I sat down to type this, thinking I'd have to force myself to finish it and before I knew it I had 7000 words.

Interrogation

"James, it's good to see you...did you and Greg have a nice visit?"

"No, actually."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Look, I hate to unload on you like this. I know you're probably very busy. But I just really need someone to talk to, and I don't know where else to go."

"That's fine. I have time. Is everything okay?"

"Well, no…it's not."

"In what sense?"

"It's about House."

"I kind of figured out that part already. What about him?"

"I've been visiting him twice a week and we speak on the phone almost every day. But I can't help feeling like he's being he's...distant."

"Distant how?"

"He's hiding things."

"What sort of things do you think he's hiding?"

"That's just it. I don't know."

"Then how do you know he's hiding something?"

"I just know."

"Okay..."

"I just...figured if something were going on, he might have told you about it."

"Do you think I could tell you if he had?"

"No, but…"

"..."

"Right. You're right. Thanks. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"Whoa...hold on. Sit down and relax for a minute. I can't tell you anything. But I can still listen to what you have to say."

"..."

"Just tell me what's going on. Talk to me."

"It's going to sound ridiculous."

"I doubt it."

"I'm afraid I'm losing him."

"Why?"

"He's pulling away from me. I can feel it."

"What makes you think he's pulling away?

"I don't know. It's little things. But something is wrong, something big. I know it and he knows that I know it. He actually confirmed it. He confirmed that he was hiding something. He asked me not to pry, asked me to just trust him…"

"Hmm…except that you don't."

"Is that so wrong?"

"It's not about right or wrong, James. Is it wrong for you to have difficulty trusting someone who has proven to be untrustworthy in the past? Absolutely not. But there comes a time when you have a choice between either trusting that person or losing them."

"When I found that lump on my testicle, he was the first person I told. Even if we hadn't been…involved, he would have been the first person."

"Okay. Why?"

"Because…because he's always been the first person I've told about everything."

"Not everything."

"Okay, not everything. But most things...the important things."

"You've hidden plenty of things from him over the years, some of them very important."

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"I don't know. House is…You know him. There are some things that he just can't handle. Some things he wouldn't understand. Some things…I'd rather not be subject to his scrutiny."

"Perhaps he feels the same way about you."

"I'm not...he doesn't care about my scrutiny."

"Why would you assume that?"

"I don't know."

"What do you know?"

"I know that something is going on and he won't tell me what it is."

"Okay. And how do you know that?"

"He told me last week that you ordered a full physical. A few days later he said that he was having some follow up tests done. But when I saw him again, he refused to tell me the results."

"So?"

"If he were fine, he'd tell me. Ergo..."

"So based on that logic, you're assuming that he's not fine."

"I asked him if it was his heart…he's about the right age for a bypass. He has established clotting issues. He doesn't eat right, you know. He'll eat cereal for every meal, if I let him. He still smokes, even though he promised to quit. He hardly exercises anymore…and it's got to be something serious if he would go to the trouble to actually see another physician..."

"James…stop. You're making yourself crazy over this."

"I wouldn't be, if he would just tell me what was going on, instead of making me speculate and guess."

"This is completely unnecessary anxiety."

"Is it?"

"Greg is an adult, and a very resourceful one at that. If by some chance there were something wrong with him, do you think that you knowing about it would make all the difference?"

"..."

"How exactly did you inquire about what was going on with Greg?"

"When he refused to tell me the results of his follow up tests, I asked him flat out what was going on. He told me to mind my own damn business. He wouldn't even tell me what the follow up tests were."

"I see. Did he seem angry about it, when you brought it up?"

"No...he just wouldn't tell me anything."

"And did you continue to pry, despite his request?"

"Yes."

"Has it occurred to you not to treat it like an interrogation?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You're going into it, knowing that he's hiding something. Your goal seems to be to find out what that something is."

"So?"

"So, I think you would be more successful if you changed your goal."

"To what?"

"Why don't you just ask him how he's feeling?"

"Like he'd tell me."

"Have you ever asked him before?"

"That's not...House doesn't talk about his feelings."

"Just what the hell do you think he and I have been doing for the past eleven months?"

"It's not the same thing."

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"You're his therapist."

"So?"

"..."

"Has he ever reacted well to you invading his privacy?"

"When have I invaded his privacy?"

"What about that letter you found in Greg's sock drawer?"

"..."

"You opened it and read it."

"It wasn't marked. There was nothing written on the outside. I had no way of knowing what was inside."

"Okay...but clearly Greg put the letter somewhere that he wasn't expecting you to look."

"So?"

"So that means he probably didn't intend for you to find it, let alone open it and read it."

"..."

"Why did you open it?"

"I was curious."

"And why did you insist on reading it to him, when you knew he had no desire to hear it?"

"I thought it was a nice letter. I thought...he needed to hear it."

"Is it true that sometime last year, you absconded with Greg's cell phone, discovered that he was seeing a psychiatrist, and then announced your finding in the hospital lobby, loudly enough for other people to hear?"

"It wasn't like that."

"What was it like then?"

"It wasn't...nobody heard what I said and even if they did, he does stuff like that all the time."

"Ah. Well that makes it okay then."

"..."

"I think your intentions are good, James. But whether it was your intention or not, you still invaded his privacy."

"..."

"So...again, has he ever responded well to you invading his privacy?"

"No. I guess not."

"Then why would this be any different?"

"I don't know."

"Look, you know that something is going on. You know I can't tell you what it is. You know he's not going to tell you what it is. That doesn't mean you can't ask him what he needs you to do in the meantime, to make whatever it is easier for him."

"Like he would admit to needing anything."

"You don't think he has needs?"

"I'm sure he does. I just don't think he'd tell me what they are."

"And you think I will?"

"If you know what's going on, why the hell can't you just tell me?"

"Because it would be illegal and unethical...because I have no desire to betray Greg's trust, in order to satisfy your curiosity. Because I'm confident that he will tell you when he's ready."

"What if he's never ready?"

"..."

"This isn't...he could be dying. He could have some horrible disease..."

"Let me tell you this much. It's nothing that you could do anything about, professionally or personally. It is however, something that he will need your support to endure. Perhaps the best thing you can do is to just reassure him that you don't need to know what's going on, that you will be there for him no matter what happens."

"He's hiding something from me, something important. It could be a matter of life and death. You don't think I have the right to be upset about that?"

"You definitely have the right to be upset about it. What you don't have the right to do, is assume that you're entitled to any specific information."

"..."

"Any information anyone discloses to you is a gift, something that they have to give you willingly. Whether or not they continue to extend their trust tends to be based solely on what you do with that initial information."

"..."

"Has Greg been able to trust you with information in the past?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You told Greg first about the lump you found on your testicle. That was a choice that you made, right?"

"Right."

"Why did you do that?"

"..."

"If you only did that, because you were hoping to use it as a bargaining chip later on, then you did it for the wrong reasons."

"Right. I'm the one with the problem here."

"I don't think anyone has a problem here."

"..."

"Did it occur to you that maybe Greg is protecting you?"

"Yes, that's so like him."

"..."

"Wait...are you saying he is?"

"I'm saying you should consider the possibility that he is."

"What the hell would he be protecting me from?"

"You don't handle trauma well. You don't handle loss well. You don't deal with stress well at all. He knows this. You being stressed out will only stress him out, which is why he's not telling you what's going on."

"Is he dying?"

"Not as far as I know."

"Would you tell me if he were?"

"Yes."

"You think he'd tell you if he were?"

"Yes, I do."

"But it is something?"

"Why do you need to know so badly?"

"I don't know."

"What do you think will happen if you don't find out?"

"..."

"Let's just say hypothetically that whatever this is, Greg manages it all by himself. He deals with it all and resolves it on his own, without ever consulting you at all. How would you feel about that?"

"I don't know..."

"Think about it for a second."

"Jilted, I guess."

"Why?"

"I...don't know."

"I think you might want to figure that out, before you take this any further."

"I suppose you already know."

"Well, I have theories. But they're probably biased."

"That's okay."

"You desire to control the outcome of everything. You think that by taking the right measures, you can avoid anything unpleasant. You think that by taking the right measures, you can help your loved ones to avoid anything unpleasant."

"..."

"You have a history of denying that something is happening, until you have no choice but to deal with it. Then you shut down and systematically alienate everyone and everything that forces you to confront whatever issue it is that you're avoiding. It's why you distanced yourself from Greg after Amber died. Because you knew that looking at him would only remind you of what you'd lost."

"..."

"You need to face the fact that some things are out of your control, that even if you do everything right, you could still lose."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"..."

"What would you do if Greg were dying?"

"I thought you said he wasn't."

"He's not, technically. Technically, we're all dying. But I'm curious as to how you'd handle that."

"I don't know. It's not something I've given a lot of thought to."

"Why not?"

"I've...who the hell thinks about that?"

"I think you've avoided dealing with the real root of your problems here, which is the fact that you're terrified of losing him."

"Well, of course I'd be upset. I just don't see the point in dwelling on it..."

"I'm not saying you should dwell on it. I'm saying you should look it in the face and shake its hand. Because when the time does come, you're going to be lost."

"This is...something is going on and he's lying to me about it."

"Why are you focusing on that? Why is it so important?"

"..."

"And he's not lying. You said he admitted to you that something was going on, right?"

"Yeah."

"And he's just choosing not to tell you what it is."

"So it's a lie of omission."

"James..."

"Yes, okay? I'm terrified of losing him. He's...my entire life is wrapped around him. If he died, it would be like losing a part of myself. I'd rend my garments and cover myself in ashes and probably spend the rest of my life mourning him. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Has it ever occurred to you to just tell him those things?"

"..."

"Why not?"

"He'd...laugh, or mock me, or worse."

"I seriously doubt it."

"House is...you know him."

"Yes, I do. Do you? Because sometimes I wonder."

"..."

"Here's what I think you should do...and you're welcome to decline. I think you should tell him that it doesn't matter what's going on with him. Tell him that you will respect his privacy and that you hope he will eventually be able to share what's going on with you. Tell him that you'll be there for him in the meantime, in whatever capacity he needs you to be."

"I...can't even imagine how he'd react to that."

"Only one way to find out."

"..."

"I also think this would be a great opportunity for you to demonstrate how much you trust Greg. You need to trust him to handle this on his own, and have the security of knowing that he will share the details with you when the time is right."

"..."

"Okay?"

"Yeah...okay."

"Look...I don't usually do this."

"Do what?"

"Do you have a minute?"

"Of course."

"Because Greg is my patient and you and I have our own a personal history, I've become way more implicated in your lives than I ever intended. I feel like I've crossed some necessary boundaries."

"I'm sure we're both fine with that. I am, at least."

"I know that you are and he probably is too, to some degree. But that doesn't necessarily make it healthy. I don't want the degree of my involvement in your lives to jeopardize his recovery or your relationship."

"It won't"

"Okay. I'll just cut to the chase. Greg is…well he's asked me to discuss a few things with you. I was actually going to do this over the phone. But since I've got you here, I think now is a good time."

"What kind of things?"

"Subjects that he himself finds it difficult to breach."

"Really?"

"You sound surprised."

"I just never thought of House as someone who has…difficulty discussing things."

"Interesting. Why not?"

"He just...I don't know. He tends to be rather blunt."

"When it's about someone else, not when it's about himself. He is in fact, an intensely private person."

"True."

"..."

"What exactly is it that he wants me to know?"

"Well, let me just start by asking you a question."

"Okay."

"How you feel about his addictions and his addiction recovery?"

"How do I feel about it? I don't know. His addiction has kind of taken over his life. Hell, it's taken over my life."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"How do I feel about it?"

"Yes."

"I guess...I used to be angry, frustrated. Now I'm sort of...ambivalent."

"Why ambivalent?"

"I guess I've attempted to emotionally distance myself from House's drug and alcohol related issues."

"Why?"

"Because it's stressful. Because...I don't know. I'd probably end up strangling him otherwise."

"You know that Greg has been clean for eight weeks now."

"Yeah."

"And from your expression I'd say you're doubting that he'll stay that way."

"I don't want to doubt him. I want to believe that it will work this time. It's just…up until now, it hasn't worked."

"I think he's very serious about his sobriety this time."

"Why? Why now and not a few months ago? What's different this time?"

"We've been able to confront some issues that we failed to address before. And he admitted that he wasn't really giving one hundred percent."

"And he is now?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Okay."

"But you still have doubts."

"You have no idea."

"Then give me an idea. What is it that you think I need to know?"

"The last time he was in rehab, three years ago, he paid an orderly to bring him Vicodin."

"I know that."

"Before he came back here, I caught him drinking cough syrup and mouthwash. And he was abusing over the counter allergy medication. He was taking diphenhydramine by the mouthful. I caught him swallowing fifteen twenty-five milligram tablets at once. That's like...five to ten times the recommended dosage. I'm surprised he didn't drop dead right there on the spot."

"I know about those things as well."

"He told you?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you that he'd stashed pills all over the loft? I even found some in an ice cube tray."

"Yes."

"Did he tell you that he got some GP at Princeton General to write him a script for Xanax?"

"Hmm...no, he did not mention that."

"He was using them in addition to the script you'd written him."

"I guess I'll have to ask him about that, then."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"That he lied to you."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I assume he had his reasons. I doubt they have anything to do with me. It would be pointless of me to take it personally. And therapy isn't about extracting information from your patients. It's about creating an environment in which they'd feel safe to disclose that information willingly."

"It's just...I don't think you realize what he's capable of, when he's desperate."

"Well, I know enough to understand why you'd develop such a viewpoint. I don't need to know everything to get a decent picture of the situation."

"I guess."

"It's safe to say that you've been actively enabling Greg's addictions for quite some time. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes."

"What steps do you plan to take to change that?"

"Well, I'm not prescribing for him anymore. We've decided that he needs to choose another doctor to be his primary care physician."

"Okay. That's a good start. What else?"

"I've quit drinking. I wasn't that heavy a drinker to begin with. But I thought it would just be easier not to have it around."

"An admirable sacrifice on your part. What else?"

"I don't know what else. What else is there?"

"I think the best thing you can do to encourage him to stay clean is find some way to reinforce his positive behavior."

"Meaning?"

"Let him know how proud you are of his recovery. Every day he manages to stay sober is an accomplishment and that needs to be constantly reinforced. He may appear indifferent to his sobriety. But that's a facade. He needs to hear that he's doing the right thing. He needs to hear it regularly. So you should focus on what he's doing right and not what he's doing wrong and try to refrain from passing any sort of judgment on him."

"I don't pass judgment on him."

"Really? You judged him just a moment ago."

"I didn't...I was making an observation."

"About his moral character, based on his addiction related behaviors."

"Am I not supposed to make observations?"

"No, you absolutely can. But you need to remind yourself that we are not our behavior. We are not the sum of our flaws and mistakes. Greg should have the freedom to fail and the assurance that you will still be there when he does, that you're not just going to walk away when things start getting tough."

"He has...abandonment issues."

"He fears that everyone he cares about will eventually leave him. He views this as an inevitability. That is a belief that only time can repair."

"How much time?"

"Are you in some kind of hurry?"

"No. I just..."

"It would be unfair of you to disregard the fact that you are responsible for at least a small percentage of that fear."

"Why, because I left after Amber died?"

"Not just that. But yes."

"I've apologized. We've...talked about it."

"I know. But the damage has not been magically undone."

"So you're saying it's my fault that House can't trust anyone?"

"I'm saying it's possible that you contributed to that. Chances are, he already had those issues to begin with. All you did was reinforce his belief that no one can be trusted and that everyone is out for themselves."

"Right."

"I'm not scolding you, James. I'm just trying to equip you with tools to make this relationship work."

"..."

"Moving on to the next topic that he wanted us to discuss. Can I ask...how much do you know about Greg's relationship with his father?"

"Not much."

"What do you know?"

"Well, the man died last year and House barely batted an eye. His mother called me to make sure he attended the funeral, because House apparently wasn't planning on going."

"Had you ever met Greg's father?"

"A handful of times. A couple of years ago, he and his wife had a layover in Newark and dropped in to see House. I spoke to his mother on the phone on several occasions."

"Why do you think it was so important to you, that Greg make it to the funeral?"

"I just..."

"What?"

"This is going to sound incredibly petty. But I'd recently lost Amber. I thought maybe House would have a better understanding of my grief if he was confronted with his own."

"Did it occur to you that Greg might have had a reason for not wanting to go?"

"Sure, that occurred to me. But I didn't see why that should matter. The man was dead. It's not like they were going to be arguing. All he had to do was show up, give a quick speech and go home. Hardly a great sacrifice."

"Well, first let me say that what people consider to be traumatic is relative."

"Uh...okay."

"How trauma affects us is relative. And there were some aspects to Greg's childhood that were in fact quite traumatic, things that would explain him not wanting to see his father, whether he was dead or alive."

"I imagine that his father was...strict."

"Define strict."

"Well, he was in the military. I assume that lifestyle was rather rigid. And House is...not one who takes well to rules and boundaries."

"I see."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, Greg's given me permission to disclose some things."

"What kind of things?"

"Well the first is that his father was, for lack of a more appropriate term, abusive."

"Abusive how?"

"He wants me to be...as vague as possible."

"So be as vague as possible."

"Mostly it was excessive corporal punishment. But there was also verbal abuse. There was a lack of emotional support, a lack of affection, a lot of discouragement. Greg's father would sometimes punish him in ways that were unnecessary and could be interpreted as...cruel."

"Like how?"

"Are you sure you really want to know?"

"How bad is it?"

"I'll let you be the judge of that."

"Alright."

"Greg has given me permission to tell you that on at least one occasion, he was expected to sleep outside in the yard and that he was once submerged in a tub of ice water."

"Oh...my God. How old was he when that happened?"

"I don't recall the exact ages. I only know they were two separate incidents."

"Wait...and he just told you about these things?"

"No, not right away. It took some trust building, before he was willing to disclose that information. I'm actually a little uncomfortable being the one to share this with you. But he asked me to and I know that he probably doesn't possess the ability to do so on his own.

"I had no idea."

"I figured as much."

"I mean, I've known him for seventeen years and he never once mentioned it. He barely mentioned his parents at all. Maybe if I'd known..."

"What difference do you think it would have made if you had known?"

"I...have no idea."

"How do you feel, now that you do know?"

"I don't know. House is...I mean, wow. It certainly explains a lot. But...I don't know."

"Do you think maybe you could apologize to Greg, for forcing him attend his father's funeral?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I don't understand what that's designed to accomplish."

"It's designed to communicate regret and facilitate closure."

"But...I don't regret it."

"Explain."

"Because I didn't know any better. At the time, based on the information I had, making House attend the funeral seemed like the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do."

"But you later learned that it wasn't the right thing to do and Greg was still deeply affected by that misunderstanding."

"I honestly thought he seemed fine with it."

"Really. He seemed fine with it."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"He was fine with being drugged and kidnapped, with having his cane, Vicodin and cell phone taken from him while he was still unconscious. He was fine with being forced to urinate in a bottle, instead of using the toilet at a rest stop."

"Okay...you're making this into way more than it was. I never actually made him use the bottle. We stopped to use a public restroom, twice. I gave him back his pills, his cane and his phone. He still went to the funeral. He even gave the eulogy. If he really didn't want to do either of those things, I'm sure he'd have found some way to stop us from getting there."

"Like...throwing the keys to your car in the sewer?"

"..."

"And trying to get you arrested?"

"I would never have told you those things if I'd known they were going to be used against me. I mean, Daryll...seriously. I'm telling you, it wasn't as bad as he probably made it sound."

"I have not found Greg to be someone who exaggerates or embellishes things, in order to garner sympathy."

"Well then you haven't known him long enough."

"So you don't think the fact that Greg was willing to go to such extremes was enough of an indicator of how reluctant he might have been to attend the funeral?"

"You don't get it. House...does that kind of stuff every day. Everything he does is in the extreme. And it was never my goal to traumatize him. You're acting like I tortured him, tied him up and beat on him like a piñata. All I did was deliver him to his father's funeral."

"What you intended is irrelevant. What matters is how it made Greg feel."

"How about how I feel?"

"How do you feel?"

"House was a pain in the ass during that entire trip. I could have lost my keys in that sewer drain, I mean permanently. They weren't just my car keys either. We both could have been seriously injured when he pulled that stunt in the car and we could have easily detained for more than just a few hours at the police station."

"So again, don't you think the fact that Greg was willing to go to such extremes was a reflection of how reluctant he might have been to attend his father's funeral?"

"I...didn't really think about it."

"Why not?"

"Because...House never showed any interest in his family, not during the entire time that I've known him. It seemed natural that he'd be reluctant to attend the funeral."

"So at no point during your relationship did you theorize about why Greg might not be interested in his family."

"I don't know."

"You never even speculated?"

"House...alienates people. He's abrasive and rude. He has very few interpersonal relationships."

"So you were operating on the assumption that Greg's estrangement from his parents was a result of his own character flaws and not theirs."

"Yes, if that's what you want to hear. I did."

"Not an unreasonable assumption. But now you know that wasn't the case."

"..."

"I really think it would benefit you both if you apologized for that misunderstanding."

"Fine."

"Is it really?"

"No. I mean, I still don't understand what the hell I'm apologizing for. But I'll say I'm sorry, if you think it will help."

"I don't want you to just say it. I want you to be genuinely sorry, not for taking him to the funeral necessarily, but for how that made him feel."

"Why?"

"Because I can't imagine that he was unaware of your point of view regarding his relationship with his parents. He said that he made an attempt to share with you why he might be reluctant to attend the funeral and that you, in so many words, expressed sympathy for his mother and father and told him that he was the one with the problem."

"I never said that."

"What did you say?"

"I said...I'm assuming that you know his dad isn't his real dad, right?"

"Yes. We've covered that in great detail."

"Apparently when House was twelve or so, he thought it would be a good idea to approach his father about this. He said that when he did, his father didn't speak to him for the rest of the summer."

"And you think that a grown man ignoring his son for three months is an appropriate response to whatever it was that Greg might have said?"

"Hey...I don't know. I just know that if my son came to me and told me that I wasn't his real father, I would probably be...hurt and offended. That's what I told him."

"What if you weren't his father?"

"The man raised him. He was probably well aware that House wasn't his biological child. Rubbing it in his face was...unnecessary."

"Why do you assume that Greg rubbed it in his father's face?"

"I don't know."

"What are you basing that on?"

"..."

"How do you think Greg might have felt about your assessment of his father son relationship?"

"He didn't appear to be offended."

"You mean at the time."

"Yes."

"But you know now that he actually was."

"Yeah."

"So...again, do you think you might be willing to apologize...genuinely?"

"I guess."

"Glad to hear it."

"..."

"And don't think I won't follow up with you about this either, because I will."

"I'm sure."

"..."

"Is that all you wanted to discuss with me?"

"Uh...no. There's one more thing, well two actually. But I'll make it fast because I have an appointment in twenty minutes and I need to review their chart first."

"Okay."

"I want to know how you're coping with your girlfriend's death."

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Are you uncomfortable discussing this topic?"

"No...I'm fine discussing it. I'm just curious as to why you're asking."

"Is it true that you have photographs of Amber up all over your apartment?"

"I have...some pictures of Amber up in the apartment."

"How many?"

"I couldn't give you an exact integer."

"Estimate."

"Five, six?"

"Can I ask why?"

"Why what?"

"I mean, why do you have those pictures up?"

"I need a reason to hang up pictures of people that I care about?"

"How many pictures of Greg do you have hanging in your apartment?"

"None."

"..."

"But that's because of me. It's because he hates having his picture taken. Even the picture on his hospital ID is ten years old."

"I see. Have you given any thought to how it might make him feel, being forced to stare at the face of a woman who would still be alive if not for him?"

"He certainly hasn't mentioned it."

"I think we've established the problem with that logic. Do you have any reason to believe that he would openly communicate with you about something that was bothering him?"

"He has before. But not generally, no."

"He's mentioned it to me, several times."

"Mentioned what?"

"The pictures of Amber that you have on display."

"Great."

"Do you think Greg is sorry about what happened to Amber?"

"He said he was."

"Which implies that maybe you don't believe him."

"It's not that I don't believe him."

"Alright."

"I just...I don't know. I was still grieving when I came back from my bereavement."

"How long was your bereavement?"

"Eight weeks."

"That's a long enough period of time to adjust to a major life change, or at least to the point at which it would not longer be debilitating."

"House's immediate response to my grief was to mock me for it."

"I'm not sure in what way he mocked you. But I can tell you what I think his goal might have been."

"Okay."

"He was subconsciously hoping that by minimizing your grief, you would actually refrain from grieving. If he didn't take it seriously, then it was more likely that you wouldn't either."

"Sounds...plausible."

"The truth is, Greg is carrying a heavy load right now, one that he can't seem let go of. I think you might be of some help in that department."

"How?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this at all, because it indirectly violates confidentiality. But I can confidently tell you that Greg is most definitely sorry. He feels terrible. He continues to feel terrible every day. I can't help thinking that having pictures of your girlfriend hanging in your home is only exacerbating his guilt, and making it impossible for him to heal and move on."

"I'm supposed to just get over my girlfriend's, in order to make his life easier."

"You should get over it because you've had more than enough time to get over it."

"Right."

"And what you're doing now, isn't healthy."

"Just what is it that you think I'm doing?"

"Is it true that you sometimes converse out loud with your dead girlfriend?"

"..."

"Have I upset you?"

"No..."

"You definitely look upset to me."

"..."

"Tell me what you're feeling."

"He had no right to divulge that information."

"I certainly think he did."

"Why? It's none of his business. It's none of your business."

'He was convinced that he was hallucinating for three days."

"Yeah, he told me."

"At the time?"

"No. Right before my surgery."

"So you realize that he was overhearing you talking to Amber and mistaking it for an auditory hallucination."

"I do now."

"Have you ever hallucinated?"

"No."

"Never experimented with psychedelics?"

"I dropped acid once and the experience was fairly unmemorable."

"Well it's...pretty scary. Losing touch with reality is scary."

"You're saying I traumatized him by talking to my dead girlfriend? Give me a break."

"I didn't say he was traumatized. But he was definitely affected."

"..."

"Why are you so reluctant to view Greg as a human being?"

"I don't even know how to respond to that."

"What I mean is, you seem oblivious to the possibility that he has fears, weaknesses and vulnerabilities. The idea that he could be hurt or offended by something you've said or done is completely foreign to you. Yet you have no trouble believing that you or either of Greg's parents are capable of being hurt or offended."

"..."

"I'm wondering why that is."

"I don't know."

"Do you still talk to Amber?"

"..."

"You're uncomfortable discussing this."

"Yeah, I am."

"It's been almost two years since she passed."

"So? Is there some kind of statute of limitations on grief?"

"Actually there is. In the mental health field, we tend to gauge recovery according to how long you knew the person. If you get divorced, it should take as many months for you to get over it, as years you were married. The same applies to death."

"By that logic, I should have gotten over Amber in a matter of days."

"I'm concerned about the rate at which you're grieving. You should have been further along by now. And you're in a new relationship already. The fact that you can't let go of the past sends the message to Greg that he is not good enough to fill the void that Amber's death left you with."

"That's ridiculous. Why the hell would he think that?"

"Because you feel the need to decorate a home that you share with pictures of your dead girlfriend."

"Are you saying I should have to take them down?"

"I'm saying you should want to take them down."

"And you think there's something wrong with me, because I don't."

"I think you're having a hard time getting over that loss. The problem is, you're not alone anymore."

"..."

"Would you consider a compromise?"

"Like what?"

"Like...picking out your favorite picture of her, and taking down the rest. Like making a point of getting a picture of Greg and hanging it up as well?"

"Well that's going to be a challenge."

"Why?"

"I don't have any pictures of him. I think I may have some candid shots of him from my second wedding."

"How about the two of you get your picture taken together?"

"I doubt he'd go for that."

"You'd be surprised."

"..."

"You look overwhelmed, James."

"I guess I kind of am."

"I know this was an awful lot of information to drop on you all at once."

"It's...I'm still processing. But I'll manage."

"How are you feeling about the things we discussed?"

"I honestly don't know."

"..."

"I think maybe...you're right."

"Right about what?"

"Maybe I don't know him as well as I thought I did."

"I see."

"..."

"It's not too late to change that though."

"..."

"Do you want to change it?"

"Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I?"

"I think we should talk about what that means, exactly."

"Okay."

"If you want to change your relationship with Greg for the better, you're both going to have to commit to making it work."

"I can see how that would constitute a change for him. But how is that different than what I'm already doing?"

"It's a lot different than what you're already doing. You're going to have to be willing do some serious emotional labor and engage in a whole lot of introspection. You're going to have to take the time to examine issues and ideas that you've avoided thus far, because they make you uncomfortable."

"I thought this was about getting House better, helping him beat his addictions."

"And you don't think you're tied into that?"

"..."

"You're a couple now, James. And Greg cannot and will not grow or change as a person, if you refuse to do the same."

"..."

"Are you prepared to grow and change as a person?"

"I...don't know."

"Why not?"

"..."

"What is it exactly that you're so apprehensive about?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Is this important to you?"

"Is what important to me?"

"Your relationship with Greg."

"Of course."

"Then you will figure it out."

Apparently someone was offended by something that was said by Dr. Nolan in this particular chapter. I won't say what it was, since it's basically irrelevant. Frankly I was thoroughly amused to discover that they were even reading the story to begin with.

But I just wanted to make it clear, since there seems to be some confusion, that I am not a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a physician of any sort. I have a great deal of knowledge and some education in those areas. I have also done many hours of volunteer counseling. But I am not actually licensed to practice in the field of mental health.

Therefore I find that I need to remind people (although I would have thought it was painfully obvious) that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take ANYTHING that you see here in this story (or any of my stories for that matter) and feel compelled to apply it to your own life. This is just fiction.

I'll repeat it one last time for the special needs section of the class: THIS IS FICTION.