Author Note:

Thanks for the warm welcome back, friends! So happy to see many who are still reading. Lots going on here (prepping for a big move currently) but so far I've been diligent about writing each night to keep me grounded.

Callie is slowly opening up and will continue to do so... Like most children, her capacity to deal with a complex situations is limited and fraught with mixed emotions-so reestablishing trust is going to be a tedious, back and forth process. Definitely there will be a time that Callie eventually approaches the Moms about Jeanine, but I'm not sure she has it in her to make the first move.

Hope you enjoy this next chapter, ~b

Chapter 32: Taming Worry Dragons

Callie was really enjoying how the afternoon had been going. Although still battling some residual queasiness, lunch had helped and the worst of it had now passed. As Callie followed her foster mother through the store, periodically being asked for her opinion on snacks or meals, she was reminded of the countless times she had done groceries with her own Mom. How Jude would happily chatter away in his stroller as long as she had a bag of carrots or a cauliflower head to hug to his small body. It became less easy as he got older, and her role had eventually morphed into chasing him around the store so Mom could focus on getting everything they needed.

This activity had simply vanished once she and Jude had entered care. Food suddenly became something that was tightly controlled and they had quickly learned that it wasn't smart to ask for it. Nor was it a good idea to try and help yourself. Food appeared, and just as easily disappeared.

It was a tough pill to swallow, coming from a home where whatever they wanted to eat they usually got, so long as it fit into the budget. Her Mom was not a good cook and they had had many strange meals growing up—hot dog weiners on minute rice was one that came to mind—but they never went hungry.

This house was different from any of the families she and Jude had stayed with. While there were rules around processed food and the women disapproved when snacking happened too close to meals, they were never not allowed to eat. In fact, she and Jude were constantly reminded to take whatever they needed from the kitchen without having to ask. Everything—the fridge, cabinets, and pantry which were usually filled to overflowing—was left unlocked, day and night. Seconds and thirds were always offered at each meal so that if you weren't full, it was hard to pretend you were and turn down food. And while Stef would complain that they were eating them out of house and home and that all her overtime hours were going towards their stomachs…she always said it happily, like she didn't truly mean it.

Grocery shopping was an errand that all the kids were expected to help out with, too. The last time she'd gone with Lena, she had been asked for one meal she wanted to have that week. When she came up with chicken and corn, it'd been easily granted, as if it wasn't a big deal at all. Together, they checked on which cut looked the best and the very next night they had homemade Shake n' Bake drumsticks with barbecued corn. Stef had even made veggie kebabs and potato salad as sides. It had been so easy, the experience filled with the warmth and familiarity of being part of a family and being cared for.

As Stef had anticipated, pulling Callie from classes so she could have her along for the rest of the day had been the right thing to do. With some guidance, her daughter had picked two meals: chilli mac n' cheese with kidney beans and tuna surprise with peas. Subtle traces of Callie's initial reservation at spending time together remained. She was quiet, keeping her responses polite and to a minimum. However, her overall demeanour was noticeably more animated and as time went on, she was easier to engage—smiling, making eye contact, and elaborating just a little bit more.

For the first time in days, it felt as though the dark clouds that'd been hanging over them were parting to let in some light. Seeing Callie begin to relax, the cop felt the weight of her own worries ease from her shoulders.

It was why she had no qualms about sending the girl across the parking lot on a coffee run while she waited in line to pay. Knowing Callie, she was probably dying to have some independence after being carefully watched following all of last week's adventures. To be honest, she needed the space, too.

Plus, in order to reassure Callie that she was well on her way to earning back their trust and to show how things could be if they continued to go well, the reins needed to be loosened a little. A short-term task where the chance of success was high would be a promising way to start.

"Here, Cal." She pulled a twenty from her wallet and handed it to the girl. "You must be hungry by now and I am fading her. Why don't you head over and get us some lattes and cinnamon twists?" she suggested, nodding towards the cafe.

Callie stared at the money in disbelief. "Okay. You mean, like…now?"

"Yes. Like now," the woman over enunciated. It was an ongoing challenge, to encourage their children to speak properly. "Straight to the car as soon as you're done, okay Sweets?"

"Okay!" the girl said excitedly, delighted she was allowed to go off by herself.

"You remember where we're parked? 1D." Though the storefront could easily be seen from where she stood in line, she was slightly apprehensive—the panic from when Callie had taken off last week still fresh in her mind.

"Yeah!"

Stef immediately felt her blood pressure spike when she arrived at the car half an hour later and her daughter was not there waiting as she had been instructed. She hadn't expected that it would've taken her that long to get through the checkout, but the cashier whose line she had been in had brought on a trainee which slowed things down significantly. By then, the groceries were on the conveyer belt and it would've been more work to bail than to wait it out.

As the cop loaded bags into the trunk, she tried not to get too worked up in regretting that she had let Callie out of her sight. Scanning the vicinity, she suddenly had the sense to double check the sign demarcating the section she had parked in—1D—before it dawned on her where her daughter might be. She locked the door and walked over to the next section, making it past a few rows before opting to go back for the car for efficiency's sake.

Nearly fifteen minutes later and having searched 1C in its entirety, Stef found Callie in 1E. It wasn't difficult to see how the mistake had been made. The spot the girl was in was identical in relation to the shopping cart return area and the landscaping for that section as the stall she had originally been in. Not to mention how similar D and E sounded.

Stef rolled down the passenger window as she idled the car at the end of the stall. "Callie!" she called. The girl was sitting on the low concrete divider that separated the stalls with her head in her hands, looking down. Between her feet was the travel tray of coffee and donuts. When Callie didn't appear to hear her, she tapped the horn lightly.

Her heart sank as her daughter's head jolted up and she caught sight of the astonished, forlorn expression on her face.

Although she was relieved to have Callie within her sight again, it quickly became evident that the girl was far from okay. The flushed, moist cheeks and reddened eyes gave away that she'd been crying. And having been outside in the heat for an extended period of time, her hair stuck to her forehead and the neckline and underarms of her grey t-shirt were drenched with sweat. Stef sighed, remembering that Callie was due for a shower check tonight—meaning that there would be much protesting and passive resistance.

"Bug," she murmured in a sympathetic tone. She grabbed the water bottle from the cooler bag behind her seat, untwisting the lid before placing it in the cupholder. Because her daughter would never ask.

"Hi," Callie mumbled. Not wanting her foster mother know she was crying, she turned to the window to brush her tears away.

"Hey…it's alright, we just got separated there," Stef consoled as they came to a stop at a red light. "I'm so sorry, honey. It's all my fault," she said, kicking herself for not having made sure Callie had the section right before letting her go. At the same time, she was trying to be careful with her words, not wanting to embarrass her daughter—or worse, minimize her feelings.

"I was starting to get scared, too," she admitted, thinking that sharing her anxiety might help Callie realize that she hadn't been alone in her fear.

Her hope was shut down quickly.

"I don't want to talk…I—I want to go home," Callie pleaded, her voice pitching with desperation. Frustrated she couldn't get a handle on her emotions, she reclined the seat slightly so she could curl her entire body away from the driver's side.

It wasn't that she was mad at the cop. She just couldn't cope with having to talk to Stef on top of trying to process everything that had happened. Not when she was already this tired.

Callie beamed with pride as she made her way through the lot, cinnamon twists and coffees in hand. She checked both ways before crossing the pedestrian walkway, paying attention to any cars that were backing up as she crossed several rows. It was a busy afternoon and the only parking spots that had been available when they arrived were off to the side—in the middle of a row directly across from the shopping cart return. Using the entrance to the parkade to landmark, she found the cart station and looked to the opposite side at the stall they'd left the car in.

Unable to see the black Explorer, she took a deep breath as she double checked her surroundings. Her back was to to the shopping carts. From where she stood, Callie could easily spot the large sign on the grocery storefront. To the right was the green privacy fencing, landscaped with trees and shrubbery, and the main entrance to the parking lot.

She was in the right place…but their spot was empty.

As Callie began to frantically go up and down each row, her pace quickened to rival her heart rate, which was now racing in its panic. Not having any luck, she returned to the first stall—the one she was certain they'd been in before. By then, the recycled paper travel tray was soggy, drenched from coffee sloshing out of the to-go cups and dripping down the sides as she ran.

She was keeping it together until she reached into her pocket and her fingers grazed the ten dollar bill and loose change. The twenty had initially seemed like a lot of money for what she had been asked to buy, but now everything was beginning to make sense.

It had left her with more than enough for bus fare.

Two servings of a coffee and donut was one for now and another for later.

Knowing that she would need to figure out how to get directions to the nearest shelter without a phone, Callie sat down on the concrete divider in the stall. She soon gave up when the only thought that occupied her mind was how Stef had sent her to the coffee shop with the intention of having enough time to pay and drive away without her noticing.

A little while later, it sank in that Stef was gone.

Only then did she know to cry.

The cop glanced over worriedly at the young girl as she pulled into the driveway. Wanting to respect Callie's request not to talk and knowing she was probably feeling self-conscious, Stef had turned on the radio, keeping the volume just high enough to offer some privacy. Realizing that there had been no movement from the seat beside her in over ten minutes, she was starting to think her daughter had drifted off—which only set off another cascade of concerns that Callie was not getting enough rest.

It was why Stef was so surprised to hear her speak up out of the blue.

"You came back," Callie said hoarsely. Not wanting to look at the cop, she kept her gaze out the window.

Puzzled by the statement, Stef frowned. "Of course I did, Sweets. Why wouldn't I have come back?"

She recognized as soon as she'd uttered the words, that for her daughter to be surprised she had returned, she must have thought that she had been left behind. That there had been a point in which Callie had been convinced no one would be coming for her.

The girl's reaction, which Stef had initially perceived as being a little over the top, suddenly made more sense. She let out a discouraged sigh as she turned off the radio; despite her understanding, she was at a complete loss as to what could be done about Callie's lack of security and anxiety. She and Lena had been trying hard to demonstrate that their living arrangement was permanent—and that their interest in having her and Jude a part of their family was genuine. The adoption was lined up and they made sure to talk about it often with the siblings, who always seemed excited by the idea. All that was left was to get through the next couple months without any more major bumps. Still, the cop had a feeling that there was a very real possibility that the adoption wouldn't erase all of Callie's insecurity.

Stef paused, considering how to best proceed before she killed the engine and walked around the SUV to open the passenger side door.

"Sit up," she instructed gently. She waited patiently as Callie did a halfhearted followthrough—swinging her legs off the side to face her before slumping against the seat, cheek pressed into the leather.

The woman smiled; at least there was some eye contact now.

Determined to provide her daughter with some comfort and keep her attention, she caressed Callie's thick hair, brushing the matted curls away from her face.

"I never—never left you," Stef said softly. Her heart broke for a second time that day as the girl stared doubtfully at her.

"I need you to say it back to me, Sweetheart."

"You didn't leave me," Callie said shakily. In her relief and exhaustion, that was all it took for the dam holding back her tears to break. This time, she didn't bother hiding them.

"No, I didn't. Never," Stef repeated, wanting desperately for her daughter to believe her. "Is that what you thought—that I left you behind?" This was something that needed to be addressed and she wasn't going to let this go easily.

She wasn't at all surprised when Callie shrugged. The look on her face said it all. Kinda. Maybe.

The girl dug the receipt and change out from her pocket before handing it to her."You gave me extra money."

It took a while for Stef to understand. "Yes, I did. Because I went to the ATM yesterday and they only do withdrawals in twenty dollar bills. And I thought a little extra would be good in case you happened to see something else you wanted to try."

Callie nodded reluctantly. That thought hadn't crossed her mind at all.

Stef pointed to the travel cups that sat untouched in the car. "Could you pass those to me?" She placed them on the roof so they wouldn't be forgotten. "I wouldn't have asked you to buy me a coffee if I wasn't planning on having one."

"I thought maybe it was three o' clock snack and dinner," Callie mumbled, mortified at how wrong her thinking had been. "Sorry…"

Stef cocked her head slightly, trying not to let her humour show. "Oh, Callie. That was not it at all, Bug."

She was caught completely off guard when the girl hopped down from the car, wrapping her arms around her neck in the process. The force was great enough to leave her winded.

"What…what's this for?" Stef managed as she struggled to free herself to reciprocate.

"Honey…" she fussed as her daughter began to cry softly and she felt tears slip onto the nape of her neck. "It's okay. It's okay. We got separated by accident, that's all that it was—nothing more than that," she reassured, wanting to ease Callie's distress as much as her's.

The thought of how lucky they were that Callie happened to stay in the parking lot, rather than giving up and leaving, was making her emotional. "Don't cry, darling. You did the right thing by staying in one place."

"I thought you weren't gonna come back!" Callie admitted as she drew in a shuddering breath. It had been a long time since she had found comfort in the presence of an adult, and as much as she was uncertain about the cop, this whole experience had been a reminder that she didn't have anyone else.

"Love!" the cop exclaimed in dismay. "I would never consider leaving you behind anywhere with the intention of not returning. I will always come back for you."