It's about time I write another one of these. With a new Smash game on the horizon, I thought I should write a new episode to introduce the newest Smashers.
I don't own anything.
Today was just another day at the Smash Mansion, or so it seemed. Smashers were hanging out with one another.
In one area of the mansion, Samus was explaining to Ness why she couldn't be romantically involved with her friend Pikachu, despite the fact that some ship them together.
"You see Ness, though some fans like us as I couple, I couldn't like Pikachu like that. The reason why is because that would be considered zoophilia. Pikachu is a mouse, and I am a human. Besides, Pikachu already has a female companion in that way - his friend's Buneary. They have kids too."
Ness said, "now I see, I can read the minds of those in the mansion, I can tell you that Captain Falcon has got the hots for you."
Samus said, "it's a known fact that he loves me, I'm not sure what to say about that though. Should I return his love or what? I mean on one hand we make a good couple. On the other there are people who say dating another in your profession always ends badly."
In another area of the mansion, Duck Hunt Dog was chasing Fox around, a reference to fox hunting. "Down boy, down!" Fox yelled frantically as he tried to get away from the Dog. "What is with your species and chasing mine around?!"
The Dog said, "it's in our blood. Dogs have been fox hunting companions for as long as I can remember."
Bayonetta was checking up on what the Winchester brothers were up to. "I swear if those sons of bitches don't stop the Apocalypse again we are all doomed. I'm already peeved that I have to count on them to keep it from happening. I hate them so much. Their mother is no better. And the fact they let an angel have an offspring is appalling. I would have had him killed by now."
Link and Zelda were getting high on marijuana as usual. "When I'm high, I feel like I'm in another dimension" Link said.
Zelda said, "this is the good life."
After completing his talk with Samus, Ness got together with Lucas, Toon Link and Male Villager.
Ness said, "I heard a rumor that some new Smashers were gonna tour the Mansion today. I wonder who they are and what they're like."
Lucas said, "I wonder if it's Paper Mario, Bandana Waddle Dee and Captain Toad."
Toon Link said, "or maybe the new Smashers are Ashley, Birdo, Dixie Kong and Candy Kong."
Male Villager said, "maybe the new Smashers are Krystal, Jill, Alm and Celica".
Ness said, "who knows? Some new Smashers in our age group would be nice to grow our clique."
Marth called together a meeting of his "Knights of the Round Table" regarding the mysterious visitors.
Marth said, "word on the street is that some new Smashers who will be joining the competition later this year are coming by today to tour the mansion. If they are more swordfighters from outside Link's world, we must bring them into our fold."
Ike said, "I happen to prefer Alm and Celica. Too bad those two are married, Alm would have been a nice partner for me, Male Robin, Male Corrin and Roy."
Shulk said, "I would really feel it if they came from my series. I'm so alone in that regard."
Meta Knight said, "what if they aren't swordfighters? I happen to know someone from my world personally who has been invited. His name is Bandana Waddle Dee."
Roy said, "he's just a glorified common Kirby enemy! If we get anyone new from Kirby I prefer Marx."
Cloud said, "I haven't said if I'm staying for the new game, but if I do, I will welcome any new non-Zelda swordfighters with open arms."
Lucina said, "whoever the new Smashers are they can't possibly be as dreamy as Little Mac".
Mii Swordfighter said, "why do you love Little Mac so much Lucina? Your personality clashes with his!"
Male Robin said, "you know what they say Mii Swordfighter? Opposites attract."
Female Robin said, "it's true. People who have nothing in common actually mix together quite often."
Male Corrin said, "so, how much longer until the new Smashers arrive to see the Mansion?"
Female Corrin said, "from the info I gathered, not long now".
Ash and Misty were in their room with Pikachu. Ash was petting Pikachu in the same way he did in the Pokemon anime episode "The Four Seasons of Sawsbuck".
Misty said, "Pikachu really likes that."
Ash said, "yeah, a great way for me and him to bond when he's not in any kind of battle."
Outside the Mansion, a loud noise could be heard. It was a helicopter approaching.
(Cue M*A*S*H theme) (As the helicopter approaches, everyone stops what they are doing and runs towards the front door)
(Title screen: the Real S*M*A*S*H Bros., the "Smash" is in the style of the logo for the show M*A*S*H)
(Starring: MARIO) (DONKEY KONG)
(LINK) (SAMUS ARAN)
(YOSHI) (KIRBY) (FOX MCCLOUD) (PIKACHU)
(AND MANY MORE...)
(EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: DAVID GEFFEN)
(All of these names are shown in the font used for the M*A*S*H opening credits. As the show's theme plays, everyone can be seen rushing outside to see the helicopter arrive on the helipad. The theme ends when the helicopter lands.)
Rosalina said, "now who could be stepping out of the helicopter?"
The helicopter's door's opened to reveal two teenagers, about 14 years old, one male, one female. The male had blue hair, the female had orange hair. Both had guns that could fire ink.
Link said, "hey isn't that M*A*S*H star Alan Alda piloting the helicopter?"
Marth said, "forget about him, who are these two?"
The orange-haired girl said, "allow us to introduce ourselves. We're Inklings. We're 14 years old and we are the newest additions to your little competition."
The Male Inkling said "I hope you don't mind the grand entrance. We're here to tour your mansion before we officially move in in a few months. But don't worry. We won't fire off our ink guns, now!"
The Female Inkling said, "and just so you know, that is Alan Alda piloting the copter."
Toon Link said, "Jamie Farr was better on M*A*S*H, just so you know."
Everyone went inside the mansion as the Inklings began their tour.
The Male Inkling said, "I noticed that some residents of this mansion live in the same room. Like for instance, Mario and Peach. I wonder what those two do behind closed doors?"
The Female Inkling said, "things your 14-year-old brain can't really process."
The Male Inkling retorted, "what do you mean? I've seen 50 Shades of Grey you know! And the sequels!"
The Female Inkling said, "you're catching on fast."
The Inklings entered the library. "There must be a lot of good books in here," the Female Inkling said.
"They must have the book version of 50 Shades too. I've read that as well" the Male Inkling said.
They next entered a game room, which had every major Nintendo console ever made, and many of Nintendo's greatest arcade hits (along with some from third-party companies represented in Smash).
"Wow the Smashers must have a lot of free time outside of matches!" the Male Inkling said.
The Female Inkling said, "they just want to relive where they come from."
The Inklings entered the food court, which also had storage spaces for the Smashers' personal food and drinks.
The Male Inkling said, "look a Coke Freestyle Machine!"
The Female Inkling also pointed at the Pepsi Spire next to it. "Apparently they like both Coke and Pepsi."
Chef Kawasaki came to the Inklings. "I operate a full service fancy restaurant here too. It's called Kawasaki's at the Smash Mansion. Lots of people come here. My food is quite good."
Kawasaki took the Inklings to his restaurant. "You weren't kidding about the fancy part" the Female Inkling said.
The Inklings entered the media room, where the residents of the Mansion watched TV and movies. Pit advised them, "10 times during the fall most of the residents here get together and watch a little show called South Park."
Palutena said, "it's one of the most disgusting things ever to grace a television screen."
Pit said, "even worse, one of its characters is a member of the Duck Hunt team."
The Male Inkling said "South Park? Oh cool!"
The Female Inkling said, "why must you put one of the most beautiful TV shows in the history of the medium down?"
Ike came into the room. "Inklings be advised. Pit and Palutena are very old-fashioned in their views. It comes with being from the Heavens. They even frown upon homosexuality."
The Female Inkling said, "homophobia in this day and age?"
The Male Inkling said, "for shame you two."
There were many other rooms that the Inklings saw on their tour. During their tour they were met by the child Smasher clique.
Ness said, "so you two are 14 huh?"
The Male Inkling said, "yes."
Lucas said, "that's really good, we've been wanting more Smashers in our age group to join our clique."
Toon Link said, "you two seem really cool, with the ability to transform into squids. We know all about that."
Male Villager said, "me and my female counterpart were really stoked when we saw you come out of that helicopter. That was a really cool entrance."
The Female Inkling said, "so, what you're saying is, you guys want to be friends with us?"
Ness said, "yes, child Smashers are hard to come by. I've been the only constant member of my clique since it was founded back in 2001. 2 former members, Pichu Big and Young Link, are no longer in Smash and haven't been for 10 years."
The Male Inkling said, "wow, our first day in the Mansion, and we already have Smashers who want to be friends with us."
The Female Inkling said, "consider us members of your clique Ness. We will gladly hang out with you when we move in for good in a couple months."
Lucas said, "wow, the SSB Youth Crew finally expands!"
The Inklings headed towards the front door.
The Male Inkling said, "this tour was really nice."
The Female Inkling said, "can't wait to start living with you all in the fall! Goodbye for now!"
The Inklings boarded the helicopter piloted by Alan Alda. Pip had instructed some Miis to arrange some stones to say "GOODBYE FOR NOW" so that the Inklings could see the message from above when they left.
As the helicopter took off, the M*A*S*H theme started playing again.
So, I decided to insert some M*A*S*H references here because I'm a little interested in the show. The Inklings are quite possibly the most interesting newcomers to Smash in quite a while.