Grif?!
Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue, guys. You'd have to be Caboose to think we do.
~•~
Tucker is, in fact, one of the few people from Blood Gulch that made actual sense.
"One of the few? Then who were the others?"
grif, i think. and possibly simmons?
Caboose was kinda normal... Ish? At the very beginning?
not really..
Okay, you have to admit: the most sane of them all was Sarge.
no.
Why not? Sister, then?
please stop suggesting people who were/are clearly in the insanity zone
What about Tex? Or Lopez?
lopez.. yes, he made sense. but tex was like crazy obsessed with money and shit? what was her deeeeeeeeal?
Uh.. Idk.
'course you dont know
What about... Church?
no, he thought he was a ghost which doesn't really make any sense in hindsight?
Donut. Or Doc? Washington visited Blood Gulch once..
he doesn't count. Doc. Doc.. No. Doc was/is mildly insane. And Donut, he just kinda made up things and pretended they were reality? Like, in the cave after Grif and Simmons were drugged he started spouting anti-drug shit.
...Junior...?
NOBODY HUMAN COULD UNDERSTAND HIM! hey, epsilon, do you have Zeta as a memory-fragment?
"Uh... No?"
He doesn't exist in this. Also, what about O'Malley? Or Sheila?
O'Malley is a crazy ball of rage. Sheila.. didn't.. not really... Weird, I feel like I was supposed to die when Epsilon was going crazy.
Well, you're still alive, so.. I guess fate had other plans for you.
feels wrong though
Why?
I dunno. – hey, who're you?
Silver.
no not you – leggo!
...
hey! stop that!
...leggo?
YES, LET GO. help pls
Uh.. What?
HELP
What's going on?
uhhh, me..? is.. like, kidnapping me… or something HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STOP NO
...
"Is something wrong with -T- her?" Epsilon asked.
YESSSSSSSS NO STOP PUT THAT DOWN
Don't worry; she's probably just going crazy. All 2 year-olds are crazy.
HEEEEEEEEE – I swear, I don't know how to shut up.
...
"Oh, right. Seriously, you people never shut up. Really annoying. Like... Like.. Caboose. Yeah. He's annoying. Okay, why am I talking like this?"
Texas appeared in front of Epsilon, holding a helmet with a broken visor and dripping with blood, and strangely enough, her own visor was also broken. "Stupid bitch."
"T"
What the fuck?
The helmet she was holding was the same color as her own, and as she stuffed it into pocket space the shattered metal in the back caught the light for a second.
Please don't be a bitch like me and tell me what's going on..
"It's rather confusing and I don't think you would understand." A cannon's boom started to ring out but she silenced it with a glare to the sky.
Then how will the readers understand!?
"They won't."
Actually, now that I think of it, if anyone actually read to this point I don't think they'd care if things made sense..
"It's stupid shit about alternate realities and whatever anyways."
Yeah.
Epsilon stared at Texas, "What are you talking about, even?"
"Things." She shoved her mystically floating, metallic blue pistol into her holster.
"Okay, you're obviously not gonna tell me anything."
"I will tell you this: I'm dead."
"Now I know you're just fucking with me."
"Whose helmet do you think that was?"
"Bob's."
"It was mine."
"Right."
"Anyways I sent myself to the universe where ghosts are real. That was fun."
"Right."
"Stop saying that."
"Right."
"Have a little trust, Epsilon." Texas sighed and looked to her left.
Blossom and a bright red-haired boy peeked out from that side. "Texas?"
"Wrong Texas, the one you're looking for is already dead." She shoved them backwards. "Also watch out for the others, there's shit in the forest that'll kill them."
"Right," Epsilon said.
"But Eppy's righ–" Texas shot the boy a death glare.
"Wrong reality, go back." They vanished, but not before Texas shoved the poker chips that the Narrator had previously given her into the boy's hands.
"Right," Epsilon said again.
"Shut up."
"Right."
"You've recorded yourself saying that and are just playing it over and over again just to spite me, aren't you."
"Right."
"Ugh."
"Right. Right. Ri-"
"I will kill you, shut up."
"-Ght. Right. Right. Right."
"SHUT UP." Texas started walking away to hopefully find someone who was an actual person.
"Uh.. You do realize that no matter what, Epsilon isn't an actual person, right?" Tucker asked. "Actually, a lot of people aren't actually people. Like Church, and all the AIs. And Lopez. Sheila, too. Also, that's not Epsilon recording himself. I'm pretty sure he broke again."
"Right. Right. Right. Rigth. Rghit. Ri- ri- ..."
"That's what I meant. I was going to look for some of the people who disappeared. And I. Don't. Care." She took out the helmet she had previously stored in pocket space and tossed it into the air.
"Heeeey, Texas!" Donut jumped in front of her. "How's your day?"
"Long." The helmet turned to glitter, and fell on Donut.
"Oh! Thanks! I've been meaning to add glitter for a while now, but I never quite got around to it."
"I would think blue wouldn't look good with ..lightish red.., but okay." She turned around and walked off in a random direction.
~•~
Donut! How many times do I have ta tell you: it's pink!