Chapter 36

The ride in the cab that brought me to the airport was the longest I ever had. I was so stressed up about this whole 'going to Davenport with Seth' thing and a part of me felt bad. I should've been worried about his mom that was sick, but instead, I was freaking out about being stuck in a plane with my ex-boyfriend. I couldn't believe how selfish I was but again, I couldn't help it. After Elena told me that I could go, I immediately went back home to grab the luggage that Felix set up for me. On my way back to my best friend's place, I called a cab to make sure that I didn't lose any seconds. It already took me so long to make up my mind about this and I couldn't afford to miss that plane. Although it would've been better for my own good, I couldn't let him down like that. Things ended up very weirdly between us, thanks to me, but he didn't deserve this. I just had to remember what it was like to deal with death alone and I knew I had to be by his side, even if I would've loved for someone else to take my place. I was tempted to call Roman to make sure that he couldn't be there for his friend but in the end I didn't. I knew Seth didn't lie when he said his brothers couldn't be there for him. I knew it must've taken everything for him to come to see me and ask me to go with him.

I finally arrived to the airport after being stuck in traffic. I was beginning to be scared of not making it in time. When I passed the glass doors, I found myself stuck in a long line at the registration desks. I tried to spot Seth somewhere, but he must've already registered. I was the one being late, he was surely there on time. I looked at my phone and saw that the plane was scheduled to leave in forty minutes. You are supposed to be at the airport about three hours before your flight, but by the time I had finally made my decision, I was already past those three hours. I prayed for that waiting line to go faster and someone, somewhere, must've heard me because all of a sudden, it was my turn. After I gave the girl everything she needed, I went to the big waiting room. I looked everywhere for Seth when my eyes finally caught his. His face lightened up when he saw me and his smile confirmed me that I made the right choice by coming. He needed me and I was here for him, no matter what had happened between us. I was his friend before I was his girlfriend, it was time for me to remember that. Even though I was finally convincing myself that everything was going to be alright, it still felt terribly weird when he hugged me.

"I'm glad you came." he said.

"Sorry I'm a bit short on time." I simply said, patting his back.

I didn't know what else to do. When he finally let go of me, I gave him my best smile, hoping he wouldn't notice how uncomfortable I was. I looked back at the clock and was glad to know that we only have twenty more minute of awkwardness before getting on that plane.

"I'm gonna grab something to eat, you want anything?" I said as I pointed the restaurant near our seats.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry."

That's when I realized that Seth wasn't feeling good at all. That man was always hungry. When we were living together, he was always the first in the kitchen to prepare breakfast, dinner or late night snack. He would even get up during the night sometimes to eat. Always healthy stuff though. Or should I say mostly? Thinking about our time together hurt a lot more than I thought it would. These past few weeks, I thought I was finally passed this but apparently, it was still too fresh. As I was waiting in line to get something to eat, I risked a look at Seth. I couldn't stop myself from thinking how beautiful he was, even though he looked sad. Gladly for me, he was on the phone and didn't notice that I was staring at him. The women behind me reminded me that I was there to order food when she gently tapped my shoulder to ask me to move forward. I took my eyes off of Seth and apologized to her.

After I ordered myself some fries, I went back to my seat, where my luggage and Seth were waiting for me. I sat next to him, trying to be as quiet as possible. I didn't want to disturb him during his phone call. As he was talking, I could hear a girl's voice on the other side of the line. Maybe I should've been surprised, but I wasn't. I already knew that Seth was seeing someone else. Not that I checked, but apparently my best friend thought it would be a good thing to know. He showed me that tweet where it showed a picture of him and a blonde girl. People were saying that she was his new girlfriend, but I knew better than to believe social media assholes. After all the lies and rumors those people said about me, I knew damn well not to believe anything there was on the internet. And even if she was his girlfriend, I didn't mind. Was I jealous? Not really. Maybe a little bit. But I was the one who left him, he had every right to go on with his life. I wanted him to be happy. There was still a part of me that hoped that the girl on the phone wasn't the one Felix showed me. She looked way too superficial for Seth.

Seth finally put an end to the call, telling her that he would call her later. I waited and listened to see if he was going to say those three little words but he didn't. As he hung up, I offered him my fries. Maybe the sight of food would bring his hunger back but unfortunately it didn't. Apparently, it just made him uncomfortable. Or maybe it was that phone call. Maybe he didn't want me to know he was seeing someone else. Thinking about all this made me uncomfortable too and I thanked God when they announced that we needed to get on our plane.

We arrived at Seth's house a couple of hours later. The flight was long and uncomfortable. At least I could pretend to be asleep so I wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness between us while Seth was watching Fight Club on his iPad. My heart stung a bit when I remember the night in California, when he left Felix's party to hang out with me in my room. We watched that movie until we both fell asleep in my bed. It was our first night together and I remembered being nervous as fuck that day.

As soon as we landed, we went straight to the hospital to see his mom, but we were told that the visiting hours were over. Nobody wanted to let him go just to check up on her. He tried and tried but they wouldn't let him go. We bumped into Seth's dad in a hallway. He was on his way back to the room, but he told his son he would call him back in the morning since the visiting hours were over. They fought a bit and I had to agree that I was with Seth on this one. It was so stupid. They could've made an exception. It was not like someone would see him, the hospital was nearly empty at that time of day. I tried again by asking his dad if he could convince one of the nurses to let him go but he said no. I hoped we could see her today. I didn't want to spend too much time away from work. I hoped I could take a plane the next day to go back home. When Seth understood that there was no way he would be seeing his mom until the next morning, he finally said goodbye to his dad and we left.

I insisted on staying to the hotel but unfortunately, there was nothing left for the night. I should've asked Felix to get me a room while I was on my way to the airport. Seth said that he didn't mind if I stayed in the guest room, but I did. As soon as I stepped foot into his house, memories of our life together got back to me. I remembered the first time I got here, when I had to explain to his sister that I was just a friend. The night of the wedding, when we had sex for the first time. I remembered our talk the next morning, about being fuck buddies. It wasn't that long ago but it seemed to me like it happened years ago.

"Are you hungry?" Seth asked me as he put his luggage in the living room.

"No not really." I answered. "Actually I think I'm gonna go to bed."

Since I never really slept in the plane, I was exhausted from the traveling. Even if it wasn't that late, I was burned.

"You need any help with this?" he said as he pointed my luggage.

"No thanks, I'm fine."

I smiled and told him good-night before I made my way to the guest room.

I woke up in the middle of the night, mouth dry and a little loss. It took me a couple of seconds to remember that I was in the guest room of Seth's house in Davenport. For one moment, I thought I had dreamt all this. Seth surprise visit in my office, his mom being sick, him asking me to go visit her with him, the airport and the hospital. Then my eyes laid on my luggage that was open on the bedroom floor and I knew it wasn't a dream. After Seth and I were over, he haunted my nights for weeks. Sometimes the dreams were nice, but sometimes I found myself waking up crying because I missed him. I finally got better those last few weeks, but being here with him was hard. I wished things weren't that weird. Why couldn't we just be friends like we were before? Seth once said that after what happened the night of the wedding, we couldn't just go back to where we were and I never really understood until now.

I woke up and walked to the bathroom. My mouth felt as if I've been eating sands during my sleep. It was so disgusting that I couldn't fall back to sleep. I needed to drink something. The bathroom was closer to the bedroom than the kitchen and I knew for a fact that Seth always kept a glass near the sink. I growled when I opened the light and immediately closed my eyes. It was so bright that I couldn't let them open. I blindly walked to the counter, and reached for that glass. I cracked an eye open to turn the cold water on and let it flow for a bit. I drank the whole glass like I had never drank water in my life and heave a sigh of relief when I was done. I put back the glass on the counter and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was wearing a pair of black shorts with a Seth Rollins shirt.

Note to self: Kill Felix when I'll get home, I thought.

When I asked my best friend to pack an old t-shirt for the night, I never thought he would pack this particular shirt. I thought it was a joke but when I emptied the content of my luggage, I understood that it wasn't. There was no other 'old shirt'.

When I made my way back to the guest room, I passed in front of Seth's and heard something. I immediately stopped and listened, thinking that I was crazy. He probably just snored or something since it was three in the morning. There was no way he was still awake. I heard the noise again and risked a look inside. All I could see was Seth's shadow. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his back facing me, his head in his hand.

"Seth?"

He didn't answer. I heard him take a deep breath and saw that his shoulders were shaky. Was he crying? I couldn't see his face at all but I swore that he was.

"Seth, what's going on?" I asked again as I slowly walked into the room.

He snorted and I could see him shaking his head from side to side. I wanted to go to the other side of the bed to see his face, but I was frozen and couldn't move any further. I had never seen him like this. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable and thought I could simply go back to my room.

"My dad just called." Seth said with a shaky voice. "She's dead."

He started sobbing like a baby and my heart broke into pieces. There was nothing in the world that I could've said that would've made him stop. I did the only thing I could think of. I kneeled on the bed and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my chest against his back to hold him close and shared his tears.

"My mom's dead."

He kept saying that over and over again while I was gently rocking him back and forth to soothe him. After a moment, he stopped crying and I made him lie on his side without letting go of him. Tonight, I was going to be the big spoon. He needed me to be. Seth tangled his fingers with mine as I was telling him that everything would be fine. I wished I had something better to say, but it was all that I could do. I wished someone would have done that when my mom died. I was not leaving him tonight. I was there for him just like he asked me to be.

A/N - Sorry again about the feels... it'll get better... hopefully !