CHAPTER 36
"You had better stop sleeping in my bed," Severus informed Harry stiffly and coldly one evening. Harry tried to mask the hurt he felt; it was more the tone and the manner than the actual words which stung him.
"Why, Sev?" he asked calmly.
"There is not enough place in my bed for you," the Potions Master said curtly, not looking at Harry.
"Do you mean that literally or figuratively? Why do I have the feeling that it's the latter?" Harry said.
"Because I want it that way."
"Then why are you not looking me in the eye?"
Severus turned and fixated him with his black eyes.
"I don't want you in my bed anymore, and that's all you need to know," he said with a sneer Harry had not seen for a long time.
"You are talking to me like you used to before Christmas," Harry snapped, his temper rising, "and I want to know the reason."
"It is not healthy for a young boy of your age to share a bed with someone who is old enough to be your father."
"That's the lamest excuse I have ever heard," Harry said flatly, his cheeks becoming flushed with anger, "and lying at this stage of our relationship is really not to my taste, Severus. I don't need to be a Legilimens to know that you're trying to hide something from me."
"You are a mere boy. I am many years your senior. I cannot expect you to understand my wish."
Harry exploded.
"I am not a 'mere boy', and you are talking to me as if I were someone of limited intelligence!" he said glacially, suppressing the urge to shout.
"Fine, Harry Potter. Do you want to share a bed with someone who has to rape you in visions created for the Dark Lo – for Voldemort's pleasure?"
"I am sick of discussing the same old issue with you!" Harry shouted. The temperature around them seemed to become warmer with simmering magic.
Harry approached Severus, his face nearly touching the Potions Master's.
"Tell me, and talk to me like to the adult I am," he hissed.
"You are a source of…" Severus paused, hesitating, then continued: "a source of distraction in my bed. Tell me, Harry. Do you want me touching you all over? My hands on your skin? My disgusting presence literally inside you?"
"What are you trying to tell me?" Harry asked impatiently, breathing hard. "What's this shit with 'disgusting presence'?"
"I am a sexual being, in case you haven't noticed, my dear Potter," Severus spat.
"So am I, my dear Snape. Are we having this ridiculous argument because you want to touch me more intimately? Because you think I'll feel revolted by your touch when we're both in your bed?"
Severus was silent. Harry gave him a rigid stare of contempt.
"So this is how much you trust me."
"You are too young, you are naturally eager to explore your sexuality in spite of your first unpleasant experience, you think that-"
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD THINK!" Harry stormed. "YOU'VE WRITTEN A COMPLETE SCRIPT WHERE MY THOUGHTS ARE CONCERNED! LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO THINK WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO THINK!"
"Harry, I-"
"YOU HAVE SUCH A POOR OPINION OF YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE BOUND TO HAVE AN EVEN WORSE OPINION OF ME, OF COURSE!" Harry continued shouting. Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Harry was faster:
"FINE! I WON'T CONTAMINATE YOUR BED ANYMORE…because…" here he lowered his voice, "I am obviously corrupting you, am I not?"
"You have no idea what it is like to invent obscene images about you and me, about me hurting you!" Severus snarled.
"Those are FAKE MEMORIES! When will you get REAL for once?" Harry bellowed.
"I…Look…" Severus actually moistened his lips, and his eyes were glittering feverishly. "Yes, you are not a boy. You are a man. And when you lie next to me in my bed, when I feel you pressed against me – like this-" he gently pulled Harry against his body, "then you have no idea how I long to…kiss and taste you all over!"
Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's waist.
"In other words…you want to become more intimate with me."
Severus reddened as if with shame.
Harry began to laugh; his anger evaporated.
"And you chucked me out of bed because of that? Because you were so convinced that I would think you're a pervert or something? Severus Snape, you can be such a moron at times! You've got learn to talk to me about all this."
"I…Well…" Severus sounded suspiciously like a little boy.
"We are lovers. I've been longing for you in the same way for quite some time."
"Why didn't you make the first move, brave Gryffindor?" Severus asked sarcastically.
"I was planning to, but I couldn't think of a way which was subtle enough. You're so fond of subtlety, and I wasn't sure how to, you know, make my move."
"To hell with subtlety," Severus said in the most un-Slytherin manner, kissing Harry on the mouth. Harry returned the kiss and drew back a little to look at Severus's face.
"I'm sorry," Severus murmured.
"You had better be," Harry said strictly, amused at the turn their fierce argument had taken. He had certainly not expected it to end in a kiss.
"It has become second nature to me to doubt, to not trust so willingly," Severus added.
"Kindly exclude me from your second nature," Harry quipped.
"I will," Severus reassured him. Harry boldly moved his hand lower, touching the curve of Severus's behind fleetingly. Severus responded by kissing him again and shifting the collar of Harry's t-shirt to reveal more of his neck. His lips brushed the peach-soft area, and Harry's mouth opened in a moan. He stretched his neck to give Severus's mouth more skin to kiss. Severus felt Harry lean into him, and he became aware of Harry's hard arousal. He also became aware of the gentle rubbing motions Harry's hips were making against his own hips. He understood that Harry wanted him to know how much he, Severus, was arousing him.
Not one of the men with whom he had shared meaningless intimacy had ever shown such desire for him. He watched Harry's face with a feeling verging on incredulity: the flushed cheeks, the half-closed eyes, the fast breathing escaping his lips…Those lips…Severus kissed them and Harry responded heatedly. Then it was time for Harry to leave for his lessons with Moody and McGonagall.
"Come to my bed tonight," Severus whispered into Harry's ear.
"I will," Harry replied.
When Harry slipped into his room that night, Severus was lying in bed expecting him. The book he had been reading before Harry joined him was lying abandoned on the bedside table; and for the very first time, he drew back the bed sheets as his young husband approached the bed. Usually, Severus would be reading when Harry came to his bed and would only spare him a quick glance when he slid underneath the sheets. This time, his full attention was on Harry. A quick "Nox!", and they were lying in warm darkness. The dark made every kiss and caress even more intense and unexpected. After a while, Severus felt Harry's slight form move panther-like on top of him. A bold hand touched his inner thigh, and Severus inhaled sharply.
"Harry," he whispered.
"Am I going too fast?" Harry asked softly.
"Merlin, no! Don't stop!"
Fingers brushed his hard sex. Severus's hips tingled and quivered. He reached down and covered Harry's exploring hand with his.
"Please show me," he told Harry. Harry's hand moved underneath his, and his own palm and fingers followed its movements. Severus started to writhe and pant as his control vanished; he could feel Harry's warm breath against his neck and those agile fingers teasing him through his pyjama trousers and underwear. A little later, he came in Harry's embrace with a stifled cry of pleasure. They lay together silently; then Harry breathed to him:
"Next time you're going to share my bed, Sev."
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