I usually do not like to spoil the chapters, but according to my inbox people are freaking out about Merle and him possibly breaking up Daryl and Jarah. All I can say is, please have faith in me and hang on. It's Merle, it would be unrealistic (IMHO) to have him come back and have everything be pretty smooth sailing. We will get there eventually, but Merle wouldn't be Merle if he wouldn't wreak some havoc first, right? Don't worry, folks;-)

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Chapter 36

"Fuck, I hate seeing you like this. Shane all over again!" Daryl muttered from his spot against the wall. He was chewing on his thumb while he watched Hershel stitch Jarah up.

"Don't worry, son. It's just one cut this time. She'll be good as new." Hershel send him a little smile. He knew it was tearing Daryl up on the inside whenever Jarah got hurt, he had witnessed it firsthand when he had brought her to him after Shane had tried to kill her.

"Yeah, it's not that bad, baby. Just one more scar to add to the collection. They make me look tough. If I get enough no one will ever mess with me again, right Hershel?" Jarah was smiling, trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't work on Daryl.

"It's not funny. He could have killed you. Would have made me put an arrow through your head, just for kicks."

"Don't think like that, Daryl. Everything turned out fine. We both know you girl is smart enough not to get killed. She showed us more than enough times by now!" Rick was slapping his hand on Daryl's shoulder, trying to shake him out of his dark mood. "Now, we gotta figure out what to do with Merle."

"Why? You wanna kick him out?" Daryl instantly straightened up and turned to meet Rick's gaze.

"No, he can stay, but we gotta make sure that he plays nice. We don't need drama, especially not with Jamie around. We'll keep an eye on Merle, but if he oversteps it, he needs to be put in his place. You know best what's at stake here, don't you? Nobody wants you to lose what you have. We're all gonna make sure that it's going to work out, but if he still won't fit in after a while, we'll have to think about other options. Alright?"

Daryl thought about it for a moment. Rick was right and he was grateful that the group would have their backs and fight right along with him for keeping his family. He just hated that he had to fight his own brother once again. He thought he had left that part of his life far behind him, but no, he would have to do it all over again.

"Yeah, alright!" Daryl nodded and leaned back against the wall. Jamie ran over to him and yanked on his pants, trying to climb Mount Daryl, his tiny feet stepping on Daryl's boots. The hunter picked him up and settled him on his hip.

"Told you once before, I ain't some jungle gym. You been good while we were gone?"

"Yaaaayaaaaaaa! Yaaaayaaayaaaa Dadada! Bookybookybookabah!" Jamie started babbling, like he was telling Daryl everything he did while his parents were gone.

Rick laughed quietly, watching the two for a moment before cutting in. "He was a good boy, as usual. Carl read about five different books to him, and we pushed him around the whole floor on his Bobby Car and then he really got into playing tag. He's quite good at it too!"

"Almost squealed the roof off of the house. Guess you'll have to play that with him a lot now." Hershel smiled while he finished up with Jarah. "There, all done for now!"

"Great, thanks Hershel! Jamie, honey go with Uncle Rick back to the others, okay? Mommy needs to talk to Daddy real quick!"

Jamie started running off and Rick nodded before following after him. "I got him, take your time!"

"Thanks, Rick. C'mon!" She grabbed Daryl's hand and made him follow her to their room. Once there she plopped down on the bed and rubbed her eyes. "Weird day!"

"Yeah, weird day. What did you wanna talk about?" Daryl kicked off his boots and propped himself against the headboard.

"I can imagine that you are in some kind of hell right now and I don't mean to pile on, but I want you to know something. Even though it would damn near kill me, if you pulled away from me now, that Merle is around, I would find a way to deal with it. But Jamie can't, Daryl. If you start pulling away from him it would hurt him. He wouldn't understand why all of a sudden he can no longer cuddle with you or play with you. You're his father now and he loves you so much. Please whatever you do, don't pull away from him. Don't take your love away from him. I beg you don't ignore him or push him away. His little heart would just break in two." Jarah had started crying during her speech. The thought of her son hurting in any way made her own heart shatter into a million pieces.

"My brother's gonna start calling me a pussy again, if he sees me kissin' on him or letting the little dude sleep on my chest,..."

"So? God Daryl, you gotta be stronger than that! We all know that you're not a pussy. You are an amazing human being, you're brother is the pussy. He doesn't know that it takes a real man to step up like you did. He is the one who is weak, hiding behind his bullshit macho facade. It didn't even take two minutes until he tried to get into your head, tried to get you to turn your back on everything good you have! You know why? Because he is fucking scared. He can't be on his own, he needs someone he can put down so he can feel better about himself, because he knows he is acting like a piece of shit! He didn't teach you shit! You taught yourself, the minute he was gone and look what a good job you did! Don't let him get to you Daryl. I know it's gonna be hard, but you have to fight. Don't give up and let him win. Unless you wanna go back to your old life. Guess that is a decision you'll have to make for yourself, but if that's gonna be it, please let me know so I can prepare. That's all I'm gonna say about it."

"What do you mean 'prepare'?" Daryl sat up straighter, the alarm bells in his head going off once more.

"You can't expect me to hang around, should you decide to side with your brother!" Jarah wiped at her tears angrily. She was starting to lose hope. Daryl seemed like he had already admitted defeat and it made her go back into her "emotional survival mode", already planning an exit strategy.

"You mean leave? Aw hell no, Jarah, come on! You'd be fucking stupid to leave!"

"I know, I wouldn't leave the lot, but I'd find a way to leave this building and set up camp somewhere else, even if it's the fucking locker room of the mechanics over in the garage. I don't care, as long as it would be away from you." Jarah wiped the fresh tears away and knelt next to him. He wouldn't meet her eyes, so she put her hand on his cheek to turn his face toward hers. She kissed him, a hard and long kiss full of love and desperation, before she looked into his eyes.

"I love you, Daryl. I will always be by your side, as long as you keep fighting for us. I'll only leave if you give up. It would be too hard to be around you and have you ignore us. We love you too much for that. The facts are on the table, now it's up to you!"

"If it's up to me, then why do I feel like you're already saying goodbye?" Daryl almost whispered, his voice was softer than Jarah had ever heard it. He was just as scared as she was about the future. Jarah knew in that moment that Daryl himself didn't even know if he would be able to stand up against his brother if push came to shove. She felt like curling up in a corner and cry herself to sleep.

"I'm not saying goodbye, Daryl. I just need you to know what's going to happen. I would never make you choose, I won't give you an ultimatum and make you pick sides. I hope we will all find a way to live together in peace, but if it that turns out to be impossible, I will have to make a choice for myself and Jamie."

"Yeah right, that means that in the end you are gonna make me pick a side. Fuck, why are you doing this right now? Nothing's happened. You haven't lost me and you're not going to. We just fucking found him, my mind's already full enough right now. Damn, I can tell you're not doing that knitting shit anymore. Used to be way more relaxed at the farm when you were busy with that stuff." Daryl spat at her, without being able to help it. His headache was getting worse and he wasn't able to focus on anything and it pissed him off to no end. To top it all off his girl was telling him that he was gonna lose them if he wasn't able to keep Merle in check. Just what he fucking needed.

"And that was your very nice way of calling me a bitch, wasn't it?" Jarah took a deep breath, trying to keep more tears from falling. She felt stupid for having brought the whole thing up, she knew Daryl needed his space, but she had needed to get it off her chest, before going back to face Merle and the group. "I'm sorry. Like I said I didn't mean to overwhelm you and pile on, but I needed to tell you. I'll get out of your hair now. I think we both have enough to think about."

Daryl didn't respond, he just looked up at her for a brief moment, before he went back to looking out the window. Jarah took it as her cue to leave. She already hated Merle. It wasn't directly his fault, but indirectly, he was already driving a wedge between them and it hasn't even been three hours. Still she would have to play nice with Merle and she needed to support Daryl and show him that she still had his back. He would need help to fight back against Merle, if he was willing to do so.

She went downstairs and left the building to enter the storage hall through the garage. She sorted through the stuff they found today and put it on the shelves. She took a moment to drink some juice, the cold liquid helping to soothe her frazzled nerves a little, then she grabbed a brand-new pillow and a blanket from another shelf and went back inside.

"Here, the couch is all yours. If you need anything else, tell me and I'll see if we have it." she said while handing the pillow and the blanket over to Merle. She also handed him a bottle of water and two pills. "It's Ibuprofen for your head."

Merle took the things she gave him, but other than that he didn't do anything to acknowledge her. He washed down the pills with some whiskey and laid down, propping the pillow under his head. Jarah turned her back on him and went to leave. She had taken one step, when he spoke up.

"Make that little rug rat shut up, before I do. Can't even hear my own thoughts!"

Jarah froze. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to remain as calm as possible in order not to strangle him.

"If you don't like it, then go and sleep outside for all I care. This is his home, you're the visitor!"

She left then, but she took Jamie with her anyway. She didn't want him around Merle. She carefully entered their room in case Daryl was sleeping, but it was empty. She put some jeans, shoes and his warm jacket on Jamie and went downstairs to put him in his stroller. She needed to find Rick, who was on fence duty right now.

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She didn't need to walk far. Rick was taking out some walkers through the fence by the front gate. He was about to ask how she was doing, but one look at her face gave him the answer right away.

"You cried. What happened? Merle?"

"No, not really. Mostly Daryl happened... because of Merle. And because of me I suppose!"

"It's already starting, hm? 'Causing trouble is obviously one of Merle's superpowers!" Rick sighed, shaking his head sadly.

"I think this one was on me, but still. I'm scared Rick. And I told Daryl, even though I knew he was overwhelmed enough by everything. Didn't end so well."

"What did you say?" Rick hung the cane back on the fence and turned to look at her.

"I begged him not to pull away from Jamie. Told him that I would find a way to deal with it if he pulled away from me, but that Jamie wouldn't understand if he did. Told him that we would leave if he turned back into his former self and hurt Jamie in the process."

"Leave? You're not serious!" Rick found it hard to believe that she would give up the safest shelter they've ever had.

"Not leave the group altogether, but I'd leave the building. Find somewhere else to hole up here on the lot. Enough buildings around here."

"I hope it doesn't come to that. How'd Daryl react?"

"Got upset. Not really about me leaving I guess, but about the fact that I was dumping that on him when he was already overwhelmed. He said that Merle was gonna call him a pussy if he ever saw Daryl kiss and hug Jamie. I think he is already starting to think about pulling away and it scares me shitless."

"I know you might not want to hear this, but I can actually understand both of your sides. You are trying to protect yourself and your son from getting hurt and I think you would be doing the right thing. But I also understand Daryl. I don't think he means anything he might have said to you. He IS overwhelmed. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. He lived in Merle's shadow for a long time. He was destined to become just like him. Merle treated him like crap for the most part at the same time he made Daryl dependent on him, probably telling him things like that Merle would be the only one who would ever be there for him. I don't know much about their childhood, but I am a cop and I can read people and their behavior. Back at the quarry Daryl was just like a scared, caged animal. Like a beaten dog who was still loyal to his abusive owner. He would have done anything for Merle, because deep down, he believes in family. I can tell by how he instantly grew attached to you and Jamie. Daryl needs family and I think Merle knows that and made him believe that he was the only family Daryl would ever need, that nobody else thought of him as worthy. That's why Daryl kept acting out. But the day Merle disappeared and it was clear that he wouldn't return anytime soon, Daryl changed. He was free. He suddenly had space to grow and develop, turn into the man he wanted to be, without Merle telling him he was a moron. Helpful, generous, yeah still a little rough around the edges, but all around caring and a really good man. Then you found us, you boosted his sense of self-worth to a whole new level. Daryl became a whole different person. He was finally happy. Now completely out of the blue his brother is back. His brother who will try everything to force Daryl back into submission. His brother who has the potential to hurt you and your son a great deal. Daryl knows what he is up against. Of course he is overwhelmed, he is trying to come to grips with everything and on top of that he is worried about losing you guys. Don't give up on him too quickly, Jarah. He will need time. And you will need patience and we know that's not your strong suit. We will take care of Merle, but it will probably take a while."

"I hate you and your perfect reasoning!" Jarah muttered, making Rick laugh.

"I know you do, but you know I'm right. There will be hard times ahead, but we're a team. We'll get each other through it. You and Daryl, you are both scared and you both learned to push people away before you get hurt, to protect yourselves. You will both have to suppress that mechanism and work through it. You'll get there, I promise."

"Thanks! Guess you're right, we're probably both just panicking. I am just not made for this. Waiting to see what will happen is just not my thing."

"I know, but that's all you can do right now! How's the arm?" he smiled, changing the topic.

"I'll live. Took some Ibuprofen, so it's not that bad. Just have to be careful about sleeping on my side tonight. How are you? How are Lori and the baby?"

"They are both fine considering the circumstances. Jarah, I... She's still my wife..." Rick swallowed hard and looked at the ground.

"You still love her,... I understand."

"It's not just that. She's the mother of my children. I don't know if I'll be able to kick her out." he admitted. Just the thought of losing her forever made tears well up in his eyes.

"Rick, I am not asking you to! I never did. God it is just such a mess. Daryl is the one who wants her gone and I understand. But I am a mother and I know I wouldn't leave my kids behind and I would never ask her or you to do the same. I know you can't kick her out. For all I care she could even run around the building, I'd keep my distance, but I don't think the group would benefit from that." Jarah rubbed her hand over Rick's arm while he contemplated her words. She was still sure that Lori wouldn't make it through childbirth. They had some medical supplies but not what they would need for a c-section. No way she would make it and the chances for a natural delivery were slim to none after her C-section with Carl. Still it wasn't Jarah's place to mention her predictions to Rick.

"No, you're right, the group is more comfortable with the way it is right now, but we can't keep her in that room forever. We'll have to figure something out sooner or later!"

"I know, we will! Now come on, let's check the rest of those fences and then lets see what's going on inside!"

"Yeah, whatever it is, we'll deal with it." Rick put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer and they walked the fences in amiable silence before heading back in.

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Even though she was asleep, she was able to smell him before she felt him. He was reeking of alcohol and cigarettes and it made her stomach roll when she woke up.

Daryl was hovering over her, now nipping at her jaw all the way up to her ear, biting down on her earlobe a little too hard.

"Ow, Daryl stop! What are you doing?" She pushed her hands against his chest to shove him off of her, but he wouldn't budge.

"What's it feel like I'm doing? I want you, girl!" He grabbed one of her hands off his chest and pushed it hard against his rock hard erection, grinding himself against her hand.

"Daryl stop, you're drunk!"

"A little! Still want you! C'mon baby, you like it rough. I'm just in the mood for that!" He placed little bites all over her neck, still rubbing himself against her hand he kept firmly in place with his own.

"I bet you are, but I'm not. Let's just go to sleep. It's been a long day!"

"Nah, not tired. Horny as fuck though! Take off your clothes baby! I wanna fuck you so hard you almost pass out again and then I wanna cum all over your fucking tits."

"We can do that tomorrow when you are sober and don't reek of whiskey. Stop it, right now Daryl! You're taking a shower! Now!" She used all her strength to push him off of her. She swiftly got out of bed before he could get on top of her again and grabbed his arm to pull him towards the bathroom.

"See? My brother's right! You already don't want me anymore, 'cause he's onto you! I'm just your bodyguard, the fucking babysitter for that little br-"

"DON'T! You're brothers planting crap in your head! You don't know what you're talking about, so you best shut up right now. You already have enough to regret in the morning!"

Carol came out of her room when she heard the raised voices. She saw what was happening and felt bad for Jarah. She had gone through similar situations with Ed.

"Need help?"

"No I got it, thanks Carol. Sorry for waking you up!" Jarah apologized and kept dragging Daryl to the bathroom while the older woman disappeared back into her room.

Once she got him in there she didn't bother undressing him, she pushed him under the shower head and turned the water on full force. It was ice cold and Daryl yelped when it hit him. He fought against her, when she kept pushing him under the spray of ice water.

"Lemme go, you stupid bitch! So that's how you care about me? Letting me freeze to death?"

"Do yourself a favor and shut up, Daryl!"

Daryl fought some more, but the more water hit him, the less he struggled. Finally he slumped against the wall and sank to his knees. Jarah turned off the water and threw a towel in his lap.

"You're gonna leave me, aren't you?" Daryl slurred defeated, tears were mixing with drops of water on his cheeks. He had drunken himself into stupor after Merle had convinced him that Jarah was gonna leave him and now he felt sorry for himself.

"I am not going to leave you, Daryl! I told you, I would be there for you, but you can't let Merle get into your head! You see where you end up when you listen to him? This has never happened before, now has it? We have to make sure that it never happens again. He is your brother and you love him, I get that, but we can't let him win."

"Merle always wins,... I don't know what to do!"

"We'll figure it out. He is not going to win this time. We won't let him. Come on now, you need to dry off and get clean clothes on.

Jarah knelt down in front of him and unbuttoned his wet shirt, while Daryl studied her face with hazy eyes.

"You still love me? 'Cause I still love you!" that almost made Jarah smile despite the situation they were currently in. That was the second time he had ever said it and even though he was still drunk, it felt good hearing it after the day they had.

"I will always love you, Daryl. Forever." she kissed his forehead gently, gathering some strength from the brief physical contact, before she continued undressing him.

"My clothes are all wet!" he looked down at himself confused, like he had already forgotten how it happened. Damn, he was still like a little boy sometimes and it was fucking cute. She hated it right now, because it kept her from being mad at him.

"I know, we'll get you dry ones in a minute!"

She succeeded in getting him dressed and dry and quickly ushered him back into their room with the towel firmly wrapped around his hips. Her training as a nurse helped her get him dressed in clean clothes quickly, he didn't do much to help her, he was already losing consciousness. She helped him lay down and covered him with the blanket and watched him sleep for a moment.

She didn't know what would be best. If he remembered or didn't remember what had happened when he woke up the next morning.

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AN: Thank you for reading!

KaneCenaZombie12: I am the worst, i am SO SO sorry, I forgot to thank you in my last author's note. It was not on purpose, I swear. A big hug to you and thank you for your continued support.

NanamiYatsumaki: Thank you for reviewing. I used to like "Caryl" but ever since the season premiere I don't think that there is anything romantic between them and now I don't think there will ever be. What she did, I don't think Daryl will be able to forgive her too quickly once he finds out.

sillygabby: I think so, too. I might play around with that idea and see where it leads me:-)

electrogirl88: Sorry, for now the tornado that is Merle, will do some damage, but nothing irreparable!

katie93319: I think Merle can be good, but it will take some time. I am sure he will warm up to Daryl's new family soon.

mamareadstomuch2: Thank you for your kind words. I think Carol might play a big part in getting him to mellow out in the future.

Angel JJK: Thank you for reviewing. I like tough Carol. I think it will be fun to see how that'll play out here.

Micaela Beth Winchester: Seems like you were right, Merle will turn their world upside down for now. Can't have him come in nice and docile like a little lamb, now can we?

Thanks so much everybody! See ya!