I know some people didn't like the fact that Olivia left Elliot like she did, I hope this chapter explains slightly why she did
Chapter 36
"Hey Olivia! Wait "" shouted Fin running out after her. "What was all that about?" he asked grabbing her arm.
"Let me fucking go Fin!"
"No!" he said "You have just let Elliot alone when he needs you, what the fuck is your problem?"
"My problem is I can't be near him right now" she said walking towards the car.
"Fuckin Unbelievable" he said following her "The man you claim to love has just been attacked handcuffed to a bed and raped and you storm off in a little jealous hissy fit" he put his arm out to stop her opening the car. "Liv he needs you"
Olivia stood shaking at the car "Let me go Fin, Just leave me alone" she said pulling his arm out the way and climbing in the car. Fin stopped her closing the door and bent over to talk to her.
"Think about this Liv. If Elliot had been the one to find you in Seal View would he have just walked away from you when you needed him most? No he would have stuck by you"
"I can't….. I can't be there right now. Just leave me the fuck alone" she shouted slamming the car door and screeching away.
Elliot watched Olivia storm out the room "Liv!" he shouted but she ignored him. Fin looked at Elliot and ran out after her. Elliot stepped back against the wall and slid down it shaking. How could she just walk out leaving him?
"Elliot" said Cragen his voice low and soft "Elliot come on we need to get you to the hospital"
Elliot shook his head "I'm not going anywhere" he mumbled wiping the tears away.
"We need to get you checked out and a rape kit done" Cragen said crouching down in front of Elliot.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? You know why we need as much evidence as we can against her. She raped you Son we need to collect samples from you"
"What's the point my own Girlfriend doesn't think I was raped, she thinks I just fucked her, so why the hell would a jury side with me….forget it I'm not going" he pulled the blanket further round him Cragen could see him shaking.
"Elliot she upset…"
"And I'm not!" he screamed at Cragen. O'Halloran came into the room and looked round his eyes stopping on Elliot and Cragen.
"Erm Cap I need to process the room" he said not quite knowing what to do.
"Yeah carryon" said Cragen. "Come on Elliot let's get out of here while CSU do their job. Elliot shook his head.
"I aint going anywhere…..just leave me alone" he said dropping his head on to knees. Cragen looked over at O'Halloran.
"Get to work" he told him "work around him" he said nodding his head over towards Elliot. The young CSU nodded and go to work. Fin came back in and shook his head to Cragen letting him know Olivia had gone.
"Stay just outside the room, he is refusing to go to hospital or do a rape kit. What the hell is Olivia playing out?"
"I don't know Cap, I guess it's too much and she is too close"
"I don't care how she feels. Elliot is a victim, she wouldn't of acted like this if it had been Alex or Melinda she knows victims of male rape cannot control what happens" Cragen turned back to Elliot "He needed her and she walked out on him, where the hell has she gone?"
"I don't know, I swear"
"Cap, Detective I've e found another video camera" he said "not really hidden just on top of cupboard it's still recording. It's a little handheld the tape is still in"
"Get it back to the station I want to see what's on it, nobody, I repeat nobody else sees it but me"
O'Halloran nodded. He had a word with another CSU and left the room for the station.
"Okay…Okay I'm coming" Haung opened the door "Olivia what's happened"
"I…. I couldn't be there for him, he needed me and I ran" she sobbed. Haung guided her into his house and sat her down grabbing water out the fridge.
"What's happened Olivia?"
"She raped him, the bitch raped him and I accused him of wanting it" her hands were shaking as she lifted the bottle to her lips. "I took one look at his erection and ….. I just got jealous, how the fuck could I be jealous, I heard him begging her to stop" she dropped her head into her hands. "How could I ever think that?"
"Liv are we talking about Elliot's"
Olivia looked up at him suddenly realising he didn't know what had happened at all.
"Yeah, he was raped by his ex-partner Dani Beck. She had him tied him to his bed and fucked him….raped him, I put a gun to her head to stop her, and then I walked away when he asked for help. I even accused him of being turned on."
"Liv you were in shock"
"So that makes it okay to tell a victim they asked for it and wanted it. I would never do that to a victim I didn't know, it shouldn't matter I was in shock"
"Olivia you and Elliot are so close, you knew Him and Dani had a small thing going on, you argued over her at the cabin. You just walked in and seen the one thing you always dreaded seeing. You know Elliot didn't want it he was forced, but all you seen in your head was the two of them having sex"
"But they weren't having sex"" she shouted standing up and pacing "She was raping him, I actually got jealous and he was being raped, what the fuck is wrong with me"
"Olivia nothing is wrong with you" he said standing up and stopping her from pacing. "You are a good person and I know you love Elliot, seeing him like you did brought out all your fears"
"No I'm not a good person, I hate myself. I seen the way everyone looked at me when I walked out on El"
"Olivia stop, you are a good person, you care, sometimes too much don't you ever doubt the good that is in you" Haung wiped away her tears. "What you saw in that room, what you saw happening to Elliot scared you. You're scared that you may lose him to someone else, all you seen where your worst fears, in your eyes you seen Elliot having sex with someone else. Even though you knew what was happening was wrong"
"God what have I done" she cried "how could I walk away and leave him like that"
"Go to him now Liv, go and help him, he needs you as much as he needs you"
Olivia hugged Huang "Thank you George" she said running out the door.
Olivia ran into the squad room and looked around frantically "Munch!" she panted "where's Elliot?"
"Erm, Liv …he. You best talk to Cragen" he said nodding to the Captains door. Olivia ran over and banged on the door, not waiting for an answer she walked straight in. Cragen was sat at his desk; he reached over and clicked a button on the computer before turning and looking at her. Straight away Olivia seen his cut lip and bruised cheek.
"What happened to you…wheres Elliot?"
"Well Elliot done this as he threw everyone out his place. I tried to get him to leave and go to hospital but he was having none of it, he refused to leave."
"Don I'm so sor…."
"Stop Olivia, I don't want to hear it" he said standing up. "What you done tonight was bang out of order"
"I … I know…."
"You know, well that's great. That man is hurting. He was tied to a bed and raped. The one person who should have stood by him turned her back and walked away from him. A woman, who has worked with rape victims male and female over the last 13 years, accused a victim of enjoying it. I don't want to hear you're sorry….I DON'T WANT TO FUCKIN HEAR IT!" he shouted.
Olivia stood tears falling from her eyes, she didn't even try to wipe them away "I was scared" she said quietly.
"You were scared how do you think Elliot felt?"
"Please don't" she begged him "I know I was wrong, don't you think I hate myself for what I done, I love him so much and I let him down"
"You not only let Elliot down you let yourself down Detective" Cragen sat back down in his chair. Olivia sat down in the chair opposite her boss.
"Please don't hate me….I couldn't bear for you to hate me for this. I hate myself enough. "
"I don't hate you Olivia" he told her his voice softer. "You must know he never wanted what happened"
"I do, I know I shouldn't have reacted like I did. I've spoken to Huang, but now I need to see El, where is he?"
"He is still at his place, he refused to leave. He won't have a rape kit done or go to the hospital. He doesn't see the point if you don't believe him then why would a jury in court"
"But I do believe him"
"Then you need to tell him" Cragen told her. Olivia stood up and went to leave "Olivia" she turned back to face him. "If you ever treat another rape victim like that again I will have your badge"
Olivia stood outside Elliot's front door and took her key out her hand shook as she put the key in and turned opening the door. The apartment was in darkness. Olivia walked quietly through and headed for the bedroom. The door was closed but she could see a light shining under it. She slowly opened the door.
"El" she said walking in and looking around. Elliot was sat under the window a bottle of Whisky next to him on one side and his service revolver on the other. He looked up at her his eyes red from crying, he was wearing shorts and t-shirt.
"Leave me alone" he said his voice raspy. He picked up the whisky bottle and took a drink.
"I'm sorry El" she said walking towards him and sitting on the bed in front of him.
"Just go" he said looking down at his revolver.
"Why so you can put the gun in your mouth and do the job properly this time?" she asked him watching as he picked it up.
"Maybe what have I got to live for….I'm pathetic" Olivia looked at him not knowing what to say. "I'm useless, a total fuck up" he laughed as he picked the bottle up again talking a bigger drink. "If I hadn't been such a fuck up I would have picked up a gun that worked the first time round"
"You're not a fuck up El….. I fucked up, I'm the pathetic one, you didn't do anything wrong" she watched him pick up the bottle and drink some more. "I was jealous of her, it scared me seeing her on top of you like that….. I know that sounds stupid but"
"Sssshhh" he said putting the gun to his lips "You're not stupid Liv, I am. I'm stupid for ever thinking someone as beautiful as you could be in love with me, I'm not worth it, I screw everything up" He said tapping the gun to his head " Just go, run, do what you do best, just leave"
"I can't" she said dropping down on the floor in front of him. "I can't leave you El, I need you. We need each other. We promised each other we would also be there to look out for each other and I fucked that up tonight. El look at me" she said lifting up his chin "I love you and I am so sorry for ever doubting you, and I am so sorry for being a stupid jealous Bitch. But most of all I am sorry for ever doubting your love for me and for not staying with you when you needed me the most. Please El don't leave me" she said putting her hand over the top of his on the revolver "I know I never had your back tonight like a partner should, but I can't bear the thought of you never being there" Elliot's grip on his revolver loosened and she pulled it away from him.
"I never wanted her Liv, I swear. I couldn't control what it was doing, not once was I turned on by her"
"I know Baby; I know I should never have said what I did"
Elliot looked at her tears in her eyes. "You are the only person for me Liv"
"I know El, I know" she cried.
"Liv….. Hold me" he sobbed. Olivia dropped down between his legs and put her arms around him holding him tight, she felt his arms go round her waist and she held him as they cried together. Elliot pulled back and looked at her. Olivia wiped his tears away and kissed him soft at first then hard as she held him tight. Liv pulled back from him slightly.
"Elliot, you know what we need to do now" Elliot nodded to her "Did you shower"
"No I just got dressed, picked up the bottle and gun, then sat here"
"Okay good" she said smiling slightly at him "you ready to go now"
"I guess" he said standing with her. "The blanket off the bed is in the bathroom"
"I will get it you get some shoes on" Olivia got a bag and put the blanket in quickly calling Cragen telling him she was on the way to the hospital with Elliot. He said he would meet them there. She met Elliot at the door "You ready"
"Yeah" he said taking her hand in his "Just don't leave me"
"Never" she said "I made that mistake once tonight never again"
Cragen met them at the hospital doors and forced a smile at them both putting a hand on Elliot's shoulder.
"You ready?" he asked him
"Yeah" said Elliot as they all walked in together
Elliot was taken into a private room for his examination Olivia went with him when he refused to go in alone and kept hole of her hand. She stood by him when he was photographed and samples taken ready to send off for analysis. Through it all Elliot kept hold of Olivia his eyes never leaving hers. He got dressed after and they went to find Cragen.
"We need to take your statement as soon as possible Elliot" Cragen told him.
"I will do it now, I want it all over with, I just need to …" he nodded to the men's rest room leaving loose of Olivia's hand and kissing her quickly as he walked away. When he entered Olivia turned to Cragen.
"I'm so sorry" she said to him.
"Me to Olivia…. I spoke to haung, I should have known you wouldn't just leave him like that" he looked down at his feet not wanting to look at her. She walked up to him and put her arms around him.
"I deserved it" she said as he held her back "I know you only say it cause you care"
"I care more than you two will ever know" he sighed holding her tight.
"Err Cap are you coming onto my girlfriend?" asked Elliot standing behind them.
"You mean your Fiancée "he smiled letting her go. Olivia went straight to Elliot's side.
"Cap I'm so sorry about your lip and stuff" he said
"Don't say anything its forgotten" he said
"do you think we could we do the interview in the morning I just want to go home sleep and be with Liv" said Elliot.
"Sure, just come in when you're ready tomorrow"
They went back to Olivia's apartment, they didn't talk much on the way back but Elliot's hand was always touching Olivia in some way.
"I'm going to take a shower" he said when the entered the apartment.
"Do you want some food, I could order a pizza"
"Erm yeah okay, I'm not to hungry but I will try" he said disappearing into the bathroom. Olivia heard the shower start as she ordered the pizza. She walked into the bathroom and took her clothes off; nervously she opened the shower door. Elliot had his back to her, he was leaning against the back wall his head resting against It the water running down miss back. Olivia climbed in and closed the door; she stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I thought you might need your back washed"
"That would be nice" he replied without turning round. She picked up the soap and rubbed it over his back, gently massaging his shoulders and back, she moved her hands round to his chest. Elliot turned round to face her.
"Liv" he said his voice husky.
Olivia pressed her fingers to his lips "Sssshhh". She rubbed the soap between her hands before putting it down, she dropped her hands down and took hold of him, she felt him twitch as she took hold of him and began to rub her hand up and down his soft limp shaft washing him. She looked into Elliot's eyes as she began to massage him "I love you Baby" she told him looking down and realising he was still soft. "El relax baby" she said lifting one hand up to stroke his face. She seen the sadness and panic as he realised he wasn't getting hard from her touch.
"I….. I…What if "
"Don't say anything" she said kissing him as her hand carried on working "Your thinking too much" she moaned as his tongue found hers and they danced between their mouths "Oh baby" Olivia moaned and smiled as she felt him harden against her hand.
"Oh God Liv" he groaned pushing into her hand.
"That's it baby " she told him looking down and seeing him hard, thick and long in her hand as she pumped her hand hard and fast "Cum for me El".
Elliot took hold of her hand and removed it from him "Not like this" he told her " I want to come inside you" he pushed her against the shower wall and lifted one of her legs as he guided himself into her, and pushed in hard .
"Mmmm Baby ..Fuck me" she begged him as he lifted her other leg round his waist and held her up under her ass cheeks as he pounded into her "Don't hold back I need you to come inside me, I need to feel you" she gasped as he pushed her up against the shower wall.
"It's only ever you Liv, nobody else I promise you" he panted "look at me " he ordered. "Don't you ever doubt me again"
"I promise I won't …Fuck I'm so close"
"Me to …..I love you Olivia … more than you will ever know" he said as he came inside her, his hot come covering her silky walls as he emptied himself. Feeling him come was all it took for Olivia as she gripped him hard and her body shook as the wave of pure ecstasy ran through her "You are mine Olivia Benson and nobody else's" he said his head dropping to her shoulder. She reached over and turned off the shower.
"We should maybe get out, " she smiled " the pizza will be here soon"
"Liv wait" he said taking her hand in his and turning her to face him "I am going to stand up in court and tell the judge and jury exactly what Dani done to me, to us. Now I want you there with me the full way by my side, but if you can't if you think you will find it to hard then I will understand. Just promise me that you won't run when it get so hard"
"El I'm not going anywhere, I made a huge mistake tonight by running it won't happen again, we are in this together, I will support you throughout this and stand by your side"
Elliot smiled "You're sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure, I love you Elliot Stabler. Now get your cute ass out the shower and dried, I need some pizza" Olivia grabbed a towel and pulled It round her "Don't get to dressed Stabler I aint finished with you tonight as soon as that pizza arrives we and it are going to bed and we aren't leaving till we have to" she grinned grabbing his towel from around his waist and walking off with it, smiling over her shoulder.
Boy some of that was hard to write for some reason, hardest chapter yet, hope it was ok.