Tankards and Tempers

Chapter 36: Alas, poor Laska. I knew her well.

The sound of laughter and drunk merriment sounded as the door to the Five Flagon's Inn opened, and a drunken elf staggered into the night. Laska Leafwalker let out a zombie-like moan as she labored to shuffle one foot after the other. The celebration of the Roenall takedown had gotten a little out of hand. Lord Dougal had taken Laska to the celebration, and had dragged Nalia along with him. Of course, Korgan had insisted on coming along.

On the upside, she finally got to try Cormyrian Dragon Piss. It had a kick like a mule, tasted like paint-stripper and only got better after the third tankard. On the downside, she had lost Korgan, Nalia and Dougal in the crowd and now had to figure out how to get home.

"Okay," Laska slurred as she supported herself against the wall. "Now where did I live again?"

Her vision was blurred and she felt more light-headed with every step she took. The tattooed elf collided with a lamppost and managed to grab hold of it instead of tumbling face-first into the group. The elf hoisted herself up and regarded the door.

"Okay... left... or right? Hmmmmmmmmmmm," Laska bit her lip as she burned off a couple of braincells trying to drunkenly reason in which direction her house was.

"Uuuuuuuuuughhhhh," Laska closed her eyes as the light from the lamppost turned her skull into an exploding fireball. "Okay, one's of the two..." she slurred. "Ienie, meanie, minie, moe... In that direction I shall go..."

Instead of heading either left or right, she headed straight into a nearby alleyway, staggering from left to right and narrowly avoiding a dumpster. The alleyway looped in a U-bend around a house and she found herself back at the very same road. "Hm, another road..." Laska narrowed her eyes as her blurred vision started to play tricks on her mind. "Errrmmmm... dammit, why is this so hard? Okay, Laska, you can do this? Left or right? I shall go... right!"

She staggered back alongside the road and promptly fell right into the same alleyway from before as the wall she supported herself on ended. Laska swore like a dockworker, picked herself up and followed the same U-bending alleyway. Once again, she found herself standing at the road. "Oh, gods-dammit," Laska kicked the side of the building in anger. "Why are the so many gods-damned roads in this sodding city? Okay, left or right... I shall go... RIGHT!"

This time she shuffled along to the road until she came across a familiar looking house. "Rose's house!" Laska told herself. The red lantern in front of the house was not lit, so Laska made her way to the other entrance and knocked on the door. Her sensitive elven ears picked up the sound of someone inside slowly getting out of bed and cautiously walking towards the door. The little wooden slide in the door opened, and as soon as the person behind the door saw that who had knocked, she undid the many blots and opened the door.

Rose, clad in a white bathrobe and wearing slippers, stood in the door opening. "Laska?"

"Hi Rose," Laska hiccuped. "D-do you know where I live?"

"Gods, you're so drunk," Rose said as she pulled the elf into the house, closed the door and redid the latches.

"Yeah, is great, innit?" Laska said proudly as she swaggered on her feet. "Three tankards of Cormyrian Dragon Piss!"

"Three tankards?!" Rose blinked. "One shot class of that stuff could kill a man!"

"I ain't no man!" Laska cheered, then promptly fell forward. Rose yelped as both she and Laska fell backwards into a chair. The tattooed elf found herself draped over a soft feminine body and pressed her cheek against Rose's bosom. "Hm... Bugger getting home, this is much nicer. I'm right where I wanna be."

"Gods, Laska, you can't be out at night in this state," said Rose. "This is a dangerous neighborhood for a woman alone. Why do you think I have three massive bolts on both my doors?"

But Laska could no hear her anymore. The elf had fallen fast asleep. Rose smiled to herself and started running her hand through Laska's hair. Thankfully, Laska was surprisingly light, so it was relatively easy for her to drag the elf to bed. Laska was plopped down on the bed and, after removing her boots, Rose put the duvet over her.

The half-elf sat down on the side of the bed and watched Laska sleep for a moment. The drunk elf was out like a light, and let out a drunken feminine snore as she slept. Rose reflected on how peaceful she looked; it was almost cute if Rose could forget that Laska was actually a fierce warrior.

"Well, you certainly keep life interesting, Laska," Rose whispered. Actually, she had something wonderful to tell Laska, but it would have to wait till this morning.

She didn't quite feel like sleeping, and Rose was struck by the vision of loveliness in her bed. Indeed, she felt the overwhelming urge to draw. The half-elf stepped over to where she kept her art supplied and picked up her sketchbook and a piece of charcoal. She sat down on the bed again and started to draw a sketch of Laska as she slept. Already, after a few minutes, Laska's face as she lay smushed against the pillow was coming out nicely, but she felt there was something missing.

Rose smiled to herself, walked over to her dresser and took some lipstick from her make-up kit. After liberally smearing her lips with the bright red substance, she walked over to the bed, leaned over Laska and pressed her lips against the elf's cheek, leaving a bright red imprint of Rose's lips. Laska stirred slightly, but did not awaken.

Rose smiled, it was a perfect picture. Now she only needed to finish the drawing.

When done, Rose hung her robe from the wall and slipped into bed. She hugged Laska from behind and held onto her.

"I'm falling for you, Laska Leafwalker," Rose whispered. The only answer was a snore.

Laska eyes fluttered open, which she immediately regretted. Her head felt as if it had been split open with a dwarven axe, her eyes felt as if they wanted to pop out of her skull. The sun pouring into the house was not a help either. She pulled the duvet over her head and let out a tortured groan.

Then, she wondered where she was. After peeking over the edge of the duvet, she noticed she was not in her own house but Rose's. "Rose?" she called out, her own voice resounding in her skull and tearing through her brain. "Rose, are you here?"

No answer.

How did she get here? Where did Rose go? What time is it? Did she have sex last night?"

The last question was the most important and since she noticed she was still wearing her clothes. She didn't know if she was supposed to be relieved of disappointed – it had been a long time since she had been this dead drunk, after all.

She sat up in bed and rubbed her skull. It would be nice to go to the wash basin and splash some water in her face, but it would be taking far too much effort currently. In fact, her legs weren't working yet.

It was then that she noticed a scrap of paper lying on the pillow next to her. She picked it up and saw that it was a simple, yet realistic and beautifully rendered drawing of her. Something was written below it. 'Didn't have the heart to wake you. Went to the auction. Will be back soon. There's bread in the kitchen if you want some. Love, Rose'. A heart was drawn next to the message.

Laska smiled at the message, until a single word bored itself into her recovering brain.

"Oh, shit! The auction!" Laska said as attempted to jump out of bed. Unfortunately, her legs didn't respond and she fell out of bed, flat on her face. Lying on her back, and staring at the window, she deduced it was actually quite late in the morning. Her drow friend would have been waiting for her for quite some time now.

"Bollocks, I'm so screwed."

"If we could have been here sooner," Viconia said with mild annoyance as she and Laska stepped out of the government building, "we would have gotten our hands on more of the better items in the auction."

"Hey, I was drunk and hung-over," said Laska. "Blame Lord Dougal."

"No, I'm blaming you!" Viconia sighed.

"You only want me to be your packmule anyway."

"Correct."

The auction of the Roenall-estate to pay off their debt to Lord De'Arnise had just ended and Laska and Viconia stepped out of the building brandishing their prizes. Viconia had been looking forward to buy quality artwork for ridiculously low prices, but unfortunately, she had been waiting for Laska to show up. The hung-over elf had rushed to the government district as quickly as she could, but when they had finally arrived at the auction, only to find most of the best items on the list already sold.

"Well, I got this cute lamp!" Laska smiled while she raised the blue porcelain oil-lamp. She breathed on the copper ring and rubbed away a smudge. "And it only cost me two coppers..."

"I wonder why?" Viconia muttered as she regarded the tacky lamp. "Didn't you notice you were the only one bidding for that... thing?"

"Hey, don't talk down to my lamp!" Laska retorted. "I'm going to put this in my bedroom."

"And out of sight of the non-esthetically challenged people," Viconia nodded. "I approve."

"Anyway, I don't see you with any great purchases. All that money for three times some paint on a canvas?"

"These happen to be masterpieces," Viconia replied while she held three paintings wrapped in a brown cloth. "I didn't think idiots like the Roenalls would have art like these fine works."

"Yeah," Laska smiled, reciting the titles of Viconia's paintings, "'Knife in the back', 'Silent hunter' and 'DeathStalker Betrayed'. I'm detecting a definite pattern here. And what about that sculpture you bought. The one with the metal triangles on the rods."

"That will only be delivered tomorrow. And those triangles signify agonizing loss, don't you know anything about art?" Viconia put down the paintings to cross her arms.

"Well," Laska smiled broadly while she stared across the square, "I don't know much about art, but I do know what I like."

When Viconia looked over her shoulder, she noticed Laska's strawberry blonde half-elven friend Rose, having exchanged her usual low-cut dress for a more conservative brown tunic. She flashed Laska a broad smile of her own.

"Hello there," Rose greeted the two elves. "Looks like you finally woke up."

Laska bit her lip. "Heya. I, uh, wasn't too much trouble last night, was I?"

"Not at all," said Rose and suddenly giggled. She reached over to Laska's cheek and rubbed off some red with her thumb. "There's still lipstick on your cheek."

"Ey?" Laska blinked and rubbed her cheek. "Vico, why didn't you say anything?"

Viconia cocked her head sideways. "Because it was funny."

"I hope you're not here for the auction. It's just ended..."

"Oh, no!" Rose said as the three of them walked over to a table near the food-court. "Actually, I went to the auction quite early so I think we just missed each other. I was about to get breakfast," she said as the three sat down. "In fact, I have some wonderful news."

"Oh?" Laska cocked her head sideways.

Rose smiled warmly. "I'm quitting the game, Laska. As of today, I am no longer a streetwalker. I have had my finals dealings with the last perverted nobles and had my last preventive disease spell yesterday."

"That is great news!" Laska smiled as she took Rose's hand.

Rose nodded briefly. "And it's all thanks to you."

"What?" Viconia looked stunned. "Are you saying that Laska actually had a positive influence on someone?! It boggles the mind!"

"Hey, I...Ack!" Laska suddenly exclaimed as something bright shone in her eyes. Covering her sensitive elven peepers with her hand she noticed the sun reflecting off some brightly polished armor. "Oh, crud!" Laska cursed. "It's Ah, no-mind... Rose, quickly! Kiss me!"

"Oh, yes, brilliant plan," Viconia rolled her eyes. "That's very inconspicuous. You'll blend in perfectly that way. Besides he's already seen you, judging by the sudden spring in his step."

Laska ignored Viconia and almost pulled Rose over the table to kiss her on the lips while Anomen approached.

"My lady, I..." Anomen said, then noticed the two kissing women. "Ah, I see you are busy. Do not mind me then, I shall wait for you."

A few moments later, Anomen was still waiting. Laska whispered, inaudible for all but elven ears: "He's still here, isn't he?"

"Afraid so," Viconia whispered back.

"Can't he take a hint?"

"Do you really expect me to answer that question?"

Reluctant to face Anomen, Laska let go of Rose and turned around very, very slowly. "Hello... Anomen," she muttered.

"So," Viconia muttered, "this display doesn't bother in the slightest then, Anomen?"

"Oh, definitely not, miss Viconia," Anomen spoke with unusual understanding. "I have been doing a lot of reading on the elven race lately and I have learned that elves show affection towards friends quite differently than us humans do. At first I found the lack of virtue the whole elven culture possesses frivolous, but I have come to the conclusion my fair lady cannot help but lack the human virtues due to her elven heritage. The lawless openness in her culture is... puzzling and repulsive at first, but not wholly unappealing. I cannot expect to hold my Lady to high moral standards her people are unused to."

"First of all, I'm standing right here and I can hear you. Second, I don't know if that's a compliment or if I should punch your lights out for the insult," Laska muttered.

"Forgive me, fair lady, but if we are to be lovers, I must your more about your culture," Anomen smiled.

"Lovers?" Rose blinked. "What is this about?"

"Delusional," Laska whispered, "ever had one of your clients fall in love with you?"

Rose nodded in understanding, but still regarded Anomen with narrowed eyes. He was competition for Laska's affection, after all.

"So," the tattooed elf asked, eager for a change of subject, "you were telling us about turning over a new leaf in your life."

"Oh, yes," Rose smiled. "Remember when I told you about my hopes to one day buy my own inn and that you suggested that I should speak to Jan about it?"

Viconia put her harms to her side and looked at Laska accusingly. "Wait," Viconia said. "I am this party's financial genius and you sent her to talk to that idiot gnome?"

"Jan helped me greatly," said Jan. "His idea for us to get starting capital was insane, but it worked. You see, me and some of the other girls who wanted out of the game pooled together to pull off our scheme. The massive Jansen family helped us spread rumors that a group of anonymous dockwhores were working together to write a collection of raunchy humorous tales about the mating habits of the Amnian nobles, which would be published through the Jansen Publishing Collective."

Laska blinked. "The Jansens own a publishing house?"

"I didn't know either. Apparently, they publish a lot of turnip related magazines. Rolling Turnip, Vanity Turnip, Turnip Geographic and PlayTurnip," Rose said. "In any case, the Jansen rumor mill did its trick and what followed was a seemingly endless stream of bribes from unknown sources, asking them to reconsider publishing the book! I've never seen anything like it. It was enough for the Jansens to cover their expenses and give me and the girls plenty of starting capital."

Viconia shook her head. "I will never understand how this surface world thinks."

"We put the money in the bank on a secured account," Rose said. "A lot of the girls have a black lotus habit, so it's wise not to tempt them too much. We're looking into buying the Mithrest inn. Old Brady is retiring, and is sympathetic to us. He promised he'll take our offer. It's a wonderful location, and we can definitely class up the place."

"Amazing," Laska sat back and smiled. "I'm so happy for you."

"OH! Where did you buy that lovely lamp?!" said Rose as she noticed the lamp standing next to Viconia's purchases.

"Hah, if she likes that lamp, the inn will be very classy indeed when she's done with it," Viconia muttered.

Afraid to look over her shoulder, Laska whispered to Viconia. "Anomen is still standing here, isn't here?"

Viconia looked over her shoulder and chuckled. "Indeed. This is getting quite awkward."

"I'll say," Laska whispered back.

Viconia turned toward Rose and spoke aloud. "Now that Rose will have an inn to run, does this mean she'll stop sneaking into your bedroom, Laska?" Viconia smirked.

"How did you kn..." Laska exclaimed, but then caught herself. "Errr, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," Viconia chuckled.

"Anyway," Laska said quickly, eager to get away from the love-struck Helmite while taking Rose by the hand. "We must be off now. Goodbye, Anomen!"

As elf and half-elf fled the scene, they left a glazy eyed Anomen standing next to Viconia, who was feeling rather miffed about being left with the man who did not come to her rescue back in Keep De'Arnise. Even worse, her purchases still needed to be moved to the house and Laska had taken her bag of holding with her.

"Ah, a pity," Anomen muttered. "I was planning to invite fair Laska to be my consort to today's Order banquet. But I am curious as to why a lady would sneak into another lady's bedroom."

"Oh," Viconia smirked. "It's the perfect setting for long, meaningful chats about boys, followed by a pillow fight and then trying out mother's make-up on each other's faces."

"Ah," Anomen nodded in understanding, "that makes sense. Perhaps I should go back to the Order guildhouse to..."

Viconia narrowed her eyes. "Hells, no! Delryn, you shall bring my purchases to my house this instance! It is your fault that Laska ran off, so now the task befalls you!"

Anomen frowned. "But..."

"NOW!"

At that moment, the only quest still on their books was to return the portal gem to the strange tiefling. Mostly, the portal gem had been lying about at Laska's house finding use as a paperweight or an impromptu bottle-opener. What they considered to be a simple job turned into an annoyance when Laska and her friends arrived at the playhouse only to find the troupe the gem belonged to in the middle of a performance. After buying tickets, the party quietly crept inside the darkened theater and took their seats.

"Oh, please don't make me go through this again," Keldorn all but whimpered as he took a seat on the bench in the basement of the Five Flagon's Inn. Having been to this same place with his wife a few weeks back, he was in no mood to watch this self-indulgent tripe for a second time.

"Sorry, Keldorn," Viconia said, "but the play had started, so what were we supposed to do? Hold up the portal gem and ask them to stop the play?"

"It's a thought," Keldorn muttered.

"Funny you don't like plays, Keldorn," Jan said. "I was certain paladins like yourself loved plays, especially the ones about paladins! Especially when they're about overly zealous, pompous, evil-seeking, do-gooder Paladins..."

"Watch yourself, sir gnome," Keldorn gritted his teeth.

"My cousin Gohanna Jansen once directed a play about the Lady paladin Diedre Braveheart, which was performed after her violent and valiant death defending the local gnomes from the Horned-Griffin With The Dripping Fangs, Razor-Sharp Teeth, But With A Dull Wit."

"Oh, sweet Torm," Keldorn groaned.

"Anyway, after Diedre was buried in fifty-seven different tiny caskets, the whole Order of the Aster showed up to honor their fallen member. Oh, it was a sight to behold; a beautiful play, with a stunning lead. A dastardly and foul plot, and a heroic death in battle for the beautiful Diedre Braveheart. A true tribute to her life, virtue and honor. I kid you not, we ended up with five hundred paladins in the audience, all crying their eyes out. The play was a wild success, and spread the fame and honor of Lady Diedre Braveheart across Toril. BUT! Lady Diedre Braveheart was not dead, but merely stunned, and the paladins accidentally buried some trash from the local slaughterhouse. So, naturally, Diedre was flattered when she heard of the success of the play and decided to attend one. Unfortunately, she visited the premiere of the play's unauthorized adult-themed sequel 'Lady Diedre Braveheart does Evermeet'. Cousin Gohanna always knew how to fill up the benches, you see? Anyway, as Diedre defended her honor, I couldn't help but notice her subtle fighting-techniques as she chopped my cousin to bits with her two elegant katanas."

"May Torm strike me dead," Keldorn buried his face in his heads.

In the meantime, Viconia was regarding the flowery play will little interest. A soft, feminine snore came from the person sitting next to her. "Dynaheir," Viconia nudged her friend awake. Immediately, Dynaheir started awake, rose from her seat and applauded loudly, only to glance around the annoyed audience and sheepishly stopped clapping to sit down on her seat.

On her far side, beyond Dynaheir, sat Laska, yawning rather obviously. "Vico," she whispered inaudible for all but elven ears. "When do you think this play is over?"

"Don't tell me you're falling asleep as well," Viconia snorted. "But with this play, it doesn't surprise me."

"Sorry," Laska replied, "I didn't get much sleep last night, and this dialog isn't helping much either."

'Oh, sweet Lunisia', the man on stage, a blue haired actor, spoke while he knelt to one knee. 'My heart aches for your touch, my soul throbs for your gentle kisses.'

'Oh, Rodrigo, Rodrigo!' the woman on stage, wearing a red robe to hide her odd greenish skin-color spoke as she regarded the other man. 'I ache for you when you are not near me. My feelings for you make me soar into the heavens!'

"BOLLOCKS!" was suddenly shouted from the audience as Laska rose from her seat. "THIS IS JUST COMPLETE AND UTTER BOLLOCKS! YOU WANT TO SHAG HER AND SHE WANTS TO SHAG YOU, SO JUST BLOODY SAY SO AND DO IT, SO WE CAN ALL GO HOME INSTEAD OF SITTING THROUGH ALL THIS UTTER, UTTER BOLLOCKS!"

"Here speaks Laska," Viconia muttered, "theatre-critic extra-ordinaire!"

"Wish I had said that two weeks ago," Keldorn muttered.

"Ye'd be sleepin' in the doghouse, matey! HAR HAR!" Korgan laughed.

"What?" the blue haired man said to the audience. "I would recognize that temper everywhere! My woodpecker has finally arrived, she had accompanied the gem, I hope."

"Yeah, I got your gem right here," Laska replied. "Is the play over now?"

"Errr, yes," Haer'Dalis directed to the audience. "Good folks of the audience. Rodrigo and Lunisia were happily married till they died of old age and boredom. Good night folks!"

"This is it?" a man from the audience replied.

"Yes, my good parrot," Haer'Dalis replied with a smile. "It's an award-winning new approach to closing a performance. There will be another performance... shortly..."

The audience seemed to buy it and slowly moved towards the exits, leaving Laska and her party behind while the entire Sigil troupe poured towards the stage.

"So," the green skinned woman who was playing Lunisia said, "you are the uncultured loud-mouth who interrupted our play."

"You want your gem or not?" Laska replied.

"Hush, Kiri," a regal woman spoke. She was tall, dressed in a red robe and had a strange, angular look. Her eyes resembled those of a cat as she regarded the party in front of her. "Greetings, good adventurers. I am Raelis Shai, thespian extra-ordinaire and leader of the Sigil troupe."

Laska was about to say something when Viconia jabbed in her side with an elbow. "She said 'thespian', Laska."

Laska blinked for a moment. "Oh."

"This lot are even stranger than us," Laska muttered, again inaudible for all but elven ears.

"They are fiendlings," Viconia whispered back. "Part demon-kin. I think this 'Shai' is part Glabrezu."

"Can they be trusted?" Laska asked.

"Can anyone be trusted ever?" Viconia whispered back.

Before Laska could reply to Raelis Shai's question, Minsc slowly raised his hand. "I have a question about the play," Minsc announced.

"Oh?" Haer'Dalis smiled. "Why might that be, my hound?"

"So when Rodrigo was away, what happened to the dragon attacking the castle after eating all the carrots?!" Minsc asked with enthusiasm.

"Dragon?" Haer'Dalis asked.

"Castle?" Kiri wondered.

"Carrots?" Raelis Shai muttered.

"Oh, excuse Minsc," Minsc replied sheepishly. "When I get a little drowsy my mind starts to wander. It's hard to tell what I make up in my mind and what is part of the play."

"Excuse me for saying," Laska spoke up. "But you guys are seriously weird."

"I could say the same for you," Haer'Dalis smiled, earning himself a glare from an angry elf.

"Our kind is quite common in the Sigil, which is our place of origin," Shai replied.

"The Sigil?" Dynaheir spoke up. "Impossible! That city is a myth!"

"No, it isn't," Viconia added. "The Sigil is quite real. I've never been there myself, but I have heard spelljammer-captains speaking of it. They must have had a great deal of trouble traveling this far."

"Aye, and that is why the gem is so important," Haer'Dalis smiled. "Ah...my ravens, there is a tale between us that is long overdue. Forgive me if I led you to believe that the gem was just a worthless bauble for the stage. In truth it is a planar jewel, a nexus between the Astral and the Prime Material Planes."

"You've got a what now?" Laska replied while she scratched her head.

"Few of you Primes would sense its presence, but Mekrath did and so it was that I fell into his keeping. Luckily, he had not rid himself of it before your timely rescue," Haer'Dalis muttered in reply. "Now, I only wish it had not taken you so long to deliver it in our keeping. Oh my, time is short and here I am to give a lecture on the nature of the multiverse."

"No, no... no, no, no!" Laska replied quickly. "I feel a headache coming on already, so 'what I don't know can't hurt me' can be taken literally here."

"I would be interested in hearing this," Dynaheir replied.

"As would I," Viconia replied.

"Tough!" Laska replied. "Let's save that one for another time."

"How did you end up in our plane, then?" Keldorn asked. "And, more to the point, why?"

"Well, all of this really goes back to a most unfortunate satirical play which we produced while in Sigil," Haer'Dalis smiled, while Raelis Shai was gathering her members of the Sigil troupe and started to chant over the gem. It shone bright blue in the dark room. "'A Comedy of Terrors,' it was called and the fact that the playwright wished to remain anonymous should have been sufficient clue to begin with. Little did we know that the sordid tale of lust between two certain planar beings might hold a mirror to the truth. Within hours the theatre was left in ruins and a price was placed upon our fleeing heads."

"HAR HAR!" Korgan laughed. "Don't ye sissies know that playin' with a tiger often leads to broken bones?"

"It was only the Lady of Pain, herself, Mistress of all Sigil, who through her unplumbed whimsy sent us careening through a portal to emerge where we are now, in this place you know as Amn," Haer'Dalis smiled. "This gem we detected was the key to returning home, but unfortunately, it already had an owner."

"So," Keldorn snarled. "You have made us thieves?! Beware the forked-tongue of this one, Laska. I did not detect his lies earlier when he told us Mekrath had stolen the item!"

"But the price upon your heads, is it not still there?" Jan asked. "It's hard to keep living with a load of bounty hunters on your neck, as my uncle Roderick found out when he stole Lord Prissy Pants' Golden Pantaloons. He had to have eyes in the back of his head. Quite literally, really. There was this witch he knew and..."

"Aye, my questioning hounds, one does not satirize Duke Rowan Darkwood, factol of the Fated, and expect to live a life of safety," Haer'Dalis smiled, interrupting the chatty gnome. "A wretched cambion hunts us as we speak and has apparently tracked us down to the Prime Material, and that is why we have to keep on the move."

"Haer'Dalis, everyone, gather round. The stone is ready to begin the summoning," Raelis said as she apparently prayed over the stone. "As the conduits open they will bring something with them. We will do what we can to hold off whatever beasts come, the better to determine which route be safest."

"Oy, laddies and lassies," Korgan called. "'Ere's where we be comin' in, right? Me axe is twitching fer some action!"

As said, they did. Laska and her friends took up defensive positions around the shimmering vortex that was slowly forming into the very air. So mesmerized were most party-members that they did not even notice the first imp flying out of the conduit. Dynaheir quickly dispatched it after twirling around her axis with her brand new staff-spear. Nobody even broke a sweat when the shadows and the fire-elementals followed. Then... it happened.

As the conduit gained maturity and has enough size for a human-sized creature to travel through, a cambion stepped out of the vortex. He was huge, over seven feet tall. The creature had large antler-like horns, and from his leather armor hang several sets of skulls belonging to a myriad of undefinable humanoids. "So, the fools have walked right into my trap," he spoke in a raspy voice, while the entire Sigil troupe looked on in fear. The cambion waved his hands and he, and the sigil troupe were suddenly yanked into the conduit, while the stunned party looked on.

"It just took them," Dynaheir muttered.

"This is an outrage!" Minsc shouted. "Will we just leave it at this? We are good and kindly heroes and we must rescue them. We can't just leave them to their fate. Who will tell the story of the dragon, the castle and the carrots now?"

"Are you suggesting we just jump in that portal, not knowing where we'll end up or even if would could get back?!" Viconia narrowed her eyes.

"Exactly!" Laska smiled and threw herself into the vortex.

"IDIOT!" Viconia shouted after her.