Chapter 36

The week that followed was difficult for the Apprentice. He prepared as best as he could for the invasion that was to follow, but no one could properly prepare for such an event. He went daily to check on Obi-Wan, spending hours in the waiting room, hoping for admittance, before being dragged away by Garen.

On the day of his meeting with the Council, Anakin paced the waiting room, unsure of how the afternoon would unfold. He had no idea of whether he would emerge from the meeting still a member of the Jedi Order, and he wasn't sure he could go through this without the knowledge that his Master still believed, if not supported, him. The Apprentice, after hearing yet again that his Master was not up to visitors, found himself beyond frustrated. Here he was, the day of his memory sweep and his Master couldn't find the energy or desire to see him for a few minutes. Impatience took the best of Anakin and he made a rash decision. With determined steps he headed to the back of the MedWing. He didn't know where they were keeping Obi-Wan but he knew he'd be in the Intensive Care Unit.

As he stalked down the halls he peered through portholes into rooms, looking for a sign of his Master. When he finally found him he paused anxiously at the door, unsure now of his decision.

He glanced around and decided it was now or never. This could very well be his last chance. Determined, he pressed the button and after the door slid open he stepped inside. Obi-Wan turned to look at the visitor, expecting a healer, Anakin supposed. He noticed a distinct darkening of Obi-Wan's eyes when he realized who his intruder was.

"What are you doing here?"

"Master, I need to talk to you, please."

Obi-Wan turned his face away from his Apprentice. He could not bear to allow Anakin to see the pain he felt, or the guilt that he was sure was plastered all over his face. "Go away, Anakin."

"But I need to speak to you, to explain. You don't understand."

"I understand enough. Go away. I don't want you in my room, nor my sight. Get out!"

Anakin felt his anger rise. He was hours from a meeting that could determine his status in the Jedi and his Master was refusing to see him. "You're being unfair. I saved your life. You would have died without me."

"Better to die than to live with the knowledge that you have betrayed me and the Jedi."

"I didn't betray anyone. I made a sacrifice. What I did was necessary."

Obi-Wan felt a moment of panic, Anakin wasn't leaving. He chose his words carefully, knowing they would send Anakin fleeing from the room. "Your desire to be the hero blinds you. You are so consumed with this desire to be the knight in shining armor that you do not stop to consider how your actions affect others. This time you have gone too far – I will not allow myself to be blind to your faults any longer. You are dark."

Anakin stepped back, dismayed at the harsh words. He would receive no reprieve here.

"If that is your feeling on the matter, then who am I to argue with my Master?" He spoke contrite words, but his tone was haughty. "I won't keep you any longer, you must rest to recover properly." Anakin turned to leave, pausing in the doorway. "I wonder, what you would have done if I had not killed Xanatos. Would our roles be reversed, Master?"

Anakin didn't wait for a reply. He stepped fully out of the door, allowing it to slide closed behind him. Only after he was safely away from the condemning eyes did he allow himself a moment of weakness. His shoulders dropped as he sighed. That didn't go the way he had hoped. The Apprentice gave himself a second to collect himself before leaving the Med Center. Things had not gone the way he had hoped. Now he was less than two hours from what he was beginning to think of as his judgment time, and he had already been condemned by Obi-Wan. One Master down, only twelve more to go.

He walked back to his quarters, lost in thought. There was a lot for him to think about – most of which revolved around Obi-Wan and the Council. On top of this, Anakin wasn't sure how to deal with Xanatos' death. The Apprentice had killed on previous missions but those seemed so different from this. Anakin had not been tortured before, or held captive for a long period of time, and he wasn't entirely sure if killing Xanatos was an act of anger or if he had been only trying to save Obi-Wan. He wasn't even sure anymore if he had actually felt the darkness culminating around Obi-Wan that day or if he had imagined it all as an excuse to act himself. One thing Anakin did know was that he had used the Dark side of the Force to kill Xanatos and that couldn't bode well for his future.

By the time Anakin reached this line of thought he had arrived at his quarters. He showered quickly and choked down a protein drink – his first resemblance of a meal for the day. Anakin glanced at the clock, he was close to being late and he hurried to his appointment.