Chapter THIRTY SIX

Sakura could see the welcoming arms of her beloved god reaching out towards Haku from behind her. They grasped at the boy's pale face, ran invisible fingers down his lifeless arms, and seemed to gather his prone form into deathly arms.

Of course this wasn't actually happening, but Sakura could picture it in her mind as clearly as if were. She placed her bloody hands over where she could imagine Jashin's own hands being and closed her eyes for a second.

She hoped, she really did, that the boy managed to find a place where he was really free to make his own choices. After all, if humans were the creation of the gods and it was a god's will for them to kill and spill blood in his name, only in death was one truly free, for that was when their role within their creator's playground was over. Sakura was sure her own death would be beautiful. She would live a life as Jashin's weapon, and when she died, she would become another soul that returned to it's creator's side.

That was why the world of the shinobi was such a perfect place for her god.

Haku's blood continues to harden on her arms, and by the time the fight between Kakashi and Zabuza is over and Gato arrives with his men, she could see the see the cracks that appeared over the crimson coating on her arms. When she moved, they flaked off to reveal bare skin.

In the background, she could hear Naruto's anguished voice and felt Zabuza's chakra signature flare in rage as he charged towards the corrupt businessman and his hired mercenaries. She gently lowered Haku's head to the ground and slowly stood up. She slowly flexed her arms and watched the dried blood fall away.

In the end, this boy's death would be just another one of her gifts to her God. She pointedly ran her hands over her limbs to shake off the rest of the blood. She would move on from this kill, just like she had with every single other sacrifice.

She heard someone shout out in pain and turned her attention towards the fight going on between Zabuza and Gato's men.

Yes, she would worry about the stinging pain in her chest later. She gripped her scythe and swung it over her shoulder. There were many others she could kill tonight. Maybe that would help her forget.

She didn't dare look back at the face of her latest sacrefice. She would wash away Haku's blood with the blood of the others. She would-

She didn't even notice Kakashi appear behind her and a single gentle blow to the back of her neck knocked her out.

Shikamaru had made sure to ask Sakura her estimated return time and had gotten her to share as much content of the mission as possible without violating any secrecy rule, so when she and her team did not return as planned, he became worried. His father had not been able to give him any answers and he had really begun to worry when Hatake Kakashi, Sakura's Jounin instructor, appeared at the door one day with an unconscious Sakura in his arms.

The man had immediately gone to see Shikaku after he had dropped the girl off in her room and Shikamaru, torn between eavesdropping and sitting with the pinkette, had decided to go with the latter. Unsure of what to do and uneasy with the silence he usually did not have when Sakura was around, he dragged a chair over and sat beside the bed. He gave her a quick look over and was not surprised to see no injuries and scars on her, for he had seen firsthand how quickly her injuries healed.

Sakura always told him how her God made her immortal, and that she could not die from injuries no matter how fatal they appeared. However, she had also slipped a few times that that did not mean she was undefeatable, and for the first time, Shikamaru realized how that was scary in its own right.

Shikamaru was smart and his intellect was a powerful weapon, but how was he supposed to help Sakura fight her own demons if no one knew about that?

Hours later, Shikaku found his son sitting in a chair beside an unconscious Sakura.

Shikamaru looked up when he opened the door. "Tou-san." His eyes shifted back to the girl.

"Apparently, she lost it when she killed a boy she was fighting," Shikaku quietly explained. "She's been out since."

"Doesn't she have to go to the hospital?"

"Hatake-san already took her."Shikaku thought of when the Jounin had told him had happened. "All she needs is rest."

Shikamaru reached out slowly, but stopped himself before his fingers could touch Sakura's face. "You aren't going to hand her over to T&I?"

Shikaku turned to him with unreadable eyes. "Do you think she needs to be put back there?" He asked curiously.

Shikamaru slowly shook his head. "I'm sure something happened," he said. "I want to hear it from her."

Shikaku smiled at his son's reply and he excused himself from the room.

When Sakura woke up, she immediately knew where she was. She did not know how she had gotten there, but she was very grateful to recognize the sheets she was laying on to be those of her room in the Nara compound.

Especially since the pain in her heart did not seem to have wavered, even though from the way the rest of her body did not hurt, she knew it had been a while since the mess on the bridge.

"Sakura?"

The pinkette slowly turned her head towards the door. "Shika."

Shikamaru hurried over to her side. From the way he looked a little ruffled and he was slightly sweaty, Sakura would guess that he had been training with his team.

She winced. "Hey."

Shikamaru plopped down on the seat next to her bed, and she could picture him having been doing so whenever he had the chance. That thought brought a smile to her face. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like..." Sakura trailed off, not quite sure how to reply. "Like someone stabbed me right through here." She gestured to her chest.

"Did you stab yourself?" Shikamaru asked carefully.

"I didn't." She replied. "I didn't kill him like that-I just-"

"Who's him?" Shikamaru asked gently.

"Haku," she said. "His name was Haku, and he was a foolish, stupid boy.

"Do you always give your sacrifices names?"

Sakura paused to consider this, realizing with a start that, no, she did not often bother to remember her sacrifices by their names. "Do you think it hurts here," she gestured to her chest again, "because I call him Haku?"

"It's not because you call him Haku," Shikamaru said. "It's because by calling him Haku, you are registering him as more than a sacrifice."

"How do I stop doing that?" Sakura asked. "I don't-I don't like this pain."

Shikamaru had an unreadable expression on his face. "Sakura, tell me something." He took a deep breath. "Do you like being a defect?"

Sakura flinched, remembering the words she had said to Sasuke during their mission.

I am merely a defect who failed to become a monster.

"No," she said decidedly. "Not really."

"And which part of you do you dislike?" Shikamaru asked. "The monster? Or the human?"

Update~

Darque: Sorry, life was busy.

Raven: You were busy? With what? Gaming?

Darque: O.O

Raven: =.=

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Raven: (╬⓪益⓪)

Darque: ( ≧Д≦)

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Darque: Uhhh, catch you guys next update!

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