Chapter 34

Dean couldn't form a single coherent thought as he sat on the hood of the Impala drinking another beer. Not because he was drunk, because he wasn't, but because his mind was spiraling one thousand tiny little thoughts and fears all at once. He was trying to think positively, but there was nothing to think about other than Castiel lying there in that hospital bed tied up to all those wires and tubes and a breathing machine of all things. Dean stared at his empty beer bottle and suddenly whipped it at a nearby tree and it shattered. He heard a small whine from behind him before his most favorite fuzzy companion sat down beside his car.

"I tried to get here," Titan apologized. "But I took too long."

"You act like this is your fault." Dean replied, taking another beer from the six pack case and opening it.

"Well so do you."

"It is my fault." Dean took another drink.

"Pray tell," Titan scratched his ear. "Why is all of this your fault?"

"Cas sold his grace for me," Dean explained. "His pain, this suffering he's feeling right now it's because of me."

"That may be true," Dean stared at the hound and he whined again, flattening his ears a little and regretting his choice of words. "But you ever stop and think that maybe this was a personal choice for Cas?"

Dean stayed silent.

"You've chosen to ignore the poetic justice in this but I sure as Hell haven't," Titan's outburst caught Dean off guard and he stared at the hound. "Castiel has given everything for you over the years that I have been observing you guys from Heaven and then from your living room rug. Whether you two want to keep dancing around like awestruck idiots or you wanna do something about each other is completely up to you, but all I know is that Dean things like this they don't come along all that often. I would know. I've lost something like that and I did it by making the wrong choice. Now I can't have that other right choice ever again."

"You and?" Dean inquired.

"Nobody you know," Titan replied. "Point is Dean; I'm begging you for the love of my Father. Don't be me."

A few moments of silence passed before either party spoke. Titan kept his watchful eyes forward and Dean stared off aimlessly into the distance. He was taking Titan's words in and trying to process them. He hadn't much luck in processing much of anything for the last few hours. Castiel was caught somewhere between life and death and Dean still couldn't make up his damn mind. Even Titan saw it. When the dog knew, he knew it had to be more. Didn't it?

"Sam's bringing home pizza from a local place on main street," Dean turned his attention back to Titan, who had gotten up and started padding away towards the bunker. "He wants you to eat something."

"I'll be inside in a minute." Dean finished his final beer and looked at the dashboard clock on the Impala. It read 6pm. Visitors hours were until 11pm and Dean fully intended to be there that night. The radio in the Impala was playing some unknown college station nearby with peaceful music.

"What happened to the classic channel," Titan asked. "I thought you always liked classic rock?"

"I just thought I'd switch it up for once." Dean replied and it was almost as though the hound smirked before he ran off inside the bunker.

"Finally."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-

"Yeah we just finished up dinner actually," Sam spoke into the phone with Jody after clearing the dishes away from the table and watching Dean retreat to his room once again and Titan to his favorite spot on the living room rug. Dean started playing music loudly and Titan let out a big yawn before curling up into a ball and resting his head on his front paws. "I take it this isn't really a social call though sheriff?"

"Not a hunt either," Jody replied as she drove along with Alex shotgun in his cruiser. The teenager was eating cheese popcorn and Jody was keeping a close eye on her so that she wouldn't rub the orange gunk all over her upholstery. "I was just wondering what the 411 was."

"Things are," Sam sighed. "Things are certainly going ways I hadn't expected."

"Is that Genesis I hear playing in the background?"

"Dean's on some new music kick."

"Something must've happened then," Jody replied. "It's not like Dean to give up his classic rock."

"Cas is in the hospital Jody..." Sam interrupted and there was a pregnant pause in the receiver.

"Oh," Jody's realization hit hard. "Do you need me to-?"

"No," Sam said. "I think we'll be fine. Dean's probably headed there now. He's gonna spend every waking moment there from what I can see until Cas wakes up."

Sam lowered his voice.

"If he wakes up."

"Well from what I can remember you Winchesters don't take too well to ifs," Jody said. "I'm sure Dean will do something heroically stupid to get him back to him. I know I've wanted to. God knows I understand what it's like to miss someone that much."

"He won't talk to me," Sam sighed. "Not since he came back. I mean we're talking, but we haven't really...talked."

"Just give it time Sam," Jody smiled and though Sam couldn't see her he almost felt it. "Wait til' Cas is up and about and then you'll finally have that brotherly moment you two so need. Alex I swear if you rub cheese popcorn dust on my seat I will murder you and leave no evidence. Sam I gotta go, talk to you when I can next."

"Bye Jody." Sam let out a little chuckle and hung up on the cop. Sam walked over to the couch and sat down. He reached behind the Angelhound below him and scratched the top of his head. Titan's tail started to wag and the hound leaned into Sam's touch. Sam smiled when Titan rolled onto his side, legs up like a regular dog, and motioned for Sam to rub his tummy.

"Sometimes I feel like you're the only thing keeping me sane pal."

"Happy to be of service Sam." Titan's foot kicked when Sam petted the more wiry hairs on his belly. A whoosh of wings was heard a second later and Sam looked up to see a face he never thought he'd ever see again.

"Hey kiddo," Gabriel's voice was low, quiet; it was almost like he'd lost all sense of his childlike personality. "Can we talk?"

"Um sure," Sam started to stand, but then Gabriel whisked them away in a flash within his wings and they were standing in the local park in Lebanon with the night sky's stars twinkling above them.

"Not there," Gabriel sighed and after the leaves settled from their recent landing he sat down on a nearby park bench and started to stare up at the stars. Sam was a bit confused at first, but he joined the archangel on the left side of the bench and looked up himself. "I'm sorry but Dean's melodrama would eat me alive."

"He's mourning a friend Gabriel." Sam gave the archangel a look, almost offended at his comment.

"Oh he acts like the poor bastard is already dead," Gabriel exclaimed. "Why is it every time one of you two bites the bullet you don't just sit around? You wanna know why? Because you start finding a way! You don't ever give up."

"So you're saying Dean is giving up on Cas?" Sam said in an accusatory fashion.

"I'm not saying that at all," Gabriel protested, finally sighing again in defeat at the look on Sam's face. "Do you know why I chose to help you Sam Winchester? Out of all of the thousands of humans in this puny town, in this big wide world, do you know why I chose you?"

"I've honestly been trying to figure that out from the beginning." Sam settled back into the back of the slightly cold bench.

"I like you Sam," Gabriel explained. "Something about you struck a chord in my mind. I dunno what exactly."

"Was it my rugged good looks?" Sam said with a chuckle.

"Don't push it Winchester," Gabriel replied then begun to explain his point. "Anyway, I like you therefore I chose to fight for you. Because if you don't recall the last time Dean pseudo died and fell into Hell with little ol' Cassie you were about ready to give up. Hell if I hadn't stepped in you would have. You would have given up any and all hope of ever having your brother back and now you do have him back and you're allowing him to isolate himself from you when he by far needs you the most."

"He won't talk to me." Now it was Sam's turn to sigh.

"So talk to him," Gabriel said. "Look kiddo I know what it's like being the little brother, but I also know what it's like being the big brother and sometimes you have to play both roles whether you like it or not. Right now Dean needs you to be the big brother for him. He needs you to light a fire under his ass and to not give up hope about Cas. Because whatever the outcome may be right now that can always change."

"When did you get so good at pep talks?" Sam asked. "Is this another one of your tricks?"

"Oh there's a lesson to be learned here Sam," Gabriel waved his finger. "But no tricks. This time it's just plain and simple. Talk to Dean. Be there for him. But do not, I repeat do not let him drive into a ditch. Do not let him drink himself into oblivion, do not let him have nightmares without waking him up from them and do not above all let him feel alone in this."

"Guess y'all know a lot about being alone." Sam regretted the words the second they came out of his mouth and he waited for the full wrath of the trickster to fall down upon him, repeating Tuesdays all over again and all that, but nothing came.

"We all raised each other," Gabriel explained. "The archangels were created directly by God, but the other angels. They had parents. Many of which died early on before they were able to see their children grow up and become adult angels. Castiel's mother was among them. She died one month after he was born and I had to raise the little tyke."

"I'll bet he was an angel," Sam chuckled. "No pun intended."

"The day he was born lightning crashed, drums sounded," Gabriel broke into a half smile. "All of Heaven rejoiced that another motherless fledgling had survived. He was the sweetest fledgling ever. He had like angelic colic something awful, but I remedied that by his second year. I taught him everything I knew. Everything Lucifer had taught me..."

Sam cleared his throat when the silence hit.

"You see now why Dean can't lose hope in Castiel," Gabriel inquired. "Because I can't lose my brother Sam. Not another one."

Gabriel was silent after that, Sam too, but Sam understood every other silent word that Gabriel ever could've said to the man through his very gaze. Sam had to take charge and fulfill the lesson that was to be learned here. Because if all hope was lost well they didn't have very much left did they?

Reviews are appreciated!

A/N: Woah alright typing a chapter still slightly hung over from last night is fun! Haha I hope you all had a fabulous new year and that this upcoming year will be amazing for each and every last one of you! I had to get another update in, I have exactly six days before I get my wisdom teeth removed and I'm trying my hardest to get you all as many updates as possible before I'm down and out for a bit. This story is nearing its close in quite a few more chapters. I have the ending already planned and I hope I don't do too much damage to your fragile hearts in the meantime.

Did anyone catch the subtle sexuality hint at the end of Dean's and Titan's conversation? I know I did ;D

Well as Jody said that's the 411 and I'll see you all next chapter!