A/N: I'm back! I apologize for the extremely long wait. Things have just been busy for me, among other things, that had just completely sapped my will to write. I finally managed to get it done, and hopefully should be writing on a more consistent basis. I hope you all enjoy! Special thanks goes out to SherryE for her support. Of course, everything in the Mass Effect Universe is property of Bioware.
"This pest should be destroyed!"
Shepard could barely hear the voices around her. Her entire mind felt like a veil of fog surrounded it, and she could not figure out whether she was on Noveria still, or back on the Normandy. She attempted to crawl toward the voices, but her body felt like it had a krogan laying on top of it. Gathering what strength she could she wobbly pushed again, trying to create any momentum. She managed a pathetic inch before collapsing. What the hell is going on? Where am I?
"This is a living being, Wrex! We do not... God with other species! What you are... genocide!"
Genocide? Fuck, I'm missing words. Focus, Zoe. Focus! It became harder for Shepard to concentrate the longer she tried, and her head already began to swim. She did recognize Liara's voice, however, and felt comforted that she was nearby.
"My people... died for your 'Council' so... rewarded... genophage."
Wrex. Shepard thought. The Rachni.Through her strained thoughts, she weighed the two options that she saw. While letting it go had several unseen consequences and outcomes, the possibility remained that the rachni could eventually grow and rejoin the galactic community. The second option meant committing genocide and completely wiping a species from the galaxy, again. Feeling the darkness taking her again, she knew she needed to act soon. "Let... go," she said, though it came out slurred. She tried one last time, hoping that it came out correctly. "Let it go." Finally unable to hold off the inevitable, everything went dark and she slumped back to the floor.
Liara sat cradling her mother's body with one arm, and looking at the blood on her other. Her mother's blood, she corrected herself. She quickly accepted that her mother died, and would not be coming back. However, it finally fully hit her that she had been the one to kill her, and it renewed her grief tenfold. She did gleam a small bit of relief seeing the look of peace on her mother's face, reminding herself of how Matriarch Benezia used to look, and how much Liara loved her. She lifted her head out of concern, looking in the direction of Shepard. Her heart sank further when Shepard still had not moved, but could not find the will to get to her feet.
"So I guess this is a rachni."
Liara snaped out of her daze and looked up to see Aidan standing to her side, looking at the tank behind her. Wrex and Ashley were also next to him, and she noticed Wrex looking extremely agitated. Goddess, I completely forgot about the rachni! Turning her head, she studied the creature within the tank. At first glance, it would be something that would frighten most people. However, upon further inspection she noticed a certain majestic aura about it, something that she couldn't place. Perhaps it was the archaeologist in her, but she found herself fascinated by the rachni. She opened her mouth to speak about it, when she noticed an asari moving up behind Aidan. Igniting her biotics, she threw a hasty barrier around Aidan. "Behind you!" she screamed out.
The other three wheeled around immediately to face the asari but they all stood, dumbfounded, when the asari had no weapon, and appeared to be moving as though it were a marionette. "This one... Serves as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless."
Looking back to the rachni tank, Liara's eyes widened as she noticed the creature staring intently at them and realized that the rachni was actually talking with them. "What do you mean, 'colors'? How are you speaking with us? How are you using her?" Liara had so many questions, her scientific curiosity now roaring inside of her.
"Your way of speaking is strange. Flat. It does not color the air. When we speak, one moves all," the creature spoke. "We are the mother. We sing for those left behind, the children you thought were silenced. We speak through touching thought, plucking at the strings, and others understand. This one is weak to urging. We have no names for her colors, but her time is coming to a close. It is a bittersweet sound, and beautiful."
"This is fascinating," Liara said out-loud accidentally. She had never experienced something like what the rachni just showed her, and found herself wanting to know more.
"The children we birthed were stolen before they could learn to sing like us. They are now lost to silence," the queen continued. The asari it was controlling turned its head towards Liara, as did the queen's head. "They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm."
"This pest should be destroyed!" Wrex growled. He found Liara's interest in his species' long-time enemy infuriating. The rachni were a blight on the galaxy, and it cost his people dearly to see that they were exterminated.
Liara felt a fury bubbling up within her at the Krogan's angered words. "This is a living being, Wrex! We do not get to play, as the humans say, God with other species! What you are suggesting we do is genocide."
Wrex snarled back. "My people were uplifted to fight the rachni. We fought and died for your 'Council' so the rest of the galaxy would be safe!" Wrex was fuming on the inside. These weaklings will never understand, they aren't krogan. "In return for our services, they decided that we would be rewarded with the abomination that is the genophage, which is slowly killing my people!"
Liara understood, as much as she could, where Wrex's opinions came from. However, she could not condone the eradication of an entire race based on past actions that neither of them were alive for. Instead of continuing to argue with Wrex, a pointless exercise, she focused in on the rachni. "If we let you go, what is your plan?" she asked. While a part of her knew that any living being in the queen's situation would lie to preserve itself, she wanted to see if the rachni indeed be peaceful.
"We... I do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance, songs the colors of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps in time we could return."
Liara was just about to open her mouth when she heard something faint behind her. Turning around she saw Shepard crawling toward them, clearly in a struggle. "Shepard!"
"Let... go," Shepard said faintly.
Liara had been making her way over to Shepard when she spoke. Stopping, she listened to what Shepard was saying, unable to make it out the first time.
"Let it go." Shepard then slumped over and passed out again.
Liara's heart dropped again, seeing her lover in such rough shape. It sunk even deeper when she realized that she had completely forgotten about her in her curiosity about the rachni. Unable to ignore Shepard any more, she turned to Aidan and Ashley, who were standing off to the side. "Aidan, Shepard gave orders to release the rachni queen. Would you do the honors?"
Aidan rubbed the back of his head. "Sure." He had really been trying to stay out of the whole situation, as he felt it wasn't his place to offer his opinion on the matter. Honestly, the giant bug crept the hell out of him, reminding him of old sci-fi movies. Moving over to the controls, he found the release button and promptly pressed it, not missing the dirty glare from Wrex as he did so.
"You would give us the chance to compose anew?" the rachni queen asked in disbelief. "We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to all our children." The container holding the queen started to rise up and then locked into place. The rachni gave one last glance at the group below, then disappeared through the tunnel leading to her freedom.
As proud as she felt about freeing the rachni queen, Liara was much more concerned about Shepard. "We need to get moving, Shepard needs to get back to the Normandy right away," Liara said. "Ashley and Aidan, could you come over and carry her. I need to... tend to my mother."
"Sure thing, Liara," Ashley said softly, moving over with Aidan to carry Shepard. They both gingerly lifted Shepard's unconscious body up, and made their way back to the tram-station to head back to the Normandy.
Liara walked back up the stairs to where her mother lay, and knelt down beside her. "I am sorry, mother, for not being able to save you." She bent down and placed a loving kiss on Benezia's forehead, and let a single tear fall from her cheek. Strengthening her resolve, she ignited her biotics and gracefully lifted her mother's body up in the air, and followed Wrex out of the room. She could not be off of the planet soon enough.
Shepard regained consciousness very slowly, unsure of where she was immediately. Groaning, she opened her eyes to familiar bright lights and knew she was on the Normandy. "Liara..." she called out, searching for her bondmate, and just making sure that things on Noveria didn't go bad. Noveria, shit! Being on the Normandy meant that she had missed the confrontation with Benezia, and she felt horrible about it.
"Shhh, Zoe. I am here," she heard Liara say softly.
"I'm... sorry, Li," she said groggily, still not able to open her eyes completely. You left her alone to face her mother, you were useless.
Shepard felt Liara's hand brush against her cheek slowly and relaxed into her caresses. "There is nothing to be sorry for, Zoe. I am just glad you are alright."
Shepard smiled slightly, but that didn't completely rid her of the guilt that she felt. "What happened?" she asked. She remembered the start of the fight, and then nothing until her brief moment of consciousness hearing arguments, and then nothing again.
"Everyone is fine," Liara replied. "If you mean with the fight, well, I..." Liara cut off as her voice broke. The pain from fighting her mother still proved too powerful for her to completely bear, though being around Zoe made things a little better for her. Seeing Shepard looking at her, though, she knew that she needed to tell the truth on what happened. "When you were hit by my mother's biotics, my heart stopped. I saw you slump to the ground and I feared the worst. When you were unable to get up, those fears only intensified."
"Liara..." Shepard said sympathetically, reaching up a hand to brush Liara's cheek.
Liara shook her head and softly batted Shepard's hand to the side. As much as she would like to be comforted by her at the moment, she needed to tell everything that happened before she could. "My mother then struck me and I ended up next to you. Seeing you lay there... something came over me. I would have rather died in that instant than let any more harm come to you." She closed her eyes for a second, trying to remember how her mother used to be before she became corrupted by Saren. "I... did what I had to do to keep us safe. After... we released the rachni queen, like you said."
Shepard felt a knife stab through her heart, knowing that Liara had to kill her mother on her own. She felt disappointment in herself for not having been there. She had always been the person to be relied upon, not the person needing to rely on others. "I should have been there you, Li. You shouldn't have had to do that alone."
Liara gave Shepard a warm smile, but shook her head. "I am not some helpless child, Zoe. I am capable of taking care of myself. You have a squad of talented people, there is no need for you to shoulder all of the burden." She loved Shepard's courage and drive, but sometimes wished that she would let herself take a break and let others pick up the slack.
Shepard knew what Liara was trying to tell her, but that still didn't change her mindset. She was the SpecTRe, charged with stopping Saren and whatever his scheme was. As the captain of the ship, it fell on her to ensure the safety of the crew and to get the job done. Shaking her head, she pulled Liara closer, making sure that they were alone. "I'm... scared, Li." Truthfully, she was, and even more so actually talking about it. Liara is the only person she had ever felt comfortable with enough to open up completely, but even still she had difficulties expressing herself.
At Shepard's words Liara eased herself onto the med-bed, cuddling up close to Shepard and gently running a hand through her hair. "Everyone is afraid sometimes, Zoe," she said with a comforting smile. Part of her was extremely joyful that Shepard trusted her with her inner-most feelings, but also sad at the same time that her lover experienced them. "What are you afraid of?"
"Failing them," Shepard stated, motioning her head to the mess hall behind them. "You know my past Liara. I kept everyone at a distance. This group somehow grew on me and I've become attached, and I don't know how to deal with it."
Liara felt her heart surging within her. She felt so proud and happy that Shepard finally started to connect with other people, becoming less cold to them. However, she knew the kind of struggle that she would go through feeling all of these things again. "I know it is not easy, Zoe. But we will do it together," she said, squeezing Shepard's hand and planting a gentle kiss on her lips. "And just remember that as you are there for them and care about their well-being, they also feel the same, and I so much more."
Those words were exactly what Shepard needed to hear, and served as another reminder of why she loved Liara so dearly. "Thanks, Li. That's just what the doctor ordered. How long am I out for? I forgot to ask."
"Doctor Chakwas suggested no active duty for two days, and light duty for another two." Liara saw the scowl on Shepard's face, knowing her lover hated to be out of action. "We are en route to the Citadel. We have no current leads on Saren, the Council says they are working on digging up things and may have something in a week, and I need to make... arrangements, for my mother."
Shepard pressed in close, wrapping her arms around Liara. She admired how strong the asari was, handling the death of her mother so well on the outside, but knew that it tore her apart on the inside. "Whatever you need, I am here," Shepard whispered. "I love you, Liara."
"I love you too, Zoe," Liara replied, losing herself in Shepard's embrace. She needed to forget for a while, and this felt like the perfect time for it.
Ashley made her way through the crew deck, trying to find Aidan. She had meant to talk to him about how she felt before the mission to Noveria, but things had gotten busy quickly, and she never had the chance. Spotting him in the mess, she saw the perfect opportunity to talk. Quickly grabbing a tray of food, even though she wasn't hungry at all, she hurried over to Aidan's table and sat down to his right. "Hey, Aidan. What's up?" she asked.
"Oh, hey Ash," Aidan replied. He was used to eating on his own, as he usually at after everyone else, but he welcomed the company. "Not much going on with me. I heard we're going back to the Citadel and have a week off."
Ashley nodded. "I could use some R&R, and Liara could use the time to grieve for her mother." Ashley felt awful for the asari, and made a note to find her later and give her condolences. She felt even worse for being cruel to her when she first came aboard. Mental note, get her something nice. "You got any plans?" Please say no.
Aidan shrugged his shoulders. He knew he would be meeting Kyrie at some point, he just hadn't decided on whether or not to surprise her. I know where her apartment is and where she works, but would it be cool just to show up unannounced like that? What if she's busy? "Nothing definitive, yet. Still working things out."
Ashley smiled, knowing that he had no plans yet. "Perhaps we can meet up for some coffee or something," she suggested nervously. Get it together, Ash! "I don't really know anything about you, and I'd like to know more."
Aidan smiled, glad that he could make some friends. It was still a new concept to him, as he had very few, and all of them had been military. "Sure, sounds good. Just message me on this thing when you want to hang out," he said, pointing to his Omni-Tool.
Score! "All right, I'll message you the specifics later. Thanks for the chat, Aidan!" Excited, Ashley quickly got up and headed for the cargo bay, she had energy she needed to work off.
Aidan shook his head. People are weird. Looking at the plate across from him, he saw that Ashley hadn't even touched her plate. "More for me, I guess." Grabbing the plate, he started forking down the food. Some people gave him odd looks when he did so, but he paid them no mind. When you came from the places that he did, any meal was good enough.
Finishing his meal, he pushed the plate away, and started thinking about what to do about Kyrie. While I' m sure that she wouldn't mind the surprise, it would be rude of me to assume that I can drop by anytime. I need to make sure she's not busy. Settled, he made his way to the comm room and shut the door behind him and dialed in Kyrie's contact number.
Kyrie plopped down on her couch, having just finished her dinner and started to relax. The past couple of weeks of work had been extremely rough on her, but she enjoyed it. She loved being active and earning for herself, even if her mother and Tevos provided a wealthy sum of money for her every month. While she appreciated that they wanted to take care of her, she had always been the type to want to get things done on her own. Her mother had always admired that quality about her. So while she accepted the money, she only used it for rent and saved the rest. Everything else was bought with money she had earned.
She heard her Omni-Tool ring and got off the couch to retrieve it. Picking it up and looking at who was calling her, she nearly screamed out of joy when she saw it was Aidan. Rushing back to the couch, she readied herself then hit accept. "Aidan!" she exclaimed.
"Hey, Kyrie," he replied with a warm smile.
"It's good to hear from you, I miss you," she said. She understood that he could not contact her more, but that did not mean she didn't miss him.
"I missed you too. I wish I could have called sooner, but it's been... busy here," he said, deciding to leave the morbid stuff for later. For now, he just wanted to catch up with her. "What's up with you?"
"Same here, things have been busy. I enjoy it, though. It makes me feel useful."
Aidan smiled at how similar they were. "I know the feeling. I'm the same way. I don't take inaction well, but that's just a product of how I grew up I guess."
Kyrie returned the smile. Every time that they talked, her whole world brightened up. She just wished that he could be around for a while, so they could spend time in person. Deciding it wouldn't hurt, she decided to ask him. "When do you think you'll be back to the Citadel?" She probably knew that he was going to say not any time soon, but a part of her hoped.
"We're actually on our way now," he said with a grin.
Kyrie's jaw dropped, excitement bubbling up within her. "Really?!" she asked, surprised. "How long?!"
"Well at least a week, from what I'm hearing," Aidan replied. Seeing Kyrie's excitement confirmed that he made the right choice in calling her. She was completely adorable and he couldn't help but feel lighter because of her.
"Well, it appears that I will be calling in sick for a week, then," Kyrie said with a wink. She looked around her apartment and it suddenly appeared to be a sky-car wreck, everything appearing out of place and imperfect. "I have lots of cleaning to do," she said with a frown.
"Well, we're about a day out from you so you have time," he said, doubting that Kyrie's apartment was anywhere near as dirty as what she suggested. Hearing a buzz from the door, he knew he needed to cut his time short. "Well, I have to go. I just wanted to let you know I'll be coming." He had an urge to express to Kyrie his complete feelings for her, but knew that a vid call wouldn't be appropriate, and he wasn't ready to completely face them yet. He had to be sure, and this week would be exactly what he needed.
"I'm glad you did. Thank you for the call, Aidan. I cannot wait to see you," Kyrie said. They both waved goodbye, and the call disconnected. Kyrie relaxed back into the couch with a happy sigh. Perhaps now we can explore more of what we feel for each other, maybe I can help heal him more. That thought sent butterflies through her stomach and she felt giddy on the inside. Calm down, Kyrie, you're acting like a little girl, she said to herself. Looking around her apartment, she knew she needed to get several things before Aidan arrived. "Guess I'm going shopping. Perhaps Tevos can help me pick things out?" she thought out loud. Giving a shrug, she grabbed her credit chit and headed out of her apartment to the markets, almost with a bounce in her step. Thank you Goddess for bringing him to me.