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Sarge: At attention, soldiers! This is Sergeant Sarge from the popular Web series Red vs. Blue.

Chruch: And this is Private Leonard L. Church from the same show.

Sarge: Because we know you don't care at all about what's happening in the story right now, we figured this is the most opportune time to do some public service.

Church: That's right! Today, we're warning you about one of the most dangerous fads sweeping the universe.

Sarge: Absolutely. It's one of the worst things you can possibly do. Not only is this hazardous act time-consuming, but it takes over your life!

Church: It's addictive.

Sarge: Conceited.

Church: Obtrusive.

Sarge: And pointless, to say the least.

Church: We are speaking, of course, of blogging.

Sarge: Careful, soldier! Don't say it too loudly. Who knows what sensitive ears may be listening!

Church: You see, kids, starting a blog is a terrible thing for you—bad for your mental, physical, emotional, and overall health and well-being.

Sarge: Damn right! Here, we have compiled a list of why you should NEVER start a blog. Take it from us. We are professionals. At least, I am. Church here, on the other hand—

Church: ALLLL right. Here we go. "Top Reasons Never to Begin a Blog, by the most amazing, intelligent, handsome Private Leonard L. Church… and Sarge."

Sarge: That's not the title we agreed on!

Church: Number One: Blogging makes you arrogant because, suddenly, the world revolves around you. All you do is talk about yourself, and who wants to hang around someone like that?

Sarge: Exactly! Everyone wants to hang around me.

Church: (Laughs) Sorry Sarge, but everyone actually wants to hang out with me.

Sarge: No they don't, you stuck-up asshole! Sarge is where it's at.

Church: (Rolls eyes) Number Two: Blogging is dangerous. Since you're already talking about yourself nonstop, all you do is reveal information about yourself and give creepers an excuse to… creep!

Sarge: Like this: My name is Sarge and I live in Blood Gulch and love fluffy kittens and use expensive shampoo and like chocolate fondue and Donut's quiche and Angelina Jolie and have pictures of her in my—

Church: YES. That is exactly what we're talking about. (Coughs) Um. Well. Next point—oh, dammit. Simmons and Donut, we are trying to film here! Get out of the way!

Simmons: What's going on here, guys? (Reads beginning of PSA) Wait, what? Sarge, you actually like Donut's—

Donut: SQUEEEE YOU LIKE MY QUICHE!1!1! 8D

Simmons: Jesus, here we go. But... but are you guys serious?

Church: Of course we are. This is an important part of society that's about to ruin tons of young lives.

Simmons: Really? I just got done hacking into Eleven's blog, and it doesn't seem so bad.

Eleven: (From inside Blue base) YOU DID WHAT?

Simmons: Oh, shit. Gotta go. (Runs off being chased by a very angry CIA Agent)

Church: …

Sarge: Well. This reiterates Number Two, don't you think?

Donut: You know, guys, Eleven's blog is actually pretty sweet. The color scheme could use with an upgrade, though…

Church: Donut, shut your mouth! We're trying to warn people about blogs here, not promote them!

Sarge: Watch it, Blue! Tell your own soldiers to shut their mouths or I'll punch yours in!

Church: Oh, it's on. (The two fall into a pile, fighting)

Donut: (Glances at the couple on the grass, unfazed, and looks to the camera happily) Have you ever had a question for Agent Eleven? Have you ever wanted to give her advice? Or, do you just want to tell her how you really feel? Well, now you can! Visit her blog here:

ask-agent-eleven[dot]tumblr[dot]com

Ask away, and she'll answer any questions you have! Who knows? You might even find some surprises along the way… but for now, it's time for me to go and start up the fondue machine! Ciao!

(Hmm. Well, Eleven's blog is open and ready for questions. She'll have plenty of updates for you and more juicy details about her missions as well, if you follow along to read her posts.

…I have a nagging feeling that some of you are going to have a lot more fun with this than you should…)

(EDIT: YES I REALLY AM THAT EVIL. 8D

Good things come to those who wait...)