A/N: Hi guys. So I want to thank you guys for the talk about the last chapter. Not only was it one of my favourite chapters, the flashback was something I loved exploring. I cannot thank Sallyannerenee, NightReader22, Xeraphina Laurentia, hectatess, spnfanforlife, and talknerdy2meh more for the reviews.

Okay, the low-down for this chapter. It's tagged to 2x13, Houses of the Holy. I'm torn about this episode. I like that the writers started to explore religion in a show so heavily influenced by lore. But, I hated that Sam was so easily taken in by the supposed 'angel'. I guess it speaks a lot to his character. I guess this is me acting through Dean, trying to figure out why Sam is so dependent upon his beliefs. Anyway, this one is more Dean-centric. I hope it works. Please review!

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Honestly, not a thing.

belief, n.

Dean could remember a time when he had been enough for his family.

He'd been Momma's little helper, her angel, her first miracle.

He'd been Daddy's little champ, then the caregiver of the family, then Dad's little soldier. He'd been trained from a young age to be not only the perfect killer, but also the perfect caretaker, capable of providing for both John and Sam at the same time.

For Sam, he'd gone from being his big brother, to his caregiver, to his favourite person, to his best friend. To Dean, it felt like a natural progression. To Sam, it was one more strike against being normal.

Sam's leaving was the final strike against whatever faith Dean had left. After everything he'd given up, Dean had hoped that maybe, perhaps, he would be rewarded. Maybe, he'd actually get to keep something in his life. Dad was always away on business. Mom was dead. Why did everyone he loved keep leaving him? A benevolent God wouldn't have taken everything away from him, He would have rewarded him.

Pastor Jim had tried to convince him to have faith from a young age, but had little to no success.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, Young Dean," he often said. Dean always responded with a scoff before scurrying off to find out what his baby brother had gotten into during his distraction.

Dean didn't care about mysterious ways. He didn't believe in things he couldn't see. He believed in ghosts and ghouls, and vampires and werewolves, and demons and every other evil thing out there in the dark because he could see them. He knew how to spot them and he knew how to kill them.

He believed in Sam. He believed in the strength of their brotherhood, because it was something he could see. He saw Sam fighting for him, and he knew that he was fighting for Sam. He saw the way that Sam was fighting the supposed evil within him, and Dean knew that he would do whatever it took to save his brother.

Dean believed in actions. He saw the various ways he and Sam had fought to be together. He believed in them. He believed in his little brother. God was just words on a page. Words that contradicted each other and gave no hard evidence that there was such a God out there who cared about his children.

Dean didn't believe in God. His mom was dead, his dad was dead, Sammy was 'supposed' to turn evil. Dean's life was falling down around him, and he knew that praying wouldn't solve anything.

Finding out that Sam prayed was like a kick in the stomach. There had been a time, a long time ago, when his words had been enough for Sam. Big Brother knew all the answers. Big Brother could solve all the problems. Now, Big Brother paled in comparison to some all-knowing being that could potentially save Sam from damnation.

"You're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe…"

Dean hated it, but he supposed it made sense. He had never been enough for Sam, not really. Not since Sam was a baby, at least. Sam had wanted friends, and school, and sports, and theatre, and all of the other dorky extra-curricular activities that he could fit into an eight-hour school day. Dean had been easier to satisfy. Give him training, the Impala, and his brother, and he was good to go. He'd never needed anything extra; he'd never even thought to want it.

It was the same with religion. Sam needed something outside of the family and the family business; Dean didn't. Sam needed something to believe in, something that didn't come home bleeding or smelling of booze or who actually made it home, rather than just not coming home at all. Dean had enough faith in their father to believe that he was a superhero, so what could God do that his Dad couldn't? God didn't prevent any of the misery in their lives, and Dean couldn't get behind believing in a being that refused to help his father or his brother.

Still, Dean wasn't one to begrudge Sam anything. Sure, some of his decisions pissed him off royally, but he would never try to stop him from doing or believing in anything that wasn't harmful to him. Just because Dean didn't believe, it didn't mean that Sam didn't have to as well.

"Maybe what?" Dean was honestly curious. What was it about this absentee father figure that made Sam reach out and believe in Him?

"Maybe I could be saved…" Sam trailed off with a nervous chuckle. Of course. The only thing that had been banging around in baby brother's head since he stupidly shared their father's last words. When would Sam get it? Dean hadn't shared that hateful message with his brother so that he could wallow over his impending 'fate'. He had shared it so that Sam would understand when Dean began tearing the world apart to save his brother. "But, uh, you know, that just clouded my judgment, and you're right. I mean, we've gotta go with what we know, with what we can see, with what's right there in front of our own two eyes."

Dean didn't want to disagree. He still believed that God wouldn't have taken so much from so many people if He was the All Powerful Being everyone thought He was, but Sam just looked so sad that it had been the ghost of Father Gregory instead of a feather and halo angel.

So he told Sam what he thought he needed to hear. The incident with the douche in the car hadn't changed anything for him, not really. But if Sam wanted to believe that the sky was orange with green polka dots, or that a guy with rainbow suspenders hung out with him when they were away on hunts, then who was he to take that belief away from him?

"The way he died, if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes I never would have believed it. I mean, I don't know what to call it."

"What? Dean, what did you see?" The kid just looked so hopeful, it damn near broke his heart.

"Maybe…God's will."

A/N: So...there you go! Happy long weekend, and happy Labor Day to all my American and Canadian friends (not sure if anybody else celebrates Labor Day, so if it does, happy Labor Day to you too!). Please review this one guys! I need some inspiration to keep writing!