"This is a pretty high-tech lair." Max sat beside Chloe and looked around the converted garage. Everything that Chloe needed was here. Her parents had spent a pretty fortune on the room. The centrepiece was her bed, high-tech in itself, with controls to raise the back to allow Chloe to sit up unattended. Her hoist was nearby, together with what looked like automatic medicinal dispensers. A computer sat in one corner, with a lovely HD television and DVD player in front of the bed, on top of a cupboard filled with DVDs.
"Feels like a high-tech cell most of the time. But I'm lucky my parents bust their ass to take care of me. I know it's hard for them. I know just how hard it is for them."
"They're grateful you are here with them, Chloe."
"Right. Especially when they can't even take a walk on their own."
"Well, they can now that I'm here."
"Max, I told you, I don't want your pity or charity."
"Chloe, it's not like that. I'm not here because I feel guilty, or to make amends. I mean, I do feel guilty, but I'm here because you're my best friend and I've really missed you, Chloe. And if my being here can take some of the pressure off Joyce and William, then I'm glad to be here. I want you to know that you can rely on me, Chloe. I'm here for you."
"I don't want to be a both…"
"Chloe Elizabeth Price. Do not even finish that sentence. I'm here because I want to be. Okay?"
"Max, when did you learn to be assertive?" Chloe laughed.
"When you learned to be so stubborn, I guess."
"Touché."
"I have a question for you now, Chloe, if you don't mind."
"Ask away, Max."
"What's it like?"
"What's what like?"
"You know. Being you. Being… well, paralysed. What?" Max frowned at Chloe's laughing.
"No, I'm not laughing at you, Max," she said, in between bouts of giggling. "It's just, nobody's ever asked me that before."
"Really?"
"Really. I think it's because people think that they'd hurt my feelings, or just feel awkward. You know, if they ignore the wheelchair it might go away. Or perhaps people think that paralysis might be contagious if they talk about it. I don't know."
"Contagious?" Max giggled.
"Yeah. Like, I've had a while to think about these things." Chloe laughed again. "I'd have put good money on you being the first one to bring it up. That's why I was laughing."
"So, what's it like?"
"Well, I guess the first thing to say is that I'm paralysed. Yeah, like, I know that much is obvious, right? But people think that because my limbs don't work, I'm retarded or some shit like that. There is nothing wrong with my brain. Just as sharp as it ever was. Probably more so now, because I spend a lot of time just thinking about shit. Okay, I can read, I can talk and I can think."
"I know."
"Yeah. But you'd be surprised the number of people who don't. I'm in a wheelchair, so I'm automatically treated like some retarded kid. It sickens me. And people fucking pat me all the time. Like, hello? Have you ever heard of personal fucking space? I fucking hate being patted. I can't feel it and it just feels so fucking condescending. And people think they can just adjust me or re-arrange my blanket without asking, either. That fucking boils my blood as well, Max."
"Noted."
Chloe laughed. "You're different, Max. You have my permission to do whatever you want. I know you won't abuse it. And I know you like to hold my hand. You can do that, Max, I don't mind. Even if I can't feel it, I can feel it in here." She looked down at her chest and Max looked away, blinking her eyes again. A few moments later, she turned back to Chloe and very deliberately, she took her left hand and raised it to her lips. It felt warm and she kissed it tenderly, all the while watching Chloe, looking deep into her friend's eyes. "See, that's what I mean, Max," said Chloe. "I couldn't feel that, but I saw in your eyes what that meant to you, and that I can feel. Thank you."
"You're welcome," murmured Max. "So, go on."
"Well, what do you want to know? It took me a while to get used to, but it's basically total helplessness. I can't do anything. And I mean anything without help. I can't eat, I can't drink. If I want my ear scratched, I have to suffer until someone's in earshot and I can ask them to scratch it. I can't move, I can't go to the toilet without help. I can read, but I need someone to turn the pages for me as most of my favourite books aren't in audio format."
"Would you like me to read to you?" Max asked. "I'd totally be cool doing that."
"Would you do the voices, too? You were never very good at that."
"I'd try. Anything to help you, Chloe, or to make your life a little more bearable."
"I'll probably take you up on that, Max. Do you remember, when we were younger? Remember how we talked about being paralysed?"
"I… don't remember that, Chloe."
"Well, I do. I guess it sticks in my head now. Well, I remember imagining that it would be like being encased in stone. You know, unable to move. But it turns out, I was totally wrong. It's not like that at all. I've had a while to think about it, and the best I can do is this. Try telling a cat to leave the room. The cat will ignore you. That's what it's like. I tell my right hand to move, but it ignores me. My limbs have turned into uncooperative alien pets. They just don't understand my language and they're not really interested in what I want."
"Wow, you've really thought about this."
"Not a great deal else to do, Max. I spend a lot of time thinking. Reflecting on shit, like what it means to be human. Standing up and walking are two pretty fundamental things that people take for granted. Not having those abilities kind of makes me feel less than human, sometimes. Can't get around that."
"Chloe…"
"And I don't complain. Well, not too much. It won't help anything, it won't solve anything except to make my parents feel bad, and then I feel guilty for acting up. You know, sometimes I do act like a total teenage brat just to give them an excuse to yell at me. Get rid of some of their rage." She laughed a short, barking laugh. "Pathetic. I know."
"Chloe, you're a great daughter. You're kind and sensitive, even when you don't have to be."
"Trust me, I still get my rage on. Especially when a nurse has to watch while I take a dump, so she can wipe my bum. Or when the doctors flip me around like I was a science doll."
"I can't even imagine." Max dropped her head and wiped her eyes, which were tearing up again. "But you're still amazing, Chloe. You always have been. Since we were kids. And you're my best friend."
"Thanks again for coming, Max. I, uh… I'm thirsty. I need to get my drink on. Could you, uh…"
"Of course, Chloe." Max handed Chloe the bottle of water next to the bed and Chloe slurped it, smiling as she did so.
"Thanks, Max. No wonder my throat is dry. I don't think I've talked this much the whole year."
"Have you thought about doing a podcast or something?"
"A podcast? I wish I could punch your face right now. Dude, I am just a pod. In a cast. Boring."
"Sorry. It was just a thought."
"I know you're just trying to help, Max."
"Yeah. That's become a bad habit of mine."
"You sound like an adult now. It seems like we were kids in another life."
"Or time. Yeah. So, what do you remember about us as kids? We all have different memories."
"I think about us as little pirates, running and jumping through Arcadia Bay."
"Me too. But, we're still pirates in our own way."
"Yeah, right. Check me out. Chloe of the Caribbean. No way I'll ever get on a fucking boat now." She looked up at Max and smiled. A genuine smile that touched Max and brought yet more tears to her eyes. "Unless you're with me."
"Always, Chloe."
"As you can see, I'm pushed for space here. I can't keep all my other friends away."
"Who did you used to hang out with?"
"Megan."
Max furrowed her brow. "Don't think I know her."
"You wouldn't. She was cool. For a while. After the accident, she was too cool for school." Chloe nodded toward her noticeboard. "Check out the card there." Max rose and walked to the cork noticeboard. She found the card Chloe was talking about, a postcard entitled 'Thinking of You.' On the back was a hastily scribbled note.
Dear Chloe. I am so sorry for what happened. Know that I am here for you if you need anything. I hope you feel better and I hope to see you again. Xoxo Megan.
Next to it was another card.
Chloe, you know we love you and you're in our hearts and thoughts. We hope to see your smiling face soon. Please be well. Ryan and Vanessa Caulfield.
And next to that, pride of place, was a short letter.
Chloe, just thought I'd drop you a quick note to let you know I'm thinking about you. I feel so lame writing shit like 'I hope you are well.' Etc. I know your life is so different now and I don't want that to get in the way of our friendship. Yes, I haven't been around lately, but that will change soon. 'I hope you are well.' Love, Max.
Her letter was accompanied by one of Max's selfies, a cheeky shot of her on a beach in her HawtDawgMan T-Shirt, making the peace sign at the camera.
Wait, didn't I see a cuddly HawtDawgMan over there?
Max looked around and found what she was looking for. Over by the television, a cuddly toy sat, next to the old teddy bear. It was a replica of the design on Max's t-shirt from the photograph. The HawtDawgMan, complete with chest mustard squiggle. It brought a smile to Max as she recognised Chloe's attempts to get closer to her best friend. Tears threatened again and she wiped her eyes, sitting down with Chloe once more.
"Kind of a generic card, Chloe."
"Yeah. I hope you feel better? Yeah, like that's going to happen. That's a perfect example of the way people are around me. They have no idea what to say or do, like I'm to be treated like a fucking ticking bomb or something. The card from your parents was nice."
"Yeah, I didn't know they'd sent it."
"And the letter from you."
"Yeah. I sent you more than that. Why that one?"
"Because of the last sentence. The 'I hope you are well' comment."
"Yeah, sorry about that."
"Don't be. It made me laugh for the first time in ages. It proved to me that you really were my best friend. You got it. You got it exactly, Max. You wrote that comment dripping with sarcasm, and it was brilliant. That's what made it different from Megan. She wrote it because she didn't know what to say. You wrote it exactly because you knew I didn't want to hear it."
"I know I wasn't around much. No excuses, Chloe. I'm a loser. But, I am trying to make things right."
"How? Dude, you're not Super-Max. And I'm not trying to guilt-trip you. That's what my parents are for."
"They love you so much."
"I know. Mom and Dad are so cute. They always pop in here and make sure everything's okay with me."
"I think Joyce and William are incredible."
"Max, the accident has been so hard on them. Our insurance sucks and the medical bills are fucking insane."
"Can they afford them?"
"No way. They keep the numbers away from me, but it doesn't take much research to find out I'm costing them about a million dollars a year."
"Chloe, you're priceless. Uh, no pun intended."
"You are such a geek," Chloe said, managing a weak giggle. "That's why I love you. Of course, I know a geek when I be one." She giggled again. "See, I'm practically a human entertainment system. You know, it'd be sweet to chill out together and watch a movie, you know, like when you'd spend the night at my house."
"That's a great idea," said Max, springing up. "What do you want to watch?"
"Uh, I think I'm in, like, a mellow 'Blade Runner' mood. I always cry at the end. Plus, you know I always wanted to have cool coloured bangs like Pris."
"Yeah. You'd look incredible with blue hair." She walked over to the DVD player. "Now, let's get this show on the road. And you'd better not fall asleep on me, like you always do when we watch movies."
"I remember, Max. Swear I won't fall asleep." She looked over to Max. "Not when you're here. Not yet."
Max knelt down and opened the floor cupboard, to find an impressive array of DVDs. Searching through, she first came across an old rewriteable CD, with a drawn picture of two pirates and the scribbled moniker 'Pirate Power'.
Oh wow, she's still got that? I made that mix for her when we were like twelve!
Nearby was Blade Runner, so she quickly popped open the box and inserted the DVD into the player and dimmed the lights. Turning the television on, she settled back into her chair near Chloe, but moved much closer so she could lean on the bed close to her friend. As the film began playing, they looked at deeply into each other's eyes. In Chloe's eyes, Max could see the hurt and pain her friend was suffering through, but also, quite prominently, her love for Max. She smiled and they settled in for the night. Max was concentrating on the movie and didn't notice the odd glance from Chloe, usually followed by a genuine, soft smile as she just enjoyed the company of her best friend for the first time in five years.