Morning! Or afternoon…

I hope this gives you some answers. These next couple of chapters should help with all the theories and questions.

Ones that keep coming up: Both Bella and Edward are 18. Edward was 17 when he and Tanya fooled around. No, there was no penetration… meaning Edward is still technically a virgin… and the age of consent in Alaska is 16 (don't get me started on that… gross)

Wordy ass chapter, long ass AN's… coming up… and not really edited… 3k chapter each day is hard! lol

Safe From Harm- Massive Attack

~~oo~~

Chapter 36: Who says June Cleaver is normal?

BPOV

I took a minute just outside of Edward's bedroom to tidy up what was sure to be a wild mane on my head, and to get my breathing back in order.

It was so very wrong to tempt him like that.

I knew it.

He knew it.

But it empowered him.

And well, it felt amazing.

He felt amazing.

It felt amazing.

Dear god I was trying not to be a perv but the feeling of him hard against me made me just want to walk back in there and take a shower with him so I could soap him up.

And down. And up…

And his chest. And back. I tried so hard to remain the good girl because he needed the affection, but opening the door in just his sleep pants, and then taking me to his bed.

What was a girl to do?

Was it wrong that I wanted to go on a treasure hunt down the long trail of his stomach?

Everything about him was a temptation and my body hummed with the thrill of feeling him.

I was not helping myself to calm down standing outside of his bedroom.

One last cleansing breath, and I was heading back downstairs. I had no idea what I would do while Edward showered, but I figured it would look better for him if I was downstairs instead of naked in his bed like I wanted to be. Everything about his situation said we needed to act respectable.

I was stepping off the last stair when I saw Mrs. Cullen come out of the kitchen, her eyes hopeful. When she saw I was alone, her face drooped.

"He said he wanted to take a shower before he came down," I said, and then blushed at the implication that posed. "He kind of smelled."

Brilliant.

Tell her you sniffed him. Over and over again.

"Not that he stinks, or anything. He just wanted to be fresh…"

Close. Mouth.

"He's okay?" she asked, oblivious to my babbling.

I let out my breath again, willing myself not to be blunt with his mother. I hardly knew her.

"Explain okay?" I asked instead.

Because Edward was far from okay.

She glanced up towards the stairs and then motioned me to follow her back into the kitchen. When I stepped in, I paused at the view before me. There were several pies cooling on the breakfast island, and I could see a few loaf pans on the counter. From the smell of it, she was now making a roast.

I felt my heart throb a little for her.

She was a lot like me.

Or I was a lot like her.

Whichever, we cooked when we were upset.

And she had outdone me by leaps and bounds.

"I made cinnamon cake this morning," I said, trying to offer her a way to open up to me.

"You like to bake?" she asked, her tired face softening a bit.

I nodded and slipped into a seat by the pies. She offered me a bottle of water and stood on the other side of the island, smiling sadly.

"Edward would love that," she said softly. "It was something his mother did."

"Did you do it to make him happy, like the hugging?" I asked, watching her reaction carefully.

She looked up from the counter, assessing me curiously.

"Edward's told you a lot, hasn't he?"

"He had a sort of breakthrough I think yesterday," I replied. "At least, before he came home."

I meant to stab that little bit at her. Because whatever happened the night before, he should have had at least Esme in his corner. She looked away again, shame clear on her face. She turned and busied herself with the roast while she talked, successfully ignoring my reaction to what she had to say.

"I'm ashamed of how I acted last night," she started, glancing back for only a second before continuing.

"Carlisle has told me only a little of what happened with Edward while we were in Alaska, in fear partly of me having an extreme reaction to it, I'm sure. But I had an inkling about what was going on," she said.

I felt the heat rise in my face from my anger.

"That woman is at fault, regardless. She was older. He was a victim. He needed protection and support, not accusations," I said, trying to remain calm.

Esme visibly shivered at my words.

"I never wanted that for my boys. It's my fault," she said, her back facing me.

I couldn't agree more, but I remained silent. I had an idea that she meant something more than simple parental stupidity.

"I knew what she was. What she liked," she continued. "But Carlisle assured me she was not a threat. She was family. And there are of course rules. Not that I ever fully understood that."

I remained quiet. I didn't understand what she meant, but I was hoping she would explain.

She looked back at me to see if I was still listening.

I nodded and she swallowed, turning to lean against the counter. She let out a long breath and a look of resolution crossed her face.

"I need to tell you a few things about this family. Things that may answer a few concerns you have. They aren't good. But I don't want you to hold it against Edward," she said, staring me down. "He doesn't know. But given Carlisle's actions this morning, you need to understand."

I mentally braced myself for the worst and nodded for her to continue.

Ideas about serial killers came to mind briefly.

Don't you know you're supposed to go with your first instinct?

Would my dad come looking for me only to find Mrs. Cullen cooking a new roast?

I pushed those frightening thoughts out of my head to listen to her as she spoke.

"Carlisle and I met at a mixer of sorts. I was with…someone else. As was he," she said watching me intently. "I was in college, away from my family for the first time. You do a lot of crazy things in college. At least, that's what I was made to believe."

When I didn't speak, she continued.

"The guy I met there was older. And a lot more experienced than I was. He liked things a certain way," she said, her tone a little strained.

"A certain way?" I pressed, not understanding.

"Yes," she replied, staring at me hard. "He liked to be in control, amongst other things."

I didn't understand really, but I nodded anyway.

"I didn't see Carlisle again until about six months later, in the ER," she said and closed her eyes for a moment, as if gathering her courage.

"He hurt you," I stated. Her eyes opened wide. "The guy you were with."

She swallowed and then nodded.

"He never fully explained everything he liked. And I was too ignorant to understand what he was," she continued. "But it wasn't what I wanted, not that way. He was more extreme than most, and I panicked. There's rules, but I didn't really understand them."

I shifted in my chair uncomfortably. I was beginning to piece things together. This was a lot more than how Edward described simple spanking and tying up.

"I spent a couple of weeks in the hospital, and Carlisle came to visit me every day," she said, smiling softly. "It was a little surreal, having him there, knowing that he knew how I was hurt. But he was kind, and nothing like what I thought he'd be like. He didn't seem like the kind of man you meet at those mixers I had seen him at. But we all keep that buried deep I suppose."

I shook my head and put my hand up.

"How does that woman in Alaska fit in," I said, not wanting to know the kinky perverted things Edward's parents did behind closed doors.

I was feeling ill for him, actually. Did he even know, at least an inkling?

Was that what that woman had been into?

Was it hereditary?

Esme noticed my discomfort and cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You have to understand I never went back to that lifestyle after that," she said. "My boys were too important to me."

"What about the woman in Alaska?" I asked again.

"Tanya is Carlisle's older brother's step child."

I could hear the venom in Mrs. Cullen's voice in speaking about Tanya. I wondered if she had always disliked Tanya.

"After we adopted Emmett, we made the choice to simplify things, so we moved back to where Carlisle's family was from, outside of Anchorage. I knew that Carlisle was doing it for me, and for the boys. I wanted our boys to grow up somewhere safe. And Chicago had too many memories for me. It wasn't long before I found myself working again, feeling better about myself. But Carlisle was not as happy there. He had given up a lot for us. Anchorage doesn't have a thriving scene, you see. I was never secure enough to give him what he wanted. What we both turned away from."

I felt a cold feeling in my gut start to spread.

"So what about Tanya?" I asked again, worried when Mrs. Cullen wiped at the counter a little more vigorously.

"She was a lot more secure apparently."

I stood and put my hands up.

"Okay, I've heard enough," I said loudly.

I wanted to go back upstairs and pack Edward a bag and take him with me.

I wanted to run Dr. Cullen over with my truck.

I wanted to yell at Mrs. Cullen for not standing up for Edward.

I wanted to drive all the way to Alaska and bitch slap this Tanya.

It was all making sense now, in a sick and twisted kinky Twilight Zone sort of way.

I had a boyfriend that had some sick Master for a father that had messed around with a woman that later latched onto Edward for all sorts of kinky activities.

Was that why Dr. Cullen was so judgemental over Edward? Had that Tanya chick dumped him for his son? Or was she doing both of them?

And now Edward was being punished?

I didn't even want to think about the weird way his dad looked at me.

I felt the bile rising in my stomach.

This family was all kinds of fucked up.

"I forgave Carlisle for what he did with her," she continued, as if she hadn't heard me. "I didn't know the extent of what had happened with Edward. Not until last night. Carlisle made it out to be Edward all this time. I didn't understand, because I was too wound up in my own that she would go from my husband to then prey my son, it was too much last night"

"Edward needed parents to protect him," I said, pacing back and forth. "Instead he came home and gets the third degree? How is that supposed to help him?"

"I thought Carlisle was helping Edward when we moved here, getting him out of that extreme part of the lifestyle. But then he told me Edward had compulsions, that was why he was with Tanya in the first place. I didn't realize he might be misdiagnosing him until you came over, and I saw how he acted towards you. He isn't what Carlisle said," she replied.

"Of course he isn't," I said, as if it were obvious. "He just needs parents that will support him. Mrs. Cullen, he was manipulated. All he needs is someone to believe him and support him. He's not getting that."

She looked away as if ashamed.

"I should have known Tanya was completely at fault. I was so mad," she muttered. "Carlisle said he took care of it, that he'd help Edward."

"Coming to my house and telling my dad that Edward is sick is not helping him," I retorted.

"That is inexcusable," she replied, regret clear in her eyes.

"Edward can't heal if he's going to come home and have his dad accusing him of things that he isn't," I said.

She shook her head and stood a little taller.

"No, he needs the home I promised him when he came to me as a little boy. I've stood by and hoped that things would change. They've only gotten worse. I can't let that happen, I know. After last night, I know I have to fix things," she said and wiped her hands, as if wiping away all the wrong this house had done to them.

"He was really doing better yesterday, Mrs. Cullen," I said. "Please, you need to help him."

She nodded and let out another stuttered breath.

"I promise, Bella. I see the little boy I rescued every time that he's with you. You definitely have made me see that things need to change. I can't even begin to understand why my husband went to your house today. That goes beyond all confidences Edward may have had. I won't let that happen anymore," she replied, the determination growing in her face.

I hoped she was pledging to make it right. Aside from getting Edward to a safe place outside, I had no idea how he'd manage without someone there in his home to back him up.

"I'll make sure he has a safe home again," she whispered and brushed my shoulder gently. "You just keep making him feel like a normal boy."

It was a weird comment, but I took it as her accepting me into Edward's life.

We heard the door open, both of us turning to see Edward standing there warily, freshly showered. His hair was still damp and he was in my favorite tight jeans and tattered t-shirt.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking from me to her suspiciously.

Mrs. Cullen smiled and walked over towards him, giving him a tight hug. I watched Edward hesitate before reaching around to hug her back, his eyes flitting to me as he did so.

Did he suspect what we were talking about?

"We were talking about girl stuff, honey. Nothing to worry about," she was saying. "Did you know that Bella bakes?"

He pulled away and tried to hide his smile.

"I know," he said, winking at me when she wasn't looking. "I've had her cookies."

I swallowed and shook my head, moving towards him.

"We should go work on our homework," I suggested. "We're behind on our assignment."

Mrs. Cullen smiled and pulled me in for a hug, quickly letting me go when she felt me tense.

"Thanks for looking after my Edward," she said, loud enough to make Edward blush and me feel even more uncomfortable.

"Your welcome, Mrs. Cullen," I replied.

"Please, call me Esme," she said as we started to make our way out.

I nodded and let Edward take me to the living room, glad to be out of the kitchen with her.

This family was entirely too screwed up.

"Are you all right?" he asked, pulling me down to sit next to him.

I smiled and nodded.

"I still don't know how you are the normal one," I replied, his eyebrows rose in surprise.

"You still think that after you saw just how June Cleaver my mom is?"

I shook my head and laughed.

"Who says June Cleaver is normal?" I shot back.

He grinned and leaned in to kiss me sweetly on the mouth.

"I think you're pretty normal," he whispered and kissed me a little more deeply.

We were never going to get anything done like this. I wondered if anyone would notice if we disappeared upstairs again.

He drew away slowly, licking his lips.

"We should get this homework done so we can move on to something else," he whispered, smirking.

"Like what?" I asked, playing along.

"Like taking a step…"

He was leaning in when the door opened and in lumbered Emmett.

"Hey! Looky who's here!" he exclaimed, flopping down into the chair beside us.

"Emmett, we're trying to work on our homework," Edward said, his tone menacing.

Emmett grinned and looked around.

"So where's the homework?" he replied. "Or is this more biology?"

"Fuck off, Emmett," Edward growled and pulled me up with him, heading back towards the stairs

Emmett waved us off and settled into his chair, the TV turning on as soon as we were on the landing. I followed Edward back upstairs, his hand secure in mine.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked, looking back where we had come.

I mean, I wanted to hide in his room.

But I also knew his dad would be home any time.

"We just need to grab my bag, and Junior," he said, smiling.

"FC has been in your room this whole time?"

He nodded and picked up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder before kneeling by his bed to pick up the bag of flour.

"Did you sleep with it?" I asked, clearly amused.

"It's actually documented that children with special needs require close attention. And I didn't want to forget him in the car again," he said, laughing. "Besides, I had a lot of work to catch up on while I wasn't sleeping."

He took my hand and led me back downstairs, past the living room and into the dining room, where we sat down in the same seats as we had that first night. Edward set FC up on the table in front of us. He pulled out the journal and our paperwork, smiling while he watched me thumb through the journal.

It was full of detailed logs. Not all of them really accurate, but what Mr. Banner didn't know wouldn't hurt.

"When did you do all this?" I asked, amazed.

He shrugged and seemed shy suddenly.

"I couldn't sleep last night, remember?"

I leaned in and kissed him on his newly shaven face. I rather liked the smooth feeling on my lips.

"So what do we have left to do then?" I asked.

He chuckled and shook his head.

"Not much," he said and paused to look over at the sack of flour. "Except maybe making this sack look more like a junior."

He pulled out a bag of markers and grinned when he found a color that looked a lot like his own hair color. He wiggled his eyebrows and pulled the sack closer to him. With an amused smile on his face, he scribbled a few wild lines along the top of the bag, making me laugh.

It looked a lot like the state of Edward's hair every day.

We spent a while decorating our flour child, trying to decide what color the eyes would be until Edward finally just drew on happy slits and put his sunglasses over them. He seemed to be coming back to the carefree person I had seen the day before, and that made me relax as we sat and talked and laughed over the ridiculousness of our child's cartoon face.

I saw movement by the door and caught sight of Esme peeking in to watch us. She smiled at me when she noticed me, and nodded, as if telling me everything was going to be better from now on.

I hoped she was right.

I could be there for Edward in every way I could, but at some point, I would have to come home and he would be left here with Dr. Cullen. Edward needed someone in his corner to stand up to the man.

It was up to her to make him safe.

~~oo~~

AN: All right, a little more info on Alaska… yes, you'll have questions I am sure. Bella doesn't get it all either. But there'll be some pretty clear discussion in the next chapter… Dr. Creepy will be returning.

A brief on BDSM and variances that are touched on in this story….

Many of us have a very general view of BDSM (thank you other fan fic stories) that show both a realistic AND a grossly stunted view of that sexual genre. And because there are levels of preference (I mean that some like light bondage and maybe some "yes master" role play, or full on caning, whipping and public collaring) the genre of BDSM has a pretty wide scope.

There is also something called Sadistic Personality Disorder, that should not be confused with sadomasochism. SPD can have non sexual boundaries, but someone in the world of BDSM can have SPD tendancies- these are the dangerous folks that put BDSM in a very bad light. I won't go into specifics. Google it. Just know that Esme was in a BDSM relationship with someone who had SPD, where perhaps she would have been better suited to a spanker… make sense?

You'll learn what camp Dr. Creepy is in, although his treatment of Edward leans towards SPD traits… again- SPD is not always sexual.

Food for thought.

Until tomorrow.

MWAH!

steph