Summary: Somehow Twilight finds its way to Camelot and Gwen and Morgana end up on opposite teams. Warnings for crack and some mild Twilight bashing.
A/N: No, I don't hate Twilight. *shifty eyes* Who told you that?
Chapter 35: Why do vampires sparkle?
No one questioned anything as crazy old man Tim bought quills, ink and parchment for his nearly infinite amount of monkeys. After a bit of proof writing he dubbed the first thing the monkeys wrote as 'Twilight' and sold it as a 'book' on the market. He didn't think that anyone would actually read the pile of garbage and so he was delighted when the Lady Morgana paid handsomely after having read just the first chapter. Tim bought more ink and parchment for the money. This seemed like a good business idea...
"You have to read this, Gwen."
"What is it, my Lady?"
"Only the greatest romance to ever have been written." Morgana's eyes glittered dangerously. "You go ahead and read it while I change into something more appropriate"
"Gwaine," Arthur growled through his helmet. "Why are you shirtless again for the third time this week?!" Training in full armour had made him both testy and sweaty, but the knights needed to be able to fight in every condition and Arthur had to set an example.
"I get paid for finding a reason to remove it." Gwaine shrugged. "Tough work. Nothing you'd know about, princess."
"Let's get something to drink." Arthur removed his helmet and made for where Merlin was chatting with Morgana who was wearing a tight leather outfit. "Oh my God, Morgana has been corrupted by Cenred's evil ways! Quick, Merlin, we have to find a cure!"
Morgana glared at him. "I'm trying to be Bella, can't you see?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Arthur was confused. His confusion only increased when Gwen joined them and he saw the 'I love Edward' written on her dress. Merlin, Lancelot and now this? Arthur had had enough. "Who the hell is Edward?!"
"My one true love," Gwen sighed dreamily.
"I thought Arthur was your one true love," Merlin said nervously. He knew that Arthur was destined to marry Gwen and this didn't sound good at all.
"Please," Morgana butted in. "Everyone knows that Jacob is so much better. Team Jacob for life!"
"No, Team Edward."
"Name one thing Edward can do, that Jacob can't."
"He sparkles."
"Bah," Morgana said. "Who needs glitter when you can have abs?" Her eyes didn't leave Gwaine's abdomen. "Speaking of which, you can be my Jacob anytime you want, Sir Gwaine."
"Wait," Merlin said, "what if we make Arthur sparkle?"
Arthur gulped.
Gwen seemed to be considering the idea.
"I can get some glitter," Morgana said helpfully. "You know, Merlin, with those cheekbones you only need glitter and you can look like Edward too. I'll get some for the both of you."
The Prince and his manservant looked at each other. Then they both took off screaming, never to be seen again.