Crimso's Notes V.2

I wasn't going to write tonight, but here I am. I've been busy with preparing for camp recently, so I hope not to be too slow with updates. I only have a few days left, and it scares me to death.

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Chapter Thirty-Five: The Point of Insanity

Mion found herself huddled underneath her futon sheets, burying herself in the warmth. It was night a day after she had witnessed Satoko's murder and had killed her own sister, and the shock of it had never left her. She hadn't gone to school that day and had locked herself inside her room all day, refusing to answer to anyone. The whole village was probably searching for Shion and Satoko right now, but she didn't care. Nothing seemed to matter to her anymore.

Her mind was completely shattered. She could barely form complete thoughts, and nothing seemed to cheer her up. The only thing that she could think about was how she had murdered her own sister, and how she was probably the cause of all of this despair. Why did Satoshi disappear again? It was because of her. Because she didn't reach out to him when he needed it the most, because she didn't comfort him, because she ignored him. It was all her fault. There was truly no one else to blame. Why had she been searching for the reason for so long again? Shion had exposed her to the obvious truth last night, and she realized she should have noticed the reason ages ago.

There was no point in throwing the blame on someone else, because it truly was her fault. There was no one else to point fingers at. The only person she had to blame for this mess was herself. It made her feel bad for yelling at Rion before, because the goddess had nothing to do with the incidents that were happening around her, but she did wish that there were something that the weak god could do to save her. But now, with Shion and Satoko dead, it was already too late to turn back. There was now officially nothing she could do to save this world. Satoko and Shion were irreplaceable members of the club and great friends to her, and now that there was no way to bring them back, there was no more chance of having this world turn brighter. Sure, it had already been like that with Satoshi's disappearance, but this made Mion feel even worse about her situation.

The… "incident" with Shion last night had opened Mion's eyes up to a reality that she had never wanted to see. She was the reason behind this despair and there was no one else she could possibly blame for it. Not only that, but Shion's words about her relationship with Keiichi still burned strongly in her mind. The boy who she thought was her loving boyfriend might be interested in another girl instead of her, and Mion realized last night that it was completely likely that he was.

Rena. She had stolen Keiichi away from her with her cute smile. If only she hadn't come here…why did she have to come here? She was probably having a happier life back with her family at home, so why the hell did she have to move to Hinamizawa? Mion gritted her teeth together and slammed her fist down into the fabric of her futon in a fit of rage. If only she hadn't come here… then that could at least be hers… at least she would have something to hold onto, something to comfort her. But now, there was no one. She had lost Shion, and now, she had lost Keiichi to a friend that should have never come in the first place.

She bit her lip. No, she told herself, she had to stop thinking this way. She had no one to blame but herself. Besides, why would Keiichi want someone like her? She was a monster, after all. She had killed her own sister and yelled that she had hated her, despite the fact that it wasn't true. She had hurt her before her death, and she had—

"Don't think like that," Rion squeaked out softly, clearly hesitant to speak to the enraged girl before her. "You shouldn't—"

"—Why the hell does it matter, Rion?" Mion spat. "Just go away, I don't need to hear from a weak god like you. There is no need for you to force these positive thoughts on me, I've given up on that kind of crap. You know that too. That's why you shut up before."

Rion didn't even look surprised by the girl's words and simply looked at her feet with a solemn expression on her face before she faded away into nothing at all.

Mion sighed as she thought to herself. The only words that would come to her head were the words of her sister before she died, and how Keiichi could have never loved her. Why didn't she see it before? They were always smiling at each other, chatting with each other, and Mion had always had a bad feeling about Rena for some reason, but it wasn't until now that she was able to identify the fact that it was because she was stealing Keiichi away from her. She was so foolish, so stupid. She should have realized it before, and maybe, just maybe, she would have been able to stop it.

She breathed heavily as she thought about Keiichi and Rena smiling at each other, and she starting frantically shaking her head as she tried to get the image out. No, she couldn't think about something like that… the image was stabbing at her sanity, creating a small hole that was fighting to close itself up. As she pictured the two of them chatting happily by themselves, ignoring her, the knife eating at her sanity began to push further and further, but it wasn't enough. Mion was desperately trying to shake the image out at this point, trying to cast if off… but what could she do? She was truly powerless now.

Yeah, and you caused it. You caused all this. You are the reason behind this mess. You could have stopped it all, you know. You could have saved Satoshi, you know. You probably could have saved Satoko, you know. You could have taken Keiichi from Rena before he fell in love with her, you know. But what did you do? You did nothing. And now, it's too late. This voice was echoing repeatedly in her head, and Mion tried her hardest to shake it away with other thoughts. Did she have to blame herself? Maybe Shion was wrong, maybe she wasn't the reason behind it. Yeah… who the hell could have saved crazy Satoshi anyways? He was mad and he was going to kill his aunt no matter what. Besides, what could she have done to heal him as his sister got worse and worse everyday? There was no way in hell to chase out his aunt and uncle and stop the abuse, and the only way was to kill them. That was what Satoshi did. But… that led to his insanity.

Yeah, it wasn't her fault, she told herself, she just had to calm down.

. "You're a fool," a strangely familiar voice hissed at her from behind. "You caused it. You know it."
Mion threw the covers off of her and whipped around, fear shaking her very core like never before as she stared at the figure below her. Her heart seemed to be racing a marathon as it pumped faster and faster when she identified the figure behind her in less than three seconds. With each beat of her heart, fear pumped into her veins, quickly spreading through every single cell in her body, and every fiber of her being.

Shion grinned her taunting grin as she looked down at her horrified sister, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "You fool. You're telling yourself lies. Don't you hate lies, my dear sister?"

Mion's hands shook with the intensity of an earthquake. "No… you're dead… you can't be here…"
Shion just laughed in a way that Mion felt was supposed to mock her, and did it ever work. Her laugh tore at her sanity, ripping it with demonic claws and shredding it to pieces. "My dear sister, we're twins. Have you forgotten that? We were born together, and even in death, we're still twins. I'm always with you, sister… and it hurts down here… you hurt me, you really did. I thought that you had noticed your sins…"

Mion's eyes widened to the size of plates. "No… it wasn't my fault…"

"HA!" Shion laughed. "Wasn't your fault? You could have done so many things, my dear sister, so don't try to deny it. If you had told Satoshi some words to pick him up, he may have had the strength to fight his uncle and aunt back without killing him. If you had had the will to run up to the child services and force them to take care of Satoko, then the whole thing could have been avoided. And had you not been so blind and stupid as to notice that Rena was pulling Keiichi from you, you could have walked up to him and stopped it all form happening. And just where would you be if you had done all that?"

Shion grinned as she took a step forward, then beginning to pace around in circles around Mion, shooting her a look with her taunting, cruel green eyes filled with madness and pure enjoyment from seeing her sister so horrified. "Satoshi would be here. Satoko would be healed up and she wouldn't be with her aunt and uncle, and surely she would be laughing and happy. Had you been kind to Satoshi, he would have moved on from you and perhaps gone to me, where he would have been nice and happy for the rest of his life. And dear sister, don't you forget that I would have been happy, and that the pieces of my heart wouldn't have been stepped on and spat on. Not only by Satoshi, but by YOU," she hissed out, spitting the last word out as if on top of Mion.

"Heck, you would have Keiichi to hold onto, and then you wouldn't be so pathetic and weak, now would you? And if this all hadn't happened, then Rika wouldn't be upset and depressed either! You caused it, sister. You made a poor, young little girl who shouldn't have to suffer depressed. You ruined her life." She then forced another grinned with taunting malice rushing through it on her face. "Oh, not to mention that I wouldn't have had to kill Satoko. So, technically speaking, it was YOU who murdered her. You, Sonozaki Shion, are a murderer! Not just for murdering me, but for Satoko, too, and for ruining the life of a happy little girl!"
Each word stabbed at Mion, and she tried to deny them, but her force was no longer strong enough. The force field her sanity had put up was completely obliterated by Shion's stabbing, tearing words that seemed to rip her to shreds. She breathed heavily as she listened to them, shaking her head as she scooted backwards on the floor, but she could no longer find strength to deny them.

"No…" she breathed.

"DON'T YOU SAY THAT!" screamed Shion. "YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!" At that moment, her eyes seemed to light up in a sickening, green glow that was glossed over by pure rage like Mion had never seen before. She gasped and stumbled backwards, crying out with pain. "Dear sister, you know this already. It's all your fault. All of it. You forced me to murder, you forced Satoshi to murder, you forced Rika's life to ruin, you forced Keiichi to move to Rena, and you forced your own life to it's end! Why don't you just jump off a cliff again, and maybe this time you'll actually DIE!"

Mion gasped out in shock, but all she could find the strength to do was shake her head. Her denial was no longer working, and that was all she could do to block the words out, to prevent herself from fully accepting them. If she stopped, it felt like all the words would soon be completely accepted by her mind…

"But you know, sister, there is one thing that you can do. I know you've fallen too far to save yourself from ruin, to save me from death, to save Satoko from death, and Satoshi as well, but there is one thing that you could do…"
Shion crouched down by Mion's side and placed her hands on Mion's shoulder, digging her fingernails in them. They seemed to have twisted into horrible, deformed animal claws that were now tearing at her and causing burning pain. Shion chuckled just a bit, but said nothing more than one word. "Rena."

That was all that she needed to say. As if her state of mind wasn't already broken enough, Mion completely snapped. Her eyes widened and her mind seemed to enter a state where she couldn't think, where Shion's words just repeated over and over again…

"Oh, and by the way…" Shion started. She grinned tauntingly. "I'm going to get you, sister. I'm still here for you. I'm waiting… it hurts…waiting hurts… but I'm going to kill you. You're next… Ahaha… come for me… Ahaha… Ahaha..."

At that moment, the Shion before her twisted into a demonic version of herself, the same one that Mion had seen in Satoshi's eyes. The demon roared at her and leapt with a powerful pounce, and the next thing Mion could feel was the fangs ripping at her with points as sharp as knives. The demon's claws tore at her like she was some kind of scratching post, and they ripped at her mind, at her body. The demon whispered into her ears, reminding her about how it was her fault, how she had no one else to blame but herself…

…And she no longer had the strength to deny it.

Mion screamed out with the pain of the demon. She wanted to call for help, for someone to save her, but she couldn't. Another part of her yelled at her to deny the words, but she had already long ago accepted them. She had before, hadn't she? She had just been trying to deny it with the last of her strength… but that was already gone…

And when she couldn't take it anymore, she found herself on her legs, walking. Her mind was in a state of complete and utter distress, echoing out nothing but Shion's words from before. "It's your fault…" they told her, "you are to blame for everything. You killed a girl. You ruined her life. You forced your friends to murder… it's your fault… no one but your fault…"

She found herself stumbling towards the kitchen, and her body seemed to move on its own. She snatched up a knife and held it by her side. The next thing that she knew, she was out the door, walking down the paths of Hinamizawa. Her mind would not let her question why she was holding a knife and walking down the paths at night where someone could clearly see her with the night. Her mind was full of Shion's words, and it had no room to work out simple problems like that.

"Do you not understand what you've done, sister?" she snorted. "I thought we made it nice and clear why you had to go. Because of Satoshi-kun, and because you weren't there for him. Because it's your fault that he suffered, because it's you who didn't comfort him when he needed it most, because it's you who forced him to sit there in suffering."

She panted as she took steps forward. Yeah, because of her… because of her everyone was suffering… because she hadn't done anything… when she could have… yeah… that was the reason why…

She walked along. Nothing could seem to stop her from moving forward, and she was lucky that no one happened to be on the same path as her. Mion was doing nothing but holding the knife, walking, and thinking, but for some reason, she could not drop the knife. It was as if it had become a part of her soul, protecting her from the danger... What danger, exactly, was it protecting her from? She didn't know, but she didn't even question it in the first place. Had she any room to think about that sort of thing?

You caused it. You caused all this. You are the reason behind this mess. You could have stopped it all, you know. You could have saved Satoshi, you know. You probably could have saved Satoko, you know. You could have taken Keiichi from Rena before he fell in love with her, you know. But what did you do? You did nothing. And now, it's too late. … You caused it. You caused all this. You are the reason behind this mess. You could have stopped it all, you know. You could have saved Satoshi, you know. You probably could have saved Satoko, you know. You could have taken Keiichi from Rena before he fell in love with her, you know. But what did you do? You did nothing. And now, it's too late. You caused it. You caused all this. You are the reason behind this mess. You could have stopped it—

Mion halted when her eyes rested upon two figures in the dark. She recognized them almost immediately.

Keiichi and Rena.

She saw the smile on her face. The cute, sweet smile that she knew could never be hers. Then, she saw the smile on Keiichi's, which she knew came from the happiness of seeing someone like Rena's beautiful smile. Yeah, and he used to smile at her that way, but now… but now…

"That Kei-chan never loved you. He loves Rena now. That little bitch grabbed him and stole him away from you… heh… yeah, they're together now. I see them all the time, don't you know? You see them all the time, too. Talking, helping each other, smiling at each other… and don't tell me you don't smile at Kei-chan the same way they smile at each other," Shion said, grinning.

Something in her mind snapped. She didn't know what it was, but she didn't try to stop what her body did next. Without a single second thought, she found herself running towards the two of them, clutching her knife tightly. A part of her mind that was still sane screamed at her to stop, but there was no room for her to even listen to that voice anymore. Her mind had been taken over.

She dashed between the two of them, earning shocked gasps from them. "Shi-chan, what are you doing here?" Rena asked. "And what were you doing today? Why weren't you at school, I wonder, I wonder…"

Mion gritted her teeth. She thought she was so cute for repeating the end of her sentence, huh? She whirled around and pointed the knife straight at he, and with a roar, she ran to stab.

Rena gasped and moved out of the way, and she heard a surprised Keiichi yell out some words in shock, but she was unable to process what they were. The only thing that she could think of were Shion's words… and how right she was. She fought without even thinking. The hand with her knife in it seemed to jab at Rena without second thoughts, and when the girl began to run away, her feet seemed to move without her telling them to.

She stole him from you. She ruined your life. Yeah, she's a part of it… too! She's a part of the reason why this world messed up…! It's not just you… ahahaha… it's not just you! She needs to be punished! ! !

Rena was yelling for help, but Mion didn't take it in. She grinned with a smile that mirrored that of her sister's yesterday, and she giggled a bit at how desperate she sounded. In a moment, she would be able to take revenge for what had happened, for breaking this world apart…

She chased Rena down, and whenever she got the chance, she would swipe at her with the knife, but Rena was fast. Her frustration and desire grew with every single swipe, and so did her speed, but it seemed that no matter how much she ran, Rena was always one step ahead. She gritted her teeth in annoyance as she chased after the screaming girl, the want to kill burning within her. They were now in the forest part of the village, and Mion and Rena showed no signs of slowing down.

That's when Rena tripped over a root, and it was all over. Mion pounced on her prey like a hungry lioness and pinned her down underneath her. She laughed madly as she stabbed the knife down on the girl's back once, but even when she heard the girl scream with such pain in it that it made her smile, it wasn't enough. She wanted to hear more of it… no… she needed to hear more of it! Her cries were so satisfying! Mion grinned madly as she stabbed down again, earning another shriek from her victim, but she didn't stop then. She stabbed again, and again, and again, and soon, her giggles turned into maddened laughter. Oh, how she loved to hear Rena scream! She deserved it! She deserved every last bit of pain for taking away her Keiichi!

When the screams faded away, Mion got off of Rena and looked down at her. She kicked her once with her shoe, and when she didn't budge, Mion grinned so wildly and madly that Shion would turn green with envy. "Ahaha…. Ahahaha… Ahahahahahaha… Ahahahahahaha… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SERVES YOU RIGHT! GO BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND THIS WORLD, RYUUGUU RENA!" she laughed out, throwing her hands up in the air as she continued to cackle madly.

She slumped over, grinning. Yes, she had taken care of the problem. Now…. Now…

She began to turn away and walk back, but a figure dashed right by her, causing her to turn around. Keiichi knelt by Rena's side, yelling. "Oh god, Rena! No, you can't be dead! Rena! Speak to me!" His hands went to her body as he began to shake her back and forth, desperately trying to wake her from a slumber that was already impossible for her to wake from.

Keiichi looked up at Mion, surprise in his eyes. "No… Shion, you couldn't have…" His eyes trailed to the bloody knife in her hand, and his eyes widened with complete and utter horror. "…You… did… no… no… no… Shion… I… I… Not you, my Shion…"
My Shion. Those words lit a flame of fury in Mion's soul that was greater than any flame that came before it, and greater than she had ever seen. How dare he call her his Shion, even after he cheated on her with that Rena bitch! "YOU LIED TO ME, KEI-CHAN!" she screamed out.

"W-What? I lied about what? Shion, why did you kill—"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" she screamed out. "I thought you cared for me, I thought you loved me. But no… no… you went and took her, you went and cheated on me… when I loved you so much!"

Keiichi looked stunned. "No… no… you have it wrong, Shion! You're the only one for me, I could never—"

"YOU'RE LYING!" screamed Mion. Without a single thought, Mion ran over to Keiichi with the knife and tackled him to the ground. The boy struggled beneath her, but in her rage, he was no match. She plunged the knife into his heart, and he gasped out.

"No… Shi-… I love yo…"

She didn't even stop then. She continually stabbed the knife again and again in his heart, listening to his twisted screams full of pain, and probably now full of regret from having cheated on her. Yeah, that was right… he was regretting it now. He should have never cheated on her!

She ripped deep into his heart, even after she knew he was dead. He deserved to have his heart destroyed for ripping hers out and playing with it! It served him right… it served him right! Fury blinded her vision and seemed to blur her world as she plunged the knife deeper into his wound, twisting it so that all the blood in his body poured out like a waterfall.

When she felt the rage cease, she got up from him, looking down at her two kills and smiling to herself. Yeah, it was done now… she had killed them… She grinned to herself. She no longer felt bad about killing Shion, and to her surprise, she didn't feel bad about murdering Rena or Keiichi. It felt good. She looked down at her stained hands and chuckled. Yeah, this world was already messed up, so what did it matter if she lost two more people? It no longer made a difference…

Right as she was about to turn around and leave, however, her eyes met with someone else's.

It was Rika, staring at her with determination in her eyes like never before, and a seriousness that she would never expect from a girl her age.

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Crimso's Corner V.3

Mion's lost it officially. Wow, she does that a lot in my fanfiction, doesn't she? Wait until you read EOG. That reminds me, I think I'm going to write TB first and if I feel like it, write some EOG along the way. We'll see, though. (By the way, Shion in the beginning was a hallucination, but I think you figured that out.)

I told you everything yesterday, so I'll just add here that for summer, things have been busy. I've been packing for camp and getting ready for it, and that includes going to a lot of stores and buying things I need. I'm being dragged everywhere by my mother, and tomorrow, I have to get a ton of new clothing and spend just about all day doing so.

Sigh. Oh well. I'm exciting for camp… I mean, really excited. It's a nice change from GED, when I was dreading it, right? I can't wait!

~Crimso