A/N: I apologize for taking so long for me to upload this. I just finished it the day before yesterday and it took me forever to write the scene between Killian and August. I almost scrapped it, but I felt it was important. Thank you everyone for your patience and for still reading this tale.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to Once Upon A Time.
Chapter 34:
6 years ago
Blackness enveloped him. It was holding back the pain and Killian welcomed it. The darkness became his friend and companion of choice over the next week, as he battled against the fever that had taken him after he lost his hand.
August, the annoying git, was there everyday. He insisted Killian come back to the light and the pain, but Killian would've rather died. No one would miss him. Okay, maybe a handful here or there, but it wasn't like there was someone who would be bereft without him in their lives.
Liam was dead. Milah was dead. His naval career was gone. His reason for living was dwindling.
"Let me perish," he begged August, when August once again insisted Killian eat the broth he cooked.
"I can't do that. I'm going to need you. Now eat the damn broth." A warm spoon touched Killian's parched lips.
Reluctantly, he opened his mouth, but not his eyes. The hot liquid scalded his mouth and throat, landing inside his empty stomach with an annoying ache. His stomach rolled in protest despite its need for fortification.
"When you're ready, we need to talk," August told him as he shoved another spoonful of chicken broth past Killian's lips.
"No," Killian protested through cracked lips. "Need to die."
"Dying won't avenge Milah. It won't help you deal with the loss of Liam." Another spoonful. "It will only make my life harder now that David is gone."
"Dave's gone?" Killian sputtered over the broth, swallowing hard and finally opening his eyes. He had to squint as the light from the windows blinded him. His light eyes, susceptible to the harsh light of day, were even worse after the days of darkness.
August chuckled, drawing a glare from Killian. "You're the only person I know who can get away with calling him Dave."
Killian tried to sit up, but fell back again. His eyes fell to the arm that was missing the very hand that he tried to push himself up with. "It's really gone."
"How do you feel?" August asked as he set the half empty bowl down on the nightstand and rose slightly off the edge of the bed to help Killian into an upright position.
"Like I feel into Davy Jones' locker, was tortured, spit out and submitted to the hounds of hell for their enjoyment." Killian cradled his left arm. In his mind he was fisting his left hand, but his eyes could plainly see that the appendage was no longer with his body.
"We probably have to call Whale to up your pain medication now that you are conscious."
Killian realized August referred to the newest doctor at the hospital inside Storybrooke. "Where are we?"
August glanced around the room, then back at Killian. "Storybrooke. What do you think? Pretty nice, huh?"
Killian perused the room. A large group of windows lined one wall, letting the sun's light shine through, the other walls were bare and the furniture was sparse. There was only the bed he rested in, the nightstand and a couple of chairs near the windows. "Not exactly a five star hotel, but it's adequate."
"Well, it's yours until you recover. It is actually the attic above the cannery. I wanted to bring you down into the tunnels, but it isn't quite finished. When it is, and if you are able to get around, we'll transfer you down there. In the meantime, this will have to do."
August rose off the edge of the bed and nodded to the soup bowl. "You should eat that while it's warm. It won't help otherwise."
Killian stared down at the bowl. He hand one hand, how did August think this was going to work?
"I don't think you're going to find the answers you want that the bottom of that bowl," August joked.
"Then where?" Killian questioned as he raised his head to look at his friend.
"In your heart," August told him sincerely, as he shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "I am hoping… That's my problem. Hoping. Hoping that things can still work out. But, maybe, some things you just don't come back from."
With that August turned and left. As far as pep talks went that one bloody sucked. However, this was August. Not exactly the peppiest person he ever knew.
Killian swung his legs off the bed, cringing as the blood rushed through his under used limbs. He stooped his head over the bowl welcoming the warmth from the steam. He reached out to cup his hands over the bowl, except one was missing. Killian glared at the space that should have been occupied by and palm and fingers.
He had never been a vengeful man. Even when he could have mutinied after Liam's death, he kept a cool head. But now, it ate at him. He could feel the blackness invade his soul as he pictured bringing Mr. Gold to his knees before him. Never once had Killian wished death on anyone, but he could taste the bloodlust on his tongue. A thirst that could only be quenched by the death of the man who took his hand and his first love. A smile ticked over his face, as he imagined sinking the very steel that violated him into Gold's chest.
Killian reached for the spoon. He had a purpose. A goal. Now he had to adjust to his new body so that he could accomplish the mission his heart settled upon. But first, he needed to regain his strength.
Mary-Margaret stared through the glass windows at the bandaged and swollen man laying in a solitary bed in the hospital. Monitors beeping and chiming all around him, which allowed her to know he still lived and breathed. Regina had brought her in last week to ask her if she recognized him. She had not. It was only after Dr. Whale had convinced Mary-Margaret to volunteer that she discovered that it was David Nolan lying there, still as death.
This was only her third day of volunteer work and yet she had not seen David's wife once come to visit him. Mary-Margaret, on the other hand, brought him a new flower every day. And, so as not to seem like she was showing favoritism, she brought flowers for the other patients as well.
Regina appeared and Mary-Margaret cringed, turning her longing gaze away from David. The less time she spent with her stepmother the better. If it hadn't been for her, Mary-Margaret's father would still be alive. Mary-Margaret couldn't believe it had been five years since their marriage and their adoption of Henry, just a scant week after their nuptials. And now currently just eight weeks since her father's passing.
An accident, Regina claimed. She and Sidney Glass had insisted that Mary-Margaret's father meet them in the woods to discuss town expansion. It was there, during that meeting, a very rare snake had bitten her father. It's venom killing him before they could even get him medical help.
Mary-Margaret swiped the tears from her eyes and turned to face her stepmother. "Regina, what are you doing here?"
"Henry is down the hall for his annual checkup. How is our patient today?" Regina waved a regal hand in the direction of David's room.
"Okay, as far as I can tell, but I'm not a doctor." Mary-Margaret couldn't help the sarcasm that laced her tone. "Why do you care?"
"As the newly elected mayor of this town, I feel it is my duty to ensure all of our citizens are taken care of, especially ones that I found on the side of the road."
Mary-Margaret huffed. Regina convinced the town to elect her after Leopold died, insisting she helped him enough that the transition would appear non-existent. And, yes, she wasn't wrong, but Mary-Margaret hated the fact that Regina so easily replaced her father.
The only bright spot to Regina and Leopold's union was Henry. The five year old could brighten anyone up. His belief of good prevailing over evil was more enlightening than any fairy tale. And fairy tales were his stories of choice. His current obsession was the Swan Princess and Peter Pan. His last birthday, just a week before Leopold's death, he had been given a replica of a pirate ship. He had a Barbie and Ken doll secreted amongst his toys that he had asked Mary-Margaret and Ruby to buy him for his last birthday. Last time she had gone to visit she had been shocked to realize that Ken was minus a hand. Henry insured Mary-Margaret that it was okay, Captain Hook only had one. She had watched him play, as the Barbie, also known as the Swan Princess, had danced with the one-handed Ken, also known as Hook, aboard the large pirate ship. Only the imagination of a five year old would pair the two together and claim that it was True Love.
"Mary-Margaret!"
She looked down as she was enveloped in a leg hug. Henry's mop of brown hair flopped over his face as he have her a grin. Mary-Margaret smoothed back the errant locks and kissed the top of his head. "Missed you."
"I wish you would come by more. I miss you, too."
Mary-Margaret looked over his head at a frowning Regina. "Sorry, Henry. I can't right now. But, I promise when you start coming to the elementary school in a few months, we'll see more of each other."
"Promise?" His expression was so hopeful, Mary-Margaret felt the urge to cry.
She crouched down and hugged him. "I promise."
He smiled and waved at her when she let go before approaching Regina. Who handed him a set of keys. "Go wait for me in the lobby."
They both watched him leave before Regina walked up to her. "I would appreciate it if you left my son alone."
"He's my brother."
"Not anymore. I legally changed both our names back to Mills. As far as I am concerned, he is no family of yours." Regina's disdainful voice grated on Mary-Margaret's nerves, but not as much as her words.
"That's just cruel. How can you rip another family member from that child? Are you really that heartless?"
Regina glared at her, an evil smile blossoming on her face. "I think you mistake me for my mother. Excuse me, I need to take my son home and get him dinner."
Mary-Margaret watched her leave. Chills raced down her spine. She clenched her arms around herself in a hug. Mary-Margaret needed to get out of there. What she really needed was a strong drink.
With that in mind, Mary-Margaret found herself sitting at the bar in Granny's with a glass of scotch in front of her. She wasn't much of a drinker, but after seeing David, remembering her father, and her run-in with Regina, even the strong libation in front of her seemed insufficient.
Dr. Whale dropped into the seat next to her. "Looks like you've had a rough day."
Mary-Margaret scoffed and finished her drink. "Yes. You could say that."
They sat in companionable silence until Mary-Margaret had to ask, "You ever deal with someone and just know what you want to happen, but the opposite does? Then you question yourself thinking maybe it's you who caused what happened to happen, but deep down you just know it was them. Then you just go with it because that's just who you are."
"No," he replied with a smile as he turned toward her.
"How do you do that?" she questioned honestly.
"By never doing what is expected. Keeps life interesting and other people guessing."
"Hmm," Mary-Margaret muttered actually considering what he said.
Granny approached and he asked, "Can I buy you a drink?"
Mary-Margaret handed her empty glass to Granny and smiled at Whale. "You can buy me two."
Groaning, she arose from the strange bed. She spotted her jeans across the room and slipped them on. Gathering her other clothes, she slipped into them, stuffed her underwear in her pocket, carried her shoes and tiptoed out of the apartment.
Emma made sure she had her keys and phone before she closed the door behind her. Another drunken one-night stand. Uh! She kept promising herself that she wouldn't do it again, but it seemed that she couldn't help herself.
At least, as far as she remembered, last night had been pretty amazing, unlike a lot of nights she longed to forget. She needed to pick herself out of this rut that she had fallen into. However, these one-night stands did ensure one thing, no attachments.
She scrubbed her hands through her tangled hair as the elevator took her to the bottom floor. She needed to get home and get a couple more hours of rest. Morning would come much too soon.
Seeing the yellow Bug, she approached , patting the hood before unlocking the door. After sliding into the driver's seat and starting the car, Emma fingered the swan necklace encircling her neck. One day, she promised herself, she'd be able to let it all go. However, today was not that day.