Beware y'all, this is a chapter of seemingly innocuous things that EXPLODE into SHIT GETTING EXTREMELY REAL in the next chapter or so. The shit, it will be so real. Like you don't even know.
Chapter Thirty-Four: You're the Doctor, Aren't You?
It turned out that I did need extra bed rest, according to Madam Pomfrey. I was in the bed next to Ana, which was lucky, because I could observe her sickness at a close range and then report back to my cousin about just how fine her daughter was. Of course, there was still a week to go until classes started again, so Severus hung out with me up in there most of the time. It was nice, too. I was feeling pretty lucid, despite the whole head injury thing, and I'd probably have been bored out of my skull alone. Ana seemed to get less scared of him in the whole process too, and she'd started referring to him as 'Bear', which made me laugh and made Severus scowl.
"Now, for letters!" I said loudly one day when Severus had finished making me swear that I would be more careful what I rammed my head into at high speeds. "Ana, I must write to your mother. Severus, you must help me, since you're not doing anything else."
"Speaking of letters," said Madam Pomfrey as she bustled into the room. "This came for you at breakfast, Professor Vialle. Since Professor Snape wasn't present I decided it was up to me to deliver it."
"Why weren't you at breakfast?" I asked Severus. Madam Pomfrey handed me the letter but I didn't open it just yet. Breakfast was awesome, I didn't know why Severus would have wanted to miss it. Think of the missed opportunities! The cereal! The toast. The post-breakfast celebratory margarita! One always needed a post-breakfast celebratory margarita to commemorate another successful breakfast.
"I was here," he said shortly. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Come here." He leant forward slightly, looking confused. I punched him hard in the arm, but not in a spousal abuse kind of way. I hoped he'd get a dead arm from that, though. "You need to learn to respect breakfast, Mr. I'm-too-good-for-cereal."
Severus glared at me, eyes widened, as he retreated back to his original seating position. "What on earth was that for?"
"Breakfast is king among foodstuffs."
"Breakfast is not a foodstuff."
"Breakfast is what I say it is."
At this, I turned away in a huff and tore open the letter. After telling Severus to either go and eat something or go and get divorce papers, I cast my eyes down to the letter.
Hey Raphaela,
You didn't tell me you were going back to Hogwarts so soon! I went around to your place for a visit before I went back to my own place but your mum said that you and Severus had gone. Oh well! Oh, and your mum seemed really disappointed that I wasn't wearing a knitted vest. I think her and my mum are in it together.
Let me know if you come back to London, I'll do pina coladas. I've enclosed the address for my place. Anyway, let me know.
Love, Eric
Well, that was sweet. I'd made a new friend, hurrah! A new friend who was genuinely excited to create beverages for me! This was going to be a super-sweet friendship, I could just tell. I pulled some parchment over towards the little desk thingy attached to the hospital bed but only managed to get out a Dear Eric before Severus returned. He swept into the room in a flurry of black and sat down where he had been before, a glare on his face.
"I have eaten a croissant. Are you happy now?" he snapped. I grinned.
"Ecstatic. Look, I got a letter from Eric!" I waved it about at him, and with an odd look on his face, he took it from my outstretched hand and perused it.
"Lovely," he said, sounding like it was anything but. I leant over the parchment in front of me and raised my quill, but it was no use. Severus had broken my train of thought. Not that I'd really had one to begin with, but I could still blame him.
"What should I write?" I asked, glancing at him in a pleading sort of a way. "I can't think of anything. I've just got 'Dear Eric'. I should put something after that, shouldn't I?"
"From Raphaela," he muttered, and I screwed up my nose at him.
"I think that traditionally, words go in between those two sentiments. Words that go together and form sentences."
"Traditionally, shutup."
I snorted. "What about… 'that sounds lovely, I'll be in the greater London area around Easter. See you then'?"
"I wasn't aware you were to be visiting your parents again at Easter," Severus muttered.
"Yeah, me neither. I am now though. Fun!"
"Beyond any measure."
"Want to come with? Do you like pina coladas? Or getting caught in the rain?"
"You are aware of my opinions regarding these things. Stop asking me."
"So that's a no."
"It's a no. I'm sure I'd just get in the way. He might get embarrassed and decide not to invite you to the prom after all."
"You're such a twat sometimes."
I heard a giggle from somewhere behind Severus and he turned in moderate surprise. In doing so, he shifted somewhat and I saw Ana smiling broadly at us from her hospital bed.
"You're jealous," she said, pointing at Severus.
"I most certainly am not," he said, bristling. I let out a bark of laughter.
Ana just smiled wider and turned to look at me. "You're doing it on purpose."
"What?" Well, what was the use of blood relation if she was just going to make accusations at me? We should have been a united front against Severus and his ways. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."
"Yes you do," she said, and she was still grinning. "You're making it sound kind-of-joking-not-really, because you know he won't take you seriously any other way."
"I am not," I protested, and ignored Severus' glares. "Why would I do that?"
"Because the only thing you love more than yelling at pigeons is making him squirm."
I pouted. "Fine. Since when did you turn into Dr. Phil anyway?"
"Who?" Severus said, still glaring at me. Ana, however, seemed to know what I meant, and shrugged.
"Not like I've got anything better to do than to listen to you two acting like you're normal people when you're both clinically insane."
"Anastasia Vialle!" I shot, trying to sound like some kind of a disciplinarian. That was what kids responded to, right? I had to do something like that, yes? "I am taken aback." Severus had stopped glaring at me and was instead looking incredibly affronted. That wouldn't do. We had to be in the same place, and affronted was the exact opposite of being taken aback. See, I made a funny. It was good in my head.
Severus peered at Ana for a moment before turning back to me. "The child is unnerving me. I think you've had enough of this 'bed rest' nonsense."
"I couldn't agree more," I said, kicking off the blankets and standing up. I had a head rush for a few moments, but I kept my ground and tried to be surreptitious as I stared at the bedside table while my vision tunnelled. "Knew there was a reason I, uh… I married you."
"Are you feeling alright?" Severus queried. I waved a hand dismissively in his direction and kept staring at the table, where the tunnel vision wasn't clearing. It was making my head throb right behind my eyes. Must have been a side-effect from lying down for days on end. I'd have to avoid that in future. Slowly, the throb started to subside and my vision cleared, and I stood up straight again and stared at Ana.
"Yes, Ana, you… um, I hope you learned a valuable lesson from all this. Goodbye." And with that, I took Severus by the elbow and walked swiftly out of the hospital wing, not giving that weird kid another glance.