Heard it on the News

¤¤¤5 DAYS AND 5 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

Someone banged like crazy on the door, and Ryuichi almost thought someone was trying to break in, but when he saw Touma's huge, distorted face through the fish eye in the door he happily slammed it open. "Toumaaa!" he exclaimed and launched himself at the visitor. "Come in, come in! What a pleasant surprise na no da!" He laughed merrily.

Touma crossed the threshold and almost looked shy as he nervously surveyed their surroundings. "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, but I was wondering if I could stay here for a while? Because of the unfortunate circumstances, Eiri has asked me to leave him alone for some time," he explained as he was led into the roomy living room.

"Ah, still haven't found anything, have they?" Ryuichi stated knowingly and nodded to himself.

Touma fidgeted. "Uh, well..."

"Want some herbal tea? I was just making some for myself. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable, and I will be back in a sec."

He brought them tea and tiny biscuits on a tray and carefully placed it on the small coffee table. The TV was on; he had been watching one of his favorite game shows. Now the news were on, but neither of them paid much attention to it.

"Here you go," Ryuichi said as he placed one of the small cups in front of his friend. "So, how are you holding up, Touma?"

The president took a long sip at his tea. "This is delicious," he said. Then he set the cup back down on its small plate. He looked mighty uncomfortable. "Um, Ryuichi-san... I see that you have adopted a more serious air...?"

The Grasper singer raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Who? Me? Oh, but I've always been serious, I just haven't been comfortable with showing that side of myself to that many people, is all," he confided. "I've been serious with you before, haven't I? Briefly, I admit, but still... Why?"

Seguchi shrugged. "I just meant to say... I know how you feel, Ryuichi-san. Trying to reach out to him but never getting the response you desire." His eyes became dreamy and distant. "Being shut out when all you want is to be close to him, love him, know everything there is to know about him."

Ryuichi knitted his eyebrows suspiciously. "Okaaay... But Touma, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. Or who you're talking about, for that matter."

Touma boldly met his eyes. "I'm talking about my cousin."

Ryuichi flinched as if the president had hit him in the face with something cold and blunt. "How... how did you...?" he breathed with bafflement.

The blond shacho smiled warmly. "I'm the president, remember. I know everything that goes on within my company," he joked, but it did not sound all that jocular. Maybe he was too exhausted to muster even the slightest bit of humor. "I understand he's the reason you're unhappy."

"Oh." Ryuichi did not know what else to say. He felt extremely awkward with Touma knowing exactly what was going on. He thought they had managed to keep it quiet, that they're 'relationship' had gone unnoticed to people around them. But maybe his plan to make Suguru jealous had backfired and exposed their secret instead of naturally turning it into an open relationship.

God knew he had only pushed the boy away instead of bringing them closer together.

"But you didn't sound as if you were speaking about me, Touma. You sounded as if you were speaking about yourself. There anything you wanna talk to me about, Touma?" A lame attempt to guide the conversation away from him and make Touma forget all about the singer's supposed relationship with Fujisaki.

A faint smile temporarily brightened the mellow man's features. "I was, wasn't I?" He laughed briefly. "I guess I was speaking about Eiri-kun. He's getting more and more difficult to reach..."

The news reporter's voice suddenly broke through to both of them.

"... vocalist who had been missing for four days has now been pronounced dead. Evidence was found that Shindou Shuichi, age 21, was killed by his kidnappers somewhere between Tuesday and Thursday, and his body was later dumped in the Tone three hours outside of Tokyo. The body has not yet been found, but the police assures that their resources will ensure them a finding within the next few weeks. The police are still looking for the people responsible for the abduction on Shindou-san, and the charges have now been changed from kidnapping to first degree murder. The young singer's family and band member's mourn his death, and Shindou-san's partner, the novelist Yuki Eiri, lets us know that the funeral will be held next Monday."

Ryuichi stared at the TV screen with disbelief. As the news reporter's words started to sink in, his hands began to shake so badly he dropped the china tea kettle on the floor. It smashed. "What...?" he whispered, still staring at the screen although they had now moved over to sports. "Touma, is this true?" he asked weakly. "Is he... dead?"

The president was silent for a very long time before answering. "Yes."

A strange squealing half-meowl escaped Ryuichi, and he hastily covered his mouth with his right hand in an attempt to control the violent sobs that shook him. He rocked back and forth, bent forward, squealing with every sob. Fat tears fell from his eyes and onto his lap.

Touma instantly put his arms around his arched back. "Oh my God, Ryuichi... I didn't know you'd take it this hard, I..."

"Why didn't you tell me, Touma?" Ryuichi peeped accusatory. "Why... why didn't you... tell me? You knew... you knew he was dead... and you didn't tell me?"

"I am so sorry, Ryuichi-san. I meant to tell you, I tried to tell you, but I just couldn't... I couldn't bear being the one to tell you. I am so sorry."

"And so you let me... hear it on the news? Fuck you, Touma. You should've told me. Hell, you've known for more than a day. Oh, my God, Shuichi I am so sorry... I didn't know..."

His heart broke at the thought of Shuichi being dead for more than a day – possibly even two or three days – without him even acknowledging it – without him even knowing about it! He had been dead for so many hours, and Ryuichi had not even paid his respects... He was supposed to be one of Shuichi's best friends. His senpai.

Brokenhearted and in excruciating pain, he embraced Touma and cried. He cried for many hours. And when the tears finally subsided he could only think of one thing.

"Does Suguru know?" he asked the president.

Touma shook his head slowly. "No. Not unless he's heard it on the news, too."

Ryuichi rose from the couch. "I have to tell him," he announced and searched for his mobile phone. He found it and punched the speed dial.

"Hello?" that beloved voice said a short while later.

"Suguru, it's me. Please don't hang up on me, I have to tell you something. I..." He had to stop for a moment not to cry wretchedly again. Just the thought of saying it aloud – Shuichi's dead – made the pain worse and more acute again. As if it would not be true if none of them spoke it aloud.

As if he would miraculously come back if none of them ever mentionen the word "dead" in the same sentence as his name.

The other end of the line was unnaturally quiet. Then: "Sakuma-san, are you crying?"

"No," Ryuichi hurried to say. It was just a reflex. "I mean, yeah, I am. I'm... Touma's here with me, and he's just told me... I mean, I saw it on the news first, but then he told me and..." He began to sob violently again. Touma reached out for him, but he brushed the shacho away.

"Sakuma-san... er, what are you talking about? I'm sorry, but I don't understand..."

Had Suguru been there then, Ryuichi probably would have kissed him. It touched him that the boy was willing to cast his angry attitude aside out of respect for him when he was upset. He sounded genuinely concerned and almost tender.

Ryuichi had wanted to hear him speak like that to him for so long that he almost began to cry because of that instead. But then he remembered that Shuichi was dead, and his heart clogged up with emotion again.

"Suguru... he's dead," he said in despair. "Shuichi's dead."

It was silent for so long he wondered if he'd gone deaf.

"Are you sure?" The boy sounded weak – shocked. "I mean, are they sure...?"

"Yes. Obviously they found some sort of evidence he'd been dumped in the river..."

"I was afraid of that when Hiro found the shoe," Fujisaki confessed, "but I never thought... I hoped..."

"Oh, Suguru, I am so sorry. You were so close to him, playing together and everything..."

"But you were closer, weren't you? All your stupid competitions aside, you were great friends." He hesitated for a while. Then: "Thank you for telling me."

Ryuichi was incredulous. " 'Thank you for telling me'? That's all?"

"What do you want me to say? 'Come over and I'll comfort you'? It's over, Sakuma-san. I've already told you that a dozen times. Listen, I gotta go. Akiko's making dinner…"

He hung up.

Ryuichi could not believe it. He sank down onto the arm of the couch. Stared out into thin air.

"Ryuichi-san? What's wrong?"

"He's with his girlfriend," the singer said numbly. "I don't know, but I kind of hoped that he..." He fell silent again. It was too painful to talk about. Too painful even to think about. With a resigned sigh, he said, "At least I have the comfort of knowing that you'll have a chance on your dream man now."

Touma moaned and rubbed his temples. "Don't say that," he asked. "I do not want to turn Shuichi's unfortunate death around to my advantage."

"But you can do it if you want to," Ryuichi pointed out darkly. "You can have your Yuki Eiri, but I have no one. Everyone I care about have left me."