Well, I'm back for some more of this stuff. Did you miss me?
Kyma: Nah, I doubt the rain was really 'cos of you. And I'm glad you liked my story.
RedwingsFan: I don't like coffee, except the smell. Just like you. A challenge . . . okay, find out who wrote a) the first LotR slash, and b) the first LotR Mary-Sue on Ff.net. Muahaha.
Viktoreja Rose: Glad you liked it. I'm afraid I did go on holiday, to Switzerland and Wales, but I'm back now. You want a role? All I need to know is what name to use. Tolkien? Why has no-one suggested this before?
Imbefaniel: No worries, even I can't review all the stories I read. Ah, another HP fan. You liked being splatted? //Shakes head// Yay for plot twists!
Bulma Greenleaf: That's not selfish, why do you think I do self inserts everywhere? Maybe you came from Lorien . . . the Assistants. Well, most of you seem to be elves, either by request (Amariel) or by default (Chocolat Elf couldn't exactly be human). What did you want to be?
Amariel: No. You? Crazy? I'd never have believed it. Poor you, scared of lightning . . . thunder . . . whatever. Um . . . you have all of both casts . . . and the characters . . . riiiight. I'm not entirely sure how many of you there are - thinking about time travel makes my head hurt - but I doubt you'll bump into yourself. Unlike if you stay in your own house, because judging by the narritive in this review you're about five degrees away from a major breach of reality. I would hope that RosebLainy would keep you under control, but seeing what she's doing . . . //sigh//.
Roseblade22: Yep, and now I update again. I hope RotK is veryvery long. I'm sorry, LotR nut alert. Let me get this straight . . . you drooled over Johnny Depp, then jumped on a trampoline, then started stripping . . . outside . . . then rolled around on the floor . . . then went and drooled a bit more, and got very little sleep. Just out of interest, did you remember at any point to put your shirts back on? (Sorry, stalker personality coming out here). Oh, and you got wonderful presents. Or at least, wonderful to a fangirl. You know, I have a feeling I'm gonna have to bring in Sarah and her cloning machine from the Boromir Saga to deal with all the Legolas requests. //Sigh// More technicalities. I'm going to take some photos of myself in a big black coat, with pancakes, and paste Legolas' head on top if I ever get round to it. Which I will. Hey . . . maybe I could get Ispace involved in the Anti-Canon Police Crusade. Hmm . . . well. Graham Norton is evil incarnate, and he acts like a stereotype. I hate stereotypes. I'm not sure if you splatted anyone, but I know you do in this chapter. yes, Legolas has a sister, imported from my other story, 'Rings of Power'. Yes! Finally, someone who understands!
Malfoyelf: Yup, I'm a blatant self advertiser. The Fellowship didn't save him, this is the Legolas from before he even knew what a pancake was, such a looooong time ago. Yup, there's lots of me. And to make it even more confusing, we've actually going to meet at some point! Arrgh!
Elanhin: Yes, well done, you did magic. And I think you get to do some more. Um . . . I can tell you're in a crazy mood. And you're not stoned? O-kay . . .
Merrylyn: Ah, the wonders of Ff.net and repeating letters. The line in your review 'You have 636 reviews, that's insane!! I bet you break the 10 mark at this pace.' is a classic. Don't worry, though, I know what you meant. Ooh, yes, lots more splattable characters. Yeah, these tend to be long chapters, I think this one is too. But fear not, I will struggle on. Ah, a Hadir fangirl. Yup, poor Anva. And lucky Elanhin, she must be improving. Yup, I advertise my own stories. And your abilities are quite thingy, good. Yay for plotlines! And cloaks, of course.
Elenea: Hmm . . . you should post, really. Just not too often, which was the mistake I made here. I have a friend who claims Dubya will stay in, on the basis that he has no real competition. Still, we can hope.
Anon: Ah, crazy friends. I have several of them too. Yup, the cottage is back, but it has to appear again again before I finally wrap this up. If I do. Ooh, demon-elf. Are they as fun as firey demon mini-Balrogs?
RedwingsFan: Okay, but I'll deal with this separately ne'ertheless. Ah, hyperactivity. Aforementioned is a good word. And well done! //Applause// Have a . . . ooh, have a pancake, signed by Legolas himself! But you still need a challenge. Drat.
Pineapple Princess: I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while, I have just today come back from Wales, so . . . well. I don't know if Pirates is out over here in England yet . . . oh, it must be. William told everyone? Yes, but so did you, if anyone knoews who you are and bothers to read your review. Yay for padded walls!
Liliac (fangirl in training): Arrgh, time travel makes my head spin. There are lots of Legolas' in the same world, but it's a big place. The one who is met Anva wanders away from the four kids and eventually finds the Gingerbread House. So there really is only one, but his personal timeline is kinda screwy. No worries.
Hirilnara: Switzerland was hot . . . far too hot. Dark Lords don't like too much sun. Um . . . sorry, did I make that last chapter too twisted, 'cos I've only got a couple of people who understood. The stones ar just a party trick, and I told you not to use them. Don't worry, they'll be back. You got into Bath? WELL DONE!!!!! //Applause//. I realise this is a little OOC, but . . . have a virtual hug for doing so well!
Inweofnargothrond: Yay for gingerbread!
Legolas-lover-baby: Here you go. A brand new chapter, all for you.
Ah, finally. Here goes . . .
Lost Pancake Tales Twenty-Seven: The Riddermark
The eight were riding hard, south into warmer lands. Although it was not yet full summer, days of travel in such temperatures were having serious effects on horses used to the cool shadows of Lorien.
Chocolat Elf, who as the first of Legolas' helpers was now leader by default, pushed her horse to the limit to bring herself alongside Merrylyn and Hethien, te two Ispace representatives. Without preamble, the girl said, "This is killing the horses. We need replacements, or we'll never make it in time."
Merrylyn turned in her saddle. "And where do you plan to aquire more horses? I doubt if any of you have friends way out here."
Chocolat Elf ignored the implied insult and instead pointed east. We're passing through Rohan. If we change our coure just a little to the south, we can stop by at the Golden Hall."
Merrylyn seemed to think on this. "Hmm . . . Edoras . . . I always wanted to visit Edoras . . ." She snapped out of her semi-trance suddenly and swung back to face the front. "Hethien, head back and inform the others of the change of plan. Let's go visit the King!"
The eight rode up to the gates of the City of the Horse Lords. As Elanhin could, fortunately, speak their tongue, they were allowed entry even in this age of mistrust. Then came the question of what to do next.
"It would be quite simple to grab a few horses and get out," said Lainy as the six Helpers sat in an almost empty inn. "Which led me - well, me and Amariel - to wonder if, while we're here, we shouldn't do some of our Master's work for him."
Amariel, Chocolat Elf, Elanhin and Hirilnara nodded. Bulma looked uncertain, but then glanced down at her clipboard, which she always carried with her. Her expression cleared. "Well. There's a thing."
Looking up at the others, she explained. "I've just checked the Plan. If Legolas hadn't gotten himself captured, Rohan is where he'd be right now. This delay throws everything off. If we can do some catching up . . ." She shrugged, leaving the end of the sentence unsaid. It wasn't necessary.
As they were about to go and find their two companions, Elanhin asked, "What if the Ispacers object?"
Chocolat smiled. "They can't. It's outside their jurisdiction. No elves."
King Theoden sat on his throne, aged beyond his years. The lies of Saruman, though Grima Wormtongue, had poisoned his mind almost to the point of no return. But for now his advisor was absent, and his sister's children, Eomer and Eowyn, stood before him.
"My King," said Eomer, Third Marshall of the Mark, "we have -"
But whatever report he was about to deliver ws cut short by the sound of a commotion at the entrance. As those in the Hall turned the huge wooden doors were flung back and a white light flooded the room.
From the glow stumbled the guard Hama, his face coated with some kind of pastry. He staggered forward, clutching at his face, to collapse at Eomer's feet.
Now the glow began to fade, to reveal a long haired figure in white, arms outstreached, stepping in with five more beings behind it. Theoden raised himself slowly.
"Is it . . . Gandalf?" he croaked. Eomer looked back at his uncle, at which point the figure spoke.
"No, sorry," it said, in a female voice suffused with laughter, "wrong wizard. Nice to see you up, though. However, I must say, the long hair really doesn't suit you. Bulma? I believe you claimed this one."
SPLAT!
After that, time seemed to blur for Elanhin. She recalled using a fireball to melt Eomer's sword and stop him from decapitating Amariel, who subsequently pancaked him in the face. She also recalled having to shield Bulma, Chocolat and Hirilnara as the three of them tried to attack Eowyn and were defeated. it was only when Lainy intervened with a long shot from the other end of the Hall that the shieldmaiden finally went down. And then . . . it was all over.
The six suveyed the sticky red mess that covered the floor and much of the walls of the great hall of Meduseld. "Well," said Lainy after a pause, "I must say I never thought they'd be that effective."
Bulma nodded. "Quite artistic, actually."
Chocolat looked at Amariel. "Well done, kid. I never would have thought of strawberry jam pancakes by myself."
With that, they rushed out of the door and rode away, on the horses the Ispacers had got for them, and had waited patiently with outside the hall while the battle inside raged.
* * * *
And that's that. Phew. At least now I may get less requests for the splatting of Rohan personalities. One can but hope.
Hey, I've been away a while, so I've forgotten what reviews are like. Why not remind me?
hS
Kyma: Nah, I doubt the rain was really 'cos of you. And I'm glad you liked my story.
RedwingsFan: I don't like coffee, except the smell. Just like you. A challenge . . . okay, find out who wrote a) the first LotR slash, and b) the first LotR Mary-Sue on Ff.net. Muahaha.
Viktoreja Rose: Glad you liked it. I'm afraid I did go on holiday, to Switzerland and Wales, but I'm back now. You want a role? All I need to know is what name to use. Tolkien? Why has no-one suggested this before?
Imbefaniel: No worries, even I can't review all the stories I read. Ah, another HP fan. You liked being splatted? //Shakes head// Yay for plot twists!
Bulma Greenleaf: That's not selfish, why do you think I do self inserts everywhere? Maybe you came from Lorien . . . the Assistants. Well, most of you seem to be elves, either by request (Amariel) or by default (Chocolat Elf couldn't exactly be human). What did you want to be?
Amariel: No. You? Crazy? I'd never have believed it. Poor you, scared of lightning . . . thunder . . . whatever. Um . . . you have all of both casts . . . and the characters . . . riiiight. I'm not entirely sure how many of you there are - thinking about time travel makes my head hurt - but I doubt you'll bump into yourself. Unlike if you stay in your own house, because judging by the narritive in this review you're about five degrees away from a major breach of reality. I would hope that RosebLainy would keep you under control, but seeing what she's doing . . . //sigh//.
Roseblade22: Yep, and now I update again. I hope RotK is veryvery long. I'm sorry, LotR nut alert. Let me get this straight . . . you drooled over Johnny Depp, then jumped on a trampoline, then started stripping . . . outside . . . then rolled around on the floor . . . then went and drooled a bit more, and got very little sleep. Just out of interest, did you remember at any point to put your shirts back on? (Sorry, stalker personality coming out here). Oh, and you got wonderful presents. Or at least, wonderful to a fangirl. You know, I have a feeling I'm gonna have to bring in Sarah and her cloning machine from the Boromir Saga to deal with all the Legolas requests. //Sigh// More technicalities. I'm going to take some photos of myself in a big black coat, with pancakes, and paste Legolas' head on top if I ever get round to it. Which I will. Hey . . . maybe I could get Ispace involved in the Anti-Canon Police Crusade. Hmm . . . well. Graham Norton is evil incarnate, and he acts like a stereotype. I hate stereotypes. I'm not sure if you splatted anyone, but I know you do in this chapter. yes, Legolas has a sister, imported from my other story, 'Rings of Power'. Yes! Finally, someone who understands!
Malfoyelf: Yup, I'm a blatant self advertiser. The Fellowship didn't save him, this is the Legolas from before he even knew what a pancake was, such a looooong time ago. Yup, there's lots of me. And to make it even more confusing, we've actually going to meet at some point! Arrgh!
Elanhin: Yes, well done, you did magic. And I think you get to do some more. Um . . . I can tell you're in a crazy mood. And you're not stoned? O-kay . . .
Merrylyn: Ah, the wonders of Ff.net and repeating letters. The line in your review 'You have 636 reviews, that's insane!! I bet you break the 10 mark at this pace.' is a classic. Don't worry, though, I know what you meant. Ooh, yes, lots more splattable characters. Yeah, these tend to be long chapters, I think this one is too. But fear not, I will struggle on. Ah, a Hadir fangirl. Yup, poor Anva. And lucky Elanhin, she must be improving. Yup, I advertise my own stories. And your abilities are quite thingy, good. Yay for plotlines! And cloaks, of course.
Elenea: Hmm . . . you should post, really. Just not too often, which was the mistake I made here. I have a friend who claims Dubya will stay in, on the basis that he has no real competition. Still, we can hope.
Anon: Ah, crazy friends. I have several of them too. Yup, the cottage is back, but it has to appear again again before I finally wrap this up. If I do. Ooh, demon-elf. Are they as fun as firey demon mini-Balrogs?
RedwingsFan: Okay, but I'll deal with this separately ne'ertheless. Ah, hyperactivity. Aforementioned is a good word. And well done! //Applause// Have a . . . ooh, have a pancake, signed by Legolas himself! But you still need a challenge. Drat.
Pineapple Princess: I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while, I have just today come back from Wales, so . . . well. I don't know if Pirates is out over here in England yet . . . oh, it must be. William told everyone? Yes, but so did you, if anyone knoews who you are and bothers to read your review. Yay for padded walls!
Liliac (fangirl in training): Arrgh, time travel makes my head spin. There are lots of Legolas' in the same world, but it's a big place. The one who is met Anva wanders away from the four kids and eventually finds the Gingerbread House. So there really is only one, but his personal timeline is kinda screwy. No worries.
Hirilnara: Switzerland was hot . . . far too hot. Dark Lords don't like too much sun. Um . . . sorry, did I make that last chapter too twisted, 'cos I've only got a couple of people who understood. The stones ar just a party trick, and I told you not to use them. Don't worry, they'll be back. You got into Bath? WELL DONE!!!!! //Applause//. I realise this is a little OOC, but . . . have a virtual hug for doing so well!
Inweofnargothrond: Yay for gingerbread!
Legolas-lover-baby: Here you go. A brand new chapter, all for you.
Ah, finally. Here goes . . .
Lost Pancake Tales Twenty-Seven: The Riddermark
The eight were riding hard, south into warmer lands. Although it was not yet full summer, days of travel in such temperatures were having serious effects on horses used to the cool shadows of Lorien.
Chocolat Elf, who as the first of Legolas' helpers was now leader by default, pushed her horse to the limit to bring herself alongside Merrylyn and Hethien, te two Ispace representatives. Without preamble, the girl said, "This is killing the horses. We need replacements, or we'll never make it in time."
Merrylyn turned in her saddle. "And where do you plan to aquire more horses? I doubt if any of you have friends way out here."
Chocolat Elf ignored the implied insult and instead pointed east. We're passing through Rohan. If we change our coure just a little to the south, we can stop by at the Golden Hall."
Merrylyn seemed to think on this. "Hmm . . . Edoras . . . I always wanted to visit Edoras . . ." She snapped out of her semi-trance suddenly and swung back to face the front. "Hethien, head back and inform the others of the change of plan. Let's go visit the King!"
The eight rode up to the gates of the City of the Horse Lords. As Elanhin could, fortunately, speak their tongue, they were allowed entry even in this age of mistrust. Then came the question of what to do next.
"It would be quite simple to grab a few horses and get out," said Lainy as the six Helpers sat in an almost empty inn. "Which led me - well, me and Amariel - to wonder if, while we're here, we shouldn't do some of our Master's work for him."
Amariel, Chocolat Elf, Elanhin and Hirilnara nodded. Bulma looked uncertain, but then glanced down at her clipboard, which she always carried with her. Her expression cleared. "Well. There's a thing."
Looking up at the others, she explained. "I've just checked the Plan. If Legolas hadn't gotten himself captured, Rohan is where he'd be right now. This delay throws everything off. If we can do some catching up . . ." She shrugged, leaving the end of the sentence unsaid. It wasn't necessary.
As they were about to go and find their two companions, Elanhin asked, "What if the Ispacers object?"
Chocolat smiled. "They can't. It's outside their jurisdiction. No elves."
King Theoden sat on his throne, aged beyond his years. The lies of Saruman, though Grima Wormtongue, had poisoned his mind almost to the point of no return. But for now his advisor was absent, and his sister's children, Eomer and Eowyn, stood before him.
"My King," said Eomer, Third Marshall of the Mark, "we have -"
But whatever report he was about to deliver ws cut short by the sound of a commotion at the entrance. As those in the Hall turned the huge wooden doors were flung back and a white light flooded the room.
From the glow stumbled the guard Hama, his face coated with some kind of pastry. He staggered forward, clutching at his face, to collapse at Eomer's feet.
Now the glow began to fade, to reveal a long haired figure in white, arms outstreached, stepping in with five more beings behind it. Theoden raised himself slowly.
"Is it . . . Gandalf?" he croaked. Eomer looked back at his uncle, at which point the figure spoke.
"No, sorry," it said, in a female voice suffused with laughter, "wrong wizard. Nice to see you up, though. However, I must say, the long hair really doesn't suit you. Bulma? I believe you claimed this one."
SPLAT!
After that, time seemed to blur for Elanhin. She recalled using a fireball to melt Eomer's sword and stop him from decapitating Amariel, who subsequently pancaked him in the face. She also recalled having to shield Bulma, Chocolat and Hirilnara as the three of them tried to attack Eowyn and were defeated. it was only when Lainy intervened with a long shot from the other end of the Hall that the shieldmaiden finally went down. And then . . . it was all over.
The six suveyed the sticky red mess that covered the floor and much of the walls of the great hall of Meduseld. "Well," said Lainy after a pause, "I must say I never thought they'd be that effective."
Bulma nodded. "Quite artistic, actually."
Chocolat looked at Amariel. "Well done, kid. I never would have thought of strawberry jam pancakes by myself."
With that, they rushed out of the door and rode away, on the horses the Ispacers had got for them, and had waited patiently with outside the hall while the battle inside raged.
* * * *
And that's that. Phew. At least now I may get less requests for the splatting of Rohan personalities. One can but hope.
Hey, I've been away a while, so I've forgotten what reviews are like. Why not remind me?
hS