Face to Face

Part 34

His father had seen him and was now gesturing in his direction, trying to get his attention. 'There was no turning back now,' he told himself. He made his way over slowly, he was in no hurry to get there, and any second he could waste he would.

"Aaron."

His father was smiling at him and he had the sudden urge to knock the smile off his face. He hadn't come to play happy families, he'd come to ask why he'd dared send him a visiting order.

He sat down and glared across the partitioning table at the older man.

Gordon Livesy's smile quickly faded, unnerved by the way his son was looking at him, "I didn't think you'd come."

"I didn't want to come."

"Did Paddy persuade you?" Gordon knew he had Paddy Kirk to thank for a lot of things where his son was concerned; this was probably down to him too.

"Don't!" Aaron spat, "Don't you even say his name." Where the hell had that come from? It had taken him by surprise just like it had his father.

"Sorry. I know you..."

"You know nothing about me. You said so yourself."

"Yes I did. I..."

"What do you want?"

"Just to talk..."

"Is that all because I don't want to talk to you."

"I know you don't think very much of me..."

"I hate you." Aaron stated quietly.

Gordon nodded, he'd expected that. "You've got reason to."

"So what do you want?" He'd raised his voice and heads were turning to look at him, but he didn't care.

"I suppose I just want to get to know my son."

Aaron snorted, unable to believe what he was hearing, "You didn't want to know me before! You threw me out."

"You were out of control then Aaron. Wild and...and wilful, I couldn't do anything with you."

"You didn't try."

"I did..."

"No. You didn't want to know when Sandra came along; you always put her first..."

"She was my wife..."

"I was your son!"

"And you still are."

"No." Aaron shook his head vehemently, "not since you turned your back on me."

"I was wrong to do that I know. I regret it."

"I don't. Paddy took me in."

"He's been good to you I know."

"Good to me!" Aaron exclaimed, he was getting emotional now despite all his promises to himself not to. He had little control over what came out of his mouth when he got like this, he either hurled abuse or opened his heart and he usually regretted doing both, but not this time. "He's been a father to me. The sort of father you should have been. He straightened me out as 'wild and wilful' as I was! See I wasn't a hopeless case. I just needed someone on my side, someone who would listen to me. Someone who stood by me no matter what. Someone who knew when I was hurting and took the time to find out why. And he's loved me for who I am, faults and all!"

"I never stopped loving you."

His father had raised his voice this time and they were once again the centre of attention, he was embarrassed now and had to drop his gaze.

Uncomfortably aware himself now of the stares and whispering going on around him Livesy lowered his voice, "I've always loved you but at times you made it so difficult to like you."

Aaron shook his head, he'd played Paddy up too, gave him hell, but he'd never given up on him. If his father had tried half as hard as Paddy had they wouldn't be here now.

"I was fourteen when you moved Sandra in; I just needed you to..."

"To what?"

"To listen to me."

"All you did was lie!"

"No, not at first, she lied to you about me, I tried to tell you...but you just hit me!"

He was squirming in his seat now, ashamed of his actions but still there had been some cause for what he'd done, "You never showed her any respect..."

"She hadn't earned any!"

Gordon shook his head, he'd found himself in a difficult position back then, torn between his future wife and his son, he'd handled it badly but Aaron really had made things difficult for them all, "Aaron, you were so sullen, so moody so..."

"I had so much stuff going on in my head, all these feelings inside of me. I was scared and confused and I needed somebody to talk to but I couldn't talk to you about it, not even if you'd have listened."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry you didn't think you could talk to me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. But I can be here for you now."

"What?"

"We've cleared the air a little haven't we? We could put everything that's happened behind us in time and be what we should be, father and son."

"No."

"Aaron please..."

"You've got another son, shouldn't you be concentrating on him?"

Livesy looked down at his hands, trying to hide the surge of emotion the comment had caused.

"What?" Aaron hadn't missed it, "He's alright isn't he?" Why was he suddenly bothered he never gave his brother...half brother any thought any other time."

"Sandra's divorced me, she's moved away, away from the scandal. She's fighting for sole custody and I've no doubt she'll get it."

As the words registered so did the truth. That was why his father was suddenly interested in talking to him. He'd lost his family and he was alone, would be alone when he eventually got out of jail. But he had spare son knocking about so why not bring him in out of the cold.

His mother had said it would hurt seeing his father in jail, she was half right, he was hurting right now but not because his father was locked up in here, he could rot here for all he cared. Getting to his feet he looked his father in the eye and said, "He's better off without you."

He could hear his father calling his name as he walked away, he was still calling after him as the guard closed the door behind him.

TBC