Chapter 33: Damons' Distraction
Calvin began to shudder in rage at the queen, even more so when Koneko dissolved into a sparkling blue mist.
"Lady Rias' rook, retires," said Grayfia overhead. In his rage, Calvin charged up a red missle of electricity, and threw it at the queen, with a speed she didn't expect, and took the shot straight to the chest. She flew back as Calvin sprouted his wings and soared after her. He began to throw almost every electrical attack he knew of at Yubelluna, while Rias tried to contact him through his earpiece.
"Koneko is not dead Calvin!" She tried to tell him, yet he didn't listen, and instead he sent Yubelluna crashing to the ground, landing gracefully in front of her, removed his ear piece, dropped it on the ground, and stepped on with a sharp crack.
"You know, a thought occurred to me when I saw Koneko hit with that explosion. 'What if that had been Katrina? What if I couldn't save her, like I couldn't save Koneko?' Well guess what?" He charged up his electricity some more, "I'm going to beat your ass like I HAD failed Katrina." He approached the rising Yubelluna, only for a yellow lightning bolt to hit the ground between them, and Akeno landed gracefuly on her feet, licking her finger tips with a blush.
"My my! I lost my v-card in a threesome last night, and now it looks like I get to have another!" She said, clearly getting off on the violence.
"I hope you aren't planning on stopping me from fighting Risers' queen," said Calvin humorlessly.
"Actually," began Akeno, not losing her blush, "Adrian asked me to join you, because he had a feeling you wouldn't back down from her." Calvin nodded, and turned back to Issei,
"You run along Issei, we got this." Issei nods towards them, and runs to the athletic field as Calvin and Akeno charge up their lightning.
Issei had no sooner escaped Calvins and Akenos line of sight when Grayfia spoke overhead again,
"Three of Lord Risers' pawns, retire."
"Kiba and Katrina must be having an awfully good time," Issei said to himself. He was then grabbed by the arms and thrown into the athletic club storage closet by a pair of familiar faces.
"Huh, speak of the devils!" Issei said quietly.
"Where's Calvin?" Asked Katrina, showing concern for her conduit boyfriend.
"He was going to fight Risers' queen, and Akeno is with him."
"So long as Akeno is with him, he will be fine," said Adrian through their ear pieces. Katrina nodded her head, reassured, and Rias spoke through the ear pieces.
"Kiba, Katrina, Issei, do you all read me?"
"Loud and clear," they said in unison.
"Me and Asia are going to launch a sneak attack on Risers' base. Are you three ready to get the attention of Phoenix House?" They gave their affirmatives right as Adrian spoke again,
"If you can get Riser on the roof that would actually help me and my team a bit."
"YOUR team?!" Cried Damon through the ear pieces, clearly not liking to be a follower.
"Yes MY team, because I was leading the way, and it's my plan. Problem?" Damon grumbled on his end, and Adrian continued.
"Katrina, Kiba, and Issei, go ahead and get the Phoenix Houses' attention. Once they all see you and are out on the athletic field..." Adrian sighed deeply, "Damon can create the distraction." Damon whooped in the ear piece at this, "And finally when that nonsense is over, me and Wesker will bring the surprise."
A few minutes later...
Katrina and her two devil companions made their way to center field, and instantly all of the remaining Phoenix House was upon them, led by a literal knight.
"I am Karlamine, a knight in the service of Lord Riser. To be honest, you three coming out into the open, practically begging for a fight, makes ne question your sanity a bit." She then drew her sword, the blade engulfing itself in flames. Kiba stepped forward, readying his own sword.
"I am Yuuto Kiba, a knight in the service of Lady Rias Gremory..." he then drew out his sword before shouting, "I've been looking corward to fighting another knight! Can't wait to get started!"
"En guarde, Knight of Gremory!" Both of them vanished in the blink of an eye, with only the flames of Karlamines' sword being visible as they both fought around the track field. Katrina then smirked at where Kiba was last,
Maybe I should ask Calvin if Kiba could join us for a night, she thought with a blush. She made this thought brief as she refocused on the rest of the Phoenix House. Since me and Kiba took out three pawns in the forest, and Akeno took out three pawns and a rook at the gymnasium, that leaves Riser, the king, his queen, his other rook, his two remaining pawns, and his bishops and knights...nothing that can't be handled. She readied her blades as the girl in the dress, who she recognized as Risers' sister, made her approach. "Lady Phoenix," said Katrina, "Should I be under the impression that I will be fighting you first?" The pink dressed girl laughed,
"Keep those things to yourself, I have no intention of fighting today. And for the record, it's RAVEL Phoenix." Katrina popped her neck,
"I suppose you're right, calling you a lady would be an insult to females." Ravels' face grew red as several veins popped, but was soon comforted as a girl with a quarter mask, covering the top right of her face, made the approach,
"I am Isabela, rook to Lord Riser, and you will respect his family!"
"Got to give it in order to get it, Isabela," said Katrina. She put away her blades, and retrieved a pair of red metal gauntlets off her belt.
"What are those?" Asked Issei.
"The gauntlets of Sektor. Don't ask," she said, placing them on her own hands, ready to fight. Before anyone else could make a move, a massive magic circle appeared before them, about a story or two above their heads, and bright red. Must be Damons' distraction, Katrina thought to herself. Then, atop the red rune, appeared a super sized Damon hologram, standing at least twenty feet tall, and dressed in his usual muscle shirt and boots, but now wore a green kilt, and his coat was gone.
"Ass Guard! Atten-tion!" He shouted, and several more Damons, about a head shorter than the first, appeared behind him in five rows of ten. "Ass Guard, forward march!" The Damon holograms then marched in place for a second or two, and the lead Damon began to sing, with the other Damons following along.
"I don't know, what I've been to-old!"
"I don't know what I've been to-old!"
"Risers' cock is growing mold!"
"Risers' cock is growing mold!"
"Heeeere we go ag-ain!"
"Heeeere we go ag-ain!"
"He knocked up his sis with gin!"
"He knocked up his sis with gin!"
"Ass Guard! Halt!" The Damon holograms stopped, with the entire battlefield both shocked and appalled, "About! Face!" All the holograms turned around, facing away from the principles office. "Present! Moons!" All Damons then bent over, flipped up their kilts, and flashed their bare buttocks to where they assummed Riser would be, laughing uproarously. The Phoenix House gasped, either placing hands over their mouths or blushing, while Katrina brought a palm to her face, Kiba squeezed his eyes shut, and Issei made a gagging noise.
He's not even wearing underwear! He mentally cried.
"He does realize the entire underworld, including the devil king, Rias' brother, is watching this, right?" Asked Kiba, visibly sweating.
"I'm sure he does, and is probably laughing twice as hard over it," said Katrina, not even looking up.
Meanwhile, while Calvin and Akeno were fighting Yubelluna, they all saw the holographic Damon army, some of which were now slapping their rears and wolf whistling each other.
"That dumb shit!" Called Calvin, shaking his head, while Akeno simply giggled to herself.
Back at the athletic field, Rias and Asia just barely managed to slip inside the school house when Ravel snapped,
"This stupid crap ends here!" She shouted. Although he does have a cute butt, she thought with a blush. Her thought was quickly forgotten when the lead Damon released a long and LOUD flatulence, turning Ravels' blush into a blue faced grimace. The lead Damon then straightend up, flipped his kilt down, and turned to the principles office,
"I have a message for a Riser Penis! Do we have a Riser Penis on the battlefield?" He paused, not recieving an answer, "Well then I guess I will have to talk to the Jamie Lannister reject, hiding out in the principles office like the naughty bitch that he is!" Still recieving no answer, he continued, "It comes from a guy who is almost as handsome as me named Adrian Michaels, and it goes like this..." he then brought out a megaphone from out of nowhere, "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE BIG BIRD!" He then lifted his kilt, flashing the principles office his genitals, and blared his megaphones siren straight up, and all the Damons vanished. The intercom system then began to play a familiar tune, and an odd magic barrier appeared around the athletic field, shocking everyone inside.
"What's going on?!" Demanded Ravel.
"You're trapped inside a one way barrier..." all eyes turned to see the real Damon approaching the outside of the field, "...meaning people can join in..." he stepped through the barrier, entering the field, "...but no one pulls out." He casted a wink towards his invisible wall, and turned back to both his friends and enemies. The Phoenix House members glared at the former devil hunter as the music began to speed up, and they all charged at him as he took a knee, and through the barrier barreled Adrian, speeding on his motorcycle and ramping off Damons back, and once he was off, Damon back flipped into the air as something big black and metal also sped through the barrier, landing on the roof, and Ravel Phoenixs' jaw dropped,
"Is that...a frigging TANK?!!"