and asked about my schedule like I suggested?"

"Yep," I admitted as one of our cats brushed against my legs before moving on her way.

"Thanks, Vi. It was nice not to be forgotten even though I was away from home," he told me earnestly as he gave me another hug.

"You're welcome." I thought back to that last conversation we'd had. Before I had ran into Jackson in the town square, there were all these things I'd felt I needed to talk to him about. There were all these things I had felt I needed to say to him after our relationship came to an end. Our conversation had been pretty one sided, though, and I had let him tell me all the things he had felt he needed to say. Now that I was finally about to talk to him again, though, all those things I had felt needed to be said suddenly didn't matter anymore. They were insignificant. There was something that I did want to say to him, though. "Look. I know that we've established that we're definitely cousins, Jack. And I want you to know that I agree with you. I think we're going to be just fine and I can already feel that we're getting there. I want you to know that I'm always going to be your friend and if the least I can do is send you something chocolate then hey, I'm gonna do that."

I heard him take a deep breath and then exhale before he answered with "I'm glad to hear that, Violet. I really am."

When we stepped back I asked "Hey, do you want to come inside and get something hot to drink? Maybe a snack?"

Jackson shot me an apologetic look. "I'd love to, but I really wanted to get a quick start on making my absence up to Makoto. You know, if I don't start crushing this best man role then Akito might try to jump in and make a case in his favor again."

"And you can't have that happening now can you?" I asked with an amused shake of my head.

"Nope. Anyway, I'll take a rain check. Maybe sometime soon we can have a bite to eat at the cafe or something. I guess it doesn't matter where or what just as long as we can catch up some more before I head out again."

I nodded at that. "Sounds good."

"Oh, one last thing," he told me as he started walking backward down the driveway. "Your birthday is tomorrow. Don't think I've forgotten that. I wasn't going to miss the big wedding, but I wasn't going to miss your special day either."

With that said, he turned around and walked away. I watched him go with a good feeling building up in my chest. For a brief time Jackson had been something more to me, but ultimately he really was my cousin. And I, Violet Drayton, was at peace with that. That peaceful feeling stayed with me the rest of the day.

The next day was that one day out of the whole year that was completely about me. I hadn't really been thinking about it all that much. And by that I mean I had done my best not to think about it at all because I was turning the big two five. Twenty-five. Just like that, a quarter of my life had blown by. You see, whenever you are a kid and a teenager you are always eager for your birthday to come around. You are always eager to grow up. Yay, one year older! One year closer to adulthood and freedom and whatnot! Except, there comes a time when you are an adult when you view your birthday with far less enthusiasm and realize there's this thing called aging and then all of a sudden your birthday isn't such a grand thing. Well, unless you're Keiko or Willow, in which case you look younger than average and won't have to worry about such things for a long while.

"Good morning!" my family chimed as I entered the kitchen for the birthday breakfast I'd been expecting and looking forward to.

"Aww, for me you guys? You shouldn't have," I told them as I passed out hugs and kisses. I ruffled Oliver's hair and he gave me a slightly irritated look before he remembered it was my birthday and switched over to a smile. My dad had my usual chair pulled out for me helped me take my seat.

"This is the first time you've been home for your birthday in a long time," my mom gushed as she sat my plate down in front of me. "I think we really should have."

"Happy birthday, baby," my dad said as he leaned down and kissed me on top of my head.

"Ooh, a farmer's breakfast! Thanks you guys!" I said as they took their seats and I took a bite. It was spicy. "Dad, did you add some cayenne to mine?" When he nodded I raised my hand and managed to get a hi-five out of him.

My mom was right. I hadn't been home for my birthday in a long time and I had to admit to myself that there was a party of me that had been looking forward to my birthday all year even if I'd been dreading turning twenty-five. I'd been looking forward to spending the day with them.

"So, do you have any special plans today?" mom asked over the top of her coffee cup as she held it in front of her mouth.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. After we're done with the farm work I think I'll go and see if there are any interesting requests up on the board."

"Vi, you really should aim higher than that," Oliver said disapprovingly.

I was being chastised by my little brother because I wasn't trying to make my birthday into a big deal? I looked over at my dad for a little backup since he didn't like too much attention heaped upon him and always preferred a relatively quiet birthday.

"He's right, Violet. You deserve to have a great day," my father told me.

Traitor.

"Look, I'm fine with a quiet day. If it'll make you guys feel any better to know, Colby mentioned her and the girls have something special planned for me around noon. How's that?"

"Better," mom joined in cheerfully. "I'm sure those three have cooked something nice up between them. Just don't forget, sweetie, to be home in time for dinner. Don't be late okay?"

"Oh, I'll be here five minutes early, even," I assured her. There was no way I was going to be late to my own birthday dinner. I usually requested stew, but considering I'd just cooked some with Akito I told my mom to feel free to surprise me. I was sure that whatever she whipped up was bound to be ridiculously delicious.

After breakfast I proceeded with working on the farm as usual. I was in the barn brushing one of our horses, Maron, minding my own business when it happened.

"When's your birthday, hmm?" Maron was born when I was eighteen, before I left for college. I'd taken very good care of her before I headed off to my new life and she'd remembered me right away when I came back home. "Ah, I remember. It's in spring, isn't it? I think I'll bring you an extra special horse treat that day to celebrate the occasion," I promised her.

"I'm sure she'll like that," I heard a familiar voice say from out of nowhere.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Akito strolling into the barn. I almost dropped the brush on the ground. And by that, I mean it slipped from my hand, but I caught it in mid-air.

I cleared my throat and struggled for composure even though I was so surprised to see him there. "Akito." I didn't even stutter on his name. Booyah! "Hey, what are you doing here in my neck of the woods?"

"Looking for you," he admitted easily as he stopped right next to me. He smelled like he took a bath in a washing machine and hung himself out on a clothes line to dry in the winter air. Fresh and crisp.

Before I knew it, he took the brush right out of my hand, his fingers grazing mine in the process, and started brushing the horse. Still, I kept my composure. "Really? What's up?" Then it dawned on me. "Oh yeah, did you come to wish me a happy birthday?"

He shot me a confused look before he said "Wait, it's your birthday?" When my eyebrows shot up and my mouth fell open a little, he started laughing. "I'm just joking, Vi. You're right. I came here because it's your birthday. Well, not that I need an excuse like that to come see you, but. . .Well, happy birthday."

"Thanks, Ki. I'm. . .I'm glad that you came to see me." I stood there watching him brush the horse with the same patience and care he applied to most everything else and I felt like I could have watched him all day.

He finished up quicker than I would have liked, though, and held the brush out to me. I was putting it away as he said "It's your birthday, Vi. You couldn't take one day off from work and. . .I don't know, pamper yourself?"

I laughed a little at that. "Pamper myself? How, Ki?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Do some sketching? Stuff yourself full of delicious food? Take the world's hottest bubble bath since you have an abnormally high tolerance for scalding hot water? Knowing you, you could probably do all three at the same time."

"That actually sounds delightful. I think I actually might do that later before I go to bed," I said kind of wistfully as I considered how I was going to keep my sketchbook dry and food crumbs out of my bathwater.

"You should. It's your birthday, Violet. I understand that you have this need to work yourself to the bone because you want to help your mom out so badly. Do something for yourself today, though, okay?"

"Geez, you always have me pegged so accurately," I mumbled.

Akito suddenly looked unaccountably nervous. "You know, I didn't just come to wish you a happy birthday," he told me, putting a hand in the pocket of his coat. "I. . ."

"Violet, your," my dad said as he entered the barn. He stopped short, though, when he spotted Akito next to me. He stood there looking at Akito as if he were weighing him on a scale and I had no idea what the numbers on this scale meant.

"Good morning, Mr. Drayton," Akito said politely as he crossed the barn and shook my father's hand.

"Good morning, Akito," dad said as he gave Akito's hand a firm shake, still giving him that look. "Did you come to wish my daughter a happy birthday?"

"Yes, sir. Actually, I also came because Willow sent me to escort her to what the girls have planned for her. In fact, I'm her designated personal escort for the entire day."

Behind Akito, I couldn't stop myself from grinning ear to ear. If it being my birthday meant I got to have Akito walk me everywhere then being a year older wasn't all that bad.

"Is that so?" my dad said as he shifted his emerald gaze over at me. I immediately schooled my features, but I was pretty sure he already saw that goofy grin.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" my mom said as she materialized out of nowhere. She immediately went over to Akito and gave him a kiss on each cheek and then ruffled his hair like I tended to do to Oliver. "It's so nice to see you over here, Akito."

"It's nice to be here, ma'am. I trust you're doing well today?"

"I am," she confirmed before she turned to my dad. "I just sent Cam here to tell Violet to get out of here and find something fun to do." She looked at me and said "Isn't it about time for you to go meet up with your friends?"

I stepped forward, next to Akito, and responded with "Yeah. I guess it's a good thing my personal escort is here. It's his job to take me to them."

"Right. We should go soon before Willow or Colby make sure I mysteriously go missing," Akito said as he held his arm out in offering to me. It was the same arm he'd always safeguarded from Courtney. It was my arm. I accepted it.

Mom laughed at Akito's joke and smiled at dad in some strange kind of way. It looked kind of, I don't know, triumphant? "Don't forget to be back in time for dinner," mom reminded me again. "Have fun."

Akito nodded politely to my parents as we made our exit and I heard my dad reluctantly mumble something to my mom about Akito being a respectful young man.

I stopped about ten feet from the barn to say bye to some of the animals crowding around me. Akito watched with a little smile on his face. I guess it was refreshing for him to be around a woman who loved animals after spending all that time with Courtney.

When we made it to the end of the driveway and turned onto the main road, I hit him with "Am I starting to look old?"

To my amazement, he actually stumbled instead of me. "Excuse me, what was that question?"

I repeated it. "Am I starting to look old?"

Other people might have laughed at my question. Jackson, I knew, certainly would have because he would have thought the question was just that silly. Akito, though, stopped walking and looked down at me with concern. "What is this about, Vi? Is it because you just turned," he started.

"Don't say it," I warned.

"Twenty-five?"

I groaned. "Yes." I let out a sigh as I looked up at him. "That's a petty, vain concern to have isn't it?

Akito shook his head with a frown. "It's not petty or vain. I think everybody comes to a point where they start worrying about things like that. It's just a part of getting older. When we're kids, that's the last thing on our minds. When we're adults, though, we start to value the things we took for granted back then. Like youth."

"Ah, youth. Come back to me."

"We're still young, though, Vi. It's really not something you should be worrying about for a while yet. In fact, it's not something you should really be worrying about at all. I'm positive you're going to age gracefully. In twenty years, you're going to look just like your mom does now."

"You really think so?" I asked, trying not to feel stupid that I was worrying about such things.

Akito nodded and started walking again. "I do. In twenty years or so we might have a few wrinkles between us and our hair will be sprinkled with gray. We'll be okay, though. If our parents can handle it then so can we."

I started laughing then and he shot me one of those questioning looks. "Sorry, it's just. . .Remember when you told me that Makoto was going to propose to Keiko? And I felt so young and. . .I don't know, immature in comparison?"

"Ah, irony," he said with a little smirk. "Yes, ma'am, I remember that. We were on the bridge."

I felt very pleased that he remembered exactly where we were when that conversation happened.

"I felt inadequately young then and here I am worrying that I'm getting old. Sometimes, there's just no pleasing me is there?"

Akito raised an eyebrow as he asked "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Well. . ."

Before I could say no, he told me "Sometimes we have trouble figuring things out. Sometimes we contradict ourselves. Sometimes we think one thing and then think another. Sometimes we don't know exactly what we want. So there are times when there really is no pleasing ourselves. Eventually, though, I think we get our heads where they need to be in order to figure out what we want."

I let what he said sink in before I asked him "Are we talking about me now or you?"

He looked a little surprised as he gave that some thought, as if he went somewhere he wasn't expecting to. With a shrug of one shoulder he told me "I guess we somehow ended up talking about me."

"So," I started as I watched him start to look a little nervous if that look off to the side indicated anything. "Since you brought it up. . .Now that Courtney is out of the picture. . ." 'Thank the Harvest Goddess,' I thought. "Do you know what you want, Ki?"

Akito came to a stop and extracted his arm from mine before turning to face me head-on and looked me dead in the eyes. "I do, Vi. The crazy thing is, I've known exactly what I want all along. I've just spent a ridiculous amount of time telling myself I can't have it."

His statement shocked me because it hit a little too close to home considering the war I constantly had going on inside of me. It also reminded me about a conversation we'd had in Buena Vista about something completely different than the topic at hand. Akito had said something very similar at the time, though, something about knowing what he wanted and having known it all along. "So what are you going to do?" I questioned, feeling strangely hot in the frigid winter weather.

He gave me that new smile again, the one he'd started wearing after Courtney left, before he said "I'm done with that negativity. I don't like it so I'm going to change it. How can I tell myself I can't have what I want if I don't at least try to get it? At that point, the only person stopping me is me. So I'm done stopping myself. I'm going after what I want."

For some reason I felt like the question I had stirring inside of me, while simple, was significant. "And what do you. . ."

"We're here," he interrupted me as he motioned toward the door of the cafe. I was shocked because the trip there seemed to pass by remarkably fast. I was also shocked by his abrupt change of subject when I felt that I was really on to something.

'What do you want, Akito?' I wondered as he escorted me inside the cafe and I had lunch with the girls.

'What do you want, Akito?' I wondered as I made it home in time to act surprised by the party I had suspected all along that my mom was going to throw.

'What do you want, Akito?' I wondered while I stared at the dark ceiling above my bed as sleep alluded me. 'Because I know what I want. And soon, I'm going to go after it, too.'