I Remember Love
A Becoming Jane-story
By: jakeline
Summary: The story begins after the opera, the year is 1814, Jane and Tom have met again. They begin questioning their actions and choices in the past (i.e. from the time they met in 1795 and forward).This is what could have happened if the movie had not ended.
Disclaimer: I do not own Jane Austen, Tom Lefroy or any other character in this story. Facts are taken from the Becoming Jane Fansite.
Author's note: Very short, I know… But I'm getting married in the morning and I wanted get this out!
Part 36: In which Tom is still not out of the woods
Tom was lost in the shadows. From far away he could hear someone calling his name, but he could not reach out to the person calling for him. He was cold, so cold. He could not remember ever being so cold. He could hear voices murmuring around him but could not make himself heard. Where was he? Where was Jane? What happened? He remembered the snow. He must have fallen. Was he hurt? He did not feel any pain. Was he dead? I cannot be dead!
Tom tried to open his eyes but his lids did not move an inch. He tried to move but his body was not responding. He began to feel afraid. Something just was not right.
-xxx-
"Wake up, Tom, please wake up," pleaded Jane with tears falling down on his face. "I cannot go on without you." She buried her face in his neck. He was still very cold and nothing they did seemed to change that. His breathing was normal as was his pulse. There was nothing to explain why Tom was unconscious.
She knew she could not live on if he was not in her life. Jane had never felt so helpless in her life.
"Is there nothing we can do?" Jane looked up at Mr Phelps.
"I do not what else to do, Miss Austen," said Mr Phelps worriedly. "There is just nothing to explain why he is unconscious." Jane threw a look out the window, but the snow was still falling as hard as ever. She could not let anyone out the door before it had slowed down. Even if it was for the sake of Tom's life she could not risk another life in that weather. Jane looked down at Tom's pale face. She caressed it and begged him to open his eyes.
"Please, Tom, come back to me."
-xxx-
Back in Limerick the snow was not falling as hard as it did at Carrigglas. Jane Lefroy peered out the windows, feeling quite delighted to see the green lawn turn white. She could not wait to get out to play in the snow, but tonight it was too late. Mrs and Miss Austen were overseeing the work being down in the kitchen in preparation of what needed to be made for Miss Jane Austen's birthday.
Winter was, after summer, Jane's favourite time of year. She loved the way the snow covered everything up and gave it soft shapes. She could stay outside all day just wandering about looking at different things, making angels in the snow or throwing snowballs at her brothers.
She wondered how her father and Miss Austen were doing and hoped that they were safe and sound inside. They had only been gone for a day but she was already missing them. At night she sat by the fire and made garlands with the younger children, Mrs Austen and Miss Austen. Jane enjoyed working with her hands in quiet reflexion. There were still things to be done in preparation for Miss Austen's birthday, but Jane was on top of it. She was certain it was going to be a splendid day.
-xxx-
Tom stirred slightly. The dark was fading and his eyelids begun to slowly open. He tried to focus on the face that looked down at him with large dark eyes filled with concern.
"Jane?" he whispered hoarsely when he recognised the worried face with the large hazel eyes.
"Oh, Tom! Thank God!" Jane's face lit up in a shaky but relieved smile and her eyes filled with tears.
"Where am I?" He could not recognise the pattern in the ceiling. This was not his house. He tried to remember what had happened but his mind was blank. There was only Jane.
"I thought I had lost you," whispered Jane and covered his face with hot kisses.
"What happened?" Tom was beginning to feel slightly worried. His body felt oddly numb and he could not make his limbs move.
"You went out into the snow to fetch our luggage and got lost. As Mr Phelps found you, you fell," replied Jane. "You have been unconscious for some time." Tom could see that something was not right by the way Jane was looking at him. But what? Not knowing scared him.
"I cannot…" he could not bring himself to finish the sentence.
"Mr Phelps will go fetch the doctor as soon as the snowing stops," said Jane calmly. At least he was not cold anymore. But Jane's worried eyes made him uncomfortable, how ever calm she may sound. Why could he not move? Panic filled his chest and he closed his eyes, trying to make it go away.
-xxx-
Jane felt utterly relieved as she saw Tom's eyes finally open. But he did not seem to remember what had happened and on top of that he could not move his body. She could see the fear in Tom's eyes and did her best to remain calm and composed though she was as scared as him. If only it would stop snowing so Mr Phelps could fetch the doctor.
Tom had at least regained colour to his face and his body was not shivering from cold anymore. She dearly hoped the immobility in his limbs was temporary and that it would sort itself out before the doctor was fetched. But she was worried.
Mr and Mrs Phelps had left her to herself for a while. They had tried to make her sleep, but Jane knew she could not rest until she knew Tom was out of danger. Still neither of them could understand why Tom lay unconscious and unable to move. There was no injury to explain it and that was most vexing.
Tom's eyelids slipped down again and he was once more unconscious. Most unwillingly Jane left him and went in search of Mr and Mrs Phelps. They would want to hear that Tom at least had been awake. She found them in the kitchen.
"He was awake for a short time," said Jane as she stood in the doorway unsure whether to walk in or not. "But he drifted off again."
"Come and sit down, Miss Austen," said Mrs Phelps. "I will make you a nice strong cup of tea." Jane did as she was told. She felt totally numb and could not think straight.
"Did he say anything?" asked Mr Phelps.
"Yes, he does not seem to remember what happened or where he is," replied Jane. Pr Phelps looked worried. "He cannot move." Jane's eyes filled with tears. "But he knew my name."
"If only it would stop snow!" cried Mr Phelps and flew up from the chair and walked over to the window. He looked as worried as Jane felt.
"There we are," said Mrs Phelps as she put down a cup in front of Jane.
Outside the snow was steadily falling and did not show any signs of stopping. One good thing was that the wind did not have the same power as before. Hopefully it was a sign of the weather improving. Jane prayed that it was.
-xxx-
The next time Tom opened his eyes he was alone. Jane was nowhere to be seen. He tried to listen for voices but all he could hear was the crackling of the dying fire. Where was Jane? Panic struck again. He did not like to be left alone in the condition. He tried to call out but not a sound came out of his mouth. The odd thing was that he did not feel pain anywhere. He was not hurt in anyway. It was very confusing.
He stirred slightly, carefully trying to move his muscles. Slowly and quite painfully they were responding. First he moved his toes, then his fingers, legs and arms. Finally he managed to sit up. He took a look around and tried to remember where he was. The room was totally unknown to him. The only thing he could recall was Jane and her dark worried eyes. Where had she gone to? Tom tried to rise, but his head started spinning something awful that he slumped back down again. This will not do!
-TBC-
Hope you liked it.