Chapter 36

Disclaimer: By now I'm sure you are well aware of the fact that, no I do not own much of anything. Calli, the girls and the baby not withstanding. :D

XXXX

"Harry's coming tomorrow." I could smack myself for only just remembering to tell Sirius. We were getting ready for bed and I had been brushing my hair out. Sirius glanced at me and nodded.

"I know." He stated and I let it go before what he said sunk in.

"Wait, what!? You know!?" I cried in shock, wondering where he got his information from. He smiled and came to sit beside me on the bed, snagging the hairbrush from my hand.

"Harry wrote me. I guess he figured with everything going on you'd forget to tell me." He explained as he took over what I had been doing. I could practically see his smile, so I leaned back so that I could shove his shoulder with mine a little bit.

"Shut up." I replied. He laughed before tying my hair up for me and resting his head on my shoulder.

"Didn't say anything." He pointed out as he wrapped his arms around me. Silence fell between us. I thought back to what Molly had said a few nights ago. With her opinion it made me think that I wasn't as paranoid as I thought.

"Sirius?" I asked softly, resting my hand on his arm. He nodded against my shoulder gently. I guess he'd caught the note in my voice and would wait for me to talk it out. I was glad, I probably would've talked myself out of what I was about to say if he had spoken.

"Do you still love me?" I shoved down my hesitation and decided to bite the bullet. Sirius spun me around in his arms before I could blink.

"What!?" He demanded looking horribly confused. I swallowed before proceeding to calm myself down. My nerves were fluttering all over the place.

"You and I, we haven't been the same for a while. Ever since the department of mysteries. I just started to think if it's because your feelings have changed." I explained and Sirius shook his head at me before pulling me into a tight hug.

"Sometimes you think the most stupid of things." He said. I shrugged as best as I could from within his tight squeeze but decided to stay silent. I'd said my bit and figured I'd be nice and give Sirius some time to think of a good response. I was also enjoying the hug immensely. I'd missed these small things that he did that made me feel like the most important girl in the world.

"My feelings for you have not changed one bit. I would still do anything to make you happy, keep you safe. Anything." He stressed the last word and I smiled as I pulled away slightly. He smiled back at me and pulled me down to lay beside him. He magicked the blankets to cover us.

"You do know how to make a girl feel special." I stated and he laughed before pushing a kiss to my forehead.

"Good it tells me I'm doing my job right. Now sleep I know you're tired." He ordered tightening his grip on me. I snuggled up close to him and took a deep breath to properly get a full scent of Sirius.

XXXX

I discovered that nausea and nightmares do not mix well in the morning. Sirius had relinquished his grip on me in the night so I was able to go running for the bathroom without alerting him. For just in case I cast a silencing charm on the door. Sirius would freak if he suspected I was sick. After I was finished I checked the clock. Looked like morning sickness was back.

"Not going back to bed then." I muttered to myself. The girls weren't up yet so I figured I could go make some coffee. That might take the flutters out of my stomach. When I got down to the kitchen I discovered an owl sitting on the sill of the window above the sink. I snatched the letter from it and gave it a treat in return before it flew off.

"Gringotts?" I wondered before cracking it open. The nausea returned as I read the contents.

Callista Annette Heartnet

After the death of Sirius Black, his will has been put into place and your part of the inheritance has been added to your vault. These items include:

Photo Albums

Monetary Funds

Jewelry

If you would like to preview these items they are in your vault.

I tried hard not to but I started to cry. If his will had been put into place then there was no question that he had died that day at the Ministry. Even if it had been only for a few minutes. I was also touched that he had changed his will. It must've been before we were married because my maiden name was used in the letter.

"Calli?" Sirius asked from the door. I looked up at him and gave him the best comforting smile I could manage.

"What's the matter?" I sucked in a deep breath and read the letter word for word to him. After I finished he sent me a comforting glance while he leaned his hands on the counter.

"I'm sorry. I'd completely forgot about the fact that I changed my will." He apologized. I laughed weakly and shook my head at him. He obviously was either trying to avoid the subject or his brain hadn't reached the point mine had.

"It's not that. Honestly, I'm flattered that you changed your will to include me just a few weeks after we'd met." I stated while walking around the island to rest my hand on his arm. He gave me a look, I could tell that he was thinking about the fact that only a few weeks after knowing me we had exchanged 'I love yous'.

"Then what is it?"

"If your will was put into place it means that you did die for a few seconds or even maybe a few minutes. Before this I could kind of lie to myself and think that you didn't die and had just scared the hell out of me." I explained. His hand clenched into a fist on top of the counter. I moved my hand from his arm to his fist to try and loosen it.

"Now I'm really sorry." Sirius' voice was laced with anger and guilt. Anger at himself no doubt. I shook my head before resting it on his upper arm.

"It's not your fault." I stated firmly. Our conversations these days seemed to be a little repetitive. He moved away from me and I reached for him but let my arm drop down to my side. I figured that that wouldn't make things better. I tried to make eye contact instead. I failed there too.

"I'm sick of you waking up every single night because of nightmares. I'm sick of hearing you cry. I'm sick of it." He announced venomously and I gave him a look.

"I'm sick of you making it your fault. I'm sick of you getting mad at yourself because you can't fix it. I'm sick of it." I returned the honesty. And I was. It seemed no matter what I said it was still his fault.

"I'm sick of people staring at you more than at me. I'm sick of people judging you because of me. I'm sick of it." I glared at him.

"I'm sick of you caring! I'm sick of you thinking that I'd be happier if I'd never married you! I am sick of it!" He finally looked at me but he didn't say anything.

"See you're not even going to deny it are you?! I'm sick of that too! I'm sick of you not telling me anything!" He started glaring at me. I did the same.

"No I'm not going to deny it! If we'd never gotten married we'd never have gotten here. We wouldn't have reached the point where you wake up crying every single night!" He shouted. I started waving my arms around to punctuate certain words like I did whenever I was angry.

"So what; do you think if we hadn't gotten married I wouldn't love you as much as I do now?" I requested loudly.

"Yeah sometimes I do! Happy!?" He roared and my anger deflated. I shook my head at him and waited until he explained.

"Sometimes I think I shouldn't have proposed so soon. Sometimes I think I should've tried to convince you to have a long engagement." He added. I noticed he didn't mention the girls and figured I'd start there.

"What about the girls? Do you regret them too?" If he did then my news about the next baby was going to be interesting. And here was another brilliant reason why I hadn't told him yet.

"No I don't. But sometimes I think they should've come a little bit later." He corrected. I let silence fall for a few minutes. Okay I was going to continue holding off on the baby thing then. Although what with the number of people who had been killed recently was a slight deterrent.

"Do you remember what I said to you the morning after you proposed?" I asked softly. If he remembered then that would hopefully explain my position to him. If he didn't, then I'd just tell him again.

"Yeah. I do." He answered.

"That still stands. Can you do that?" He laughed slightly and looked up at me. In that one look I had my answer but he was nice enough to voice it for me.

"God No. Could you?" He turned the question back on me. I sent him a dry look.

"I lost you once. I'm not letting you go ever again." I pointed out and he grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me in for a hug while nodding. I snuggled into him as far as I could. We stood there in silence for a few moments.

"Do you know what else I'm sick of?" I questioned, feeling the lump form in my throat.

"No." I could hear the curiosity in his voice. I let the tears out of my eyes.

"I'm sick of fighting with you." I admitted. He squeezed me tighter.

"Yeah me too."

XXXXX

Sirius and I went to the Burrow in the late morning, that was when we had been told to expect Harry's arrival with Albus. The door was answered by Fleur, who had a conspiratorial grin on her face. I sent her a questioning look, but that was quickly answered when I saw Harry and Hermione sitting at the table.

"Harry?" Sirius and I asked at the same time while Fleur scooped Bellatrix out of my arms so that I could adjust Andromeda. He launched out of his seat and threw his arms around Sirius.

"Hey guys." He stated after releasing Sirius and repeating his actions with me. I hugged him back as best I could and Andromeda giggled. I turned to Hermione.

"And when did you get here young lady?" I requested and she laughed while standing up and walking towards me.

"Yesterday afternoon." She answered as I wrapped my arm around her. I groaned, I'd forgotten about that too. Sirius laughed at me and I gave him a glare.

"I understand the fact that you forgot. You've had a hard week." She added and I sent her a thankful smile. She held out her hands and gave me a questioning look. I nodded and handed her Andromeda.

"Molly do you need any help with lunch?" I called softly and Molly smiled.

"Could you just cut those carrots please? That'd be lovely." I nodded and magicked the knife that was resting on the cutting board. Another sharp pain pierced my lower stomach. I frowned slightly before returning to the conversation. I noticed that Sirius was looking at me oddly, I shook my head at him, trying to tell him not to worry.

"We got our Owls today." Ron announced as soon as everyone was sitting down.

"Really?" I said excitedly. I'd never had the pleasure to take my owls or newts so I had never received results for them. My siblings had always been excited about them though and that had rubbed off on me. Everyone nodded.

"Did you do well?" I asked. Ron laughed and placed his hand on top of his girlfriend's.

"Hermione aced them. Harry did better than me." He stated. Hermione blushed and gave him a grateful smile.

"I'm sure that you and Harry were pretty even, Ron." I stated and the tips of Ron's ears turned pink. I knew that sometimes Ron felt pressured to be more (or less) like his older siblings. Being best friends with Harry Potter probably didn't help sometimes.

"He topped me in history of magic." Harry pointed out. Ron scoffed.

"You passed out mid way through the test because of that vision You-Know-Who sent you." He retaliated and I flinched. That vision had opened a whole other can of worms that Sirius and I were still in the process of dealing with. Everyone saw me flinch and fell silent.

"Sorry Calli. I wasn't thinking." Ron mumbled into this lap. I gave him a weak smile.

"Don't worry about it." I brushed it off and changed the subject.

"When's everyone going to Diagon Alley? You'll need to see Fred and George's shop." I stated. Molly pursed her lips and I wondered suddenly if that had become a taboo subject.

"Don't know yet." Ginny threw in, obviously sensing the same thing I was.

"Have you been there yet?" Harry requested and I nodded.

"Yeah Sirius and I went a few days ago. It was brilliant."

XXXX

"Again Sirius?" I asked. He was giving me a sheepish look. I needed to have a really long talk with Albus.

"He wants to show me where I'll be hanging out. It should only be a few hours." I was trying to remain clam but this would be the third night this week he'd be away. If Sirius thought the nightmares I suffered were bad when he was here, then he had no comprehension of what they were like when he wasn't. Most times it got the the point where I'd just sleep with the lights on so that I wouldn't loose what little hold on my sanity I had.

"Couldn't he do that tomorrow? In the daylight?" I requested. What with recent events I think he could understand why I was hesitant to let him just go wandering around at night, even if he was with Albus. Sirius sighed.

"You're going to have to get used to the idea that I won't be there with you." He replied. I bit my lip. I was trying very hard to get used to the idea. I couldn't say I was succeeding though.

"I know. Just because I agreed to this doesn't mean I have to like it." I pointed out and he laughed while pulling me against him.

"I'd be concerned if you did." He replied. In truth I was dreading the day Albus needed him to leave. I think that they were trying to plan it for when I would be going back to work in Hogsmeade, mostly likely hoping that I would get too distracted with work to worry about Sirius. A good idea, but unfortunately, would only work for a couple of months before I ended up back on maternity leave. Then again, neither of them were aware of that tidbit of information. I vowed to myself to tell Sirius before he left for his mission. The instant I knew the exact day he was leaving.

"You should head over to the burrow." He stated. I raised my eyebrow up at him before shaking my head at him.

"I'm staying here for tonight." He frowned instantly when my intentions clicked together in his head. I held up a hand when he opened his mouth.

"If you are going to go wandering around tonight then I'm going to stay here. Besides there's no room at the burrow and we have loads of it. Also I have to get used to being without you and you have to get used to the idea that I'll be spending lots of nights alone." I added. He shut his eyes and nodded.

"I hate it when you're right." He muttered while taking a few steps towards me and pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Lock the door the instant I'm gone and don't open it unless you are absolutely sure that I'm me when I come back." He reminded me before heading towards the door after I nodded my head. He stood on the porch until he heard me slid the lock into place. This was going to be a long few hours.

XXXXX

After exactly three hours Sirius knocked on the door. I crept towards it and pulled the door open slightly, just enough for us to talk to each other with ease.

"What did Sirius Orion Black say to me when he proposed?" I whispered softly. If Sirius was actually Sirius then he'd be able to quote himself word for word. It was perfect since I remembered exactly what he'd said that night.

"Calli, I don't know exactly what love is but if I honestly think about it I think I have loved you since the instant you walked into the dining room of your first meeting. I realized it the day you had your panic attack in the library but I wasn't brave enough to tell you until I heard the story about your siblings. I know how short this relationship, if you could call it that, has been but I know that if you think about it you will understand just like I do how right this feels. Callista Heartnet will you marry me?" He answered and laughed slightly as I let out a breath of relief after he finished.

"Where did I take Callista Annette Black on the day of her twenty fourth birthday?" I rolled my eyes slightly. I pick a question where he had to recite a whole speech. He picks one where I can answer with one word.

"Hogwarts." I replied and pulled the door open all the way. I hugged Sirius tightly.

"That was a really crappy question." I pointed out and he laughed again.

"You're hair gave you away. You changed colours at least four times during that." I stuck my tongue out at him.

XXXX

HA! I finally updated! Okay so this chapter wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Thanks so much for reading!