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It was so easy, like there was no communication needed as they closed in on the two men who had no idea they were already dead.
Owen wanted to count crow, letting his head fall back to roar as the others ran through the rows to see, whooping as Warrior cries filled the dale.
"Right. What now? Not like they are not going to be missed" Owen huffed and Ianto looked over at Jack.
"Well, we send them back. I see one of them came by horseback, even if the others came by bike. Put their heads in a bag?" Ianto shrugged. "The horse can carry them."
"Cold" Hemi said gleefully, "I wanna cut one off."
"Savages the lot of you" Ianto said, letting himself relax, "This is definitely gonna start a war."
"Babe, they started it coming here and killing one of us" Jack replied, "They want to Parlay, they can come and ask politely. Maybe we won't eat them alive."
"Look, that was a long time ago" Judge huffed, "We don't eat people anymore."
"Huh?" Owen turned to look at him with shock.
"Seriously, been over a hundred years since we've done that" Judge said firmly, "Mind, tastes like pork ya know."
"Yeah, first time I tasted pork I thought I had been fed the wrong plate" Jack laughed, "Almost caused a fight."
"Good gods" Hemi sighed, "Shit. Roger. This is not gonna be nice."
"Come on, let's get these bodies back … Owen, we are not really cutting their heads off" Ianto sighed as he watched Owen trying to manoeuvre around a body.
"Maybe just one?"
"Stop it" Ianto scolded, pulling the little man into a hug, "Come on, they need you with Roger. I know no one really liked him but they will do the right thing. We will be along, OK?"
Owen puffed and nodded, knowing the return of the men without the three of them would cause a conniption, he had more chance of calming the others before they declared a war. Something Owen never wanted to see was the peace loving community flip a switch, he got the idea they might be fucking scary.
From what he could gather, Ianto would be front and centre with his spear high.
That might be kinda cool to watch. "I wanna back you up!"
The others went back with the body of their tribesman as Ianto, Jack and Owen started to move in the direction the tracks led, towards where the men had come from and as they moved they each felt the return of their Torchwood training, the second nature to check one another as well as themselves as they slid into the foliage either side of the track, now invisible to anyone coming looking. The horse carrying a body did not like this fact but Ianto's gentle hand on its flank seemed enough for it to continue to move forward, their horses carrying bodies as well. A bulldozer with stealth mode.
It was about an hour of silence then the first wave came, two in bikes pulling trailers. Right, come to collect the first of the harvest are they? Owen watched Ianto explode from one side as Jack did form the other, then he ran to stop the bikes before they ran off the road, one almost toppling as he sniggered and giggled with adrenalin.
He went back to find the men down, but unharmed as Jack spoke to them quietly, almost conversationally. "You tell your head honcho that we are keeping the bikes as payment for breach of contract. Our people and your people had an agreement to leave each other alone. The others? They are dead. We will place their bodies here for you to take with you, as they are heavy you can have a trailer, I am sure the two of you can pull it back to your land, right?"
One blinked up owlishly as the other one spoke, "He will want your heads for this."
"Ah, well the problem was that he did want our heads. Unfortunately that is our crop and those heads are the best quality we have ever seen. You tell him that the only heads he will get are those of any of his men we catch on our land. The tribe that lives here may be peace loving hippies but we are a different kettle of fish. In this little pond? We are fucking sharks." Jack spoke with a wide grin like it was funny, "So you two can be the lucky two that are allowed to live. Anyone else…. Meat helmets. If he doesn't believe us … try me. Because me and mine will wipe you out. OK?"
"Who the fuck are you" one spat as they watched the bodies get loaded on a trailer, Owen already claiming one of the bikes.
It was Ianto who answered, the only time he spoke and it was his voice they recalled later with its deep melodic tone and strange twist to the vowels.
"You tell yours that we are Torchwood and we belong to this dirt" his face was so ... serene as he canted his head and became maleficent "And this Tanewha will kill to protect it. Every time."
They didn't look back until they were at the entrance ot their land, both hearing their pounding hearts like they were footfalls of something chasing them.
Fuck.