"Mph." Starrk chewed on a piece of cheese, half-closing his eyes in bliss. He'd taken it from the breakfast table and it was his favorite type, sharp, hard and full of tiny crystals. He loved the way they popped in his mouth, crunching under his teeth. Another taste from his childhood, the cheese brought back happy memories of the family table and newer memories of eating it every morning with Lilinette and his mates.
A little went a long way, though, and he wrapped up the piece of cheese again before sticking it into his coat pocket. Then he glanced around, smiling as he saw his breath steaming in the air. The weather had shifted suddenly only a few days ago, dumping snow over Soul Society and plunging them into winter temperatures. He'd been invited to this little party, in a private park. They'd reserved the place for him, which was very kind of them. Starrk sometimes wished his reiatsu wasn't so difficult. Even now, it isolated him.
The park was beautiful though. Full of snow, it was perfect for playing children. Shimonami was the oldest and often bossy with the boys. Her ideas didn't always go over well, but today she'd hit a home run. She'd gotten them building snow forts and started a spirited snowball fight. The boys and little Kata loved it, they were having an excellent time. Lilinette, Kinomi and Juushiro were in it too and Starrk smiled at the laughter in the air, taking a quick look at Mila Rose. She was here to look after Shimonami and was quietly sipping a cup of coffee. Then he glanced at Ichigo and Grimmjow. They were standing to the side, just watching.
Starrk examined them, wishing they were happier. But it was probably too much to ask… this had been a very tough week for them. Grimmjow had been healed by Orihime just a day ago and he was tired and drained. Ichigo looked drawn and hollow eyed, leaning slightly against Grimmjow and letting the Espada hold him. Grimmjow had his arm around Ichigo's waist, holding him close. Starrk could almost feel them supporting each other.
Warm arms went around him and Starrk leaned back against Shunsui's chest. It felt wonderful to be held and he turned his head to give his mate a smile. That smile widened as he saw the hat Shunsui was wearing. His straw hat was perfect for spring, summer and even fall but it wasn't warm enough for winter. So today, he was wearing a cap that had been quilted for him by Mia. It was brightly colored and patchwork, with amusing little tassels. His hairpins glittered like tiny jewels in the bright sun and Starrk closed his eyes as he was pulled into a warm, loving kiss.
"Oi! Starrk!" Surprised, the Coyote looked back to see that Grimmjow was glowering at him. But he seemed more amused than really angry. "Your fraccion is cheating!"
"Cheating? How?" He asked, bewildered. Turning his attention to the fray he saw a snowball that should have missed curve to hit Tigre in the back of the head. The boy squalled and looked behind him, confused by the sneak attack. Shunsui chuckled softly at the sight "Oh. You can discipline her, if you want." That was definitely Lilinette's doing. Grimmjow grinned fiendishly, giving Ichigo a quick kiss before going to take care of the smaller half of the Primera. He stalked up behind her and grabbed her, making her scream.
"HEY! Put me down! Starrrrrk!" She cried as she was hung upside down by the ankles. Grimmjow just laughed. Unfortunately, Lilinette was holding a snowball. Starrk's eyes went wide as she drew her arm back.
"Lily, don't!" He tried to stop her but she let fly and Grimmjow's eyes also went wide just before he screamed.
"OH FUCK YOU BITCH!" He let go of her and Lilinette yelped as she landed on her head. That was nothing, though, compared to the way Grimmjow curled up and grasped his pride and joy. "Right in the babymakers! Shit!" Lilinette ran to what she supposed was safety from the outraged and emasculated Espada… her bigger half. Unfortunately for her, Starrk wasn't entirely sympathetic.
"Oi Starrk! What the hell?!" Lilinette squirmed as he scooped her up and over one shoulder, holding her in place with his right arm and catching her legs with his left. That left her bottom in a rather good spot and Starrk smiled before calling to Grimmjow.
"Grimmjow! I think she deserves a spanking. One shot, so make it good." He said as his other half screamed and started thrashing. She couldn't get away, though. Starrk was definitely the stronger half.
Wap! Grimmjow delivered a very nice, open handed slap to Lilinette's bottom. Starrk winced as she punched him in the head and dropped her, letting her go. She tried to kick him but he blocked and then she took off, crying. Tigre looked concerned and followed her but Starrk just shook his head.
"She needs to grow up a little." He said to the mildly shocked Shunsui. He scratched his head, looking dubious. "I didn't tolerate as much from her, back when I was Lupe." The lazy Coyote had let his fraccion do anything she wanted, but the living man had been a different matter. A few light kicks and smacks had been the limit of the abuse he would tolerate. And now that he cared again, he wouldn't let her abuse others. "A snowball in the testicles is just rude." He added and Shunsui laughed.
"I can't argue with that!" He said cheerfully and Starrk smiled as he glanced at the smallest additions to their party.
Toshiro, Guadalupe and Tabitha were all wearing snowsuits and looking around in wide eyed wonder. It was the first snow they'd seen in their lives and Guadalupe squealed as she thrashed in it. Tabitha and Toshiro were both crawling through it, their little hands protected by warm mitts. Starrk hadn't been sure about bringing them – he still wasn't sure how changing would go with those snowsuits in the way – but Yuzu and Akari, their nanny, both thought it would be fine. Who was he to question female wisdom?
Starrk's eyes went wide as fear and rage raced through him. It wasn't his emotion, but it also was, because Lilinette was part of him… he launched into sonido without a thought, running to his other half. She had run behind some trees, out of sight of most of them. He saw her clinging to the legs of a numero who had Tigre in his grip. The little boy was unconscious or worse but his other half was stopping the arrancar from getting away. There was something off about him but Starrk had no time at all to consider it. The numero spotted him and snarled before dropping Tigre and punching a hand through Lilinette's chest.
"LILINETTE! NO!" Starrk couldn't imagine how a numero could do such a thing – Lilinette was the weaker of the two, true, but that was mostly for offense. Her hierro was as strong as any adjuchas – and he reacted out of pure panic. He grabbed his diminutive other half and tried to release, lend her power, anything to save her. Starrk's awareness flowed into her body and the two of them were both looking through her eyes, feeling… what?
It was difficult to define. Not painful, precisely, but exceedingly strange. It felt like the world was covered in a red haze and he was seeing the very structure of it, on a level that was beyond what his mind could easily comprehend. It vaguely reminded him of sensing the 'rips' in reality but that was merely sensing… this was seeing the very essence of it, the fabric of everything. Much of it was too alien for him to understand at all and to protect himself, his mind simply shut those things out, refusing to acknowledge them. But what he could comprehend was amazing. And behind that…
So lonely. The feelings behind the force touching him were so powerful that they brought tears to his eyes. So desperate to be free. The Red Queen… he vaguely knew what was reaching for him, trying to suck him in, but the emotions behind the hunger were somewhat comprehensible. Alien, but his mind translated them into loneliness and fear, pain and desperation. It was so desperate to be free. The cast off bits of reality that had given rise to it were like a prison and somewhere along the way, it had tasted reality and come to crave it. It was trapped, trapped and alone and to Starrk it suddenly seemed unbearably cruel that they were denying it. It was so wrong to leave it there, trapped and despairing…
Then a blade came down and the numero exploded in red mist. Starrk blinked but managed to gather himself as the red made a final try at taking his soul. Regretfully, he denied it, pulling himself and Lilinette away. Despite the compassion he felt for the thing that was the Red Queen, he couldn't give it what it wanted. Because for it to be free meant that the reality he knew would cease to exist. What kind of reality would come after that, he wasn't entirely sure. But Starrk knew it would be something he would be hard pressed to recognize.
Then a crushing weariness, unlike anything he'd felt before, hit him and Starrk suddenly realized how close they'd come. He'd been unaware of the drain while he was bound to Lilinette and experiencing that strange awareness, but the numero-thing had been sucking in their power like a sponge. They would recover – it had been a reiatsu drain only – but Starrk was suddenly beyond exhausted. Lilinette was already unconscious in the snow so he did the only thing he could.
He passed out.
"Wake up you motherfucking bastard!" Grimmjow roared at the unconscious Primera as Ichigo tried frantically to wake their boy. He was breathing but they couldn't get him to wake up. "If you ate him I'll kill you!"
"Grimmjow-sama, please stop." Juushiro said as Shunsui gripped Grimmjow's arm, trying to stop him from kicking Starrk. He'd already landed one good blow, but the Coyote wasn't waking up either. Unlike Tigre, though, his power still felt complete. "If Starrk-sama took part of your son's soul, I'm sure Szayel-sama and Orihime-san can recover it." He said soothingly as Ichigo cuddled Tigre to his chest, glancing up. Grimmjow didn't seem very comforted by that.
"He's right Grimm. If it was Starrk, we'll be able to fix it. If it wasn't…" Ichigo swallowed, looking at the puddle of red stuff on the ground. It was rapidly dissipating from the snow and the edge of his blade. Zangetsu was lying in the snow, forgotten in the rush to see to Tigre and Starrk. "I don't know." Getting a soul out of a hollow might be difficult but he was sure Szayel could do it. That other thing, he wasn't sure at all.
"We need to get them to mama or Szayel-sama." Casamir said practically and Grimmjow growled, running a hand over his face. Then he bent over and picked up Starrk, slinging him over his back in a fireman's carry. Shunsui picked up Lilinette and spoke quietly to Juushiro, who nodded. He stayed with Akari, helping her, Yuzu and Mila Rose with getting the children home.
Ichigo didn't care about that, though. What he cared about was making his boy better. They went to Orihime first, hoping that she could fix it. Ichigo had just barely put Tigre on the floor when the golden shield came up over him.
It seemed to take forever. Both the young parents watched anxiously as Orihime seemed to struggle with something. The fight was clear on her face as sweat began to bead on her skin. Ulquiorra wasn't there – he was guarding the towers – but Ichigo spotted a shinigami, likely one of the Onmitsukido, taking a quick peek into the room. Ulquiorra had left Orihime and Casamir with a watcher he trusted, and likely more than one.
"Papi?" That whisper seemed like a signal and the golden shield shattered. Bright blue eyes opened as Ichigo sobbed harshly and hugged his son. Grimmjow was there right behind him, enfolding them both in his arms. He gently kissed his child, who squirmed. "Hey, let me go!" Tigre was sounding a little offended and Grimmjow chuckled, gently ruffling his hair as Ichigo smiled.
"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked as he let go of Tigre. His son frowned, looking a lot like him as he thought about it.
"That numero came out of nowhere and grabbed me. Then things felt… really funny. It didn't feel bad." He said slowly before scratching his nose. "Just really weird. Hey, is Starrk okay?" Tigre said as he noticed the disregarded Espada. Grimmjow had dumped him on the floor and Shunsui had gently set Lilinette down beside him, so she was partly draped over his body. "He feels like he's hardly there." Tigre said with a frown. Ichigo looked at Orihime questioningly but she shook her head.
"I can't help him Kurosaki-kun. I'm so tired… I almost couldn't heal him. Something was fighting me. If it had been any longer…" She said and Ichigo swallowed as Grimmjow growled and cuddled Tigre again. Their son growled right back and tried to fight him off, even nipping Grimmjow's arm. The sight of that made Ichigo smile. Their boy felt completely normal now and didn't want to be coddled, but he wasn't aware of how frightened they'd been.
"Forgive me, but we should get Starrk to Unohana then. I know she can treat reiatsu draining and Starrk is supposed to depart for the Living World tomorrow." Shunsui said and Ichigo caught the unspoken concern. If Starrk was late Aizen wouldn't be pleased and his temper seemed to be getting worse and worse. He might understand that this was an attack of the red things but he might not, too.
"I can go with you. Grimm, can you take Tigre home?" Ichigo asked. He was quite sure that Grimmjow wouldn't want to be parted from his son. Not to his surprise, the Espada nodded.
"Yeah, I'll keep 'em safe." He said with a feral growl and Ichigo was sure that if anything unusual dared show itself, it would be torn into very tiny shreds. This time he took Lilinette and Shunsui took Starrk. Kyoraku handled the weight easily, which was impressive. Starrk was not a small man.
When they got them to the Fourth, Unohana wasn't available but one of her seated officers was. After a quick check he assured them that the Primera was just reiatsu drained and it was actually very easy for them to fix. 'Easy to fix' quickly became 'put a retaining collar on him', though, after the first healer to touch Starrk collapsed in a pale heap. Starrk wasn't reaching out, probably because his body was fine, but when offered reiatsu he would take it… all of it. After a suitable collar as placed on him, though, the healers were able to work without risking their own lives. The first healer would live, too, but that was a close thing.
When he was certain the Coyote and his smaller half were going to be fine, Ichigo left the Division. He wanted to get home, wanted to make sure that everyone was still fine. Tigre, Tabitha, Yuzu… even Grimmjow, that thing had almost gotten Starrk… he needed to know they were fine. For almost the first time since his rape at Aizen's hands, he was completely focused outside himself. That helped, it really did. And he finally had Grimmjow back.
Together, they would take care of their family.
"Ichigo." That warm voice in his ear made him shiver, but it wasn't entirely lust. No, it was fear too. Ichigo couldn't help it, he knew Grimmjow would feel it, but there was nothing he could do. "…What did that fucker do to you?" The Espada asked, his voice a low growl and full of venom. Ichigo shuddered, taking a deep breath.
"Grimm, not here." They were in the living room and Grimm had just started cuddling him. "Later, when the kids are asleep." He said firmly before looking over and seeing the look on the arrancar's face. Grimmjow's blue brows were pulled down and he was frowning angrily, but he could tell the anger wasn't directed at him. It could be, though. Despite everything they'd been through together, Grimmjow was still volatile at times. "I'll tell you everything later." He promised before he gently kissed the Espada. That seemed to gentle his mood and Grimmjow returned the affection, resting a hand on his back for a moment.
"Yeah, later. I'll go help Yuzu with the food. You can go back to that book if you want." He said and Ichigo nodded. He'd been reading before Grimmjow had interrupted him, examining the kido book. He wasn't sure what Yoruichi was planning but she had to be working on something and he wanted to be ready. Although if he was still Claimed by Grimm, he might be forced to fight his own father. Putting that thought out of mind – he couldn't do anything about it – Ichigo went back to his kido book. He was working on the offensive spells today, just memorizing the incantations and doing some basic exercises with the retainers on full power. He wouldn't risk any kind of accident in the house.
Something bit him on the foot and Ichigo almost dropped his book before looking down in shock. Little Tabby was there, looking very pleased with herself. His shock turned into delight and he smiled before putting the book aside and picking her up.
"You're a terrible little girl, you know that?" He told the now crawling baby, who babbled some baby nonsense. "Gwaya? Not sure what that means, sweety. Can you say papi?" The answer was no, of course, but Ichigo smiled as she babbled some more and gently kissed her. "I love you." He whispered to her, smelling the sweet baby smell as he cuddled her close. "But you really shouldn't bite people." He added. Ichigo had a feeling she wouldn't be doing it long anyway. Grimmjow had a very direct way of handling nippy cubs… he nipped them back. It had only taken Tigre biting his other sire once before he'd figured out he shouldn't do that. Ichigo wasn't sure about that parenting technique but he had to admit it worked. The spanking worked too, but Grimmjow was responsible with it. He always made it very clear why Tigre was getting spanked and he made sure it hurt, but not seriously. Ichigo remembered the spanking he'd been given, so long ago. The things Grimm did to Tigre were nothing like that.
Remembering that punishment made him feel depressed and he sighed for a moment before blinking as a little hand touched his cheek. He looked down at little Tabitha and saw brown eyes looking at him, wondering why he was acting so sad? Ichigo forced a smile for her that quickly turned genuine as she smiled back. His children were like a warm light in his heart. Being around them made everything better.
"Itsy-papi!" Tigre jumped on the sofa beside him, making it creak. Ichigo smiled as he saw how big the boy was getting. His clothing was looking a bit too short again, they would have to see if they could take the hems out. Which reminded him, they would be moving to their new place in just a week. Most of it was done, the kido builders worked fast, but there was interior work that needed to be done. "Hey, pay attention!" Tigre said, all too accurately and Ichigo blinked. "Look what I made! Isn't it neat?" His boy offered him… what?
"Oh, a friendship bracelet." It was made with brightly colored embroidery threads, clearly taken from Yuzu's collection. "Where did you learn to do that?" He didn't know and he couldn't imagine Grimmjow had taught their boy that. Maybe Yuzu? But Tigre surprised him.
"Lilinette taught me. I like her a lot, papi." He said and Ichigo remembered how Tigre had followed her. He'd wondered why his son had done that, after the incident with the numero-thing. "It's for you." He said shyly and Ichigo smiled, touched. Looking at the bracelet again he saw Tigre had picked out the colors with care. White, black, orange and red.
"Thank you, I love it. Why don't you put it on for me?" He suggested, shifting Tabby to his other arm and offering Tigre a wrist. The little boy nodded and tied the bracelet in place for him. "…I love you." He suddenly whispered, putting an arm around his son. Tigre squirmed, uncomfortable.
"Please don't get all mushy. I'm fine papi!" He pleaded and Ichigo laughed, letting go. Tigre definitely didn't like being fussed over and he didn't understand that his parents just couldn't help it sometimes. "Papi? What are you reading? Is that your kido stuff? I want to try it!" He said, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ichigo blinked at the thought.
"You do? Uh… sure." Really, why not? Tigre had already learned how to make a basic cero, although it was weaker than even Lilinette's at the moment. But he would grow into his power and maybe it would be better to start early. "Why don't you come with me to the backyard while they're making supper?" He suggested and Tigre nodded enthusiastically.
So they worked in the backyard for a while and to Ichigo's pleasure and slight annoyance, Tigre took to kido readily. Pleasure because his boy was doing well, but annoyance because everything came so much easier to his boy than it ever had to him. Ichigo paused for a moment, suddenly wondering. His problems had been due to his vast reiryoku. Did this mean Tigre had inherited Grimmjow's strength rather than his?
Yeah, probably. You're a fucking freak, King. Honestly, it might be better for him if he's more like Grimmjow. And maybe he'll be like Yamamoto, grow into his full strength slowly. His hollow said and Ichigo nodded. He had a point, having absurd strength then trying to figure out how to release it was a pain in the ass. I bet Tabby cat's going to be more like you, though. Hierro as a baby? And Szayel said her reiryoku is pretty damned solid for an infant. That was unusual too, it typically took the babies a while to get any kind of strength.
"Could be. Hey, where have you been?" He asked, a bit distracted from Tigre. "I haven't heard from you for a while." His hollow had been strangely silent. There was a pause before the white psychopath spoke.
Getting to know someone. You got a problem, King? He blinked at the hostility but wisely let it drop. Although who could his hollow be getting acquainted with? Surely he wasn't talking about Zangetsu? No, that was absurd, he already knew the zanpakuto inside out. They lived in the same world after all. As he watched Tigre working on Sai, Ichigo pondered the question. Who could his hollow…
He has been fraternizing with Pantera. Zangetsu said in tones of clear disapproval as his hollow yelped. Ichigo's eyes went wide at the thought.
"Pantera?!" He said it out loud and Tigre shot him a confused look. He just smiled and shook his head. Tigre frowned, but then shrugged and went back to his exercises. "Are you serious? What's Pantera like?" He was very curious now. There was a muttered insult, directed at Zangetsu, before his hollow spoke.
He's fucking cute King. He looks like Grimmjow's released form, but without all the bone, and he wears a white yukata with nothin' underneath. And he's a natural yuke, not like that dominant bastard. Ichigo blinked at the information. He says he's Grimmjow's sensitive side or some shit. It's hard for us to get together but I'm still getting more action than I've ever had in my life. Don't fuck this up for me King.
"I… won't. Why would I?" He asked, a bit baffled. Why should he care if his hollow was getting it on with Grimmjow's zanpakuto? Although… "Wait, does Grimmjow know?" Maybe that was what his hollow was worried about, that he would let something slip. There was a huff before his hollow spoke again.
No and that's how we like it. Pantera thinks he might freak. Ichigo nodded. That concern made sense. And if Pantera really was Grimm's sensitive side, that might explain why the Espada would be protective of him. It made him wonder, though. Was that why Grimmjow was so tone deaf about human interactions, sometimes? Had he separated out his gentler feelings into his zanpakuto on purpose, or had it just happened that way? Or was Pantera just a reflection of the feelings hidden deep inside?
"Ichi-nii, Tigre-chan, supper's done!" Yuzu called and Tigre abandoned his practice with alacrity. Ichigo followed, breathing in the scent of good food. Tonight it was roasted pork tenderloin in a sweet sauce with apples. There was a side dish of rice and steamed vegetables which everyone tucked into with good appetite. Grimm offered Tabby a few bites of meat but she was uninterested. Milk was all she wanted.
After supper was over they just hung out, laughing and talking. But finally he and Grimmjow went to the bedroom. Ichigo pulled his clothes off with a feeling of dread. Grimmjow was fully healed, now, thanks to Orihime. He would want to be pleasured and Ichigo just didn't want to, not today. It had only been a few days since Aizen… he tried to force that thought out of his mind but it kept coming back. He took a deep breath then almost jumped out of his skin in surprise as warm arms went around him.
"Hey. Calm the fuck down." Grimmjow's voice was unsteady and Ichigo swallowed as he realized he'd been feeding some very bad emotions to the Espada. Insulting ones, too, although Grimm would understand the meaning behind them. "We don't have to fuck if you don't want to." Ichigo blinked at that, surprised. It was very rare for the arrancar to give him a choice, even now. Although typically he didn't want to say no and Grimm knew it. "What did he do to you?" That angry growl was back and Ichigo drew a deep breath, shuddering as he remembered.
"It… hurt, a lot. I lubed up like you said but it didn't really help. He used his power…" Talking about it brought back the memories and he shivered. Grimmjow gently tugged him towards the bed and he went willingly, settling down in the warm blankets with his lover's arms around him. Ichigo sniffed for a moment before resting his head against that broad chest. Grimmjow rubbed his back, lending him comfort.
"Yeah, he does that sometimes. The thing with Aizen is, you never know what he'll want. He likes all kinds of shit… one day it's bondage, another it's making you scream with pleasure, the next it's making you scream with pain… you never really know what you'll get." Grimmjow said in a low tone and Ichigo shuddered at the thought. And the Espada accepted this? He really didn't understand hollows sometimes. "He didn't take you from the front, did he?" Grimmjow suddenly demanded and Ichigo flinched, wincing. He knew this would infuriate his mate.
"He did." He said quietly and saw bright blue eyes darken with rage. "Grimm, we're shinigami. It doesn't really matter." He tried to tell the arrancar, but he knew he was lying to himself. Maybe it was just being so long with Grimmjow and taking in his attitudes, but somehow it did matter.
"It matters to me! You're my mate! He doesn't get to…" Then Grimmjow stopped and Ichigo could almost feel his anguish. Because they didn't have a mating bond, they couldn't, and as long as they didn't Aizen did have the right to do what he wanted. Violating hollow customs would be a grey area in this instance since he and Aizen weren't hollows, but that didn't make things better. "Fuck. I don't know what to say, what to do, how to make this better!" Grimmjow burst out before hugging him tightly. Ichigo gasped a little at the pressure before punching the Espada on the shoulder. Grimm grunted before loosening his grip.
"Grimm… there's nothing you can say or do to make things better. Sometimes, they just have to get better on their own." He said softly. He knew that from his time helping his dad in the clinic. That would be a bitter pill for an active person like Grimmjow to swallow but it was nothing but the truth. "I'll get better. Just give me some time." Ichigo was sure he would get past this. He had his children, a loving mate and honestly, he was no stranger to rape. Grimmjow had always favored a different kind of rape but it still hadn't been consensual. This new experience was painful and scarring but he would recover. The Espada looked at him doubtfully, blue eyes scanning his face. Brown met blue and Ichigo tried to convey his sincerity, both through his expression and the Claim. Grimmjow finally nodded before letting out his breath in a sigh.
"Alright. I guess you're right. Let's go to sleep then." He said, sounding tired and defeated. Ichigo gently squeezed his arm before they curled up together in the bed. The normality of having Grimmjow there, the warm body at his back quickly lulled him to sleep. The days the Espada had been under Unohana's care had been hard for him that way. It had been tough to get to sleep without that warm weight against his back.
He slept deeply and there were no dreams.