I sighed as I walked down the hallway. Today has been a rough day. I was completely avoiding everyone right now. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I was feeling completely torn, my heart one way and my brain the other and my body was taking a toll on me. Did Aizen really love me? Did I like him? I don't know anymore. But then there's also- I ran into something.

" Kaori?" I looked up at Starrk.

" Hey Starrk. Sorry I was kind of wrapped up in my thoughts," I said rubbing the back of my head embarrassed.

" No problem. How are you feeling?" he said.

I sighed and shook my head no. I was feeling like shit. " Terrible," I muttered.

" Come on let's get a drink," Starrk said putting an arm around my shoulder and we walked and talked down the hallways. Starrk said he liked me too. Did I like him, or Aizen? Both of them said they wanted to take care of me. With Starrk I felt calm, at peace, but with Aizen my heart raced and I felt hot all over. So which is love? I opened the door to the bar and immediately shut it.

" What's wrong?" Starrk asked.

" Aizen's in there" I said freaking out.

" Still? Damn he's been there almost all day." Starrk said. He's been here all day? I peaked back in and saw Aizen sigh as he sipped his drink. He was depressed and it was my fault.

I gave my own sigh as I closed the door and leaned against it. " It's my fault he's like that. I hurt him and there's nothing I can do," I said sadly. I looked up and saw Starrk was staring at me. I coughed awkwardly and stood up. " Hey can we go to the tower and drink? I don't really want to be near him right now." I said

Starrk looked at me for a moment. Why was he just simply staring? " You're going to have to talk to him eventually. He's not over you," Starrk said.

" I… I know. But it just hurts even thinking of him. What's wrong with me?" I asked.

Starrk just stared at me for a bit longer. It was starting to make me uncomfortable. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. " You head up to the tower and I'll get the drinks. I'll be there in a few," Starrk said. I nodded and ran to the tower, hopefully away from the emotions I was feeling.

Starrk POV

I looked down at her carefully. Kaori was in love with him, not me. It was hard to admit but true. I knew it when she said she wanted to go save Aizen. She didn't know but I did see what happened to her that day. I quickly took out the arrancar I struggled against last time and went to check on Kaori. She had crawled over to Aizen and was wrapping his wound. He pulled her against him and whispered something in her ear. Kaori pulled away but Aizen pulled her back and they kissed. I knew then my fate was sealed. Maybe if I had just kissed her for real the first time then I wouldn't be in this situation now. I walked into the bar and sat next to Aizen.

" How much do you love her?" I asked him seriously. It got really quiet and Aizen turned towards me slowly and gave me a shocked look.

" Pardon?" he asked.

" How much do you love Kaori?" I asked him again.

He paused, searching for the right words. " Is there a single word to describe it?" he asked me but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at her even though she wasn't even there. He was thinking about her even though he was talking to me. I sighed again, frustrated with the perfect answer.

" No more sleeping with just anyone, in fact no more sleeping around at all. And don't just try to have sex with her the minute she agrees to go out with you. She's more fragile than you think. Treat her like she's the most important thing in the world, which she should be," I said to him. He just nodded, still a little shocked. I reached past the bartender and grabbed a bottle of booze and held it out to him. " She's on the southern tower roof." I said not even looking at him. Aizen nodded and grabbed the bottle but remained still.

" It doesn't matter how much booze I have. Kaori will never love me the way I love her," Aizen said defeated.

" She likes you back," I said matter of factly.

Aizen looked back up at me surprised. "What?"

" You heard me"

" But-"

" You need to pull it out of her. She's scared you're going to betray her like everyone else in your life. But you aren't right?" I asked.

Aizen smiled and shook his head no. " Never," he said. He began to get up but I grabbed his arm.

Aizenlooked at me one last time. " The second you mess up, the second she leaves you I'm taking her back understand?" I said.

Aizen smiled then said confidently, " I'm not going to let that happen." I smiled lightly and let go. Aizen ran out the door and down the hallway. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

" Something we missed out on Starrk?" Grimmjow asked sitting next to me.

" Nothing important," I said getting up.

" Where are you going?" Nnoitra asked.

" Where do you think? I'm going to bed. The only reason I stayed awake was so I could see Kaori every night. She doesn't need me anymore" I said while walking away.

" Don't just abandon her ok? She'll still want to be your friend," Szayel said seriously. I nodded as my reply and left. I want her to be happy, to smile. So if she smiles with him then I suppose that's all right. Just please smile again Kaori.

Normal POV

I sat on the handrail, waiting for Starrk to come up. I'll ask him what it's like to be in love, he'll surely know. It was a little colder than normal tonight, the wind making me shiver a little. I rubbed my arms, trying to get the goose bumps to go away. I watched the wind blow up dust over the desert sand then heard the door open but I didn't turn around.

" It's beautiful tonight hmm?" I asked. He didn't reply so I shrugged it off. " I'm sorry about earlier, the thing with Aizen. The truth is when Aizen kissed me I… kissed him back. And… I liked it. Is that wrong? It just felt so right. And I know he told me he loved me before but it felt different there. It was different from the time you kissed my cheek. It felt like I was drawn to him, like I didn't want to pull away in fear of losing that sensation forever. Is that love? Wanting to never let go of someone? Wanting to stay in that person's arms forever?" I asked. The wind blew and I shivered again.

I heard Starrk's clothes rustle and he put a jacket around me. Starrk doesn't wear a jacket, does he? I looked down and immediately realized whose it was. I turned too quickly and nearly fell backward off the railing but Aizen caught me bridal style. He smiled down at me and I blushed. Oh my God he was here the whole time! He gently set me down but kept his arms around my waist once I was standing. " I think that is love because that's the way I feel about you," he said smiling at me. I looked down and blushed even more, no longer feeling cold. He laughed and tilted my head back up. " I'm not going to let you say no to me anymore. Because I really love you Kaori," he said.

I stared into his eyes and saw the truth. " Can I really trust you?" I asked carefully.

" What does your heart say?" he asked seriously. I felt my heart skip a beat as I looked into his eyes.

I looked down and into my hands. All the bad sides of Aizen were flashing my mind. " I-"

" Don't think with this," Aizen said putting a hand on the side of my head and massaging it gently. " Think with this," he said taking my hand and gently placing it over my heart. And then I thought of all the good times I've had with Aizen. They made me feel so warm on the inside. I looked into those eyes and I felt so comforted by them. They were soft and warm only for me.

" I just need to make sure," I said quietly. He gave me a confused look but I kept staring at him. I raised my shaking arms around his neck and brought him closer to me. Just when he was close enough I grazed his lips with my own. I wanted it I wanted him. I closed the gap and kissed him for real. This was love then. The need to hold onto him for dear life, the desire to keep his mouth on my own, the feeling of his hair running through my fingers, all of it. I smiled into the kiss, happy at the realization. In the back of my mind I was thinking how wrong it was that I was doing this but the rest of my mind said fuck it. I pulled away and looked down, embarrassed by my own actions.

" So did you find out what you wanted?" Aizen asked slightly out of breath and amused.

" I think I did," I muttered and Aizen chuckled. " I uh I never kissed anyone before. Sorry I'm not any good."

Aizen tilted my head up and gave me an excited, shocked look. " Really?" Aizen asked escited and I shook my head no. He smiled, possibly his biggest smile yet, and leaned down to give me a deep but loving kiss. I didn't really understand why he was so happy about being the first to kiss me but that didn't matter right now. I was wrapped in the arms of the man who loves me underneath the crescent moon of Hueco Mundo. He is the man that is planning to take over the world but I didn't even care anymore because he is the man I love. Love, such a blissful, warm feeling.