A/N - :-O... I can't believe how long it's been since I've given you guys a new Chapter. PLEASE forgive me, I feel horrible! But even through my 4 months absence (crazy!), the story has still grown! I've gotten email updates of new favorites AND followers, as well as several 'favorite authors'... there's a boost for me ;). I can't really say I've been super busy, I've just been spending my free time elsewhere than writing. I've been doing a lot of reading lately which is good, it's given me a lot of inspiration as I start to move forward with No Sad Goodbyes! AND... I have NOT, NOT going to or never HAVE abandoned this story, after growing it to like it is? NO. WAY. Just... NO! Okay, I'll stop and get to the main attraction..

This Chapter is technically UNFINISHED. I did NOT get to finish it but on my fan Facebook, I promised I would have it up today, no exceptions. It still turned out 'alright' and I do finally have some set plans with writing the FINAL CHAPTER for No Sad Goodbyes now! In this Chpt. though, Katniss is coming to terms with the news, as well as trying to deal with new and strange emotions that she has never dealt with before. Being brave is nothing new to Katniss, but it is in the sense of having to be brave when it comes to the people she loves, especially the person she's in love with. In the Chpt, you start to see her struggle and even a failure (near the end). You also, get introduced to General Miles, which I'm thinking will play a big rule in the next installment (IF there is one?).

I would like to THANK cmatty, Bellabear, Lemon-Drop24, ImaginationStation00, Olivia, FireworkRR75, yaiden, MadHatter0542, tickle ur peach, WeInHere, oj2000, GilliebeanN, DntlessAnnabeth, 'guest' and twilightbella for reviewing Chpt. 35! WHEW! THANK. YOU. I pray that I still have ALL of you as readers still? ImaginationStation00 - YES! You got the Chpt COMPLETELY! But answers to your questions... you'll have to wait and find out ;). Olivia - Thank you :)! MadHatter0542 - Haha ;)! tickle ur peach - NO WAY! I did not even think of that when I was writing it... (Now, that'd break MY heart!).

Okay, whew! You have no idea how much those reviews mean to me. Before starting to write again, I had to reread them for encouragement, they make such a difference when you know you have fans out there of your work :). I won't keep you now, but like I said, this was an UNFINISHED Chpt! I had SO much more I wanted to write. The next one will be the LAST and BLOW OUT Chapter. It will be the good 'ol send off to Gale time :( :( :(. I already started writing it! Right now, I will have it up June 21st (I'm thinking). PLEASE check the Facebook page for ALL UPDATES! PLEASE. And... like I said, reviews make a HUGE difference, feel free to give me your questions and opinions in the review box! LOVE TO ALL - Macayla

I unofficially name this Chapter: "Black"

I take one more glance at the sleeping pair, cuddled on the bed and wrapped in the warmth of the blankets together. Gale asked gently if Linden could join us in the bed last night and there was no way I could deny this simple request to him. My own cries mixed in with Linden's throughout the night, and I would not be mistaken to say that a few deep sniffles were added too. I take a deep breath, smile at the image slightly and make my way down the stairs… only to go right back up them and into the bedroom again. I decide to leave a note for Gale, considering the sun isn't up and neither is he.

'Going to town, be back in a few. Don't worry.

K.'

I slip the note onto my pillow on my side of the bed, taking yet another deep breath at the peaceful and beautiful image before me. Linden sprawled out on top of Gale's large chest, his heavy breathing making Linden move slightly up and down. I'm nearly on the verge of tears, when I realize the image will never happen again (not in this way), when I force myself to walk away, down the stairs and grabbing my grey jacket. I have to focus on the task at hand… and it's important.

Very important.

XX

I stuff my hands into my coat pockets, the gravel beneath my feet crunching with every step. The weather is warming fast and perhaps the jacket wasn't necessary. I shrug the thought off though as I slowly make my way down the seam road and towards the town. It's my favorite time of the early morning though, when the touches of grey and soft blue begin to appear over the mountain tops. I'm nearly relaxed, peaceful when everything that happened last night, the conversation, the realizations, pop right back into my head. I stop and squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, feeling all the terrible emotions I felt last night all over again. How am I supposed to react to news like that? How am I going to make ends meet for two hungry families? How in the world am I supposed to raise the first few years of Linden's little life by myself? The worst question of all, but not the last. Will Linden understand that he does have a father, he's just not home? Will he think he's dead? Will he be different because only his mother will raise him for the first three years? I know nothing about raising a baby or toddler… nothing. But I realize I'm not alone, I have Hazel… she'll help me… I know it. For now, I hike up my 'skirt' and continue on to that important task at hand, hoping the Justice Building will be open by the time I get there.

Slowly, touches of sun rays begins to fill the town square as I approach. Several people are already out, hustling about and doing their days activities. I only know a few and the few I pass make little conversation, exchange no smiles and keeping their heads down. Did I do anything to them? I shake my head and continue to the Justice Building, hoping I don't get there too late. The mayor will only see a certain amount of people a day, if any, so I don't want to take any chances incase it is the same way with other officials. I'm determined to see whoever is in charge of this military recruiting. Over night… I found I did in fact have anger, just for everyone in charge of this besides Gale. How can I be mad at him when he was originally doing this all for me? To prove his love? To 'swoon' be over when he already had? It's all my fault, for not showing enough the love I have for him. So if I'm angry…

I'm angry with myself.

I quickly make my way up the large, steep steps that lead to the two large front doors. I open one of them slowly, testing to see if it's locked or unlocked. I find that it is indeed unlocked, so I make my way inside. I hate the Justice Building. Ever since my fathers death… I hate it. I would by lying though if I didn't admit the building inside was pretty, different from the usual District 12 rustic, worn down look. It look's like something straight from the Capitol but less… colorful and, 'shiny'. Two large columns lead straight up to a stories tall ceiling, to where a huge, elegant, crystal chandelier hangs down. Long corridor hallways branch out in every direction with doors(of course) and large paintings of all the old Mayor's, Panem President's and other national and local officials. In the middle of this large room though, sit's an elaborate desk, between the two columns, with always a lady who is much too rude for her job. From my point of view currently, she has a little grey bun sitting a little too high on her head, bobbing as she viscously types away on a computer. The Justice Building, which is also the home of Mayor Undersee and his family, is the only place in twelve that is guaranteed electricity. From this building, the Capitol keeps a careful eye on everything that we do here. They wouldn't want any of their little puppets stepping out of line, would they? I snap out of my thoughts when the woman behind the desk catches my attention.

"Can I help you?" I hear her ask, not bothering to look up or pause from her typing.

I slowly, as though I'm walking on egg shells, make my way to the desk. The part that faces me is tall and all I can see is the woman's eyes and glasses, sitting on the very edge of her nose. I swallow deeply before speaking-

"I need to talk to Mayor Undersee… or General…" I start to lose my train of thought and my speech.

She pauses from her typing and stands, looking me straight on. She's old… older than her high pitched voice sounds. Her grey top nearly matches the color of her hair. She has a tight scowl on her face and I can't help but to think she look's like a school librarian.

"General?" She asks again, sounding inpatient. I can't decide if she has a Capitol accent or not.

I rack my brain for the answer from last nights conversation. After a few short seconds, I instantly remember.

"General Miles." I blurt out quickly. From the scowl on her face, it looked like if I didn't speak she was about the throw me out. She takes a deep, long sigh, laughing coldly-

"They are both much too busy to deal with people like…" She stops suddenly, not moving her head but allowing her eyes to roam over my form from what she can see behind the desk. She doesn't speak and she's only adding fuel to my anger with her rudeness. She can tell I'm from the seam.

"People like what?" I spit out and ask harshly, crossing my arms in hopes of looking more angry. "Seam people? Sorry I'm not from the 'rude-fucking' Capitol like you."

I realized I let my anger to get me a little too quickly, but I don't regret my words. It's all I can do to hold back my grin as the woman's mouth open's in shock, so I bite the inside my cheek so my face will stay in my signature scowl. She closes it quickly and look's down at her next words-

"I'll see what I can do." She replies, quietly, stepping out from behind the desk and down one of the long hallways.

As the sound of her heels clicking against the floor grows more distant, I allow myself a smile.

XX

It's not long before my amusement fades and I'm left standing there, waiting. The only time I have patience is in the woods, when I'm silently waiting for an animal to pass through my line of vision, or watching from behind a tree as a helpless bunny becomes dinner with Gale's traps. But patience like this, and patience for people is not my area of expertise. I pace around the room, using my hunters feet, going back and forth between the two enormous paintings of Mayor Undersee and President Snow. It's when I approach President Snow's painting that I stop. It has him sitting behind a simple desk in rather a simple office or background. Sitting on his desk though are three perfect white roses and a single glass of deep red wine. It strikes me as odd, strange. I look into his eyes and they look like deep, bottomless pits. Snake eyes, I think to myself.

"Follow me."

I turn around and I'm met with the same lady again. She is completely transformed from the rude lady behind the desk. She keeps her head down, hands folded in front of her and her face even… no scowl. I guess she's not use to being put in her place? I would nearly feel pity towards her but all my emotions are used up by something completely different. I walk swiftly to where she stands, across the room. I follow her down a long hallway where dozens of paintings of past District 12 Mayors hang. But I don't pay attention much to them, I can't help but to think whose office am I going to? Who I'm I going to ask my important question to? Whose going to give me the answers? I plea that it's Mayor Undersee's office, being that the few times I have met him, he is extremely nice. I know nothing about this 'General… Miles'. My question is answered though when we arrive at one of the many doors, and this one reads

'General R. E. Miles | District 12 Military'

"Go on in." She says coldly, not bothering to make eye contact. Something punches me inside my gut, a rare feeling I get.

"Thank you… very much." I reply, offering a simple smile although she's not looking.

She walks away before I can get another word in. I assume she left me to invite myself in. I don't knock but slowly open the door to hear a deep voice behind it.

"Come in."

I hear, so I open the door wider. I'm not sure if I had any expectations of this General Miles but he look's nothing like I would imagine. His office is simple but with awards and certificates plastered every so many inches on the wall. He sits behind a simple wooden desk that is in front of a huge Panem flag. But it's not his office that catches my attention, it's him. He's older than me, but only by a few years… if that. He's huge. Broad shouldered and from just sitting down, I can tell he's tall. I can't lie and say that he's not handsome. His dark hair matches mine but he's not from the seam. His green eyes and lighter skin tells me otherwise. He's on the phone, talking softly but urgently. He motions to one of the two large chairs in front of the desk. I slowly walk over and sink into one. He eyes me the entire time, watching my every move as though I might be a spy from Airagusta themselves, ready to blow up the country or try to sneak important information from him.

"I told you sir, I can't do that." There's a long pause before he speaks again. "I can't." He sounds harsher but speaks after another short pause. "If I do, it will risk half the nations life." Another pause. "Well you'll do have to make due." He snaps, hanging the phone back onto it's holder loudly.

He coughs and then finally turns back his gaze toward me. I can honestly say I'm amazed at how green someone's eyes, like his, can be. They remind me of the woods.

"So what can I do to help a lady like you?" He asks, sitting back in his chair and throwing me a dazzling smile.

I'm also amazed at how white his teeth are. From lack of supplies, no one's teeth in twelve is that white and healthy. His smile instantly make's me lose my train of thought. He leans forward, eyebrows raised in anticipation for my next words… but they don't come right away.

"What's your name?" He asks gently. For some reason I drop my gaze and answer quickly.

"Katniss Everdeen." My eyes shoot right back up to his, at the realize of my mistake. "Hawthorne! Katniss Hawthorne, I mean."

Surprisingly, he laughs lightly and at his laugh, it automatically makes a smile appear on my face. Only Gale, or maybe Prim, has ever made me smile (or laugh) when I'm in the type of mood I am in now. He leans back in his chair again before speaking.

"Ah! So you're the famous wife of Gale Hawthorne, huh?" He asks, dazzling yet another smile to me. "I've heard a lot about you."

He has? I know confusion must appear, some how, on my face because his smile turns into a grin, a friendly one. Somehow, I find a rare bit of humor that I did not think I would be able to find today… or perhaps not even for a while-

"I hope it all hasn't been bad." I only smile, but instantly he laughs again. A deep laugh, even deeper than Gale's.

"I'd be lying if I said yes." He replies.

There's something about his smile that makes me shake my head. I'm forced to remember why I came to his office in the first place. But before I can finally get my question out, he speaks again-

"I know your husband well…" He stands up, picking up a book on his desk and walking to the bookcases on the far side of the office, I turn slightly in my chair to watch as he slides in into place and picks back up his sentence. ".. very well. Therefore, I know you well."

He turns back around, facing me, and I realize just how tall he really is. Really, no taller than Gale but much more muscled, making him seem twice as tall (when he's not). Why do I keep comparing him to Gale? Going back to General Miles last words, I become confused, completely. I stutter for a second-

"Wh-what?" I ask, quietly.

"Gale and I… have been working together, a lot on all this military, Airagusta stuff." He answers, pacing around the room slowly, arms behind his back and stance straight and tall. "He speaks more about you than anything else we talk about." If he tried to help with my confusion, it didn't help… much. He know's this too. "Gale's has a lot of… helpful plans to the operations we are trying to unfold," he continues. "But the thing that he made completely clear, was that his main priority was you."

I'm still confused, I know I'm beginning to think he's only adding to my confusion instead of aiding. I want to ask questions, but something tells me not to, something tells me that my facial expressions are enough to explain everything. So, without any interruptions from me, he continues again.

"Gale told me that you didn't know, didn't know anything actually."

Didn't know what exactly? Is there more than just his leaving that he didn't tell me? I'm instantly reminded of those blueprints of bombs, handwritten in Gale's own hand writing and drawing. For some reason, I keep forgetting about that, although they strike me as odd and so unlike the Gale I know. But General Miles seems to read the questions from my face yet again. He takes a deep, loud sigh, dropping eye contact and rubbing his chin like he aspects hair to be there.

"It's better to show you, Mrs. Hawthorne." He says, matter-of-factly, turning back his full attention to me. Waiting.

I rise from my chair, slowly and even cautiously. The way he's looking at me know, I can tell he no longer look's at me as a threat and in fact, I would say he look's to be trusting me even. If he can be trusting me this much already, not even knowing me, I know that Gale must hold some type of high liking to this man. I'm reminded though, of yet again exactly why I came to seek this man out in the first place, not for him to show and talk to me about things that are only confusing me and that I'd never understand.

"I came here for a reason." I speak gently, coming out much ruder than I intended.

"Of course you did." He answers. "But please, let me show you something first," he starts walking towards the office door. "you might think differently about everything."

Think differently? How can this man, that I've just met for the first time in my life, could know what I came here to ask? All I want his for him to take Gale's name off of that damn, blasted military recruit list. That's all I want. And I know I have to get home soon, before I'm gone too long and Gale starts to panic.

But whatever part of my brain that controls my actions, take's a mind of it's own. I step around the chair, following him out of the door and back into the long corridor. It's another game of 'cat-and-mouse', going through winding corridor after corridor. It's different this time around though, the hallways are no longer nearly abandoned, this time, there's people everywhere. Knocking on some of the office doors, heels clicking every which way in the distance, telephone's ringing and even the strong smell of coffee in the air. This goes on for what seems hours, although, it's only about five minutes to be honest, before we come upon completely different corridors. The plain white tiled floor, brown doors and grey roof have been replaced by something entirely different. Marble arches and marble floor seem to go on to what look's to be miles and miles of hallway. Elegant light fixtures hang in between each elaborate arch as we pass under each one. I can tell the new part of the Justice Building we are in is not seen by many, outside of the Undersee family that is. I've always been content with living in a rundown house in the seam, being the only place I could call home, but for the first time in my life, I can honestly say I wouldn't mind living in a mansion. Just this simple, elegant hallway strikes me as beautiful. But we barely make it halfway through before we suddenly veer off to the left, into a completely different corridor yet again. In fact, it's hard to tell if it's a corridor or not. There seems to be no doors, windows or outlets in this long, dark grey hallway. Every so feet, a number mark appears on the roof. As we pass under them, I count them… 01, 02, 03, 04 and finally, we stop at '05'. I'm confused until General Miles taps an odd looking panel on the right side of the wall, a little screen pops up. I watch as he puts the numbers '0512' into the device. An invisible door opens automatically and he steps aside-

"Ladies first."

I step carefully, slowly into the dark room, to my surprise, without hesitation. Although I have no idea where I'm at or what he's bringing me into this room to show me… I trust him. He says he knows Gale well, and if Gale can trust him then I can trust him.

I step further inside to find nothing out of the ordinary about this room at all. The sounds of light boots hitting to floor indicates General Miles has followed me in. In the center of the room in a long, black table. Black and grey chairs surround it on every side. The walls are black, the roof is black and the tile on the floor is a grey color with odd ridges in each tile. Who knew this area of the Justice Building existed? I'm confused at why I'm here until General Miles takes long strides to the wall that's behind me, where the door is at. On the wall is a large board, filled with blueprints, writings and pictures of different things and areas around Panem. A few mug shots hang of different people, with weird numbers and lettering underneath each. Although I'm unsure what I'm technically authorized to see, as we approach I allow my eyes to take in every detail. And the detail I find instantly,

Shocks me.

XX

General Miles says nothing as he allows the images and writing before me to explain everything. Nearly identical to the ones I found are the blueprints of bombs, handwritten and this time, signed 'G. Hawthorne'. It's when I go to bite my nails, as my eyes scan over the dozens of blueprints, that General Miles finally speaks-

"Your husband is crucial to some of the planned invasions. He knows a lot about all this…" he pauses for a second. "… stuff." He finishes, pointing to the elaborate drawings of the enormous bombs. "We need him to come to the Capitol, to help build these." He adds. Something strikes me.

"So he won't be a soldier?" I blurt out, pleadingly. Finally allowing my gaze to set on his. He takes a loud breath in.

"No… and yes, Katniss. Can I call you Katniss?" He asks but speaks again before I can answer. "We won't use him to fight, not right away. But these bombs will be used for raids and attacks. And wherever these bombs go, he'll go, calling some of the shots."

Nothing, nothing at all, soothes me about his answer. Is it good that he won't be, 'fighting on the lines'? Sure, but to where exactly will these bombs be going? Anything could go wrong in those scenarios. I voice my question to him, with a touch of anger. He nearly laughs with humor but stops himself short-

"The fighting hasn't started yet, Katniss. Not even the war." He goes on, "They've attacked us… we need to start attacking them." He answers. "These bombs need to be made and dropped as soon as possible."

Without any further explanation, I know that Gale is the most crucial part of the entire countries war right now. But how is it, that I'm just finding this all out about my husband? Does that mean I've failed as a wife if I couldn't figure this all out on my own? That thee entire countries military status is riding on my husbands back? The entire war! There's so much Gale hasn't told me… so much. More anger floods me. At myself? At Gale? At General Miles? At even Prim? I don't know.

I don't think I know anything anymore.

XX

I remove my jacked and leave it on the rocking chair on the porch, hopefully setting a reminder for myself later to start laundry. Maybe doing a few house chores is what I will need to clear my mind of a lot of… junk, should I say. I'm careful when I open the front door to the house, trying not to make too much noise in hopes both Gale and Linden could be soaking up any bit of extra sleep, it has to be barely eight in the morning. I'm wrong though when I'm met with a newborn, loud wail coming from the living room.

"I'm home!" I call out loudly above the noise, shutting the front door behind me.

I take my boots off at the door, not wanting to track anymore dirt onto the already un-cleaned floors. No answer comes from the living room, and I know that I have no reason to panic… but I do. I run into the room to find Gale pacing back and forth, Linden cuddled against his chest. He doesn't even notice me as he's so intone to his son. I stand there, admiring yet another view today that I'll never see again. If Gale comes back to his family, Linden will no longer be a 'baby' anymore. Instead, he'll be met with a toddler who won't even be able to point him out in a crowd of men. How could Gale ever do this to me? I nearly slap myself on the head from my question. I don't want to be angry with him, I don't. I want to spend every possible moment I have left with him right now, and I don't want to have the urge to slap him and call him names in the process. I squeeze my eyes shut, clearing my head for a moment. It's when my eyes are shut that I hear him-

"Hey, Catnip."

Gale's voice pushes it's way into my line of hearing, past Linden's wails. I open my eyes to find him eyeing me curiously, watching and waiting for my next move but with a glint of a smile on his face. I give a slight smile back though, not having the urge to use anymore of my voice then I have already. And to be honest, I'm scared that if I say too much to Gale, I'll burst back into tears, like last night. He doesn't look surprised when I remain silent, instead, he takes the few steps toward me, wrapping his free arm around me, squishing Linden in between our chests and letting his lips land on mine in a passionate kiss. The kiss is so unlike the 'welcoming kisses' Gale normally gives me. It's not the peck on the lips (or cheek) like when he returns home each day from the mines, not like the soft and gentle kiss he gives me each night before bed and not like the quick kisses he gives me if there's others in the same room. Instead, it's passionate and filled with so much love that it nearly makes my knees go weak. I don't hesitate to return the kiss, deepening it even further. It's when I do, that he pulls away gently, laying a calming kiss onto my forehead and taking the few steps back from me.

We stare at each other for several seconds, admiring each other before something snaps quickly in Gale's head. He look's down, at the crying infant in his grasp, that both of us seemed to temporarily forget, and almost laughs.

"Hasn't stopped crying since you left." He says, sticking little Linden out to me.

I smile and take hold of him quickly, knowing most likely exactly what it is he needs. Gale follows me to the couch, handing me a blanket to tuck around him as I help him latch on to myself, gulping down his serving of breakfast. Gale and I both exchange wide smiles with each other as I feel his arm encircle my waist. I try not to think about how, again, this will never happen between the three of us for much longer, not in this way. But I quickly realize I have to stop thinking in this form, if I do, it's heating the fire of anger within me, and I'm so confused about that anger. There's no question to why it's there, but to who and exactly what about is the question. I don't want to be mad at Gale… I don't want to be mad at anybody, so I must stop thinking in the way that I am-

"I told you that you'd make a good mother." Gale mummers to me quietly, interrupting my thoughts.

No doubt he would have a cow if he knew about the thoughts running through my head. But he's no fool to me, knowing me better than anyone else. He knows I'm thinking about it, and he is too. But this time, I correct my thoughts back to Gale's words, smiling wide again at them.

"You did." I answer, noticing Linden's tiny finger nails on his delicate hands as they are both gripped tightly onto the blanket.

Gale is right though, countless times during my pregnancy he told me this, that I would make the most amazing mother he could imagine. He told me it so many times, that I tossed each one aside, thinking of it no more as pity on his part when I was at my most miserable states. But somehow, they kept me going, not thinking about failing as a mother or parent. I still haven't even begun to become accustomed to all that motherhood entails. Last year, the thought of breastfeeding a child was considered 'disgusting' to me. I'm still not overly use to it, but I realized that I love Linden, so much, that I would do anything for him. I repeat those words to myself as they snap something weird inside of me-

I love him so much, I would do anything for him.

I even rephrase the words again.

Because I love him so much, I would do anything for him.

Instantly, I feel the most sympathy for Gale than I even felt the moment he told me last night. That's exactly why we are in this place that we are in. Because Gale loves me just that much and hard, he bent over backwards and took the biggest leap to win that love for him. Of course, he already had won it, but he didn't know it. He didn't do it to make me miserable, to put me and both our families through hell. It was all out of love to begin with. I could never be angry with a man that would put his whole life, and everything that he is, on the forefront… for me? I'm not angry with him… but I'm still… angry. At who? Why? I feel like screaming from the inside out.

"What is it?"

Gale's strong and steady voice interrupts my thoughts again. I can't be mad with him, I can't, I can't, I can't! Nor can I let him know about these thoughts, they're not helping me and they most certainly wouldn't help him. I pull myself together and smile brightly to him, just noticing the silent tears in my eyes-

"Nothing." I answer, lying to his face.

I scoot closer to him, closing the smallest of a gap between our hips, and lean into him. He wraps his other arm around me, tightly. I take in the amazing scent that I know is of Gale. Orange, pin needles and coal.

I close my eyes, wishing I could live in this very moment forever.

XX

Gale and I spend the rest of the morning, lunch time and going into the afternoon together (with Linden). Not leaving each others side in fear we'll never see each other again. And we're not silent the whole time, we talk a lot, about anything and everything. Everything expect the war and recruit. We even find ourselves in fits of laughter at each other. He says he finds it humors when I try to cook us some lunch, I roll my eyes but find myself laughing moments later when I drop the spoon and send hot soup broth flying across the kitchen. The laughter is exactly what both of us need in this moment, easing the slight tension that we there only this morning. Maybe it's true, laughter is natures medicine? Not a cure, but maybe it does 'hold off the symptoms'?

It's that afternoon, after Linden is tucked in his crib for his afternoon nap and we've marveled at his sleeping figure for minutes (Gale even made his lips move in his sleep, like he was talking. I of course, slapped him playfully and told him to stop, but it didn't sound very serious through my own laughter) that we find ourselves wrapped in each others arms on the couch, silently, embracing the mere quiet, alone time together. Since Linden's been born a week ago… and everything else on top of it, cuddling in another room besides our bedroom hasn't happened much to say the least. I'm the one that begins to make the moment intimate, craning my head up just a bit, slowly planting light kisses down Gale's neck and allowing my hand, that rested on his stomach, slowly inch to the top of his pants. But he instantly stops me, standing up and shaking his head lightly.

"I got to see my family." He says, avoiding eye contact and stuffing his hands into his pant pockets, looking at the ground.

Am I really not the only person Gale hasn't told? Has he not even told his own mother? Is Prim really the only family member who knew? I don't have to say a word, Gale knows my question already. He always does.

"My mother knows." He answers, looking up finally into my eyes. His face is hard to read to me for a change, but I can tell he's not looking forward to the visit. "The boys and Posy don't though." He adds.

"Oh." Is the only word that I can find in return.

Gale has always had a close relationship with his siblings, just like Prim and I. Gale has told me multiple times how he has taken over the father figure in Rory, Vick and Posy's life. Especially little Posy, who has never had her father in her life. I know she'll be crushed at the news of Gale's leaving, but she'll just have to join the club, as harsh as that is to say.

He doesn't even wait for me to get up before he make's his way into the kitchen, not bothering to grab his coat as I hear the sound of the front door closing quietly.

XX

I'm cooking dinner, Linden safely sprawled out on a blanket on the dinning room floor, when the door swings open slowly and quietly. It was all I could do for the past hours not to think of what would be going on at his families home. No doubt tears would be shed from both his mother and his siblings. Posy, who is much too young to understand war completely, will be confused no doubt. But no stop my own tears, I told myself not to think of it. Of course, it didn't work. I can think of nothing else but that.

I crane my head over to see Gale enter the house, red faced and the sound of crying. Not his crying though, the sound of a child's tantrum. Posy is clutched in her brothers arms, holding tightly to Gale's neck and crying at the top of her young lungs. I don't know what it is, or why, but something tips me over the edge at the image. I push the pot of soup I was warming up from lunch to the back burner that's not lit, blow out the few coals from the lit burner and run upstairs. Throwing myself onto the bed, burying my head into my pillows and crying.

Just crying.

XX

It doesn't surprise me that Gale doesn't follow. How can he when he has a crying, Posy and now Linden to care for first. I'm not sure exactly what made my snap at the image, but I know the tears I'm shedding are only tears that I have been holding in all day. It takes me minutes to finally come to the realization of my melt down. It's a memory that I haven't even thought of since the day I saw it. It was during the mine explosion that killed my father. My family and the dozens of others were gathered as close to the mine entrance as the Peacekeepers would allow us to be. They were pulling up survivors and dead bodies, one after another. It was at one particular body that was brought up, rather the man was alive or dead I never knew, that a young girl, maybe six or seven, jumped past the Peacekeepers that were holding us back, shouting 'No! No! Don't leave us, Daddy!' as she threw herself on top of the mans barely noticeable body. I remember seeing that as a child myself, making myself numb at the emotions the little girl displayed.

Gale never does come upstairs to consult me, to comfort me even. I know I shouldn't be upset, at all. I stormed upstairs, giving him two crying children and his own emotions to conquer. So I push that rising anger aside and force myself to sit up. The room goes dizzy for a second so I squeeze me eyes. I open them immediately though, when through the darkness, I'm met with the image of that little girl. I slowly ease my way back downstairs. I'm met with little Posy, putting the metal spoons next to the three, steaming bowls of soup sat on the table. Gale see's me instantly, walking the few steps to stand in front of me.

Now is when embarrassment courses through me. How stupid was I to finally let me emotions get to me? I told myself, last night, that I had to be brave, but yet I still displayed the most pathetic form of weakness, perhaps, I've ever showed in my life. I should have been there for Gale, helping to peel Posy off of him. Maybe even talking with her.

But I screwed up.

Gale doesn't make me feel better… or worse though. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my hair that escaped my braid.

"I finished dinner." He says lightly, taking hold of my hand and directing me to one of the chairs that has a bowl of soup.

I notice the color is slightly off to me, but I assume maybe Gale added an extra vegetable or something to it. He gives me a quick peck on the cheek before taking the seat across from me, next to Posy. She doesn't say anything, doesn't even look up as she stuffs the hot soup into her mouth, slurping every bite. (I notice Linden's nursery door is cracked, signaling Gale must have got him to fall sleep. How? I don't know.)

I keep my own head down too though, eating my soup slowly. I don't look at Gale, out of embarrassment. I know I shouldn't be, we all have our moments of weakness but I have never, rarely displayed any weakness to Gale since we met, all those years ago. Gale tries to make small talk during the meal, mostly to Posy but we both remain rather quiet. It's when Posy is upstairs, using the bathroom that Gale stands up, sitting back down in the seat next to me, taking my hand in his.

"You alright?" He asks gently, pushing my messy braid behind my back. I only nod my head, unable to speak. He knows me far too well though, and gets straight to the point. "Don't be embarrassed, Catnip. You'll never know how bad I wanted to follow you and cry too." He says, trying to reassure me. He doesn't really help me though, it only adds guilt to the embarrassment.

I'm not sure what it is, but suddenly I feel dizzy again. A different dizzy, heavy eyed really. Rather I'm passing out, falling sleep or maybe even dying, I don't know…

Because everything goes black. . . . .

Chapter 37 Preview: Is the stress beginning to conquer Katniss, or is it her own fears? Fears of what exactly? What will take place when Gale spends his final day in District 12 with his family? How will Katniss and the Hawthorne children deal with it? What will go down with District 12 decides, at last minute, to send the 'District 12 Military Recruits' off with a cheery celebration? Will it lift the spirits of Katniss and give her a little comfort that she needs, or will it only make it all worse? What will take place when finally, they say their final goodbyes on the dusty old train station dock? Will Katniss be left with questions and words hanging off her lips? And what shocking realization will Katniss come to as she watches the train, carrying the only man she's ever loved, speed away? Find out all the answers in the FINAL, EPIC conclusion to No Sad Goodbye's! Saturday, June 21st!

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(PS - (; I turned 17 while away on.. 'break'... yay.)