36.
Dally, Two-Bit and Steve scoured the town until midnight, but the blue car had disappeared deep into the bowels of Soc territory. When Dallas got back the house was shrouded in darkness; so much so that he wondered if anyone was still there. Lord was laid by the front door, watching him with piercing eyes as Dally kicked off his shoes. He bent down and pressed a hand into the fur behind his ear for a deep scratch. The rottweiler's tongue lolled out to lick it's maw, but besides than that, Lord didn't react. Dallas left him there and headed up the stairs, panic gurgling up in his chest. Things were too quiet; too sullen. The last time he had entered a house this somber was at the Curtis', the day of their parent's death. He hurried down the hall, restraining from throwing Johnny's bedroom door open as he moved inside. Ellie was curled up at the foot of the bed, using Lady for warmth. The kuvasz's leg was bound neatly; Soda's handy-work. Dallas went over to Johnny first, sighing heavily through his nose at the sight of his friend's chest and it's steady rise and fall. Most of Johnny's swollen face was covered in a bandage, and though Dally knew it was only to stem the bleeding of a singular cut, it made him look worse than ever. At least his shoulder had been popped into place and his fingers splinted. He'd heal faster if they took him to see a doctor, but there wasn't anyone to pay the hospital bills and it was too much of a risk if they tried to get a hold of Johnny's parents.
Dallas pushed a few stray locks from the boy's forehead and swore softly under his breath.
"He looks like something you'd see in 'Nam, doesn't he?" Ellie whispered and Dallas turned to her. She had been asleep a minute ago, but now she stared at him through sleep-heavy leashes.
Dallas rounded the bed and scooped her up. He was always surprised at how light she was. "Come on."
"I don't want to go!" Ellie whispered frantically, latching onto the bed post and wiggling in his arms. "I need to watch him! I need to-"
"Calm down." Dally mumbled, shifting so that he had a better grip around her. "He's fine; he's not going to keel over in the middle of the night."
She stopped struggling and let him carry her to the bathroom. He sat her on the toilet. A washcloth sat in the sink, soaked in watered-down blood.
"What are you doing?" She asked as he grabbed her toothbrush and ran it under water before squeezing a glob of toothpaste onto the bristles. He handed it to her, then went to rinse out the washcloth. Waiting until the water ran clean, he rung it out until it was damp.
"Lift your hands."
She did as instructed, seemingly surprised by the scratches embedded in her palms. "How'd I-...?"
Dallas was silent as he cleaned her hands. He used her tweaser to pick out the slivers, gripping her wrist tight when she jerked away in pain.
"This hurts." She whined, her brows knotted together. He finished up as quickly as he could, leaving the smaller slivers hoping they'd wash out naturally. Then he picked Ellie up again, felt her hands wrap around his neck as he carried them into the hall and through her bedroom door.
"Have you eaten anything?" Dallas asked, depositing her into the nest of blankets and pillows on her bed.
She rolled over onto her stomach, pressing her face into the mattress."I don't want to eat."
He went downstairs and came back up with a sandwich; thick with cold slices and extra mustard. With a little prodding he managed to get her sitting up again.
"I don't want to." Ellie complained again when he handed her the sandwich.
Dallas gave her a look. "Don't argue."
She flipped the edge of the bread to peek inside, then took a small bite. Satisfied, he turned away to shrug off his jacket, then his jeans and socks. Ellie had already made space for him on the bed when he was finished. Her sandwich was gone, the last remnants being chewed away in her mouth as she swiped crumbs off the sheets.
He got under the covers and flipped off the lamp. Ellie shuffled around for a moment before he felt her back press against his side.
"I guess you never found them." She mumbled into the darkness.
"I will."
"And then what?" She continued, "Beat them up?"
Dallas threw his arm up and rested it over his eyes. He had just run out of smokes but he was hankering for one now. "At the very least."
Ellie twisted around, propped herself up on her elbow and pulled his arm away to see his face. "You'll wind up in jail. Two-Bit and Steve as well. And then who wins?"
Dallas kept his eyes shut, taking deep breath. "We never win, Princess."
She didn't say anything for a moment, then leaned so far over him that her torso was off the bed.
"What the hell are you doing?" He grumbled, grabbing her leg to keep her from falling.
"P.J.s." She stated, crawling back up with his t-shirt in hand. Tugging her dress over her head, she replaced it with his clothes, then crawled back under the covers. "Honestly, when you left I was hoping you would find them. This kind of stuff- ... I've never been jumped before. All I could do was stand there while they hurt him. I wanted... I wanted to..." She swallowed, her voice filling with tears. "I thought he was dead."
Dallas had thought Johnny was dead as well- still couldn't believe he was alive. A hot, nauseated feeling overcame him every time he pictured it; Ellie sobbing in the field, haunched over a mangled body. He sighed again.
She pressed her back against him again, warm and soft. He moved onto his side and threw an arm around her waist.
"Dally?"
"Hm?"
Her hand brushed over his. "I'm glad you're here."
"-The fair girl went on her knees and bent over me, fairly gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal-" Ellie set Dracula face down against her lap. "Are you awake?"
Johnny was lying along the length of the bed, his torso bare and his legs covered by a heavy duvet. He was very quiet, staring up at the ceiling. Ellie could see he was thinking about something very deeply, and debated on whether it would be good to interrupt him. She peered down at him from her seat by his head. When she didn't get a reaction, she began to read again.
"-Till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and the red tongue as it lapped the white teeth-" She put the book down again. "Johnny? Are you okay? Do you need more painkillers? Are you hungry? Do you need to use the washroom?"
She pressed the back of a hand to his cheek, the thick scab scratching against her palm. The touch seemed to catch Johnny's attention; his blackened eyes softened as they turned to her.
"Ellie?"
"Johnnycake?" She smiled, trying to push back the worry that was no doubt written across her expression.
His frown deepened. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you better."
Ellie didn't know how to respond right away. She shook her head, her mouth falling open and then snapping shut, searching for the right words. "Johnny, I..."
"I should have-"
"Stop it." She finally managed to say, "Johnny, you did everything to keep me safe. I can't even imagine what would have happened if I was alone."
Johnny turned back to the ceiling, her words having no impact. "It wasn't enough though, was it?"
"Are you upset because you were beaten up?" Ellie tossed the book down the length of the bed and turned fully to him. "There were five of them. Nobody- not even Darry- could have fought that many and win."
"No one would even dare jump Darry."
She could hear the hidden meaning behind his words, but struggled to understand it. "Darry is huge, Johnnycake. That's just how he turned out to be."
"So this is just how I've turned out to be then?" Johnny asked, and she was shocked to hear the bitterness in his voice. "The perfect size to beat the crap out of?"
"T-that's not what I mean. Steve and Soda and Dally are smaller too and they-" Ellie didn't quite know how to finish the sentence without twisting her own words. She took a deep breath. "What is this really about?"
"I'm just..." He caught her gaze, saw something in it that made him uncomfortable, and turned his head away. His uninjured hand balled up in anger. "I'm just tired of being shit on all the time, Ellie."
As if he couldn't stand to sit still any longer, Johnny hiked himself up on his elbows and kicked himself up into a sitting position.
"You need to rest, Johnny. It'll take a little longer for your ribs to heal." Ellie put a hand on his shoulder, wincing as he brushed her off. She didn't say anything more as he tried to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, his arms quaking in weakness and pain. While the swelling had quelled and the bruises had begun to fade over the weeks, his appearance hadn't brightened. His appetite had waned, his hair and skin was dull, and bags were setting under his blackened eyes from lack of sleep. Even Soda or Two-Bit struggled to bring a smile to his face. All Johnny wanted to do was lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling.
Johnny brought his hand up to examine- three of his fingers were in make-shift splints. "It's always me."
"That's not your fault." Ellie said, praying he'd believe her.
It was hard to see him this way. They were usually so close. Their year-long friendship felt more like decades of kinship. He knew all her sorrows and joys; Ellie always thought she knew just as much about him. Everyone had hoped his melancholia would fade away with the injuries, but it had only grown worse. Despondency had turned into frustration and he had never been so far out of reach as he was at that moment.
He shook his head. She wondered if he was even listening.
"I can't...do this." Johnny mumbled, as if he was speaking to himself. He had collapsed deep inside himself and she wasn't quite sure who was speaking anymore. "I can't stand feeling everything anymore."
Ellie's belly sank. "That's just life, Johnny. Sometimes it hurts, but-"
"It doesn't have to." Johnny interrupted, "It only hurts if you let it."
"So what? You're just going to bottle everything up?" She felt her own frustration- resentment towards herself for not being able to soothe him- bubble forward. "Become all hard and cold just so you don't have to feel?"
Johnny tensed at her tone. "Works for Dallas."
"Does it?" Ellie asked, letting out a dry, disbelieving chuckle. "He likes to pretend he doesn't feel sadness, grief, fear... hell, maybe he doesn't. But when was the last time he laughed over something silly, or expressed affection freely, or told... or told someone he loved them? Now he's been like that for so long he doesn't know any other way. It's not admirable, Johnny, it's... it's just not."
This time he seemed to hear her words, though whether they really sunk in, she couldn't be sure. He stretched his unbandaged fingers, touching them to his palm and then outwards over and over again. "Maybe that's what it takes to survive."
Ellie inched across the bed. She pressed her hand against his cheek and turned him to look at her. "You are not Dallas. I know things can feel really dark sometimes, but you're strong enough to get through it, just as you are now."
"But what if I'm not?" Johnny asked, and all of a sudden his anger melted away and there were tears running down his face, tracing the outline of her hand still on his cheek. His voice cracked as he went on, "You don't understand, Ellie. I can't take it anymore. I have to do something- something has to change. I'd thought it would go away when I got out of that house but it didn't. It followed me, Ellie. I don't even know if I've ever been okay, or if I ever will be or-..."
He had grown more frightened as he went on, clutching the fabric of his shirt as if it was shrinking against him. Then suddenly he stopped all together, shivering and staring blankly across the room.
"Johnny?" Ellie asked, her own hands shaking as she moved from his cheek to his shoulder.
"I'm real sorry, Els." He said, easing back down to rest his head on the pillows. "I don't feel good right now. Can you go back to readin'?"
Ellie didn't fight him. She grabbed Dracula and went back to her previous seat. When she read her jaw ached and the meaning of the words slipped through her mind.
"Where have you been?" Ellie huffed, stomping up to him on the street, her heels clacking angrily against the pavement. She had her coat pulled tight around her, fighting off the stinging wind. "It's been two weeks you dirtbag!"
Dallas turned his head around, brows furrowing at the sight of her. "How'd you find me?"
"I asked all the boys and they wouldn't tell me anything." Ellie followed as he started down the street again, "So I had to go to Tim's house-"
"I told you," Dallas grit out, "to stay away from him."
Ellie couldn't understand why he was so worried about Tim. He hadn't pulled a single move on her since before she had started dating Dallas, and even then it hadn't seemed sincere. It wasn't as if she had even gone to his house alone either- Angel had been there and was more than willing to harass her brother for information.
"Why do I have to listen to you?" Ellie huffed, "How do you suppose you'd even stop me? You're hardly around!"
Dallas ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not getting into this again. I'm busy, alright?"
She had to nearly jog to keep up with him down the street. "Doing what?"
"None of your business." He stopped at the end of the block, scanning up and down the near empty road. "I've gotta go. I'll come see you later tonight."
Ellie ignored the dismissal, following him around the corner. The street in front of them was dirtier than the last, lined with day-old garbage bags and foggy with steaming , squat apartment buildings were on either side, ranging from dingy to abandoned. The street's only occupants were two fighting cats in the adjoining alley way, noticed only by their screeching. She grabbed his jacket sleeve to keep close. "That's not why I'm here, Dallas. Everyone's been in and out of the house every day to see Johnny. Everyone except you."
Dallas didn't respond. Something far down the road had caught his attention.
"He wants to see you." Ellie added.
"How do you know?"
"He looks up to you." She stepped into his path and turned to face him, cutting him off. Dallas was forced to turn his gaze from the street to her." He needs your support right now, more than anyone."
Dallas rolled his eyes and moved around Ellie."You're overthinking things."
"I'm not." She insisted, matching his quickened pace. "Johnny's different, Dally. He's... not... he's not coping well and I'm really worried."
Dallas jammed his hands in his jacket pocket to keep them out of the cold, then crossed the street. Like a dog on a leash, Ellie followed. He seemed to have no interest in her pleading, nor did he seem particularly worried. But she couldn't relent just yet. Johnny had been wrong about Dallas- at least on the subject of closing himself off to survive. But he had been right about one thing; Dally and Johnny had both struggled through similar childhoods, and thought their personalities couldn't be more different, the defining thing about their friendship was that they understood. They understood how it felt to be beat down, to live without love, to have nothing, to expect nothing. No matter how close she felt to Johnny, Ellie would never truly grasp how he felt- could never fathom the damage those hardships had inflicted on his mind and soul.
"Promise me you'll see him today." Ellie demanded as they stopped again, sandwiched between a windowless bar and a row of muscle cars. Two greasers in their twenties were laughing and chain smoking at the entrance of an alley. Leaning back against the brick wall a few paces away, Dallas pulled out a cigarette. He smoked in silence, scanning up and down the street as if he was waiting for someone.
"Dallas-"
"You ain't in much of a position to order me around anymore." He said, talking over her. "If remember correctly, you broke up with me weeks ago."
The two greasers passed them as they went back inside the bar. One let his gaze linger on Ellie for a moment too long, a lecherous smile on his face, but besides that they paid the two no mind. Once they were safely through the door, Dallas kicked off and rounded one of the cars- a souped up corvette.
"As if you'd listen to me if we were still dating?" Ellie waited on the sidewalk, speaking to him over the car's roof. "Well, fine! Then as your friend, I'm ordering you to visit Johnny- what are you doing?"
Dallas had been fiddling with the driver-side door and she hadn't noticed until it popped open. They made eye-contact across the car roof.
Ellie stepped back. "No, no, no, no, no, no- Dallas! What the h-heck are you doing?"
"You better get in." He shrugged. "The Brumlys won't be too keen to see you standin' alone on the street after I race off with their car."
"The Brumlys?" She hissed, "The Brumly Boys? You're stealing from the-"
Dallas slid in front of the steering wheel, reaching over to flick open the door for the passenger seat. "Ellie, shut up and get in the fucking car."
She wavered on the sidewalk, shaking her head. Not for the first time, she cursed herself for ever getting involved with Dallas Winston. She had been a good person, not long ago. Now she her life was a string of horrible decisions.
"If you don't get in right now, I'm leaving you here."
Still shaking her head, Ellie rushed into the passenger seat and slammed the door. She had to grab onto the dashboard as he twisted the car out of it's parking spot and raced down the street like the hounds of hell were chasing him.
Ellie turned in her seat to look out the back window. A handful of unfamiliar Brumly boys were spilling out of the bar and shouting. Some even made an attempt to chase them down, but Dallas lost them in a matter of seconds.
"I can't believe this is happening to me." She whispered, mostly to herself as she turned around. "Why do I let this stuff happen? I could have said no. I could have walked away. Hell, I should have never come in the first place."
"You're swearing." Dallas observed.
"I need to start getting used to it, now that I've committed to a life of crime." Ellie crossed her arms over her chest, sulking in her seat. "Want to rob a bunch of banks while we're at it? We can be like Bonnie and Clyde."
"Who the hell are they?"
"Maybe you should actually watch the movies at the drive-in instead of macking on girls."
"Jealous?" Dallas said, smirking that horrible smirk that managed to both infuriate her and burn her up from the inside out. "Last time I checked I was free to do whatever I wanted with who ever I wanted."
Ellie's gut twisted. She didn't say anything for a moment, turning to the window so Dallas wouldn't be able to see how much the thought of him with someone else stung. When she could trust her voice again, she mumbled, "Sylvia must be happy to have you back, then."
"What the hell does that bitch have to do with anything?" Dallas growled, his temper flaring at the mention of her name.
Ellie could feel the tears begin to swell and she shut her eyes to wish them away. Hadn't she vowed to stop crying? She took a shaky breath, willing herself to be brave. "Are you telling me that you would say no to her? After all the months I made you wait?"
"Listen, I haven't ever done anything I didn't want to do, got it? " Dallas stopped at a red light. He flicked the rest of his cigarette out the window and slipped his hand onto her thigh just above her knee. The smell of smoke and his cologne was stronger as he leaned in close to her. "You're my fucking girl, even when you're acting like a goddamn lunatic."
Ellie wanted so badly for him to kiss her then, but then the light turned green and the car behind them honked angrily. Dallas turned his attention back to the road. She licked her parched lips nervously. His hand stayed on her thigh, brushing absentmindedly over her knee and then lower before looping back up. Though he seemed to think nothing of it as he drove, the motion was steadily setting Ellie on fire. She wished they could stay like this; a moment without expectations. But eventually they'd have to face reality again- face the facts. They were together but broken up; fighting and then teasing; wanting different things but still wanting each other.
They drove deeper into the suburbs and Ellie recalled the stolen car they were sitting in. "Where are we going?"
"The D.X." Dallas admitted, and a few minutes later they were pulling into the garage.
Soda and Steve scrambled away from the hood of a rusty farm truck to meet them. They're smiles fell as Ellie slid from the passenger seat and into view.
"Damn it, Dallas!" Steve whined, tossing a wrench into a stuffed tool box a few feet away. "This is why I hate workin' with you! Now everyone's gonna know."
Dally shrugged, rounding the car to sit on the hood. "Gimme my money."
"We asked for parts, not the whole car." Soda told him, stringing his arm around Ellie's shoulder. "Hey, Els... you won't tell my brother, will ya'?"
"Relax." She rolled her eyes, "Johnny told me about you two ages ago. But I'm a little insulted that you'd think I'd tattle on you."
Soda's smile was sheepish. He pulled teasingly on a strand of her hair as if was a suitable reply and she shoved her shoulder into his side in retaliation. They watched Steve lead Dallas into the office attached to the garage, visible through a wall of glass. Dallas sat down on the edge of the desk as the other boy rummaged through the drawers.
"You still with him, then?" Soda asked into her ear.
Ellie sighed. "I don't know. Are you still with Sandy?"
"Touche." He chuckled gently- falsely, but Ellie didn't pry. She didn't want to have to explain herself either, mostly because she didn't have an answer.
Soda propped the hood of the car and examined it's innards. He whistled. "Everything I needed and more. Dally'll be swimmin' in cash this month. If you want something nice, now's the time to ask."
Ellie followed him over, glancing uninterestedly at the parts. Everything looked like one big mess of metal, tubes, and wires. "Nothing I want can be bought."
Dallas and Steve came out of the office. Dallas was cramming something bulky into the inner-pocked of his jacket as they approached them again- presumably his reward for the car.
"One of you drive her home." Dallas demanded, flicking his finished cigarette into the floor and smooshing it with his shoe.
Steve and Soda exchanged a look, mischievous but otherwise unreadable.
"Neither of us have a car." Steve shrugged, "Sorry, buddy."
Dally scowled at them.
Ellie began to button the rest of her coat up. The wind was howling outside. "It's only a few streets down. I'll walk."
"Like hell you will." Dallas shot back immediately, digging out another cigarette. Ellie up at him questioningly, her hands still against the button at her throat. He had an angry expression on his face- though really, when did he not? Did he scared that she'd get jumped again?
Ellie didn't say anything as he grasped her hand and pulled her for the garage doors.
"You comin' to Buck's tonight?" He called back to the boys.
"Of course!" Steve hollered back, "We wouldn't miss it for the world!"
Dallas didn't bother to respond. They walked in companionable silence all the way to the main road. She was surprised that he hadn't released her hand yet; she could feel his thumb drawing slow shapes along her skin, his ring pressing into her fingers. He must have been in an exceptionally good mood.
"How much money did you get for the car?" She asked, resisting the urge to add a premand. Her hope for the boys to lead straighter lives had died a long time ago. Now the chiding was more of a habit if anything.
Dallas ran a hand through his hair. "Just enough, but not as much as I should have gotten."
"What are you spending it on? The vet visit for Ruby?"
"Mostly, yeah...She-uh..." Dallas paused- an uncharacteristic hesitation. Ellie looked up at him with an eyebrow quirked questioningly. He cleared his throat and turned away. "Shit. Well, I 'ought to have enough to get her to the vet now. I better do it soon, too. Slash has been grumblin' about putting 'er down."
Dallas sounded strained as he spoke, as if the subject was as painful to say as it was to think about. Ellie pressed into his side, hoping the extra contact would be comforting. She couldn't imagine how it must feel to have a beloved animal so close to death. When she had noticed Lady was bleeding she wouldn't let Soda leave the room until she was fixed up, but she had only been injured and not even remotely dying. He must have felt so useless, watching Ruby suffer but not being able to treat her.
"I'm sure she'll be fine." Ellie tried to sound convincing, even when she knew he wouldn't believe her. Dallas was a lot of things, but he wasn't naive.
Dallas didn't respond for a long time. She kept herself entertained by trying to peek into the windows of the houses they passed. Eventually he let go of her hand to pull out another cigarette.
"I used to be real clingy as a kid." He said, his voice muffled as he tried to keep the smoke steady in his mouth. "My father had me pretty young- somethin' like sixteen or seventeen. He didn't really know what to do with me. I remember trying to impress him all the time, maybe catch his attention- I don't know..."
He stopped for a moment to tuck his lighter back into his pocket and take a deep drag. "Anyway, my old man used to lock me up in the closet or ditch me around town to get me out of his way. Eventually I figured out the score and started fending for myself."
Ellie blinked up at him, confused. Why was he-...? "Are you trying to tell me about yourself?"
"You fucking asked."
"What-...?" Ellie stopped. She could see from his expression that he was beyond uncomfortable, his words chopped and sour in his mouth. There was more to the story than just that. If he didn't want to relive it- to say it out loud and make it real, then she wasn't going to make him. The rest of it didn't matter. What mattered was that he had tried...
Dallas had chosen her, even when he knew she would want to wait until marriage. When that didn't work, he had proposed and she rejected him because she claimed- among other things- she didn't know anything about him. And now this. Dallas was always trying. It was her that was constantly making excuses, finding reasons to run instead of fight. She was a coward and he was so much braver than she could imagine.
"And my birthday is in January." He added when she didn't say anything.
Ellie nodded. She still wasn't quite sure what to say, but she knew what to do.
"Where are you going to be tonight?" She asked, throwing Dally's arm over her shoulder as they started walking again.
"At Buck's." He shrugged. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to go, actually. Get your mind off things."
She thought about it for a moment, then nodded resolutely. "Okay."
"Okay?" Dallas scoffed, a lazy half-smirk lifting at his mouth. "Does this mean you're finished being a crazy bitch?"
Ellie crossed her arms over her chest and tried to shrug off his arm, but he only slid it back over her. "I'm not a crazy-... You smashed a glass the other day. Then threw me out. Then came slinking over to my house, drunk, and tried to pretend like everything was perfectly fine. I had a right to be angry."
"You broke up with me." He shrugged, taking another drag. "But I figured you'd come around. Can't ever get enough of ol' Dallas Winston."
Ellie jabbed him hard in the ribs. "You jerk."
"You bitch." Dallas replied smoothly, catching her off guard with a kiss. She brought her hand up to slap him but he pulled away too quickly, laughing.
He was right. Elle would always forgive him; always come running back. And maybe that was okay. She couldn't say if they were meant to be- couldn't promise they'd still be together five years from now, or even five days. But it felt like fate every time Dallas touched her or even looked at her and she was just so damn tired of trying to deny it.
Pony and Johnny had textbooks sprawled across the bed when Dally came up to meet them, a notebook and pencil in each hand.
He sat by Ponyboy and made a face at the papers. "Homework? Even now?"
"Johnny can pass if he keeps up with assignments." Ponyboy explained as they began to gather the textbooks. Dallas' presence seemed to be a good excuse as any to stop working. "If he decides to actually do them."
Johnny tossed his notebook onto the bedside table and leaned back against the headboard. "Don't start again that again. I'll do 'em later."
"No." Pony grumbled, stuffing his textbooks into his bag and leaving Johnny's on the table with his notebook. "You'll just wait until I cave and do them myself."
Dallas grinned. "He knows you too well, Johnny-boy."
Pony punched him on the shoulder, hardly swaying the older boy. Then he hopped off the bed and started for the hall. "Ellie downstairs?"
"Mhm..." Dallas nodded, lighting another cigarette. When Pony was gone he passed the smoke to Johnny.
He shot him a small, grateful smile, pinching the skinny white stick between his thumb and index as he took a deep drag.
"You 'ought to not be slacking on your homework." Dallas commented, leaning back against one of the bed posts. "Or else you'll be playing catch-up like last time."
Johnny passed the cigarette back. "I can't even believe there's a second time. When I left my parents house I was so sure I wasn't ever going to end up in bed again, lickin' my wounds."
Dally wished he could tell Johnny that it was just life- that everyone got beat up a lot, especially on the east-side. But it wasn't really true. Johnny had been beaten to near death twice in less than a year. Dallas was always looking for a good fight, always pissing people off, and what's the worst that had happened to him lately? A graze from a blade on his chest? A broken nose? Johnny was bad luck.
"I keep tellin' you." Dallas said lazily, "Ya' need to beef up. Who are you gonna fight all scrawny like you are? A girl?"
He got a hard kick in the shin for that. For good measure, Johnny tossed a pillow at his head. "Shut up. I could take you on, you bastard. Heard Paul Reed got you pretty good last week. Maybe I 'ought to finish the job for him."
Dallas sat straighter, irritation biting at his nerves. "Paul Reed? What a load of shit! I haven't seen that punk in a month and he thinks he can spread rumors about me? I'm going to beat him dead!"
Johnny cracked a bright grin at Dally's growing anger. Judging from the exhaustion that decorated his face only moment before, it was his first smile in a while. Dallas relaxed again, digging into the inside pocket of his jacket. "That reminds me, I got you something."
He handed the younger boy a long switchblade. It was the length of his hand and all midnight black. Johnny weighed it in his hand, then pressed the little lever and watched the blade spring up- that was black as well except for a thin stripe of white at the edge.
"Figured you could do with your own instead of borrowing everyone else's." Dally explained. He knew Johnny would never use it; he'd never fight anyone with the intent to inflict any real damage. But at least it was something- a sliver of a chance against all that bad luck. "You know how to use it right?"
Johnny pointed the tip of the blade at Dallas, but they were too far apart to be of any danger. "Sure, want me to prove it?"
"Save it for the Socs." He chuckled, giving his foot a light-hearted smack as he slid off the bed.
Johnny's smile fell from his face. "Where are you goin'?"
"Relax," Dallas zipped up his jacket. "You're comin' with me. Time to get your lazy ass out of bed and back into the real world."
"Where?" Johnny straightened up, already swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress.
Dallas stuck out his hand when he tried to stand, wincing under the pain of his bruised rib. The first threads of doubt began to creep up on the older boy. He hadn't really been aware of how long his injuries would take to heal.
"Buck's."
"Are we sneaking past Ellie?" Johnny asked, letting go of Dallas as soon as he was on his feet. He hobbled towards his dresser to find a clean shirt and some decent jeans.
"Naw, she's coming."
Johnny made a unconvinced noise at the back of his throat. "She wouldn't let me go into the yard to feed the dogs. What makes you think she'll let me go to a party?"
"Trust me, she'll let you do anything if you start smilin' at her again." Dallas wandered around the room as he waited, examining the few little bits and bobs Johnny had begun to accumulate in his new home. A bottle of hair grease, his own comb, a few comics and books. If he dug a little deeper he'd probably find some playboy magazines hidden in his underwear drawer. "She's dead worried about you."
"She's worried about everyone. That's just Ellie." Johnny slipped on a black t-shirt and took a moment to watch Dallas strolling across the room. "She'd make a good mom."
The blonde offered a noncommittal hum.
"Or a good wife." Johnny supplied, snorting as Dally flipped him the bird. He went back to changing. "I'm just sayin'. You better man up soon and tell her you love her or else someone smarter is gonna do it."
Dallas growled in frustration as he came up to the side of the dresser and leaned against it. "Why the hell does everyone suddenly have an obsession with love? How come no one's harassing her about who she loves? 'Cause I've proposed to her a hundred times now and she keeps sayin' no!"
"That's just because you're bein' an asshole about it." Johnny explained casually, digging around in his top drawer for his belt. "Maybe you 'ought to ask her like a normal person, you know? Take her out to dinner, give her an actual ring-"
"I got a ring." Dallas dug around in the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out a thin little golden band encrusted with three diamonds- two smaller ones flanked by a larger one. "I lifted it from her ages ago. Was gonna pawn it but never found the damn time. I got a little extra cash from the runs I've been doin', so I added two diamonds and figured I'd give it to her." He tossed the ring to Johnny, who just barely caught it. "Broke up with me before I could ask again, though."
Johnny stared down at the ring in his hands, his expression unreadable. Then he rolled his eyes, let out another laugh, and threw it back to Dallas. "You stole her ring and now you want to give it back to her during a marriage proposal? That's so fucked up... that's so Dallas Winston."
"Fuck you." Dallas grumbled, stuffing the ring back in his pocket, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and anger. It was annoying enough that he was proposing. The least his gang could do was lay off with the fucking jokes. "Screw this shit. I give up then. Fuck romance, fuck marriage- fuck this whole thing."
Johnny clapped him on the shoulder, the remnants of mirth still sparkling in his eyes. "Relax, you poor, love-sick son of a bitch. Ya' know how much jewelry that girl has? She ain't going to remember some ring that went missing a year ago. Just ask her."
"Easier said than done." Dallas grumbled.
Ellie clutched desperately to the beer bottles in her hands, five in total. She had just spent twenty minutes with Penny and Evie, trying in vain to convince Buck to make them something sweeter. All they got from their troubles was the middle finger and an armful of lukewarm beers.
"You look a little nervous, Princess." Penny noted, pulling one of the bottles from the crook of her arm.
Evie nudged Penny, nearly pushing her into the back of an unsuspecting Shepard boy. "Leave her you should be worrying about your own love life. A few more years and you'll b treading spinster territory."
Penny shrugged, unconcerned. From her capris pocket she pulled out her set of keys, a bottle opener hanging from the ring. She popped the cap off her drink. "Just because I'm not constantly hanging off a boy's arm doesn't mean..." She let her words taper off, sending the girls a suggestive look over the rim of her beer as she sipped.
Both Ellie and Evie's mouths fell open, but they were too close to the table to question her further. Two-Bit, Steve, and Johnny were against the wall while Dallas and Tim had their backs facing the crowd A deck of cards were spread out in front of them, placed around empty beer bottles and sitting in their hands. But it seems as if the poker game had been abandoned since the girls had left. While Dallas and Tim conspired- their eyes gleaming and their heads bent slightly together so that they could speak in hushed tones- Two-Bit was animatedly telling a story, cupping his chest as if he was groping imaginary breasts while Steve turned red with laughter. Johnny appeared amused as well, though it was more at Two-Bit's wild gestures than his story. When they caught sight of the girls, Two-Bit immediately dropped his hands back to the table and all three gave them their best sheepish expressions. Ellie had to bite her lip from giggling. She was just glad to see Johnny's mood had improved. It was difficult to let him out of the house when he could barely walk, but maybe Dallas had been right for taking him to Buck's. Hopefully all he had needed was a little time away from his problems.
"I'll pay a couple hundred for it all-" Tim was saying, his words falling short as the girls made themselves known. Dallas twisted around in his seat, a cigarette dangling between his teeth as she flashed her an all too cheerful grin. She narrowed her eyes at him playfully as she approached. It was clear he was up to no good, but she didn't want to argue tonight and honestly, she was going to exhaust herself if she kept worrying about every little awful thing he did.
"Your drinks." She offered, making an attempt to put all the bottles on the table without tipping any over.
"None for me?" Tim asked.
"You weren't here when we went to get them." Evie answered tersely, hopping onto her boyfriend's lap. Tim held up his hands in defense, a grin spreading on his face.
"You can share with me." Penny offered, seating herself between her brother and Tim. She nudged her beer towards him. "I don't drink much anyway."
"You couldn't be more different than your brother, then." Tim commented, picking up the beer and taking a sip. When he put the bottle back down his grin was provocative. "But I bet you both like to have fun, don't you, baby?"
Two-Bit snatched the beer from his grip and nearly tossed it back to his younger sister. "Fun? Penny? She's a fucking stick in the mud, Shepard. Why don't you get your own beer and stop mooching off girls, huh?"
"Relax, Two-Bit." Tim leaned back in his chair, "What are you so scared of?"
But his interest in the Matthew siblings was short-lived, and in the next second his burning gaze was on Ellie as she sat down between her best friend and Dallas.
"Heard you got jumped."
Ellie nodded reluctantly. Honestly, that was the last thing she wanted to think about tonight. She felt Dally's arm snake across the back of her chair and somehow it felt reassuring.
"I was just tellin' Johnny," The Shepard leader went on, "We'll back your boys up in the rumble. These little trust-fund bastards have been screwing around in our territory way too often lately and I'm just itching for an excuse to put them back in their place."
"Enough of this shit." Steve must have noticed the discomfort written on Evie's face. Ellie tried to recall why his girlfriend was so irritable when it came to the darker pursuits of their boys had, but she had to admit she didn't know Evie as well as she liked. "Darry said there ain't going to be a rumble, so that's that."
"There's always a rumble." Tim shrugged. "Whether Darry wants one or not. I'm just saying he better start preparing."
"By what?" Came Sylvia's velvet voice as she strutted up to the table. Even over the girl-group pop playing on the jukebox, her heels could be heard clacking against the hardwood. "Getting more muscles? I don't think that's possible for him."
An excited chuckle burst from Two-Bit's mouth, a stark contrast to the rest of the gang's sobering spirits. "And I was just beginning to get bored! Come to stir the pot, Sylvia?"
Her red lips curved into a smirk. "Of course."
"Then hurry up with it." Penny demanded, not angry but annoyed.
"Well, as much as I'd love to stare at your pained, awkward faces," She turned to Dallas, who was adamantly refusing to acknowledge her. "I want to speak to you."
He flicked the ash from his cigarette into one of the empty beer bottles. "Save your breath. Whatever bullshit you've thought up in that demented head of your's isn't going to work on me."
The smile on Sylvia's face fell. "I'm pregnant."
Ellie was going to vomit. Oh God, she struggled not to say the sentiment out loud as she stared frozen at the table top. When she looked up at Dallas he was wearing the same expression she was likely donning- panic. Now she was really going to vomit.
"That'd probably scare me more than him." Tim admitted breezily, sipping on Penny's drink again. Sylvia tipped her head back and let out an elegant laugh.
Two-Bit snorted, and Johnny pinched Ellie's side to ease her nerves. She fidgeted.
"I have to go to the lady's room." Evie announced, staring meaningfully at Ellie as she pried Steve's arms away from her waist.
"I'll come along." Ellie answered, getting up so fast she would have knocked her chair back if Dallas wasn't holding it.
"I wouldn't leave your boyfriend all alone with me, Ellie darling-" Sylvia put her hand on the table to lean against it, "Oh wait! I'm sorry, I forgot you two had broken up. And I was hoping you'd give me a challenge- something fun to play with now that I'm home."
"If you're going to be a bitch, do it somewhere else." Tim told the woman, tilting his head back to look at her. "We're all playing nice tonight, didn't you hear?"
She shrugged. "I guess I didn't get the letter."
"You wouldn't have liked what it said anyway, baby." The grin on Tim's face had somehow morphed into mocking.
Sylvia arched one of her sculpted brows. "How so?"
"Come on." Evie interrupted, tugging on Ellie's arm to get her moving again. They started across the room.
When no one replied to her, Sylvia turned her attention back to Dallas. "See? I knew this would happen. I tried to warn you she'd eventually get sick of you, didn't I? You're just some mistake she'll be too embarrassed to admit when she's married and knocked up by some big-time lawyer."
Dallas had heard enough. He got up and would have smacked into Sylvia if she hadn't reared back. In three long strides he caught up to Ellie and captured her wrist. His jaw was set, his icy eyes burning with determination that dizzied her.
"What-"
"I ain't getting down on one knee." Dallas growled, digging around in his jacket before pulling out a ring. He pressed it into Ellie's palm. "And I ain't the kind of guy that makes stupid romantic gestures, but if you want me to jump up onto the bar right now and ask you in front of everyone, I will."
Ellie rolled the ring up to pinch between her fingers, finding it both unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. It was thin, clean, simple... She had never given much thought to how her perfect engagement ring would look like, but somehow this was it. "...Yes."
Dallas faltered. "Are you fucking kidding? All of east-side Tulsa is here, Els."
"No-" She let out a nervous little laugh, realizing that everyone from the table was still staring at them and very much in hearing range. She couldn't bare to imagine what their faces looked like. "I mean, ask me now. Ask me properly, that's all I want."
Dallas took the ring back, holding it out between them. Even in the dim light it sparkled.
He grinned in that rare, unbridled way. "Will you marry me?"
Ellie slipped the ring into her finger and rose up on her tip-toes to press a sweet kiss to his lips. Out of instinct, Dallas pulled her closer, tasting the giggles that bubbled up her throat. When they pulled away she was flushed and clutching onto him as if she might collapse if he let go, a dizzied smile on her face.
"Cheers to the newly engaged!" Two-Bit screamed at the top of his lungs, standing like a gladiator on top of the teetering table. He brought his beer into the air above his head. "I better be your best man, you poor bastard! Drinks on Winston!"
Dally groaned. "I'm going to kill him."
Ellie leaned up and whispered something in his ear, and suddenly he didn't seem so irritated anymore.
She was still laughing when she pulled Dallas into his bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
"Els-" Dallas started, only to be distracted as she captured his mouth in another kiss. Her hands slipped under his jacket to explore the plains of his chest, roaming upwards to clutch the collar. Her movements were confident, but the slight tremble of her fingers didn't go unnoticed. Dallas gripped her chin and pulled back slightly. "Els, what the hell are you doin'?"
"Right now?" Ellie smiled, "I'm waiting for you to take me to bed."
Dallas tried to search her face for the slightest signs of uncertainty, but she refused to let him find anything. She had made her mind up hours ago, perhaps even longer than that. Tonight wasn't even close to the right time or maybe not even the right person, but she was so sick and tired of that game. Ellie wanted Dallas, and whatever happened afterward was nothing she couldn't deal with when the time came- if the time came.
When he didn't move, Ellie grabbed his hand and lead him to the bed. She had been hoping he'd take control of the situation; it was quickly becoming apparent that she didn't know all the steps to this dance.
"Ellie, we don't have to do this right now." Dallas warned, letting her sit him on the edge of the mattress. He grabbed hold of her hips. "We can go back downstairs. I can get drunk and you can get harassed by the girls."
Ellie shed her cardigan. "I thought you'd be more enthusiastic about this."
"I'm more confused, to be honest." He grumbled, grabbing her wrist before she could unzip her dress. "What the hell happened between this morning and now that's suddenly made you change your mind?"
"I realized something." Ellie slid into his lap, her thighs on either side of him. She ran her fingers through his hair and scratched gently at the base of his neck.
A frown tugged at Dally's mouth and she yearned to erase it. Why was he hesitating? She wanted this. She wanted him to toss her back against the mattress and just... so what was stopping him?
"Realized what?" He pressed.
The smile on her face waned ever so slightly. "I don't think you want to know."
"Ellie." Dallas sat up straight and pried her hands away. Now he was seriously worried. "What? What the fuck happened?"
"Nothing!" She laughed again, as if his reaction was absurd. "It isn't bad, but I know if I tell you, you're going to freak out and-"
"You're not convincing me." Dallas growled, and for a second she was scared he was going to stand up.
Ellie leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, soft and imploring. It was short, but just as she pulled away she was back again, and with each kiss she could feel his resolve soften. When she tried to pull away again, Dallas released her hands and caught the back of her head, deepening the kiss instead. Ellie let out a satisfied sigh as his tongue ran across her bottom lip, her warm breath fanning across his skin.
"I won't be gentle." Dallas warned as he traveled downwards to her jaw, his tongue dipping over the sensitive hickeys that he often branded her with. He cupped her breast through the layers of fabric that still restricted them, kneading rough enough to coax a moan from Ellie's lips.
She arched against his hand, exposing her neck further. "I- I wasn't expecting you to be."
Dallas seared a trail down Ellie's throat and across her collarbone, her pulse thundering against his lips. Her hands went to his hair, scratching his scalp and tugging impatiently at the tufts of blonde by his ears every time he bit down against her skin. Dallas moved back up to catch her parted mouth, rolling and flicking their tongues together as she gripped the collar of his jacket and tugged the leather off his shoulders.
"Off." Ellie begged when they pulled away for breath. He chuckled at her expression when the thick fabric resisted along his arms, her brows knitted and her lip popped in that pout she knew he hated to love. Her blush reddened further when she noticed him staring. "Shut up. Get it off."
Dallas shed his jacket and Ellie made quick work of removing his t-shirt as well. She was silent for a moment, tracing the varied scars written along his chest, the fresh bruises, the tattoo she had drawn out herself. Without warning, she bent down and pressed a warm kiss against the switchblade.
He pushed a stay lock of hair from her face when she straightened. "Els... It's going to hurt."
"I know." She admitted, and another small smile graced her lips. "I'll be okay, Dally. I want this... really."
She reached to the side and unzipped her dress, moving to take it off before he stopped her.
"Let me do it." Dallas murmured. He started at her thighs, running his wide, warm hands up along the lengths of her skin. Ellie let out a breathy giggle when he paused to squeeze the plentiful flesh of her rear, fingering the hem of her panties teasingly before he gripped the fabric of her skirt and tugged the dress over her head. Feeling slightly over-exposed, Ellie brought her arms forward to cover herself. She eyed the covers of Dally's bed hopefully, wondering how she could maneuver them underneath.
"None of that shit." Dallas demanded, prying her arms away. Before she could protest he had her bra unhooked, and soon after it joined their growing pile of clothing.
"Dally." Ellie whined, wiggling nervously on his lap as he held her arms out of the way. The hunger in his gaze ignited the flame in her already heating belly, causing a spattering of goose-bumps along her body.
"Jesus Christ." Dallas swallowed thickly, an intoxicated grin on his face as he cupped her breasts with both hands. He brought his feet up against the bed frame that sat a few inches lower than the mattress, sliding Ellie closer and trapping her there with the front of his thighs. She let out a gasp and gripped his shoulders tight, overwhelmed by both the feeling of his hands on her and the bulge in his jeans now pressed against her core.
Dallas kissed her briefly, Ellie's hands tangled into his hair once more. She pushed up onto her knees as he traveled down to the valley between her breasts, his lips brushing along her soft slopes. She swore she could have become undone right then.
"Dally." She called out, begging- for him to stop, for him to never stop, she had no idea what she wanted, but she wanted it badly.
He snarled at the sound of his name, his breath hitting the wetness on her breasts and rewarding Ellie with another glorious jolt of pleasure. Gripping her waist, Dallas twisted them around and tossed her onto the mattress. A second later he was on top, kicking her thighs open with his knee. Gripping his hair, Ellie submitted to another bruising kiss on her swollen lips, fighting back with a quick nip to his tongue.
Dallas covered her in his laughter as he broke away, peeling her panties down her legs. "You're going to regret that."
Ellie was too breathless to form a proper response. All she could do was watch him shuck off his jeans, turning away with embarrassment before she caught him fully exposed.
"You're such a virgin." He snorted, then leaned down and kissed her navel.
Ellie tugged at his hair. "You're supposed to fix that, dumb- ah!"
He had bit down on her inner thigh and nearly had her sobbing at the sweet mixture of pain and pleasure. Soon enough she could comprehend nothing but Dallas, the hard grip on her ass, the rake of his fingers on her breast, and that sublime, wonderful, dazzling...-!
"What the hell made you change your mind?"
Ellie's eyes shot open. Dallas was hovering over again, an arrogant smirk playing across his mouth.
"What?" She nearly screamed. She was so close! She was so damn close! What was he doing?
"What made you change your mind?" Dallas asked again, brushing a thumb against the underside of her breast. "It's got to be something."
"Dallas!" Ellie howled, pounding his chest with her small fists. When her words failed her she began to whine unintelligibly, moaning and sobbing and begging.
Dallas was unaffected. If anything, it served to amuse him further. "Tell me and I'll do it again."
She stilled underneath him, her face burning red. Grinning wider, he dipped a hand down between her hips and pressed ever so softly.
"You bastard!" Ellie moaned, hiding her face in her hands. "I'm in love with you, alright? I love you, Dallas! I love you, I love you, I love you! Are you happy now?"
Dallas snorted, and she could feel him slide back down. "I fuckin' knew it."
In the next moment Ellie was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.
"K-knew it?" She gasped between heaving breaths.
Dallas kissed his way up her stomach and throat. "Figured you would eventually. No girl can resist the ol' Dallas Winston charm."
Ellie rolled her eyes and smiled, caught -once again- between annoyance and humor. She was aware that he had yet to say it back, but that wasn't what she was looking for. The whole reason Ellie had avoided declaring it was so that Dallas wouldn't feel any pressure to respond. She wasn't as naive as she used to be. There were only two responses she had expected from him: either flee, or force himself to admit feelings he likely didn't harbor- may never harbor. But that wasn't the point.
Ellie was in love with Dallas and that was enough.
"Are you ready?" He asked, finally level with her. "Can't go back after this."
Ellie nodded, free of hesitation. Dallas hiked her up by the thighs and pressed a silent apology against her lips as he entered her. Her breath hitched at the unfamiliarity of it, a dull pain blooming in the juncture of her hips.
"God, Els." He growled into her neck, pausing only for a moment before starting again. The act of it was- at best- odd, but still she found comfort in him pressed over top her, groaning against her collarbone, seizing the satisfaction she had denied him so many times. Ellie pulled him closer, locked her legs round his waist, let her hands roam across his back in nonsensical patterns and delighted in the muscles that tensed and shifted under her fingers.
"Don't stop, Dallas." She encouraged, leaning forward to kiss him. He tensed, finishing in sharp, teeth-gritted moan. When he slid off to collapse into the bed, Ellie quickly snuggled into his side and kissed him again on his heaving chest. She didn't want him to pull away from her just yet, and if he got up go to back downstairs to the party she would have begged and pleaded for him to stay. But he didn't make any move to leave. All he did was dig into their pile of clothes to find his cigarette packet and a lighter. Ellie grabbed the edge of the blanket and folded it over them as he lit up.
They laid in silence for a while, Dally running his palm over her side and the small of her back.
"Do you regret it?" He asked eventually, when his smoke was nearly burnt to the filter.
Ellie shook her head, her hair brushing against his naked chest. Her feelings towards Dallas hadn't grown stronger as she thought it would. Instead it had solidified. All her doubts and worried were gone for the moment, tossed aside for one peaceful night where she was sure nothing could tear them apart. Yet that wasn't what occupied her mind. She felt different, laying unabashedly naked in his arms, yet completely the same. Still a girl, but not the one that had come skipping into town from Chicago, chipper and sparkly clean. Now she felt dirtier- no, that wasn't the right word. She felt... real... She felt alive.
EEEEEEEK SEX. LATE CHAPTER. SEX THO. EW.
Enjoy, I guess. I have nothing to say. I'm too embarrassed.
Also please review I need your approval for this horrible dirtiness I've sullied your brains with.